She is not a nun that you have to tip toe around a simple request like lingerie and high heels is quite normal and not out of the ordinary.The request wasn’t outrageous but some people don’t like being asked. She has said it was a turn off for her to be asked so what you requested doesn’t seem to be the problem here.
You can try starting with “do you accept outfit requests?” and then proceed with your request.
I enjoy outfit requests but only when it’s something simple like can you wear a dress. If it’s “can you wear a tight short red dress” it’s not as fun because I don’t own that specific colour, style or maybe it’s in the laundry. It will also lowkey make me feel like if I don’t show up with the exact dress the person won’t have as much fun.
She can simply answer that she is uncomfortable in it or it hurts her feet whatever.
If she gets her nose out of joint for a simple request like that you are much better off not seeing someone with a Princess attitude like that.
If she can’t handle something as simple as that without being rude and insulting then she should be in a different line of work.
Respect and being polite works both ways and seeing a rude entitled SP is not in your best interest.
There are much better ones out there.