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Would you trust me as "Merb's voice" in the open?

Halloween Mike

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Apr 19, 2009
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Ok first of all i am still unsure if ill do it because even in my situation it means a lot. So consider this "testing the water"

But i want your opinion as in would you guys trust me to represent you guys in medias? Like not merb per say as an entity of course but clients overall.

I wanted for a long time to give my version on the business but i never pulled the trigger. Im thinking maybe Sonia Von Sacher's podcast (if she want to have me) or similar outlets. Maybe even more mainstream but i doubt they would give me a voice.

Lots of you know me. I been around a while..

I don't have much to "lose" like im single, my familly and friends know i do it... It could close some doors for "the futur" but im 40+ now...

Like im not a young guy...

Give me your opinions ...
 

redfried

Active Member
Feb 10, 2019
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Si tu choisis d'y aller prends soin de t'adresser à quelqu'un qui va te laisser parler et pas chercher à éditer ton contenu. En effet, avec Sonia von Sacher tu auras certainement le moyen de t'exprimer.
 
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GreyPilgrim

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Feb 8, 2004
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If you’re planning to fully go public, I think you’ll come away sorely disappointed.

No one who doesn’t already know wants to hear that the vast majority of clients are reasonable, well-adjusted and otherwise law-abiding citizens. Whatever your message, they’ll edit the crap out of it and stick to making you look like a creep, an incel, a pervert or all three.

Besides, I agree with TheJames101: the less attention drawn to this community, the better. Despite all the gripes, the drama and the bitching, I still think we got a pretty good thing going on here. And I do hope I’m wrong, but I feel like we are still light years away from the general public getting that stick out of their butt and being ready to openly discuss sex work.

Until we reach that point, nothing good can come from attracting the public eye over here.

But that’s just me. You do you, sir.
 

Fradi

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Apr 9, 2019
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I think the media will make mince meat out of you and make you the poster boy for why prostitution should be stamped out and why men are all predators and the women are victims.
You have good intentions but this will probably not go the way you intend.

I think GreyPilgrim is correct, the media will make you out to be a total creep and a pervert because that is what sells and not the truth.
 

Halloween Mike

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I seen a lot of positive from some escorts that could go public and i only seen a few rare clients and i think (with all modesty) i do have a decent story to tell.

I do think a positive outlet toward sexwork would be better(like Fille de Joie) . But at the same time i wish some positive would be shown in mainstream media too. Maybe a "Benoit Dutrizak" would not be 100% against it?

I would like to ear from the escorts on the board

@Lunaseraphim
@LC18
@Julia Sky
@Christina Di Milano
@Sexy Judy
@JennyLove

And everyone else. Sorry can't tag everome but you all welcomed to let me know.

@Sonia.von.Sacher herself ! Curious.

If you think its a disaster waiting to happen its ok to too.

I never pretended to be the sharpest pen in the box. Lol
 

Halloween Mike

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I think the media will make mince meat out of you and make you the poster boy for why prostitution should be stamped out and why men are all predators and the women are victims.
You have good intentions but this will probably not go the way you intend.

I think GreyPilgrim is correct, the media will make you out to be a total creep and a pervert because that is what sells and not the truth.
Thx for being honest on this.
 

S.S neo

Well-Known Member
Apr 28, 2007
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The timing might not be the best. Especially with the last episode of Radio Canada « Enquete » talking about horrible things that happened to girls working in agencies. Even if you are going on a show with a white hat ethical customer, mainstream media will make you look like a sexual predator. We’ll always be on the wrong side of the fence no matter what.
 

urquell

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Feb 24, 2013
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Unless you have a very specific goal that you think you can achieve by doing it then I'd say forget it and put aside the idea. What is it that you hope to achieve by speaking in public and what is the audience you expect to target? If you can't specifically articulate that then you shouldn't even consider it. If you can and have a plan then by all means do so. Consider that the media will not likely give you a fair shake and that it may put a target on your back. I would invite you to look up Cubadave Strecker. He decided that he wanted to be the public face of mongers down south, spoke up about his experiences and aspects of the business and it earned him ridicule and a prison sentence. The cases and the background are not identical, and neither is the subject material exactly (beyond being related to the sex industry) , but the aspects of being a public facing person extolling the virtues of the business are similar and nothing good came of it.

