What is the best way to handle the "donation"

[Regular Guy]

Ok but how is one supposed to stop her if she decides to take off with the money before the session ends?

If she really wants to leave with your money, there is not much you can do...

But the same goes if at the end of the session, the man simply decides not to pay the SP...

Yes if you are caught off guard and she gets to the door I suppose your opportunity to discuss the issue just took a wrong turn. Might be an idea to sit right with her when she checks out the envelope. If alarm bells are going off in your head about the girl then maybe gently take the envelope back after she checks it and put it on the table. Beyond that just how silly can this get as to the point of the transaction where one doesn't have the psychological imperative for possession of the goods any longer. Depends on how far you want to push it I guess. And that will vary from person to person.

 

[z/m(Ret)]

We need a trust fund for SP's...

 

[YouVantOption]

Donation?

If you think calling it that means you'd avoid a prostitution bust, think again.

 

[korbel]

In all the years, I've only once been asked to pay up front. I understand that there are some untrustworthy dudes out there, but being asked up front does blow the mood. That said, I unquestioningly did as she asked. It sort of blew the mood, but only temporarily.

As for where she counts it and if she does so at all, that's her business, not mine. More often than not, my dates have simply taken the stack and put it away uncounted, but I certainly am not offended when they count it.

To my mind, the best and most respectful way to do it is to turn away slightly and count it somewhat out of view.

Hello La Femme,

I don't mind being asked to pay up front. Given the conditions of uncertainty I can't blame the lady for wanting to cover herself. However, This doesn't happen to me much, and when it does it seems like nearly everyone who has asked right away did not provide a good encounter. Somehow too much immediate focus on the money coincides with a average to poor meeting. I am not sure why this is so, but it is.

Generally, I leave cash or an envelope right out where it can be seen in the correct amount of course. She shes it or seems to, then relaxes reassured it is there. The encounter goes forward with no mention of money. Many times the lady cleans up and lets me know she has to go. She comes out and says goodbye and I direct her to the donation or hand it to her. Then she counts it in front of me. Nearly always I have added a tip. It seems that in the best encounters the lady never mentions the donation at all. I simply make sure she gets what she came for...though sometimes we both nearly forget about it altogether. I don't know why THAT happens either.

Cheerio,

Korbel

 

[La Femme]

If you think calling it that means you'd avoid a prostitution bust, think again.

I don't think that.

I just find the word "donation" more elegant than "rates" or "fees".

 

[La Femme]

Hello La Femme,

I don't mind being asked to pay up front. Given the conditions of uncertainty I can't blame the lady for wanting to cover herself. However, This doesn't happen to me much, and when it does it seems like nearly everyone who has asked right away did not provide a good encounter. Somehow too much immediate focus on the money coincides with a average to poor meeting. I am not sure why this is so, but it is.

Generally, I leave cash or an envelope right out where it can be seen in the correct amount of course. She shes it or seems to, then relaxes reassured it is there. The encounter goes forward with no mention of money. Many times the lady cleans up and lets me know she has to go. She comes out and says goodbye and I direct her to the donation or hand it to her. Then she counts it in front of me. Nearly always I have added a tip. It seems that in the best encounters the lady never mentions the donation at all. I simply make sure she gets what she came for...though sometimes we both nearly forget about it altogether. I don't know why THAT happens either.

Cheerio,

Korbel

Thanks for your input.

First off, I need to say that I don't have much experience so maybe my opinion is not relevant but...

I personaly don't see how it would help me to relax to see the donation ready on the night table, for example. If I'm meeting someone I've seen previously : ok, it would be a nice way of handling the money. But if I'm seeing a man for the first time, how do I know he will let me take the enveloppe at the end of the encounter?

I heard too many bad stories. I don't think I would feel at ease with a new client unless I take the money upfront and put it in my purse.

 

[z/m(Ret)]

I don't think that.

I just find the word "donation" more elegant than "rates" or "fees".

If it's a donation then paying SP's for their services is an option.

 

[La Femme]

If it's a donation then paying SP's for their services is an option.

Yes, technically, you're right.

But don't you think that words like rates and fees are a bit tacky?

 

[korbel]

Thanks for your input.

First off, I need to say that I don't have much experience so maybe my opinion is not relevant but...

I personaly don't see how it would help me to relax to see the donation ready on the night table, for example. If I'm meeting someone I've seen previously : ok, it would be a nice way of handling the money. But if I'm seeing a man for the first time, how do I know he will let me take the enveloppe at the end of the encounter?

I heard too many bad stories. I don't think I would feel at ease with a new client unless I take the money upfront and put it in my purse.

