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Thread: Predatory practices/fleecing vulnerable people

  1. #1

    Predatory practices/fleecing vulnerable people

    Does anyone have anything thoughts to share about being used by someone, other than Coralie since we now know she didn't do anything wrong. Seriously, has anyone ever been taken advantage of by someone else who exploited a weakness in you and left you heartbroken, or just plain broke?
    How did you deal with it? Looking back what was your biggest mistake? Were there any signs that you didn't pick up on at the time? How do you protect yourself from making the same mistake twice? Did you feel any anger or desire to get revenge? What stopped you from taking revenge? Any advice for others who may be in your shoes on what to look out for?

  2. #2

    You are kidding yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by HonestAbe
    ....many people are duped at one point or another in their life. It really sucks when its about love though, often the question rushes through a victims mind when they are finally faced with the harsh reality, "How could I have been so blind?" Simple answer, "Love is Blindness."
    HonestAbe, I think you have answered your own question, in the same way as others have answered it for you. When we are duped, it is almost always because we deceive ourselves. You say that you have no prejudices, but it seems to me that you are quite fascinated by the predatory female myth. Lawless says "it takes two to tango", but I would remind that it only takes one to misinterpret, misunderstand, harass, stalk, etc. In answer to your last question, probably almost everyone who has lived life and tried more than one relationship has had bad endings of one kind or another. It is part of life. That's how we learn, by trying and failing, over and over again, until we finally succeed.

    Train, thank you. You have repeatedly taken the time to eloquently state that which should be obvious, but which clearly is not. I fear that in the future we going to have to sign a formal contract for every encounter, because so many clients seemingly don't understand the rules. That will kill the mood won't it! Keep on educating us!
    Last edited by sybaritic; 09-30-2005 at 08:27 PM.
    Memory loves time

  3. #3

    Ahhh, love

    Quote Originally Posted by Train
    I fall in love with all of them .....for about two hours.
    Ain't it the truth! And for me it wouldn't be much fun if I didn't.
    Memory loves time

  4. #4
    Dragonslaying Babe
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    *repeatedly smacks forehead in dismay*

    MONEY. YOU ARE PAYING HER!!! That should be hint enough.
    Last edited by Magda; 09-30-2005 at 02:32 PM.
    "Well behaved women rarely make history!"
    http://www.chezstella.org/

  5. #5

    Oh dear

    Quote Originally Posted by Magda
    *repeatedly smacks forehead in dismay*
    Please don't hurt yourself.
    Memory loves time

  6. #6
    Dragonslaying Babe
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    Quote Originally Posted by sybaritic
    Please don't hurt yourself.
    I am just stunned that there is even discussion about reality vs. fantasy, and that this needs explaining to anyone on this board.
    "Well behaved women rarely make history!"
    http://www.chezstella.org/

  7. #7
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    I was told years ago that the best times for an SP were when she takes the money and when she closes the door behind you leaving the room or her leaving it....!!!!!
    Always remember!!!
    Whatever one may say!!!!

  8. #8
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magda
    I am just stunned that there is even discussion about reality vs. fantasy, and that this needs explaining to anyone on this board.
    Magda,

    I wholeheartedly agree. I don't understand how an SP can ever be criticized for being too friendly. But some of these guys cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. It is their heads that need to be slapped, not yours.

  9. #9
    EB, Magda et al,

    Bottom lime, it certainly is the john's responsibility not to confuse fantasy with reality, and not to infer any amorous sentiment on the part of the provider in the context of a paid appointment. That I believe we all agree upon.

    But in society there are regular johns and lovesick johns, as there are social drinkers and alcoholics, social gamblers and others who can waste their earnings away, occasional tokers and druggies, regular Internet forum members and board addicts. In each of these forms of leisure, there are even-keeled participants and flawed people who let themselves get carried away, who allow a hobby to turn into an addiction.

    Aren't we all a bit excessive in this or that? Has anyone here not been on the verge of an addiction at one point or another in their lives? Right. Our flaws are what make us human, even likeable to some extent. So let's not so off-handedly throw stones on all the lovesick johns of this world who may have trouble distinguishing between a paid-for fantasy and real sentiment.

    A good bartender will tell a patron when he/she has had enough for the night. I am not a gambler, but I believe state-run casinos (in Qc at least) will help their patrons fight their addiction. Do pushers tell their customers to stop buying? Surely not, but neither are pushers asking for social acceptance. Do SPs tell their lovesick johns when they have spent enough and are imperilling their livelihood? Obviously I don't have any survey to rely on, but I would conjecture it doesn't happen very often. Should they? Well perhaps yes they should, especially at the high-end when the SP does not live hand-to-mouth. I fully support the SPs thrust to gain social recognition. I support their quest for rights. And with those rights, come some responsibilities.

    JB

  10. #10
    Dragonslaying Babe
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    Quote Originally Posted by joeblow
    EB, Magda et al,
    A good bartender will tell a patron when he/she has had enough for the night. I am not a gambler, but I believe state-run casinos (in Qc at least) will help their patrons fight their addiction. Do pushers tell their customers to stop buying? Surely not, but neither are pushers asking for social acceptance. Do SPs tell their lovesick johns when they have spent enough and are imperilling their livelihood? Obviously I don't have any survey to rely on, but I would conjecture it doesn't happen very often. Should they? Well perhaps yes they should, especially at the high-end when the SP does not live hand-to-mouth. I fully support the SPs thrust to gain social recognition. I support their quest for rights. And with those rights, come some responsibilities.