This is a discreet business, and is generally better for the people who move within if the light doesn't shine too brightly on what people in it do. The news is transient and the article will be quickly forgotten, as would any contribution to it. The consequences, however, need not vanish quickly and may very well be permanent. No one can or should decide what's the best course for you to follow except you, but I would urge you to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish and where it could lead you before you make any decision to go public.
 

Christina Di Milano

VOTED #1 BEST INDY SP OF THE YEAR 2025
Supporting Member
I’ve been reading everyone’s comments, and I think this conversation is exactly why I’ve decided to create Red Carpet Montréal 2027.


There’s a much bigger purpose behind this event than simply bringing people together for an elegant evening.


After spending so many years in this industry, I’ve come to understand something that I wish more people outside our community understood.


This industry is not simply about sex. It’s about human connection.


Sometimes it’s companionship. Sometimes it’s affection, conversation, intimacy, or simply having someone make you feel appreciated for a few hours. People have different reasons for seeking these experiences, and I don’t believe anyone should automatically be judged for them.


There are gentlemen who understand discretion, respect, boundaries, and the importance of treating a woman with dignity. There are independent women who take enormous pride in their work, their professionalism, and the experiences they provide.


Those are the people and values I want to bring together.


Regarding the recent Enquête report, I have mixed feelings.


I’ve been in this industry long enough to have seen many different sides of it, and my personal experiences haven’t reflected everything being portrayed. That doesn’t mean these situations don’t happen. It means I would like to understand the complete facts before forming an opinion or condemning anyone.


I’m not here to defend any particular agency, and I’m certainly not here to excuse exploitation, coercion, or mistreatment.


If women are being abused or exploited, they deserve to be heard, protected, and taken seriously. Period.


But I also believe there’s an important distinction between exploitation and consenting adults who independently choose to participate in this industry.


Working through an agency doesn’t automatically mean someone is being exploited, just as working independently doesn’t guarantee that someone is safe.


Some women prefer agencies because they don’t want to handle advertising, scheduling, screening, or administration. Others, like myself, prefer managing their own businesses.


Neither choice should automatically define someone’s character or experience.


What matters is how women are treated, whether their choices and boundaries are respected, and whether appropriate safety measures exist.


I also believe agencies have a responsibility to establish proper screening, verify identities and legal eligibility, provide guidance to newcomers, and make sure women understand their rights and can refuse situations without pressure.


Experience and mentorship can make a tremendous difference.


Now, regarding the idea of speaking publicly, I understand the concerns expressed here.


The media can absolutely influence public perception, and not always fairly. A complicated industry can quickly be reduced to a sensational headline.


But I also wonder what happens when the only stories the public hears are the worst ones.


Where are the stories about the women who have built successful independent businesses? The gentlemen who have always behaved respectfully? The people who have found genuine companionship, confidence, or comfort through these experiences?


Those stories exist too.


And they deserve to be acknowledged.


That doesn’t mean everyone needs to reveal their identity, appear on television, or sacrifice their privacy to make a difference.


In fact, I believe discretion should remain one of the foundations of our community.


And that brings me back to Red Carpet Montréal 2027.


I’m creating this event to bring together the ladies and gentlemen of MERB, TERB, and PERB in an environment built around mutual respect, discretion, safety, and unity.


Not to expose anyone.


Not to create controversy.


Not to defend everything that happens in this industry.


But to encourage meaningful conversations between people who actually understand it.


I would love to see experienced independents supporting newcomers, gentlemen sharing constructive perspectives, and women from different communities exchanging knowledge about safety, boundaries, and professionalism.


I would also love to see more solidarity instead of division.


Because whether someone works independently or through an agency, every woman deserves to feel safe, respected, and in control of her own decisions.