Hello La Femme,

As I said: there is nothing wrong with asking for it and counting it right away. I have read some bad stories and I think the lady ought to cover herself this way. So I say just do what you must, when you meet someone for the first time at least. It's a sensible way to get "the task" over and done with. But, somehow most SPs I have met just don't do things that way, and wait until the very last second. Maybe I just have a very trustworthy face...!

Good luck,

Korbel

 

[YouVantOption]

Cut me off a slice

I don't think that.

I just find the word "donation" more elegant than "rates" or "fees".

Indeed it is, but since it isn't a donation* how about one of these? I like chunk, personally, but I think 'consideration' is probably the word you are looking for.

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/fee

account, ante*, bill, bite*, chunk*, commission, compensation, consideration, cost, cut*, emolument, end*, expense, gravy*, handle, hire, honorarium, house*, juice*, pay, payment, percentage, piece*, price, rake-off*, recompense, remuneration, reward, salary, share, slice*, stipend, take*, take-in*, toll, wage

* http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/donation

 

[La Femme]

Indeed it is, but since it isn't a donation* how about one of these? I like chunk, personally, but I think 'consideration' is probably the word you are looking for.

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/fee

account, ante*, bill, bite*, chunk*, commission, compensation, consideration, cost, cut*, emolument, end*, expense, gravy*, handle, hire, honorarium, house*, juice*, pay, payment, percentage, piece*, price, rake-off*, recompense, remuneration, reward, salary, share, slice*, stipend, take*, take-in*, toll, wage

* http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/donation

You think?

Maybe my english is not good enough but "consideration" sounds weird to me in that context. I'll look into it. I'd be glad to find a term more relevant than donation!

 

[z/m(Ret)]

Yes, technically, you're right.

But don't you think that words like rates and fees are a bit tacky?

No.

Correct me if I am wrong but isn't calling the few a "donation" (also very common in California) a way to attempt evading taxes ?

Dunno. I'll write 'donation" on my next tax report. Worth the try.

 

[jacep]

My personal preference is that business is taken care of at the end. I always leave the donation envelope in plain sight. However, either at the beginning or at the end, it doesn't really spoil the mood for me since I know that the lady wants to make sure that she doesn't get ripped off.

When business is taken care of, whether it is at the beginning or the end, I prefer that the lady counts the money in front of me. A few of the ladies have picked up the envelope at the end just as they go to the shower at the end of the encounter to count it in the privacy of the washroom. This makes me somewhat uncomfortable.

I always count the money a few times before the encounter (& placing it in the envelope) and it has only happened to me once where the lady disputed the amount in the envelope. Because of this negative experience, I have sometimes told the lady to count the money in front of me. When the lady counts the money in private or leaves my hotelroom without counting the money, if she disputes the amount, I won't know where the mistake happened.

There was one SP that I've seen numerous times who just took the envelope as she was leaving my hotelroom (after her shower and getting dressed) and she didn't count it in front of me. Even though I counted the money about 3 times before the encounter and placing it in the envelope, it still made me uncomfortable when she did this. On a subsequent meeting that I had with this lady, after the shower, as she was getting dressed, I grabbed the donation envelope from the table and gave it to her and told her explicitely to verify that everything was okay before leaving. She laughed and verified it and said it was fine.

The only time that I don't feel comfortable with taking care of business at the beginning is for overnight encounters or longer encounters. For the 3 overnights that I've had with 3 different ladies, none of them have objected to taking care of business at the end. The donation envelope was always in plain sight.

The first overnight lady did not make any mention of the donation envelope throughout the encounter. The second overnight asked if we could take care of business at the beginning (we always took care of business at the beginning so it was not an "unusual" request) and I told her that because of the amount of money involved, I preferred taking care of it at the end but she was free to verify the money in the envelope before getting started. She didn't verify the envelope at the beginning. If she did, it wouldn't have ruined the mood for me.

With the third overnight lady, she didn't ask about the donation. I told her up front that even though I didn't have a preference when it came to taking care of business (we took care of business at the beginning the first time but for the other 3 or 4 meetings we had met, she always conducted business at the end), because of the amount of money involved, I didn't feel comfortable taking care of business at the beginning. Since we were going out of the hotelroom, I informed her that I didn't have a problem paying for the amount of time used when we left the hotelroom. However, when we actually left the hotelroom and grabbed the donation envelope because I didn't want to leave it in plain sight, I motioned to grab some of the money and asked her whether she wanted a partial payment (for the amount of time already used), she told me that we could take care of business at the end. At the end of this overnight encounter, as she was getting ready to leave, I forgot that I had hid the donation envelope because I didn't want to leave it in plain sight and she felt that it wasn't a good idea to take all the money with me when we left the hotelroom in case I lost it, I remembered before she asked me. When I went to get the envelope and gave it to her, she asked me if she could count it in front of me and I told her that she could and I also mentioned that I separated/grouped the money so she could easily count it. Because she was in a rush to leave because her parking was not paid for, instead of counting all of it (because over 70% of the bills were 20's), she just quickly verified the "groupings" and said that everything was fine.

