The Nature of Emotional Intimacy in the Long-Term Relationships of Clients with Sex Workers. A Complicated Question. [Research Summary]

[merbuser1221]

I'm not saying this doesn't happen. I've become friends with 3 clients, but that's all. I think some providers have looser boundaries (and I'm not saying that in a pejorative way, they can do whatever they want) or they are more isolated and end up hanging out with their clients. Some also may be doing things because they think that's how they keep specific clients...

Are you actually friends with them though?

As in, you'd hang out with them and you'd receive zero money, nothing, nada

And some clients will let you know that this is what they're looking for. These aren't the "fly me to you" "dinner date" type of clients tho. They are men who are really attached to the idea that they will genuinely become close to the escorts they book and have a special place in their lives that other clients don't have, and they will subtly tell you they want this "exclusive access" to you. I've experienced it. I'm not saying they are bad people, but it puts some of us in weird positions. Particularly if we appreciate them on some level.

Yeah, the thing is that there are a lot of guys who will do all sorts of things when it comes to getting pussy

Stuff that makes no logical sense, there will be guys who do it

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Are you actually friends with them though?

As in, you'd hang out with them and you'd receive zero money, nothing, nada

Yeah, the thing is that there are a lot of guys who will do all sorts of things when it comes to getting pussy

Stuff that makes no logical sense, there will be guys who do it

Yes the clients I'm mentioning that I became friends with are no longer clients. They don't pay me. There's actually a client I became friends with who stays at my place when he's in Montreal. I sometimes buy him dinner lol. I offered that to a 4th person who actually refused it because he felt rejected which made me really sad.

The thing that was particular about these clients is that I immediately recognized them as potential friends. It wasn't something that was built over time and that could be weird and ambiguous. I only saw these clients once and chose to be their friends. I'm still friends with all 3 of them to this day.

But after certain experiences, I've decided that I won't do this again, particularly under certain circumstances. There are clients that I appreciate but I can't offer them this type of friendship without boundaries and without compensation, for several reasons.

Camaraderie and getting to know each other happens between clients and providers.. I would even go as far as saying that this is a positive thing. But if the client starts expecting your real name, freebies, meeting your friends... Idk what else. It's a problem.

Are there clients I'll still talk to occasionally when I fully retire or maybe even hang out with from time to time? Maybe. There's a few that I would but if I feel like it could cause harm to either people's mental health or cause conflicts it's not a good idea.

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Yes there are many illogical things guys will do to get pussy but that's not even what I'm talking about because these men have already paid for sex. "Getting pussy" is also not what this thread is about.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

"Grown in importance" not "new". The contrast was with street prostitution, where the emotional aspects were minimal or absent from the transaction.

To answer your question directly: yes they have :

I think it's really hard to tell if it's grown in importance or not because brothels and independent courtisans have always existed, it's just that laws changed many times. The culture as well.

I also think that because of popular culture, we have this idea that street prostitution was the only thing before when that's not the case. It's just that now, with the internet being accessible, sex workers have more options and are able to present themselves in different ways... But street prostitution, "quickie" massage parlours etc still exist.

Hell... Even with street prostitution. What is the movie "Pretty Woman" about? lol