Your thoughts on IDs and gift cards

[2shy]

Hi Merbites,

I'm hoping for some advice regarding lack of references that, as a result, necessitate photo ID verification and a deposit. I am not too concerned about the deposit in favour of those who are well-reputed on this forum, but how do you feel about the phot ID requirement from Indys?
Thanks in advance

 

[Flyingby]

Your choice to either abide by it or not
Why do you have gift cards in the subject?

 

[IamNY]

Indy's need to look out for their own safety so I'm ok with the requirement for ID. As far as deposits go, I'm ok with that as well but it becomes an issue because I like to pay for my hobbying in cash and cash only. I want nothing to do with Venmo, electronic gift cards, etc. that can somehow someway be traced back to me. The way around this for me is to buy gift cards when I get into Montreal.

 

[Fradi]

I guess it is always your choice.
Photo ID. with someone you don’t know who calls herself ” Candy” not a chance.
There is a saying that works both for you and the SP there is plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[sene5hos]

There is a saying that works both for you and the SP there is plenty of fish in the sea.

For once I agree with you.

The girl has a private life and so do I, and if there are too many constraints I will go fishing further.
I prefer to talk to her.

 

[2shy]

Your choice to either abide by it or not
Why do you have gift cards in the subject?

Thanks for your response. Was asked to give a deposit by way of a gift card. I mentioned that I had less of an issue with the gift card than with an ID. I hope that this is clearer.

 

[2shy]

I want nothing to do with Venmo, electronic gift cards, etc. that can somehow someway be traced back to me. The way around this for me is to buy gift cards when I get into Montreal.

This is now more concerning lol. I was specifically asked for an electronic gift card, so maybe my response to FlyingBy is no longer accurate. Can you elaborate on the type of gift cards that you've felt comfortable buying?

THANKS!

 

[IamNY]

Can you elaborate on the type of gift cards that you've felt comfortable buying?

Sure, any gift card that you can find at your drug store or Walmart, places like that. You can buy them with cash and fill them up with pretty much any denomination you want. Then if your asked by an indy for a gift card you can give the card number with the passcode and they should be able to cash it or add it to an account of their choosing. I've only done this when I thought the girl was worth going through all of the trouble and I can totally understand why they would want to get a deposit especially if they don't know you.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Just my opinion but I would never give my ID to anyone, payment only to well known people, very well..

 

[hungry101]

I can't remember if I've ever actually given my ID to a girl. I remember a couple of times - once in Dallas and another in the Carolinas - showing them my plane ticket to prove that I am not LE. I may have given out more information than I am comfortable with when lining up a date when hobbying in the USA. I've never had to do this in Canada. Incidentally, I thought P411 and TER White Listing would take care of that but it has never been enough. What really helps is having another indy vouch for you. Most will. Those that are too bothered to do so are not helping others in their trade and should be avoided.

So far, I refuse to give a deposit. I've been stood up to many times for that. I have read too many horror stories about people making substantial deposits only to have the girl not show. They always say something along the lines of "sorry hun. Let's reschedule." The problem is that I may be in that part of the country a few days per year. That money is gone and worse than that, I'm scrambling to line up another date. If I miss that opportunity I may have to wait another year or two to get back to that hobby location. I'm more worried about time thieves than a 50$ gift card. This is why I prefer agencies or indies that I've met previously or have been referred to by someone that I trust or even Indies I have a report with through interactions with on this board.

 

[chowzilla]

Due to the escort circuit being quite tight, especially merb providers. IDs are shared between them in case for safety precautions or vetting quality clients. I can only imagine that girls are just like us guys sharing info of each other. However the provider has no benefit stalking you with your ID, most likely she has much better things to do than to rat you out.

 

[2shy]

Thanks to you all for your input!

 

[CLOUD 500]

For me the photo ID is a big No No. My real name and address is not them to know. I would just skip it. Also no deposit. I am already strongly against paying upfront before service is rendered. With reputable agencies I am okay to offer the donation in advance but sending money before you meet her physically is taking this to another level. Anything can happen even with a reputation nothing is 100%. I get their need to protect themselves but I also got to protect myself. Plenty of other options like agencies. Agencies is a no hassle booking process. Very simple and straightforward. No screenings, no deposits, no asking for a reference from another SW.

 

[Fradi]

I will not give a photo ID to an escort I haven’t met , no way.
Deposit if I want to see her really bad and she accepts a photograph of a gift card showing the numbers that she can enter and redeem then I might go for it, but it would only be for an Indy who is a Merb advertiser with good reviews.
References from another provider, no problem, I doubt that there are any ladies that I have met that wouldn’t do that for me.

 

[Pogo]

Would they show me their IDs?

 

[Julia Sky]

Would they show me their IDs?

False equivalence. You're writing this in a review board - let that sink in. You have literal reviews to make sure we're not going to kill you/rob you/hurt you/rape you/no-cancel-no-show on you. What do we have? (Note - I personally don't ask for ID, I just wanted to point out the false equivalence)

 

[sweetspot]

E-transfer deposit: heck no
Photo ID: hell no
Gift card deposit to reputable provider: Yes
Reference from another provider: Yes
Video Call: Yes (only friendly conversation for her to see you're not Freddy Krueger, no talk of specific services or donations)

What are you guys thinking giving your ID and real name?! Let's not be that desperate.

 

[Xtreme]

What would you guys say if “hypothetically” you are spending some time with a regular sp but out socially and maybe some things occur sometimes... Keep in mind at that point she already has your real phone number and name (not address) and you also have her real info. Do you still think it is a risk? Would you worry she could burn you?

 

[randomuser73737]

Gift cards are for robbing you without having to see you, ID cards are to blackmail you, simple as that. How is an ID card going to help a girl's security ? A bad dude can make a fake one and there's no way to check unless you have a police terminal.

 

[Julia Sky]

Randomuserbunchofnumbers, You say this like you think escorts (women in general maybe?) are too stupid to cross-check real life info. Giving a fake ID isn't going to be of any help for you if there's nothing to be found about that "person". Don't be silly.

I don't ask for ID and rarely for deposits myself BUT I understand why my colleagues do it. Deposits are to avoid wasting time, and ID is to know who we're meeting. If you don't show up, we didn't lose the entire amount (hence deposits). If you beat a girl up, she'll know who to sue. If you kill a girl, police will be able to find the info you gave her while going through her phone. If you stealth someone, she will be able to tell her colleagues exactly who is the rapist in the community. And bad guys generally refuse screening, so yes, asking for ID is a form of protection because it drives most of the bad guys away. It's really that simple et ça ne prends pas la tête à Papineau pour tirer ces conclusions, like really, think further than "muhhhh, women thieves" or "my boner > your survival".

It's really ok to say "I don't pay deposits/would never send my ID", what's not ok is saying " Gift cards are for robbing you without having to see you, ID cards are to blackmail you, simple as that". Don't be like that.

"Refusing to send ID means you're a murderer, simple as that." see how fucking stupid that sounds?