And gentlemen who conduct themselves respectfully shouldn’t automatically be portrayed as predators simply because they seek companionship.


I believe we can acknowledge the problems that exist without pretending those problems represent everyone.


To Halloween Mike, I appreciate your willingness to bring forward a positive perspective. But I also understand why others are urging caution. Both perspectives deserve consideration.


If we want the public to understand this industry differently, we need to be thoughtful about how we approach that conversation, who participates, and what we’re trying to accomplish.


My next Self-Made blog will explain more about the vision behind Red Carpet Montréal 2027 and why this project means so much to me.


I’m not trying to put our community in the spotlight. I’m trying to bring our community together so that we can build something better from within.


Because discretion and dignity can coexist with unity.


And sometimes, real change doesn’t begin in front of a camera.


It begins when the right people finally sit down at the same table.


Christina Di Milano


The Art of Prestance
 

patrickcun

Active Member
Nov 2, 2013
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Mike, I don't know you, but I appreciate you here because your reviews are short and informative regarding the details—the "extras"—just the way I like them.
So, I’m taking the time to write this to you: I think you’re focusing a bit too much on the world of prostitution; you need to get your feet back on the ground. Here on Merb, everyone is engages in this hobby, but if you look at society as a whole, very few people see sex workers—maybe not even 5%.
Trying to promote this lifestyle will never work. Don't forget that those 23-year-old girls whose you come in their faces have mothers and fathers who would be disgusted to see their beloved daughters doing that. Just imagine it was your own daughter swallowing the semen of a couple of old guys every day, one after another.
The society dont want that.
No, don't do that; you'll come across as a pervert right off the bat.
 

Johnny test

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May 14, 2018
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First to answer your question, yes i would trust you to be that voice.
A lot have been said here and i kinda agree i don't see a situation where you would appear as a nice guy unfortunately, especially in this time and age. I don't believe in the conspiracy of the media, but it's a pretty hard sorry to sell.
Another thing that wasn't mentioned is that you'd probably have to have some contact with the owners of the forum, if it's not the case already.
 

johnsmith768

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Apr 20, 2023
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I have some limited experience dealing with journalists/media in something that was very low stakes. These people are vultures, they do not want to talk with you to learn about your experience. They come into any interaction with a narrative pre-set in their minds, and they will twist your words to make it fit in that box. In my personal case it was baffling to me, there was zero reason for them to benefit from lying but they did so anyways. In a situation like this they will make you look like that doctor if they think they can pull it off. They want nothing more then to have men they can put alongside a picture of the girls and go "wow can you believe she has to have sex with this guy."

A lot of people dont understand this but the media is a rigged game, they aren't interested in pursuing the truth they are here to push an agenda on the public. This is even more so the case when its coming from state media, people think that this story is being used to push for extra police resources but its actually the reverse; the government decided to invest police resources so they published this story to justify it. Its called "manufacturing consent," basically they want a sensationalist story so the general public can go "wow im sure glad the police are going after those creeps."

The last thing we need right now is more attention on this industry. Its bad enough that they seem to be doing multiple media pieces this week. If you go out there even on a friendly podcast, you are potentially giving them material to make another piece and stretch this out even further. This is a losing battle for us, very few people are sympathetic to prostitution and even fewer are willing to speak out in favor of it. I know its frustrating seeing all the lies being spewed, but you need to understand that if you speak out, they are just going to misrepresent you in the exact same way.

Let me give you an example of how they could respond if you went out and did this. I know basically nothing about you personally except that you did mention that you are in your 40s. Age gaps are something that rubs a lot of people the wrong way, so they could latch onto that aspect to make you look bad. They'll ignore any good points you make and just focus on the fact that these poor girls have to sleep with somebody decades older than them. Now do you see the problem here? When you said you were in your 40s you thought nothing of it, it was just a minor detail. Something that would slip out in conversation. But now you've given them ammunition to support their narrative. Its like how if youre arrested you should just shut up regardless of the circumstance because anything you say can and will be used against you.
 

Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
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Jul 18, 2024
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I have mixed feelings about this personally, not because of you specifically but because one client can't really represent everybody else. I do think we need more positive stories of clients who felt like sex workers brought a lot of good things to their lives. But I don't think the general public will be too keen on hearing about a review board where people are writing explicit things about escorts, rating their bodies, sometimes insulting them, etc. People who post on Merb frequently don't necessarily represent ''the average client''. Some people seem to be convinced that they do, because they have spent years dissecting different review boards and analyzing their users, also because some are self-centered and think that everybody is just like them. The truth is that even on this forum, there are very different types of clients who participate.

Personally I still feel like instead of going the ''extremely negative'' route or glamorizing the industry and saying everything is beautiful and perfect, a more realistic portrait of the industry and different facets needs to be painted. I have seen some pretty good movies and documentaries about sex work. I also think some people, like Sonia von sacher, are trying to be as positive as possible because they know that abolitionists just want to make the industry appear extremely dark and sordid so they are trying to bring some ''sunshine''. The thing is, this industry is extremely complex. I think most of us have had different experiences.. Most of us have clients we like, and clients we don't like. There are societal tendencies that end up being reflected directly in our industry too..

That's why I think just one person can't speak for everyone else. I think it would be cool if more people were outspoken about their experiences, and by that I don't just mean either trafficking victims or high end escorts.. there's a lot of people in between. I also think we always forget certain people when we talk about this. We don't talk about male escorts who service men. We rarely talk about trans women. When in fact those 2 demographics are huge parts of the sex industry.. The angle used to talk about the industry is really important in my opinion, and the people who we talk to as well. There are people who are experts, everyone who works for Stella and Piamp for instance. There are also people who did serious research about sex work, without an abolitionist angle and who have experience with the job.

I also do not trust journalists to talk about this in a respectful way lol unless they have proven their intentions.
 

Wildstar

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Jul 11, 2025
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Do you have any media communication training? Any experience in staying on message in the face of leading and hostile questions? Do you dress well/look presentable? Are you articulate under pressure? Are you familiar with all of your posts here? Given any thought on how you'd respond to your most cringeworthy posts quoted directly back to you? Like how you suggested agencies should casting couch the girls to smoke out undercover reporters in the Euphoria in the news thread? "Halloween Mike, you suggested that these poor girls who experience horrific abuse should be sexually exploited as a condition of employment, do you stand by that statement? Is that a common viewpoint on this MERB forum?" Ever say anything nice about Sam? Ready to answer for that and be linked to all the stuff that happened at XO? Ready to be the face of every bad thing in this report?

Have you thought through any of this?
 

Halloween Mike

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I read all your reply and it seem unanimous that it is not a good idea. I understand and respect this.

To answer Wildstar particulary, its true that some post should be badly interpreted and no i don't have any communication training. When i tought about that i was more thinking on how i was "an average joe" and not the doctor, lawyer and celebrities they talk about. Yes i am in my early 40s, but i been seeing escorts since i was 24 ... Would have younger if i found it before lol. I don't feel i changed much since my 20s. Well physically yes but i mean mentaly. Ill admit in my case i don't see the issue of a 40 years old client seeing a 26 years old escort... But its me. But yeah i would probably get beaten at the debate if the guy would be hostile.

And thanks especially also Christina for the detail reply. A lot of good points.
 
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4Beliveau4

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Sep 25, 2008
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I echo a lot of the sentiments shared here. I think a reason why this world still exists and is sustained is because it remains outside the mainstream so it doesn't have to adhere to modern mainstream rules and practices. A lot of it has to do with trust and respect and a lot of it still hinges on proverbial handshake agreements. That gives those involved a certain latitude to operate and forces each side to respect and consider each other otherwise it won't survive. There are bad apples and sure there is risk, on both sides, comes with the territory. I think mainstream society fixates on the extreme because it is easier to categorize it morally as good or bad and paint those involved with a particular brush, not realizing the nuances in between. That requires critical thought and who wants to do that?

I think what you want to do is admirable but in this context, silence is golden.
 
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