Who do you attract the most?

[Kaleb]

When I get on dating apps, I rarely get fwb interest but it's usually by very forward BBWs.
For long term commitments it is usually shy women at least 4in and/or 50lbs smaller than me.

When I'm in strip clubs I often get better service by black women.

Usually younger than me or the same age.

 

[MCTJ]

My colleagues, because I don't date and I don't go out except for essentials and the occasional coffee shop.

I said no twice because my mental health is too poor for a relationship.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Cute artsy guys, eternal teenagers in their 40s and 50s (who can also be cute artsy guys), shy nerds, bisexual men, femme lesbians, trans girls (who are often femme lesbians) lol

I was gonna type ''people with an avoidant attachment style'' but it's kinda dark hehe

 

[Lunaseraphim]

My colleagues, because I don't date and I don't go out except for essentials and the occasional coffee shop.

I said no twice because my mental health is too poor for a relationship.

I attract my colleagues too

 

[michaelduni]

Early on, I was intensely focused on my academics and career, and always worried about getting distracted. And it was always surprising to me when a colleague or a fellow student expressed interest. Since I did not go to bars or other places where I could meet women, the only folks I attracted were my colleagues and folks who were also nerdy like me. Since my chosen profession is male dominated, there were few opportunities.

Later, as I switched gears to becoming fit, dressing better, and other personality improvements, I have occasionally attracted attention from causal interactions, but I am till today very surprised when someone finds me attractive. The last time was at a bar with a lady who I thought was completely out of my league made the first move, and it ended being a wonderful evening. I think people perhaps find my ability to carry a conversation & humor an attractive quality. Having discovered the magic of beautiful women a bit later in life, I am even more grateful.

 

[MCTJ]

Early on, I was intensely focused on my academics and career, and always worried about getting distracted. And it was always surprising to me when a colleague or a fellow student expressed interest. Since I did not go to bars or other places where I could meet women, the only folks I attracted were my colleagues and folks who were also nerdy like me. Since my chosen profession is male dominated, there were few opportunities.

Later, as I switched gears to becoming fit, dressing better, and other personality improvements, I have occasionally attracted attention from causal interactions, but I am till today very surprised when someone finds me attractive. The last time was at a bar with a lady who I thought was completely out of my league made the first move, and it ended being a wonderful evening. I think people perhaps find my ability to carry a conversation & humor an attractive quality. Having discovered the magic of beautiful women a bit later in life, I am even more grateful.

I can relate to this even if I'm probably younger. I mentioned in another post how the impact of childhood bullying on self-esteem can be devastating and long-lasting. Add that to that an anxiety disorder and other mental health challenges and you get the picture. I never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl in my life outside of transactional dating even though I am far from unattractive and I have a high IQ. I got attached to an escort whom I like, but who has dark personality traits. At this point I'm not even trying to enter a relationship. I'm just trying to be content with what I have in life. I know I will probably be lonely all my life, but at least I have a purpose in life which I accomplish through my job. Feel free to react with your sad emoji.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

It’s been asked many times who you were usually attracted to but what about the reverse situation? When men or women approach you or like you back on dating apps, what ethnicity/race are they?

Beyond that, what kind of people do you seem to attract?

Been considering this question for way too long. My clients look very different than the people hitting on me at clubs/gas stations and my FWBs. The only real crossover is that an alarming number of them are in IT.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Been considering this question for way too long. My clients look very different than the people hitting on me at clubs/gas stations and my FWBs. The only real crossover is that an alarming number of them are in IT.

I attract the same type of people as a SP and in my real life, but there are some people who book me as a SP that I would have never imagined would be interested in me.

 

[Julia Sky]

there are some people who book me as a SP that I would have never imagined would be interested in me.

I can relate to this! And when they book me again I'm always so surprised lol

 

[Nachoy]

One time a ex-SP was attracted to me
Didn’t know she had a past when I was initially dating her.
This was when I was really young and dating civies at the time and had only 2 serious relationship at that point of my life and had never ever visited a SP
This woman was very good in bed ( had feeling she was more experienced sexually than most) and we got along well.
Slowly over several months she disclosed her past I think it’s cause I’m very open minded and nonjudgmental so she felt like she could trust me.

 

[tifoso2002]

Not many or anyone worthwhile ... why i'm hobbying lol

 

[Jordd]

Although I once dated a woman who was the best sexual partner I ever had (better than any SP or MP lady I've ever come across) but she was a 1/10 on the sanity / normalcy scale

Par for the course

 

[Jordd]

Cheery, slightly chunky, short Asian girls. Nothing wrong with that, could be worse, but it's kind of tiresome.

White-but-not-white tomboys (Middle easterners: Arabs, Jews, Turks; Anglo-passing Latins; non-colonial power Europeans with Asian interests; third-culture kids) lacking father figures.

