Heard the same thing from my mother for many years. After some years she finally gave up on the Grandmother fantasy and bought a small dog. This has worked out very well as the dog acts as a substitute for grandkid.
Most common age to start thinking about kids
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Heard the same thing from my mother for many years. After some years she finally gave up on the Grandmother fantasy and bought a small dog. This has worked out very well as the dog acts as a substitute for grandkid.
I've always wanted to adopt over having children of my own. I have one biological child and I'm stopping there.
Anyone that says money should not be an issue when having children is either already extremely wealthy or has a strong social safety net. Even putting aside EB's college cost issue, in the US middle class you're probably going to spend about $300,000 on one child by the time the kid is 18 years old. That's probably even higher if you're in California or the Northeast where daycare costs are ridiculous. Of course, some people find creative ways to bypass daycare but make no mistake: raising kids is not free or cheap.
Anyone that says money should not be an issue when having children is either already extremely wealthy or has a strong social safety net. Even putting aside EB's college cost issue, in the US middle class you're probably going to spend about $300,000 on one child by the time the kid is 18 years old. That's probably even higher if you're in California or the Northeast where daycare costs are ridiculous. Of course, some people find creative ways to bypass daycare but make no mistake: raising kids is not free or cheap.
Some of the posts in this thread are in denial about the financial costs of having children. I also see the same emotion based rationales in these posts that have wrought financial ruin upon some of my clients.
While much energy has been devoted to discussing costs of daycare, there are a lot of hidden costs with children. One is the cost of nurturing talent when the child displays some. Let me explain. Since I get to see the devastation first hand in foreclosure cases.
Had a foreclosure defense a few years ago. Client was a married woman working as a bookkeeper for a small company and pulling in $90,000 a year. Her husband's failing business was netting $15,000 a year. $105,000 income a year, even in this area, is normally more than sufficient to make the mortgage payments on a modest $150,000 house.
So what was the problem? The problem was the expenses of the 3 kids. When I rolled up my sleeves and looked at all their assets and debts, one thing stood out. The credit card debt. Trips all over the country. The trips were all due to nurturing the talents of one of their kids, a talented young athlete in her chosen sport. Tens of thousands of dollars on air fare, hotels and restaurants. Why was this money spent? Read the posts in this thread and you will have your answer. Raw, blind, irrational emotion and loyalty, and a warped sense of duty to the child. These people were out of touch with financial realities.
When I sat down and talked to the clients it was clear that their sense of financial responsibility was deluded. They were living in a fantasyland. They had filed a past bankruptcy, fortunately for them more than 7 years old, due to the same irresponsible pattern of behavior. Everything I saw them spending money on was what I would call a discretionary expense. They didn't see it that way. There was no discretion involved because it was their kid. And they brought them such joy!
I have seen so many client profiles like this that after a certain time I just came to understand it's a form of delusional behavior that has no official name. I know it when I see it because I see it a lot in my business. But my job is not to judge them. It's to help clean up the fucking mess. And I do my job. Yet it puzzles me because it's objectively illogical and irrational behavior which afflicts many people. I see many of the same statements made in posts in this thread coming from clients when I sit down to discuss and analyze their financial wreckage. Sad. It does help keep me in business, so keep those delusions coming!!!
While much energy has been devoted to discussing costs of daycare, there are a lot of hidden costs with children. One is the cost of nurturing talent when the child displays some. Let me explain. Since I get to see the devastation first hand in foreclosure cases.
Had a foreclosure defense a few years ago. Client was a married woman working as a bookkeeper for a small company and pulling in $90,000 a year. Her husband's failing business was netting $15,000 a year. $105,000 income a year, even in this area, is normally more than sufficient to make the mortgage payments on a modest $150,000 house.
So what was the problem? The problem was the expenses of the 3 kids. When I rolled up my sleeves and looked at all their assets and debts, one thing stood out. The credit card debt. Trips all over the country. The trips were all due to nurturing the talents of one of their kids, a talented young athlete in her chosen sport. Tens of thousands of dollars on air fare, hotels and restaurants. Why was this money spent? Read the posts in this thread and you will have your answer. Raw, blind, irrational emotion and loyalty, and a warped sense of duty to the child. These people were out of touch with financial realities.
