Question for the ladies: Sex with your loved ones

[curly]

I am in a relationship with a woman who has started escorting a few months ago. I am really not the jealous type, so this is not what this is about. And it goes both ways: she wouldn't mind at all if I saw other girls provided she remains my favorite, which she is! So this is not a jealousy story here.

As a preamble, I should add that I know very well that sex can be fun and fulfilling, but that after a while we get tired of it. Like after you've had sex 4 -6 time in a day, you have your shot, for example.

So my question for you ladies is: how is sex with your loved ones? She keeps telling me it's different, that there is love and affection when we have sex, but I cannot help feeling like a number on her list, one more man she must keep satisfied. And that is the aspect that makes me feel uncomfortable. Get me right here, she does all the right things, gives me no indication whatsoever that she is tired or bored or that I am forcing her into something she is tired of doing. But a good skilled escort also does not give you that impression as well.... And before anyone asks the question, there is no exchange of money between us.

So I know it's all in my head, and we have a tight, intimate relationship where we tell each other the real things.

But I don't like to feel like a number... am I a number for her? How is it for you ladies, sincerely?

 

[Flyingby]

All in your head. But make sure YOU satisfy her. From what i read on merb. All guys here make these girls come at least 2 or 3 times minimum per session. So she will be orgasmed out at the end of the day

 

[jalimon]

Except me and you fly so curly's sp girlfriend should only see us!

Curly it's in your head. Do not worry about it.

And you know just like with any gf the sex will die down with time so better have it while it last!... In french it's the MMS theory.

At first it's... matin-midi-soir
after a while it's... mardi mercredi samedi
then after 2-3 years it's... mars mai septembre
And then it becomes Mes Meilleurs Souvenirs ...

Cheers,

 

[Flyingby]

.. In french it's the MMS theory.

At first it's... matin-midi-soir
after a while it's... mardi mercredi samedi
then after 2-3 years it's... mars mai septembre
And then it becomes Mes Meilleurs Souvenirs ...

Cheers,

And then. Ma main seulement. Hahahahaha

 

[MrProfiteroles]

And then. Ma main seulement. Hahahahaha

ound: I leave you Curly's SP girlfriend guys! I have already too many SPs texting and booking me to take good care of them!

 

[jalimon]

And then. Ma main seulement. Hahahahaha

Haha and after another few year of this you get a bit more money and then the fun begins because as it's then Meaghan, Maude and Sonia haha

Cheers,

 

[curly]

Thanks guys, but what do the ladies think? Or is it too delicate to ask?

 

[Flyingby]

Thanks guys, but what do the ladies think? Or is it too delicate to ask?

I don’t think the ladies will answer you. Ask a psychologist. Or don’t stress over it. The relationship will probably be over in a year anyway

 

[curly]

I don’t think the ladies will answer you. Ask a psychologist. Or don’t stress over it. The relationship will probably be over in a year anyway

You seem to know a lot about what the ladies will decide to do and about my relationship. Very insightful.

 

[EdaBlackwood]

You say you arent jealous but you are insecure, you highlight that several times by saying you feel like a number. And then you are projecting those feelings of insecurity onto her. If you want to actually end up being just another number you are headed in the right direction because she will eventually come to resent you for being repeatedly insecure when she has tried to calm your nerves about this.

When I have a civilian partner it is much different than when I have clients. With a civilian I would rather go eat PiriPiri iinstead of being taken out to fancy places. I would rather play video games than talk about their "frigid" wives. The people I have dated since becoming an escort have all had the exact same reaction at first as you Curly. However the ones that have lasted and become something meaningful were the ones who trusted me when I said "trust me it is much different". You have an actualy tangible relationship with her, therefor you cannot actually be just another number. You are processing sex the way men view sex, as stats, conquerability, women dont see sex that way. I can fuck anything that twitches if it has a wallet and a base personality, but I dont ***care*** about clients on the same level that I would care a partner. We actually care about our partners outside of a contractual 2hr booking. etc.

 

[Flyingby]

You seem to know a lot about what the ladies will decide to do and about my relationship. Very insightful.

I don’t and won’t pretend to. But it’s not a her problem. It’s a you and your insecurities problem. You need other ladies to reassure your manlihood when the one woman that matters has already taken steps to reassure you. But yet that is not enough

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

My thanks to all the ladies who replied. :clap2:

 

[cloudsurf]

During my dating years after my divorce......I dated 2 women who I found out had sugar daddies.

When I found out I wasn`t upset or jealous, on the contrary. I was amused and happy with the fact that I was getting it for free while others were paying for it.

I didn`t find out about their extra curricular activities until we`d had several dates and the only thing that changed was that the sex got even better.

 

[jalimon]

Yep indeed thanks Eda!

The problem is as old as the earth. Girls want tall strong men that make them feel secure. Men want girl that are their little princess... Their trophy. Hence the easy path to jealousy towards any other men your girl may look at...