    JB
    I am not a babysitter, I am a sex worker. I am not your mother. I am a sex worker. If you cannot handle your own emotions, you need to grow up. It is not, I REPEAT NOT my responsiblity to look after your mental state. Seek counselling, psychotherapy, whatever....I wouldn't even expect this from an unpaid lover, much less someone who is just doing their job.

    The only time I will say something about a client's mental state is if it causes me discomfort. At that point I am risking further discomfort from a possible stalker/assault/kidnapping/psychokiller...etc! Thus, we have a situation such as the one we are currently discussing in this thread.

    Don't play that rights/responsibity card with me. I know what my responibility is, and it certainly isn't playing shrink to some lovesick, obsessed client. This job is dangerous enough without having to confront emotionally unstable clients about their mental state.

    Also, to compare alcohol comsumption to sex work is ludicrous. First of all, when one is drunk, it is quite obvious - not so obvious with obsession, though. Secondly, when one is drunk in public they are a danger to society as a whole and thus it is EVERYONE'S responsibility to make certain they are not driving or causing violence. However, if they want to sit at home and drink themselves into an oblivion that is no longer a danger to society and the bottle certainly won't protest being molested and tongued. However, someone who is obsessed can be obsessed anytime, anywhere, and unlike a bottle, an SP may protest. This comparison is weak and irrelevant.
    "Well behaved women rarely make history!"
    http://www.chezstella.org/

  11. #11
    ‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^› Special K's Avatar
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    Now that we've established that Coralie is totally innocent...

    I think it would be a good idea to start a separate thread starting with Honest Abe's post entitled....

    Now that we've established that Coralie is totally innocent...

    I'm sure it will provide many interesting observations.

    BTW Magda..your extremely candid and insightful posts really have a way of turning me on.

    SK

  12. #12

    Wow! Have you been drinking and typing????

    Quote Originally Posted by joeblow
    EB, Magda et al,
    Do SPs tell their lovesick johns when they have spent enough and are imperilling their livelihood? Obviously I don't have any survey to rely on, but I would conjecture it doesn't happen very often. Should they? Well perhaps yes they should, especially at the high-end when the SP does not live hand-to-mouth. I fully support the SPs thrust to gain social recognition. I support their quest for rights. And with those rights, come some responsibilities.
    JB
    I don't know about you, but I don't share my tax returns with even my most favorite SP friends!!! Can you explain to us how they are supposed to have a clue when a client is busting his budget?

    Magda is right, of course.
    Memory loves time

  13. #13
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    Magda,
    That's the only approach......fully agree.
    Whoever retain services like the ones you offer ....they have to do it at their own risks...for them to enjoy the moment.....an SP is there for one purpose only....whatever else they may say on this board!
    Otherwise they simply try to get business through this media!

  14. #14
    Dragonslaying Babe
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    Quote Originally Posted by Train
    Despite what Magda says don't the best sp's have a little bit of shrink in them ?
    Yes, but we NOT obligated to be such, not properly trained, nor do we have the education to provide this service (in most cases). In this circumstance also, (that of obsession with an SP) the sex worker is no longer objective enough to provide such a service, anyway, even if they were fully trained to do so.
    "Well behaved women rarely make history!"
    http://www.chezstella.org/

  15. #15

    Wow.

    Some of you need to relax. It never ceases to amaze me at how uptight some of you get over the idea of having a discussion over certain issues. In this case it seems that many of you are jumping through hoops trying to defend Sp's from some stigma that you think they are specifically being labeled with when nothing could be further from the truth. No accusations have been made about anyone in particular, nor any profession in particular. Disclaimers were made numerous times so as to ward off this kind of "feeding frenzy" of knee jerk reactions. So uptight are some of you in fact that you aren't even paying attention to the previous remarks which qualify and put into context the questions being asked. I think some of you might be a little unstable, LOL! Especially those who constantly make condescending remarks about other posters when they disagree with you. Thats just boorish.

    As for me being prejudiced because of some misperceived fascination with a "predatory female myth?" Thats ridiculous since a disclaimer was made previously saying that BOTH men and women are equally capable of doing the same thing, you would have known that if you bothered to read the previous posts. In addition I would ask who is deceiving themselves if they call it a "myth." It is a plain fact that there are plenty of people, MEN AND WOMEN, who look to take advantage of other people every day, every where. To deny that is to fool oneself.

    Its a simple question really. It has nothing to do with paying an Sp money since the context of the question is a scenario OUTSIDE of the working environment, NOT DURING A SESSION with an Sp. Therefore the simple conclusion that paying her should tip you off that its fantasy not reality has no bearing. Its not relevant to what is being asked. What is being asked is if it is wrong to pursue someone who exposes a vulnerability to you in order to exploit them beyond any working environment you may share with them.

    Say you are a bartender and you meet a person who is lovesick or heartbroken, you may serve them drinks at the bar til they are more drunk than they need to be and one could argue that you overserved them. But thats not abnormal because thats what bartenders do in many cases. They shine you on to keep you opening your wallet and buying drinks and tipping them. But what if you (bartender) pursued that person after work on your own personal time, calling them, asking them out for dinner, and pretending to fall in love with them in order to gain their trust so you could take advantage of their wealth? That wouldbe crossing the line of your working environment wouldn't it? Because you are no longer serving them drinks, now you are serving them a big dose of bullshit in order to enrich yourself, aren't you?

    The insinuation that other posters in this thread are having a hard time separating reality from fantasy is showing just how far you are missing the point. Forget Sp's. Forget Man or woman. Think People. Think everyday life. Sp', waitress, bank teller, fireman, police officer, ditch digger, bartender, WHATEVER profession you need to think about so you don't get defensive is fine. Just be objective and don't jump to conclusions.

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