Another time that I had an issue with giving the entire amount of the donation up front is when I'm not sure how long the encounter will be. For my 2nd or 3rd meeting with Tamara (SexyTamara) where when I made the appointment, I told her that we would meet for 3 hours with the possibility of a 4th hour. She asked for the money up front in the prior encounters so during this encounter when she asked for it at the beginning, I informed her that I would only pay for 3 hours at the beginning because of the uncertainty of the 4th hour. I informed her that before starting the 4th hour, I didn't have a problem paying up front and would pay up front for the 4th hour. She didn't have an issue with this when I actually extended the meeting. In fact, she thought it was somewhat funny when close to the end of the 3rd hour, I went into my pants to get the money for the 4th hour and asked her to stay an extra hour.

The only real issue that I have with taking care of business at the beginning is if the encounter is shortened by whatever reason, it can be difficult to get your money back which is why for long (overnight/trip) encounters or when the timeframe is not firmly set, I feel uncomfortable with taking care of business at the beginning.

 

[La Femme]

jimace, interesting post!

I agree with almost everything you say. It makes perfect sense.

But remember that on the SP point of view, 12 hours is also a long time to spend with someone if at the end, you will get riped off. What I am saying is that, for an overnight, you have a lot to lose by giving the money at the beginning of the date but the lady also has a lot to lose by accepting it only at the end! You know what I mean?

But of course, it's different when it's someone you already know, as it was the case with the 3 overnights you had. There is already a level of trust or at least there should be.

I guess eventhough we like to handle things a certain way, sometimes you just go with what feels right at the moment.

 

[Tracy]

After working for so long in the biz, I think that the way the girls handle the donation depends on their experience level.
At the begining I never asked for cash up front. After getting screwed 2 times, I started to ask for cash every single time at the very begining and almost to a point of paranoia. It was ok like this, but regulars were wondering why I did not trust them.
Then I decided with people who do have a good history with me, why bother? they would not want to screw me over.... well, that backfired too.
Now, I have just learned a better judgement of caracter. Being indy, the girl gets to talk to you before the encounter. I feel that they should specify that the donation should be ready and waiting in plain view (either in an envelope or not...) when they get there. When clients respect this with me I may or may not count the cash upfront. If the person has a nevervous feeling to them, I may count it at the beginning. If the person seems very trust worthy, then I wait to the end. If the money is not waiting for me in view when I get there, then I bluntly ask to arrange finances before anything begins because I know I have already stated to the person on my website that I do not like to do that. (If it bothers the person that I asked, then well, they should have done the first step to every encounter...)
On the other hand when I was working for random agencies, I ALWAYS asked for the money first if the person did not have the sense to have it out and waiting. I am being told by some one to collect a specific amount from some one, I make sure that I do. Being that the vast majority of agencies charge so much per call. I would advise all agency girls to deal with the money first. if it so happens that th client does not pay, the girl gets berated for not collecting at the beginning of the date and then has to pay back the agency out of her pocket (most times).
I am sorry to say this, but to the people it offends or bothers, please realise that this world is not full of trustworhty poeple or else this discussion would not be taking place. If you feel that you are one of the trust worhty people and that we should trust you with out knowing you, well then please prove it to the girl by respecting agency and/or indy request sof having the money ready.
I have never been to an agency that did not specify to have the money at the beginning. So, that made me realise why I got screwed and apon returing indy, i have always made sure that the money was there so that I could focus on my date and actually be able to enjoy myself rathe than worry the whole time.

 

[jacep]

Même si le client et l'escorte se sont rencontrés une couple de fois, vaut mieux rester sur ses gardes quand même. J'ai déjà entendu parler d'une escorte qui avait rencontrée un client une couple de fois et un moment donné, il est parti sans payer pendant qu'elle était sous la douche et en plus il lui avait volé quelque chose.

Yes, I agree with you 100% which is why even though I wouldn't rip off anyone (including a SP), I think that both SPs and clients always have to remain "on guard" regardless of the number of times they've actually met.

