This past weekend was a great experience for me in terms of meeting some new friends, but as far as my hobbying activities were concerned, it was the most bizarre and comical weekend I have ever experienced in Montreal. Over the course of three days of hobbying, I had a personal record seven (7) cancellations of dates with SPs, including four (4) cancellations in one day! However, I am posting here to tell the story of a date that actually happened, which turned out to be the most bizarre encounter I have ever had with an escort, or am likely to ever have, even if I continue to hobby for the next 40 years. I am not going to reveal the name of the SP or the agency involved, because the owner has personally apologized to me and promised to make amends, which I accepted, and I really have no desire to stigmatize either the SP or the agency involved. I am telling this story for its pure entertainment value. You may not believe it, but if the following is not true, then Fred Zed and Tom should award me with the Pulitzer Prize for hobbyist fiction. This is straight out of Seinfeld!
The SP in question arrived very late in the evening of a day on which I had already had, as noted above, an incredible four cancellations (before she arrived my money seemed to be burning a hole on the desk, and I seriously wondered whether anyone wanted to take my money!) As I greeted her, I observed that she looked good. She had a cute face with a wee bit too much makeup, and packed a few extra pounds in the midsection, but her overall shape looked good. The date started with me offering her some wine, which was accepted. She quickly dispensed with my attempts at conversation and indicated a desire to get down to business, which was fine with me because at that point I was in dire need of female nurturing. I started with an attempt at DFK, which was refused (LFK only). Things then proceeded to the bed where clothes were rapidly discarded, and I made my usual preemptive DATY strike. This was also refused, politely, with the statement that “I think that is a really bad idea.” As things turned out, she was 100% correct, and this cryptic statement would prove to be a harbinger of things to come.
I was then treated to a good with lots of eye contact, and this continued to completion at my request. I then asked to receive a massage, and the SP obliged. With me laying face down on the bed, she sat on top of me and began a very satisfying back massage, starting at my neck and working her way down. Suddenly, about 10 minutes into the massage, as she was moving lower towards my ass, she began shrieking “Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and jumped off of me. She again shrieked “Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I turned around and looked at her, and her face was filled with horror, like she had just seen a cadaver or a monster. At this point, I had no idea what was going on and did not feel any pain, although it seemed like I should have. Then she said to me, excitedly: “You need to get in the shower right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I then gazed at the bedsheets and saw blood, and it finally dawned on me what had happened.
THE SP HAD MENSTRUATED ALL OVER MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We then both proceeded rapidly into the bathroom, and jumped into the shower. She washed off my bloodsoiled back, and then lathered me up with soap. She apologized repeatedly. At this point I was kind of in shock but also kind of thinking that this was funny. The SP then called her agency, advised them that she had her period and told them to cancel the rest of her dates for the evening. She left shortly thereafter. As I went back to the bedroom, I noticed that the sheets on one side of my king sized bed had been bloodied.
After this incident occurred, I met up with Doc Holliday, Special K, Stripper Lover, AlexK, TriDan and Maxxwell (all great guys, by the ways) at a certain Crescent Street watering hole. They were already there, and they already knew I had a date and who I was seeing, so they asked me how it went. When I told them the condensed version of this story, there were some roars of laughter, and an absolutely bewildered look on the face of Stripper Lover, which I don’t think I will soon forget. I think Stripper Lover thought I was pulling his chain in the manner of Le Cock Sportif. However, there was no chain pulling. The above is a 100% true story.
Unbelievably, it gets even better than this. There were incidents at the hotel immediately before and after the SP left, involving 3rd parties and hotel staff, but I am not at liberty to disclose the details because that would potentially identify me to the hotel staff. Suffice it to say that these incidents were also somewhat comical and bizarre. The whole evening was something out of the Hobbyist Twilight Zone!
Hopefully the next trip will go a little better. As for my thought on girls working while having their period, I am going to reserve that for another thread.
The SP in question arrived very late in the evening of a day on which I had already had, as noted above, an incredible four cancellations (before she arrived my money seemed to be burning a hole on the desk, and I seriously wondered whether anyone wanted to take my money!) As I greeted her, I observed that she looked good. She had a cute face with a wee bit too much makeup, and packed a few extra pounds in the midsection, but her overall shape looked good. The date started with me offering her some wine, which was accepted. She quickly dispensed with my attempts at conversation and indicated a desire to get down to business, which was fine with me because at that point I was in dire need of female nurturing. I started with an attempt at DFK, which was refused (LFK only). Things then proceeded to the bed where clothes were rapidly discarded, and I made my usual preemptive DATY strike. This was also refused, politely, with the statement that “I think that is a really bad idea.” As things turned out, she was 100% correct, and this cryptic statement would prove to be a harbinger of things to come.
I was then treated to a good with lots of eye contact, and this continued to completion at my request. I then asked to receive a massage, and the SP obliged. With me laying face down on the bed, she sat on top of me and began a very satisfying back massage, starting at my neck and working her way down. Suddenly, about 10 minutes into the massage, as she was moving lower towards my ass, she began shrieking “Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and jumped off of me. She again shrieked “Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I turned around and looked at her, and her face was filled with horror, like she had just seen a cadaver or a monster. At this point, I had no idea what was going on and did not feel any pain, although it seemed like I should have. Then she said to me, excitedly: “You need to get in the shower right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I then gazed at the bedsheets and saw blood, and it finally dawned on me what had happened.
THE SP HAD MENSTRUATED ALL OVER MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We then both proceeded rapidly into the bathroom, and jumped into the shower. She washed off my bloodsoiled back, and then lathered me up with soap. She apologized repeatedly. At this point I was kind of in shock but also kind of thinking that this was funny. The SP then called her agency, advised them that she had her period and told them to cancel the rest of her dates for the evening. She left shortly thereafter. As I went back to the bedroom, I noticed that the sheets on one side of my king sized bed had been bloodied.
After this incident occurred, I met up with Doc Holliday, Special K, Stripper Lover, AlexK, TriDan and Maxxwell (all great guys, by the ways) at a certain Crescent Street watering hole. They were already there, and they already knew I had a date and who I was seeing, so they asked me how it went. When I told them the condensed version of this story, there were some roars of laughter, and an absolutely bewildered look on the face of Stripper Lover, which I don’t think I will soon forget. I think Stripper Lover thought I was pulling his chain in the manner of Le Cock Sportif. However, there was no chain pulling. The above is a 100% true story.
Unbelievably, it gets even better than this. There were incidents at the hotel immediately before and after the SP left, involving 3rd parties and hotel staff, but I am not at liberty to disclose the details because that would potentially identify me to the hotel staff. Suffice it to say that these incidents were also somewhat comical and bizarre. The whole evening was something out of the Hobbyist Twilight Zone!
Hopefully the next trip will go a little better. As for my thought on girls working while having their period, I am going to reserve that for another thread.
