Your definition of “consent”
- Thread starter E.B.
- Start date
Consent is when an adult in command of her / his faculties agrees to a proposal. A minor, a chemically impaired adult, be it alcohol or drugs, or a person with cognitive disabilities is unable to give consent.
Money is to be considered too in the equation
You might say women have consented to seeing clients so they shouldn’t complain about being beaten up but the truth is that they probably feared financial loss if they didn’t see those clients. They only consented out of fear
You might say women have consented to seeing clients so they shouldn’t complain about being beaten up but the truth is that they probably feared financial loss if they didn’t see those clients. They only consented out of fear
I guess I hadn't thought of that because I can't imagine beating a provider. Beating a woman goes beyond issues of consent and is an immoral, reprehensible act committed by an animal. I certainly hope you have never had to experience this.
To me consent is very complex, but in a way it's very simple. If someone is fully capable of understanding the impact of a decision they make with another person and if they are not being coerced, if they say they consented, then it's true. I also think it's different depending on the situation
The way I understand consent in the context of sexual actvities is that it is the voluntary agreement between two partners to engage in specific agreed upon acts. In practice, the way I do it is literally to ask permission before every act. (This is how it is taught in schools in 2026.) For example: "Would you like to...?" ",Shall we...?" "May I...?" If the answer is "yes", free of coercion and with a partner who is not intoxicated, then consent has been established.
For some who may be of a certain age the above may sound silly, to which I will reply: keep up with the times...
For some who may be of a certain age the above may sound silly, to which I will reply: keep up with the times...
I think when it comes to a relationship between an escort and a client, which is relevant to this forum, consent means that certain things were discussed prior to the dates, and that during the date they are being discussed again before engaging
For instance, if we agreed on a GFE date and you start yanking my hair and trying to GREEK me, that is not consensual lol. But if we said before the date I would bbbj you, if you aren't sure you would ask if I am up for it, and I would probably say yes.
In the industry, consent can be easy to be stepped on (or over).
Sometimes it's easy to forget that paid companionship doesn't necessarily mean access to everything.
Like this ...
It's true. And honestly, it's the same outside of the industry as well. People can be coercive or disregard consent in and outside of this industry. Some people think they can do whatever they want to their partners. I had an abusive partner who would start having sex with me while I was sleeping for instance.. He did other things I won't mention here, because it's too upsetting.
But I do think that some men think because they are paying, they are entitled to everything. It's not necessarily crossing certain boundaries like forcing the girl to do something she didn't want to do, it can be a different, more insidious attitude. ''you have to let me fuck you really hard a whole hour without breaks because I paid'' is also not really cool in my opinion. Yes I accepted to fuck you, but I didn't accept to be in pain and to be used like an object.
Generally I find that when you care about someone's consent, you check in with them to see if they are okay with something specific, or to see if they are still ok or need a break.
Consent also means avoiding coercion and manipulation. ''I'll write a good review for you if you do this'' or ''If you don't do this I'll write a bad review'' or ''I'm your regular but I'll stop seeing you if you don't do this for me'' or ''I'll be your regular if you lower your rate or accept doing this for me''. ''if you don't do this I'll complain to your boss'' etc
Consent unfortunately is a gradient, for the reasons discussed above. I try and ask before most things I do, esp initially, with a provider and unless it's an emphatic acknowledgement we're not doing it, regardless of what their posted acronyms say they offer. If you offer greek but I ask and you're like, "yeah, I guess" I hear "not really" and I move on without it. Not only that but an initial "yes" isn't a forever "yes." If I say, "can I" when going down on you and you're like, "hell yeah" and spread 'em, I'm feasting, but I'm also paying attention to see if you're really enjoying it as I go and checking in periodically to see if I can continue feasting. I realize this all-you-can-eat pussy buffet still has a time limit.
Really what I think it comes down to is empathy. If you don't care about what your partner is feeling (paid or not) you're not gonna be a great judge of consent, and usually vice-versa.
Really what I think it comes down to is empathy. If you don't care about what your partner is feeling (paid or not) you're not gonna be a great judge of consent, and usually vice-versa.
I usually start the appointment by asking the SP about her restrictions, or after a bit of foreplay. I say usually because sometimes its just so organic that it doesn't seem super necessary to do it. It's not like I have crazy kinks or anything.
If intercourse lasts a while, which is an issue for me because I last too long..., I'll often ask if she's okay, if its not too much. Basically just show empathy. Most of the time, the girls just say they like it and keep going.
I'm someone who, I think anyway, has a lot of empathy for others. So it comes naturally. Last thing I want is to hurt women. I've had girls ask me to spank them if I want to or tell me that I can call them dirty words. I'll only do it if she's asking for it because she likes it. But its really not natural for me.
If intercourse lasts a while, which is an issue for me because I last too long..., I'll often ask if she's okay, if its not too much. Basically just show empathy. Most of the time, the girls just say they like it and keep going.
I'm someone who, I think anyway, has a lot of empathy for others. So it comes naturally. Last thing I want is to hurt women. I've had girls ask me to spank them if I want to or tell me that I can call them dirty words. I'll only do it if she's asking for it because she likes it. But its really not natural for me.
I think it's all about checking for signs too, and having realistic expectations. I know personally sometimes I'm afraid of saying I want a break because I'm afraid the client won't come back if he booked a long date or if he's a repeat client... or even worse that I'll get a bad review..
On my review thread there's a guy who says his experience with me "wasn't what he expected". This guy was extremely rough with me physically, I was in pain and I couldn't hide it and I wasn't able to act enthusiastic. That's why he was disappointed... It's kinda annoying that we have to deal with those dynamics.
I'm not saying this guy didn't respect consent, but it was very clear I wasn't having a good time and he decided to leave a negative comment on my review thread instead of changing his attitude. I didn't know who he was at first.. I found out through a friend who also saw him.
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