I saw a SP over 10 times before never seeing her again because during my final encounter with her, she stole from me (well, actually, she stole a few of the hotel items from the washroom after freshening up before leaving). She never contacted me after doing this and I never contacted her again. Most of the items added together would have cost under $40 (2 towels, Spa soaps, conditioners, shampoos, showercap, coffee, etc.). They were offered by the hotel for free (with the exception of the towels) but I would have appreciated being asked for the items as opposed to her just taking them. I didn't discover that the items were missing until I went to take my shower.

Whenever I take care of business at the beginning, I'm more cautious of things like where she left her purse/bag/clothes and whether while going to the washroom, she could quickly make an exit since all the hotels (or at least all the ones that I've stayed at) have the washrooms right near the exit.

 

[anon_vlad]

I dislike paying at the beginning as an SP who is unenthusiastic about her encounter with me will be even less inclined to make an effort once she has the money. Also, it doesn't make sense to tip in advance and I can't think of a non-tacky way to mention that I will tip for outstanding service. Another problem is that if I pay in the beginning and then request some extra service (e.g. anal, CIM etc.) I suppose we have to stop and settle for that in advance also.

However, any time I give anyone money for any reason whatsoever, I insist on the recipient counting it in front of me as either of us can make an honest mistake.

 

[jacep]

jimace, interesting post!

I agree with almost everything you say. It makes perfect sense.

But remember that on the SP point of view, 12 hours is also a long time to spend with someone if at the end, you will get riped off. What I am saying is that, for an overnight, you have a lot to lose by giving the money at the beginning of the date but the lady also has a lot to lose by accepting it only at the end! You know what I mean?

But of course, it's different when it's someone you already know, as it was the case with the 3 overnights you had. There is already a level of trust or at least there should be.

I guess eventhough we like to handle things a certain way, sometimes you just go with what feels right at the moment.

Yes, I understand the view of SPs with respect to the donations. For overnights (12 or 13 hours) is a lot of time and no one likes to be ripped off. The money was always in plain sight. I was always in a hotelroom and not a motel. When a clients' clothes and suitcases are in the hotelroom, doing a cash-dash is somewhat (or very) unlikely. This is why I mentioned to the 2nd lady that if she wanted to inspect the money before starting, I wouldn't have an issue with it or if she wanted partial payments at various times during the encounter, I wouldn't have any issues with that either when she asked me for the donation up front (like she normally does).

Because of what was said by the second SP, a week later when I spoke with the third SP about an overnight appointment, I mentioned the donation aspect immediately in the phone conversation. With the 2nd SP, we always conducted business at the beginning so I didn't find it to be all that unusual and it didn't turn me off. With the 3rd SP, after the first meeting, she asked me when I preferred business to be conducted and when I mentioned that I didn't care but preferred it to be conducted at the end, for the 3 or 4 subsequent 3-4 hour encounters, we always concluded business at the end.

With the 3rd SP, she didn't seem to have an issue with what I mentioned on the phone but mentioned that she would want to make sure that everything was okay before starting. When she actually entered the hotelroom and looked around (since it was a somewhat nice hotelroom), she noticed the donation envelope at the usual place but did not ask to inspect it. We just started the encounter (talking and drinking) before the bedroom action and before heading out of the hotelroom. When I grabbed the donation envelope as we were leaving the hotelroom and mentioned that I didn't want to leave the money in the hotelroom in plain sight and unattended, I asked her if she wanted a partial payment for the time already used and she informed me that we could do it at the end.

When I placed the donation envelope in my pocket, she mentioned that it might not be a good idea in case I lost it (or maybe got robbed although I feel that Montreal is a safe city). She told me that I should hide it in the hotelroom. What I found funny was when I went to look for a place to put it, she told me that she would turn around as to not see where it was. I then laughed and said that I didn't really care if she saw it or not because she was going to be with me the entire time. Since she was doing the driving when we went out of the hotelroom, I think that she felt a bit more at ease when we separated twice (she went to the washroom for a somewhat long time during dessert and after eating, I asked her if she wouldn't mind bringing the car to the front of the restaurant while I took care of the bill).

For overnights (or longer appointments), there does have to be a level of trust. The SP has to trust that the client won't try anything (run off or BBFS) and the client has to trust that the SP won't try anything either (rob him).

With the 2nd SP, I've seen her a little over 10 times and with the 3rd SP, I've seen her about 5 times before suggesting/asking about an overnight so there was a level of trust.

 

[infanticide]

I always leave the donation on the table next to the bed closest to the door fanned out so it can be counted by eyeballing it. If I was paying in all 20's I'd expect it to be counted in front of me, because that's a lot of bills.

 

[naughtylady]

I really like this thread. It is nice to know that most gents prefer that I count the cash in front of them.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady