What are your tricks to not get caugth by your wife?

[The Wizard of Oz]

Hello Mister Master Hobbiest!
Please tell everyone what are your tricks to not get caugth by wives!
Who knows, maybe you will corrupt some lurkers ...

Enjoye this one and have fun fun fun !!!!!!!!!!

 

[sybaritic]

Lying

Lying, being dishonest, and not telling the truth. Then covering it up, dissembling, and equivocating.

But all for a good reason....

 

[Uncle Kracker]

Please tell everyone what are your tricks to not get caugth by wives!

It's really easy... Don't get married.

Feeble attempt at humor... I suck with no coffee.

 

[antlerman]

well

Always looked surprisedand shoked...then dey...deny...deny...!!!!!!!

 

[slashmtl]

First look them in the eye and then say using your best southern accent: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman".

Should work.

 

[StripperLover]

In order to not get caught at something, one must be aware of the methods or tricks that are put in place to trip you up.

The marking of one of your pair of socks is a good way to know if you have had the need, in the middle of the day, to switch the marked sock from one foot to the other. Don't take your socks off or take note where that nail polish ahs been painted on.

 

[spin]

Please tell everyone what are your tricks to not get caugth by wives!

Well first step...Ooops hang on a minute I got caught and I'm divorced, OK here is what not to do.

Don't take a woman (other than your wife) on vacation to Mexico with you, if you do Don't let your wife know what travel agent you used, if she finds out Don't let the girl you brought with you sleep on the side of the bed that the telephone is on, if she insists (because she can "only" sleep on the left side) Don't forget to unplug the telephone!

Everyone clear so far... Cool a few more Dont's:

Dont sleep with a girl who works in a club or restaurant that you may one day end up going to with your wife.

Don't forget to bring an extra shirt in your car if you plan on going home after your encounter - parfume lingers, shower and change your shirt.

Don't give them any of your phone #'s - No good can come from this trust me.

Don't think your wife is an idiot - Most of them are smarter than us.

Spin

 

[mrten]

In order to not get caught at something, one must be aware of the methods or tricks that are put in place to trip you up.

The marking of one of your pair of socks is a good way to know if you have had the need, in the middle of the day, to switch the marked sock from one foot to the other. Don't take your socks off or take note where that nail polish ahs been painted on.

And here I thought that she marked R & L on each so that I would know which foot that thay went on. Silly me, I should have known when helped me take off my shoes each night. lol

 

[sybaritic]

In order to not get caught at something, one must be aware of the methods or tricks that are put in place to trip you up.

The marking of one of your pair of socks is a good way to know if you have had the need, in the middle of the day, to switch the marked sock from one foot to the other. Don't take your socks off or take note where that nail polish ahs been painted on.

I went to the gym today, dear. Of course I took a shower!

 

[The Wizard of Oz]

In order to not get caught at something, one must be aware of the methods or tricks that are put in place to trip you up.

The marking of one of your pair of socks is a good way to know if you have had the need, in the middle of the day, to switch the marked sock from one foot to the other. Don't take your socks off or take note where that nail polish ahs been painted on.

Wow this is one I wouldn't think about it!
You made me this time SL!
Very clever!!! But only one thing, you use nail polish???

 

[spin]

Hilarious!

Sounds like you speaking from experience

Well Mr. Prime Minister, experience in getting caught is one thing I have a lot of sir.

 

[AquaVulva Man]

Be upfront and let them know you'll be seeing escorts. It's best if you do this before you get married, but it's never too late to discuss this with them.

Women appreciate honesty in men.

 

[Porter]

Why deny anything. Invite her along, let her explore her sexuality.

2 is always better than one

 

[Best Lover]

In order to not get caught at something, one must be aware of the methods or tricks that are put in place to trip you up.

The marking of one of your pair of socks is a good way to know if you have had the need, in the middle of the day, to switch the marked sock from one foot to the other. Don't take your socks off or take note where that nail polish ahs been painted on.

WOW!! Never would have thought of that one. You are good. Thank God I am single because I would surely be caught by someone like you.

 

[The Wizard of Oz]

About phones!

If your wife calls you and you answer ... while your not alone:

- never be in an hurry to hang up;
- stay away from the SP phone;
- unhook the motel phone (if you are in one and not suppose to be);
- before hanging up, don't be TOO nice.

Obviously, if that day happens, don't bring back flowers!

 

[nacho]

Hobby out of town

If it flies, floats or fucks-it's cheaper to lease. SP's, MP's and strippers that may cost more in the short term will save a boat load in the long run. Girlfriends, while usually hornier and more sexual than wives will turn on you if the relationship goes too long or gets sour. I've seen too many guys get hosed by a girlfriend who "anonomously" tipped a wife to the cheating. Get's real ugly real fast. Never promise a girlfriend that you will dump wifey for her unless you mean it. Therefore, if you have the luxury, hobby out of town. Work, and golf trips usually work the best for me. Here's the One axiom I live by> Never ever, ever tell your wife/girlfriend you fucked around to ease your pain or guilt. Take it to your grave. She will not, repeat WILL NOT, forgive you and say how can I be a better wife and lover so you will want to stay home. SHE WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL. If you feel guilty over what you did, too fucking bad, shut up about it. So don't tell your wife, mom,dad,sister or anybody who's wife knows you or your wife, they don't care either; it's not their problem and they may figure "she has the need to know" SHUT THE FUCK UP.

 

[nacho]

One other thing

Learn how to dump the history of the web sites you have visited, It saves embarassing questions like: "honey what's MERB and why have you been looking at it?"

 

[AquaVulva Man]

If she has a good nose, fill up your car with gas on the way home.
Then "accidently" splash some on yourself, it will put any bloodhound off the scent.

 

[Best Lover]

If it flies, floats or fucks-it's cheaper to lease.

How Funny!

But very true. I have to remember this quote/advice.

I finally decided to get into this hobby a few years ago when I realized it is less expensive than dating or marriage/divorce.

 

[mrten]

I was at a hotel reception desk once and the receptionist was on the phone with an irate wife demanding to speak with her husband. It seems that he had called his wife from the hotel room and she had either pressed *69 or she had call display and found out that he was at the hotel. Listening to the wife yell on the phone and the receptionist trying to explain that she didn't know what room he was in was funny. I mean, how can you be so stupid. Anyways, I'm sure that the shit hit the fan that night.
So remember gentlemen...............