Can you clarify what you mean by this, are you talking about provider's ? Clients ? Both ?
Nice la Presse Article on XO this morning
- Thread starter felixLg
- Start date
Can you clarify what you mean by this, are you talking about provider's ? Clients ? Both ?
Decrim is good for everyone involved including clients.. And we know that clients are criminalized. I just find it strange that some clients here want it legalized and don't support us in wanting decrim, when in fact they would have a lot more options as clients if it was decriminalized vs legalized. And it's been shown through multiple studies that in places where sex work is legalized, a lot is still pushed underground, and the multiple providers who aren't able to work at brothels are punished. So are their clients. The government doesn't know shit about sex work and dosn't know how to take control of it. We as sex workers and the organizations that are here to support us know what's best, they know decriminalization is the way to go.
I don't really understand what you mean by ''abusive providers'', unless you mean scammers. But that's another thing that decrim would protect you against.. If you were scammed by a sex worker, as a client you could report it to LE. Otherwise everyone would be forced to work at brothels, and the ones who can't could still scam clients and the clients who saw them would still be criminalized if they saw the worker outside of a controlled brothel.
It's really hard to prove that a client is abusive. You talk about ''truly proven to be abusive''.. How can you even prove that? Aside from massage parlors where I have seen clients run out of rooms without paying or girls run out of rooms crying because they were assaulted, it's very hard to prove that a client raped you or pushed boundaries. Most of us have absolutely no reason to lie about a client being abusive. There is just no point in doing that. But it's impossible to prove it..
I don't think that argument is useful here tho.. It's really exhausting to argue about this.
From what I've been told, at legal brothels, STI screening is mandatory.. FOR THE PROVIDERS. Not for the clients.
And logistically it makes no sense to give every client a STI screening every time they want to visit the brothel.
To me that doesn't change much from how things are now lol because the vast majority of providers are encouraged to get screened at their work place or do it themselves. If clients never get screened and bring STI to the brothel, it's the worker that is punished.
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Yeah definitely; all my girlies get STI screening at the parlour directly, they're not mandatory but I've never seen anyone not want them / refuse to take them and we have so many amazing / perpetual conversations about sexual health. Our bodies are literally our bread-maker and precious work tool. We're the first one needing for it to be top shape; healthy; safe (we are 100% the ones punished if a client brings stuff with him to see us first and foremost because we lose our literal source of income)... It always amazes me how a lot of clients seem so terrified of catching things because they see providers. It's definitely a belief born from demonization - stigmatization - antisexwork propaganda so I understand why people tend to be a tad ignorant about that subject, but still.
Beside my gyneco (lol), the most informed and knowleadgable ppl arount me about sexual risk/health/STIs have always been sex-workers.
I think that's why I actually got confused by that precedent comment about sti verifications.
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I don't like saying this but from what I've seen on this forum and what I've heard elsewhere, often it's on the client side that there is misinformation about STI's or there is some type of carelessness.. It's good to know that at a parlour girls are getting STI screenings. When I worked at parlours, unsafe services were strongly discouraged..
Well, every parlour is different ofc, I can only talk about my own experience at the current place I'm working at rn.
But yeah, I've had to explain often to clients stuff like skin to skin contact = possible sti risk, unprotected oral = possible sti transmission, cuts / blood = no go.
The irony of then having to live with the stigma of being a risk for ppl who have intimacy with me on a professional or personal level is crazy sometimes ngl. But I love also informing ppl about it, clients or friends and I've found over time that this feeling is shared by a lot of colleagues from many different sw area ! ! !
Seeing a thread like this one with so much brilliant knowledge about so many aspects of our reality as provider gives me lots of hope tho. Love reading all of those back and forth.
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I surfed over the last few pages because there is a lot to catch back but 2 points i noticed...
Well as much i would love a return to the outcall formula (and yes its a lot more discreet) i understand why incall became so popular both for agencies and clients. Agencies/SPs can do a lot more calls (so more money) and clients do just save hotel cost but also risks linked to it.
Heck even myself i used to be all about outcall until agencies kinda forced me to use incalls and at the end i was finding it "easier" in a way even if less "fun". I mean yeah i will always prefer checking in at an hotel and waiting for a date there but if a friend let me borrow his couch, and i can save on the hotel cost or rent at a "cheap hotel" (that some SPs don't like much) then it may be easier... With outcalls there is always a risk the SP may turn down your hotel even without knowing you. And no i won't pay 250$ a night for an hotel room at a big place... Its way too much of a waste... Chabrol and such motels are usually accepted by SPs but they are hellish to sleep at with peoples often partying in rooms above or next door.