When I sat down and talked to the clients it was clear that their sense of financial responsibility was deluded. They were living in a fantasyland. They had filed a past bankruptcy, fortunately for them more than 7 years old, due to the same irresponsible pattern of behavior. Everything I saw them spending money on was what I would call a discretionary expense. They didn't see it that way. There was no discretion involved because it was their kid. And they brought them such joy!
I have seen so many client profiles like this that after a certain time I just came to understand it's a form of delusional behavior that has no official name. I know it when I see it because I see it a lot in my business. But my job is not to judge them. It's to help clean up the fucking mess. And I do my job. Yet it puzzles me because it's objectively illogical and irrational behavior which afflicts many people. I see many of the same statements made in posts in this thread coming from clients when I sit down to discuss and analyze their financial wreckage. Sad. It does help keep me in business, so keep those delusions coming!!!
Somewhat related to my last post, one of my coworkers and her husband dropped a large sum of money on their daughter who was a decent local athlete in two sports. She happened to play sports that get awarded a college scholarship and they saw a chance to get rid of a $200,000 college tuition bill looming in the horizon. They nurtured the hobby and had the girl play AAU tournaments and traveled to Florida, Pennsylvania and Texas for her AAU tournaments. Large sums of money were dropped. Colleges started calling and expressing interest, mostly smaller schools. They could see tuition relief coming in a possible scholarship offer.
Then a funny thing happened. The girl became a high school senior, started dating some dude, and lost all interest in both sports. First she dropped one, then the other, and she called the colleges and said thanks but no thanks, I am not playing.
So what happened? Now she is in college, her parents are paying $200,000 in college tuition and they eat the costs of all those AAU trips.
As far as women's sports go, other than UConn's women's basketball team which plays at a very high level every year, I can't watch them. I may watch Beach Volleyball if one of the women is hot but that is more for sexual reasons. But these helicopter parents watch their kids like the Black Hawk helicopters that swooped down on Osama Bin Laden and his goons.
Then a funny thing happened. The girl became a high school senior, started dating some dude, and lost all interest in both sports. First she dropped one, then the other, and she called the colleges and said thanks but no thanks, I am not playing.
So what happened? Now she is in college, her parents are paying $200,000 in college tuition and they eat the costs of all those AAU trips.
As far as women's sports go, other than UConn's women's basketball team which plays at a very high level every year, I can't watch them. I may watch Beach Volleyball if one of the women is hot but that is more for sexual reasons. But these helicopter parents watch their kids like the Black Hawk helicopters that swooped down on Osama Bin Laden and his goons.
At least half of us were 'accidents' so... just go with the flow.
As for age... I'd say to wait until at least 23.
I mean even though I am single I have not been hobbying in a while because I found a woman who... I don't know... just does it for me sexually and socially and so I do not even pull out. Maybe I'll be a father soon enough and I'm alright with that.
So, no exact 'age' I guess... you just find the woman that you're like... ''if she got pregnant, I'm fine with it''.
If you're worried about her getting pregnant or timing that pull-out there is a reason... DO NOT get her preggers!
As for age... I'd say to wait until at least 23.
I mean even though I am single I have not been hobbying in a while because I found a woman who... I don't know... just does it for me sexually and socially and so I do not even pull out. Maybe I'll be a father soon enough and I'm alright with that.
So, no exact 'age' I guess... you just find the woman that you're like... ''if she got pregnant, I'm fine with it''.
If you're worried about her getting pregnant or timing that pull-out there is a reason... DO NOT get her preggers!
Do not wait too long to have kids, my son was born when I was 36 and my daughter at 43. I wish it would have been 15 yrs earlier.
Also to note, some people mature faster than others, some of my friends kids have children and and they should not, not ready yet as they say.
Live life first, see the world a little, live a little.
Live life first, see the world a little, live a little.
I have a blast with my friend's five year old grandson.
We have a lot of fun at the playground, he gets me to climb on monkey bars and zip lines, not easy at 60!!!
He wants to be a fireman, he loves climbing all over everything. It's exhausting keeping up with him.
He is a handful though, I don't think I would have been a good father. It takes a lot of patience.
Wait until you have partied and done whatever you want to do. " Sow your wild oats "
If you want to see Paris, go see Paris. Don't have kids and then wish you hadn't because you can't do things you wanted to.
Those parents end up resenting their kids and it is not fair.
But do not wait until you are too old. You want to be healthy and fit enough to do things with your kids.
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