Oh and straight-passing gay men with yellow fever, but that's neither here nor there.

Whaaaat!??

 

[maymay]

When I get on dating apps, I rarely get fwb interest but it's usually by very forward BBWs.
For long term commitments it is usually shy women at least 4in and/or 50lbs smaller than me.

When I'm in strip clubs I often get better service by black women.

Usually younger than me or the same age.

dating apps are a huge waste of time, I can't believe people at my job are still going on those apps, they go on dates and come back deceived every time, men and women. There is a younger women at work who is 30 she went on dates, then said all men she meets want an open relationship, this is really scary like commitment is a thing of the past.

I tried online dating last month was on for about 1 month on plenty of fish did not pay, i got a few emails, weird ones, a women asked me if i was really 48? i said what, do you think i would fake my age? she said i looked younger... wow. But everything else was a waste of time, you start chatting and boom you get ghosted, online dating is simply not a serious place its more a popularity contest.

 

[CLOUD 500]

dating apps are a huge waste of time, I can't believe people at my job are still going on those apps, they go on dates and come back deceived every time, men and women. There is a younger women at work who is 30 she went on dates, then said all men she meets want an open relationship, this is really scary like commitment is a thing of the past.

I tried online dating last month was on for about 1 month on plenty of fish did not pay, i got a few emails, weird ones, a women asked me if i was really 48? i said what, do you think i would fake my age? she said i looked younger... wow. But everything else was a waste of time, you start chatting and boom you get ghosted, online dating is simply not a serious place its more a popularity contest.

Dating apps work for some men, the ones with above average looks and those who are over six foot tall. The problem is the dating scene is so strongly in favor of women especially the ones in their 20s. Women get hundreds of messages while men are lucky to get even one. Dating apps reinforces the superficial nature of dating. It all comes down to looks, you got nothing else to work with on those apps..

 

[Lunaseraphim]

dating apps are a huge waste of time, I can't believe people at my job are still going on those apps, they go on dates and come back deceived every time, men and women. There is a younger women at work who is 30 she went on dates, then said all men she meets want an open relationship, this is really scary like commitment is a thing of the past.

I tried online dating last month was on for about 1 month on plenty of fish did not pay, i got a few emails, weird ones, a women asked me if i was really 48? i said what, do you think i would fake my age? she said i looked younger... wow. But everything else was a waste of time, you start chatting and boom you get ghosted, online dating is simply not a serious place its more a popularity contest.

Dating apps are designed to make money and when you think about it if people actually find a partner through it, they won't be using the apps anymore. Hook up culture is definitely made worse by apps and people treating each other as disposable.. Most women I know have similar experiences on apps, with people of both genders. I don't think everyone is like that but I do think people who use apps are either having difficulty meeting someone for various reasons, or they just want short term relationships and hook ups, and they are not necessarily honest. It's so weird I matched with so many people on apps during the pandemic but almost met none of them.

Dating apps work for some men, the ones with above average looks and those who are over six foot tall. The problem is the dating scene is so strongly in favor of women especially the ones in their 20s. Women get hundreds of messages while men are lucky to get even one. Dating apps reinforces the superficial nature of dating. It all comes down to looks, you got nothing else to work with on those apps..

While I agree that women do get more matches, really often they end up being played by people who aren't serious about dating and don't know what they want. It's advantageous if you just want to hook up with a bunch of people, but if you want to have a serious connection it isn't great.. One thing I've also noticed is that a lot of people don't put any effort into creating their profiles on apps or they straight up lie about what they want... The way these apps are designed, particularly now that you have to pay for a lot of advantages, does create a superficial and in my opinion kinda toxic dating culture..

A lot of my clients treat me a lot better than many people I've dated in the past few years and met on apps (aside from someone I was in a serious relationship with) ...

 

[maymay]

Dating apps work for some men, the ones with above average looks and those who are over six foot tall. The problem is the dating scene is so strongly in favor of women especially the ones in their 20s. Women get hundreds of messages while men are lucky to get even one. Dating apps reinforces the superficial nature of dating. It all comes down to looks, you got nothing else to work with on those apps..

In reality 80% of people if not more are very average looking, when I walk the street of Montreal I don't see Brad pitt or george clooney look a like, most people are average looking at best. Of course the younger crowd do look better, but they are young, when you are pushing 50 its not the same thing. I am a far cry of looking like i did when i was 20 years old full head of hair etc.

A friend at work does photography as a hobby, he saw my pictures and said they are not that good, we could go to a park and other places and take really good pictures of myself. After all when i go out with friends ( at my age its once in a while like 1 time per month if i am lucky) i do get approach by women and they are younger and most of they look really good. But after that small stint online and waste of time, message going cold, etc I decided not to go back online.

