You’re most likely not the only one

[LC18]

If you were asking yourself something, you’re most likely not the only one so don’t hesitate to ask it publicly whether it’s by creating a new thread, using the Ask us anything thread or the 411 * section.

I started interacting on this board precisely because I saw a lot of interesting questions and no SP answering them but rather, clients answering with things they wouldn’t know. I didn’t want to be the only one answering because no one elected me to be the spokesperson of all SPs so I begged others to join and give their opinion

Do I agree with everything other SPs say here? No, of course not but I’m so happy they’re here because at least it gives another perspective to men and answers their great questions

Do I think some clients spread misinformation? Absolutely, but I still appreciate having them here especially when they’re being told off by other clients


* I put a link to the Montreal area 411 section but there are other 411 sections for other areas ❤️

 

[LeDodo]

We need a tag to send a notification to all Supporting members lol

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I wish more SP participated on this board personally, it often feels like just a few of us answering questions or explaining our side of things and our opinion, it feels like an echo chamber, and there's a lot of negativity. Most SP don't want to do this work (because yes it's a lot of unpaid labor to try to educate men here) and expose themselves to negative attention.. it's understandable honestly. I can tell a lot of men don't want us here lol

However I've received many inquiries and DM's from men who appreciate my contributions, and the presence of other colleagues as well. I also don't always agree or relate to what other providers are saying, but their experience is valuable. We can't expect everything to be 100% truthful because this is an advertising platform after all.. As much as I wish more colleagues contributed to the discussions, I don't know if Merb or any other review boards are good places to educate yourself on our reality, to be honest because this forum is centered around clients.

A friend of mine who has been an SP on and off since 2010 told me (ironically and as a joke) that it's a ''safe space'' for clients... As soon as we start criticizing the way certain things are done and making valid points about certain issues in the industry, people feel attacked and threatened and it's impossible to have a dialogue with people who aren't willing to question the way they do things and their perceptions... What I do appreciate is that there are lurkers who read us and appreciate what we have to say.. I've even had other SP message me to talk to me and thank me for being outspoken.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

We need a tag to send a notification to all Supporting members lol

Yeah sadly you can't force people to participate here. A lot of supporting members don't look at anything that's posted here because they hate it and don't want anything to do with it.

 

[LeDodo]

Yeah sadly you can't force people to participate here. A lot of supporting members don't look at anything that's posted here because they hate it and don't want anything to do with it.

Yup and as you pointed, it's work on their own time or they need to consider it as part of their work to spend time on the forum.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Yup and as you pointed, it's work on their own time or they need to consider it as part of their work to spend time on the forum.

It's not technically part of our work in my opinion and that time and although I do get rewards (more clients notice me) and silent recognition sometimes I get antagonized by people I've never met just for advocating for myself and my colleagues and I think my intentions get misunderstood. It happened to other colleagues who interact a lot here too.

I think the opinion of certain people is that by being vocal and advocating for ourselves we are terrorizing men and preventing them from being honest lol but in reality it's people who don't like us being here and who are extremely negative who terrorize clients and people don't want to write reviews anymore because other guys might make fun of them or bombard them with questions..

A lot of clients who find me here refuse to participate precisely because of that.. for the same reasons that escorts don't want to get involved tbh. I've had clients tell me that they got bullied and called names so they just removed themselves.

 

[Montrealdaddy52]

Je ne sais pas si le concept serait légalement possible mais je trouve qu'il me semble qu'un Fantasy Land comme à Tampa Bay ferait fureur à Montréal. Un sauna pour hétérosexuels serait sûrement un succès.

 

[Cheecho98]

I wish more SP participated on this board personally, it often feels like just a few of us answering questions or explaining our side of things and our opinion, it feels like an echo chamber, and there's a lot of negativity. Most SP don't want to do this work (because yes it's a lot of unpaid labor to try to educate men here) and expose themselves to negative attention.. it's understandable honestly. I can tell a lot of men don't want us here lol

Personally I appreciate that you and other SPs participate in the forum, otherwise it just feels like a big circle jerk with a bunch of other guys. It definitely makes things more interesting.

 

[LeDodo]

Personally I appreciate that you and other SPs participate in the forum, otherwise it just feels like a big circle jerk with a bunch of other guys. It definitely makes things more interesting.

Close to be part of a manosphere

 

[urquell]

The measure of the value of a forum is the sense of community and the willingness of the membership to be supportive, and to be helpful to others, in the pursuit of information while at the same time creating a sense of belonging and of companionship in an activity for which many people feel either isolated or ostracized. In forums like this the tawdry stereotypes can be set aside and people can work together to create a happier, safer and more companionable environment. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether there are SPs are not, or at least not only that. It has to do with the sum total of all the people on the board and their contributions and their degree of acceptance of others (including the SPs) . I have seen this over and over again on different boards with and without SPs participating. The people on MERB are fortunate enough that the SPs that do contribute here do so in a positive way with an overall net benefit to the general membership while they market themselves, instead of just relentlessly marketing themselves without an offsetting contribution, because that's not always the case. Having said that, SPs are generally either non-existent for all intents and purposes on most boards and there is a great big whopping difference between a gentlemen's board and a boys locker room The boys will behave well or behave badly depending on the culture of the board, and many people seem to have the impression that with no ladies present that it's just a giant spermfest of mysogyny everywhere, and that's simply not the case. All of this to say, as I usually do in the most verbose way possible, sorry, is that if you like the board then you can thank the SPs, because they deserve thanks, but you also need to give yourselves a big hand, because it's not just the SPs doing the heavy lifting, it's all the membership at large informing and supporting each other, creating a great community, and making the place worthwhile to visit, and you're likely not giving yourselves enough credit. So, somebody applaud for somebody somewhere. I forget where I was going with this. Squirrel!

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Personally I appreciate that you and other SPs participate in the forum, otherwise it just feels like a big circle jerk with a bunch of other guys. It definitely makes things more interesting.

For this participation to be productive, people have to be discussing in good faith. I find that a lot of people here assume what our motives and opinions are, and after you've been antagonized by someone it's hard to get them to hear you out. For instance, elsewhere on this forum, somebody was hinting that it may not be the healthiest thing for some clients to see escorts, ''but escorts here will surely disagree''. I felt like I was being baited into participating just for drama and entertainment lol which is something that happens a lot. (topics being brought up for controversy or to stir the pot) I wanted to say ''I actually don't disagree'' but I decided against it. I've been trying to limit my interactions here. It can be hard not to feel like you have to defend and overexplain everything, and it can get addictive to use forums like this. I thought the debate about XO would change things but alas, I was naive.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

Je ne sais pas si le concept serait légalement possible mais je trouve qu'il me semble qu'un Fantasy Land comme à Tampa Bay ferait fureur à Montréal. Un sauna pour hétérosexuels serait sûrement un succès.

Il y en avait une il n'y a pas si longtemps.

 

[Julia Sky]

For instance, elsewhere on this forum, somebody was hinting that it may not be the healthiest thing for some clients to see escorts, ''but escorts here will surely disagree''.

Yeah I actually DON'T disagree either. Whoever wrote this is the kind of client who resents paying and thinks of escorts as cruel, inhumane witches (and bitches) devoid of any compassion.