Curly you are way beyond typical alpha male by accepting that your gf is escorting. You simply need the extra step to completely separate the jealousy of her having sex with others and concentrate on your own pleasure with her.

I so much wish my ex would have accepted open relationship... I would probably still be with her today is she had...

My 2 cents

 

[ShyMan]

Thank you for sharing your wonderful insights, Eda.

Thank you for starting this thread, curly. Remember, love cannot be bought. Sex can be bought. And if you receive love and sex from the same person, you have someone who is very special and you should consider yourself lucky. Live the moment and let the mutual love develop. We all have our own insecurities but must learn to deal with them, whether solely or together with our partner (her).

And on today's Remembrance Day, love without judgment because that's what our soldiers did for all of us -- they scarified so we all may have love (and sex) forever.

Jalimon, always the learned master of the universe.

 

[EdaBlackwood]

*** I do want to point out, because my first post sounded rather clinical and dismissive : We do care about our clients, but it is an entirely different way. I do care about how the world has been treating my guests... But if we are dating someone it could be said that how the every day affects our lovers hearts affects our hearts as well. And that is entirely different from just being aware and sympathetic of what goes on in our clients lives.

 

[curly]

Indeed thanks Eda.

Maybe I should explain myself better. Yes, indeed, we go eat PiriPiri and play bowling! We have a very good chemistry and have a great time together. And that I am absolutely certain she does not get from her clients and that she adores it. So this has much less to do with insecurities or jalousie, and more with my will to make her feel good and happy.

Let me try to find an analogy, and before you say anything I know it is flawed like every analogy. But let's say you like oatmeal! You could eat it four times a day, you still love it! And you go out and you get oatmeal a lot. But when you've had oatmeal a lot and you come back home, you may wish something else. But of course, after a few days without oatmeal you are starving for it. So I guess my question is: does sex with your loved ones feel like oatmeal again, or does it feel like a good spaghetti (for those who like it! lol!).

When I say I don't like to feel like a number, it's not about my own feeling. My side of sex feels great! lol! What I mean is I wish that for her it does not feel like oatmeal yet again and I'm trying to know if there is anything I should/could do to make this feel good for her. I'm just that type of person, I do care for others.

 

[ShyMan]

Curly, it sounds like you are seeking affirmation more than projecting insecurities. It takes a real man to love a sex worker. Dude, if she didn't care for you and your "heart", she wouldn't bother being with you.

I'd say what you have is Captain Crunch cereals with berries and chocolates. Oatmeal is so boring -- but needed to stay regular

Regardless, as Eda clarified, your special friend cares about your heart. As Russell Peters said in many of his skids, "BE A MAN". I'd say be the man and person that you really are and your love with her and for her will only grow deeper and stronger. Now go enjoy today's Montreal sunny weather.

 

[MattMiller]

Curly, you are focusing on the wrong thing: the sex. On that score, you seem no different from your significant other's (SO) clients.
But:
1) Your SO does not demand money from you for sex.
2) You write that "we [you and your SO] tell each other the real things". Does your SO does the same thing with her clients? No, she presumably does not! In other words, your SO is not just sexually intimate with you, but there is also emotional and intellectual intimacy in your relationship with her.
Ergo: The sex with your SO may seem to you similar or very similar to the sex she has with her clients. But your relationship with her is different from the relationships she has with her clients. The sex you have with your SO is embedded in very different relationship, and that is what makes it different. During the sex you have with her, you can't perceive, from the outside, that the sex is different, but you should be knowing that, it should be in your head, because of 1) and 2).

The answer I just gave you is based on signalling theory:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_(economics)

You are asking: Am I just another number for her (your SO)? To answer that, you look for the signals that would allow you to infer the answer one way or the other. And by signals I mean behavior, not words. Talk is cheap. That is to say, it's often pretty worthless in inferring somebody's state of mind because "the right talk" can so easily be faked. It's much more revealing when people walk the walk than when they talk the talk, as we say in English:
https://www.knowyourphrase.com/talk-the-talk

What I mean is I wish that for her it does not feel like oatmeal yet again and I'm trying to know if there is anything I should/could do to make this feel good for her.

I've heard that some sex workers separate client sex from sex with their lover by not engaging in certain sex acts with clients, but engaging in them with their lover. For the sex work, this can be problematic because it may shrink the client base (if, say, she will provide DFK to the lover only). I suspect that sex with you means something different for your SO than sex with a client. You can't perceive this difference in meaning (because it's in her head). You just have to take her word for it. You have to trust her on that score. But this seems a very reasonable thing to do given that your sex with her is embedded in a relationship that's different from the sex worker-client relationship.

 

[curly]

Curly, it sounds like you are seeking affirmation more than projecting insecurities. It takes a real man to love a sex worker.

What I'm seeking is an answer to the question I asked. Not a psychiatrist or a sanctimonious.