After all how can you start a serious relationship when your profile is written if you are not 6 feet, you have a gut, blading, missing teeth, and if you have long hair and tattoos you score extra points. For me it makes no sense at all and i would never message a women who write this in her profile.

 

[maymay]

Dating apps are designed to make money and when you think about it if people actually find a partner through it, they won't be using the apps anymore. Hook up culture is definitely made worse by apps and people treating each other as disposable.. Most women I know have similar experiences on apps, with people of both genders. I don't think everyone is like that but I do think people who use apps are either having difficulty meeting someone for various reasons, or they just want short term relationships and hook ups, and they are not necessarily honest. It's so weird I matched with so many people on apps during the pandemic but almost met none of them.

While I agree that women do get more matches, really often they end up being played by people who aren't serious about dating and don't know what they want. It's advantageous if you just want to hook up with a bunch of people, but if you want to have a serious connection it isn't great.. One thing I've also noticed is that a lot of people don't put any effort into creating their profiles on apps or they straight up lie about what they want... The way these apps are designed, particularly now that you have to pay for a lot of advantages, does create a superficial and in my opinion kinda toxic dating culture..

A lot of my clients treat me a lot better than many people I've dated in the past few years and met on apps (aside from someone I was in a serious relationship with) ...

Yes some people are mean online but some people are also mean in the real world they tend to say anything that goes through there minds, a women at my job lost 50 pounds she is putting the work and i encourage her, but a guy at my job who is far from being a looker told her she was still fat. This is how stupid some people are.

But lets face it online even if you write a good profile and do everything right, if you are not attractive you won't receive any messages and replies to the ones you send. Sadly as you get older most of the time you do not have a social circle like you did younger. So meeting someone is a lot harder, Facebook friends and other people won't help you to get matched either, I had lots of Facebook friends with single friends and they never offered to match me. Not wanting to be mean but on POF the time i was there i received my weekly matches and i was not attracted to any of those women. The gym forget it i got at around 1-2am since i am a shift worker. So at a certain age if you want to meet your only option is online dating.

This is why i notice a lot of single people at work men and women stay single, some of them lost houses, have alimony to pay etc, and they had enough. I guess it all depends and the type of person you are, I feel bad for the 30y old women at work she goes online on dates and always come back deceived, she seems to be emotionally dependent. While other people I know are not and able to stay single.

It doesn't help that everything we are expose to is fake, Instagram, surgeries, all those reality tv shows that everyone cheats on everyone, people on tv and movies are prefect, male and female model that have looks you will never achieve without surgery or drugs, etc.

Social media destroyed a lot of things, i had met a couple once who detailed there love life on Facebook everything was so prefect and yet they kept cheating on each other. Its not because people are on social media laughing and having fun (they want to project this to other people) that they are happy in life.

 

[observer29]

I'm a 32 year old dude who looks significantly younger, and I tend to attract much younger women in the 22-26 age range. Generally women of color as I am a poc, but regularly white chick's as well. My friends think I'm nuts for wanting to settle down now when I'm on fire with the ladies. It's hard to find an appropriate partner when you are dating that much younger, though.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Yes some people are mean online but some people are also mean in the real world they tend to say anything that goes through there minds, a women at my job lost 50 pounds she is putting the work and i encourage her, but a guy at my job who is far from being a looker told her she was still fat. This is how stupid some people are.

But lets face it online even if you write a good profile and do everything right, if you are not attractive you won't receive any messages and replies to the ones you send. Sadly as you get older most of the time you do not have a social circle like you did younger. So meeting someone is a lot harder, Facebook friends and other people won't help you to get matched either, I had lots of Facebook friends with single friends and they never offered to match me. Not wanting to be mean but on POF the time i was there i received my weekly matches and i was not attracted to any of those women. The gym forget it i got at around 1-2am since i am a shift worker. So at a certain age if you want to meet your only option is online dating.

This is why i notice a lot of single people at work men and women stay single, some of them lost houses, have alimony to pay etc, and they had enough. I guess it all depends and the type of person you are, I feel bad for the 30y old women at work she goes online on dates and always come back deceived, she seems to be emotionally dependent. While other people I know are not and able to stay single.

It doesn't help that everything we are expose to is fake, Instagram, surgeries, all those reality tv shows that everyone cheats on everyone, people on tv and movies are prefect, male and female model that have looks you will never achieve without surgery or drugs, etc.

Social media destroyed a lot of things, i had met a couple once who detailed there love life on Facebook everything was so prefect and yet they kept cheating on each other. Its not because people are on social media laughing and having fun (they want to project this to other people) that they are happy in life.

I understand what you're saying and I agree.. social media sucks