Other point i wanted to mention... Remember Bianca White? Super high end indy (for Montreal) and indy. Yet she was arrested for "pimping" and other crimes.
I seen a few of her friends in the business and others i didn't but they still operate... She was arrested in September and we heard nothing. Could still be in jail. My point is its not just agencies... Its not just low end stuff.
Well as much i would love a return to the outcall formula (and yes its a lot more discreet) i understand why incall became so popular both for agencies and clients. Agencies/SPs can do a lot more calls (so more money) and clients do just save hotel cost but also risks linked to it.
Heck even myself i used to be all about outcall until agencies kinda forced me to use incalls and at the end i was finding it "easier" in a way even if less "fun". I mean yeah i will always prefer checking in at an hotel and waiting for a date there but if a friend let me borrow his couch, and i can save on the hotel cost or rent at a "cheap hotel" (that some SPs don't like much) then it may be easier... With outcalls there is always a risk the SP may turn down your hotel even without knowing you. And no i won't pay 250$ a night for an hotel room at a big place... Its way too much of a waste... Chabrol and such motels are usually accepted by SPs but they are hellish to sleep at with peoples often partying in rooms above or next door.
Other point i wanted to mention... Remember Bianca White? Super high end indy (for Montreal) and indy. Yet she was arrested for "pimping" and other crimes.
I seen a few of her friends in the business and others i didn't but they still operate... She was arrested in September and we heard nothing. Could still be in jail. My point is its not just agencies... Its not just low end stuff.
Looks like this thread is not about XO anymore lol.
In case anyone thought only men are pimps- guess again. There is such a thing as a pimpette! There has been more than one in the history of the industry in Montreal.
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Am not making any recommendations here, just saying the govt might want to stick its nose in hygiene even though it decriminalizes sexwork.
It could be as trivial as ensuring that condoms are available, conditions are appropriate (“regulation 23-3.4-xx a functional shower offering water between 40 and 70c must available to clients and providers”).
Of course the govt might want to ensure that sex workers are tested - most likely if confronted by a moral panic (I envision Maria Mourani shriek for this). Testing clients would be more logistically complicated but who knows what they would consider.
A lot of pimps are women.. and it doesn't have anything to do with "high end" or "low end". These terms don't even mean anything. There are women who pose as "assistants" but are taking a cut from the escorts they "manage" and exploit them in various ways. I think we're running around in circles honestly. No we can't be sure that someone who isn't super vocal online (surely my pimp would be wasting a lot of their fucking time of I had one lol) isn't being exploited.. but once you find out that they are, just make sure they're ok..
It is about how to avoid this problem with personal or population actions
Yes we do remember! She`s most likely not in jail. The norm in Canada is that you are out on bail (en liberté sous caution avec certaines conditions) during the judicial process. We don't know if she pleaded guilty or not. The whole process from charges being laid to conclusion of the case can easily take 1-2 years. Not sure the media will give us updates on her case though.
There's nothing you can do as a client aside from advocating for decrim and for sex worker's rights.
What you can do is change the way you treat sex workers, and the way you perceive us and our services. You can realize that you're paying us for our time (not for the number of minutes you're fucking us and getting your dick sucked) and that our services are valuable. You can also change your personal relationship to the idea of hiring a sex worker.. A lot of people feel guilt and resentment, and it's really unhelpful. ''No matter what, it's abuse anyways, so might as well turn a blind eye''.. or ''I'm angry that I can't get this for free, and I'm going to act as bitter and vengeful as possible'' are not really great attitudes.
I have a long list of things that are to be considered but I don't want to attract animosity.
What you can do is change the way you treat sex workers, and the way you perceive us and our services. You can realize that you're paying us for our time (not for the number of minutes you're fucking us and getting your dick sucked) and that our services are valuable. You can also change your personal relationship to the idea of hiring a sex worker.. A lot of people feel guilt and resentment, and it's really unhelpful. ''No matter what, it's abuse anyways, so might as well turn a blind eye''.. or ''I'm angry that I can't get this for free, and I'm going to act as bitter and vengeful as possible'' are not really great attitudes.
I have a long list of things that are to be considered but I don't want to attract animosity.
You have not attracted animosity and won’t by sharing your thoughts. People value your opinion even if they don’t all agree 100%.
I think decrim for customers would help customers act if they see something not right. Hard for a potential criminal to call police when a worst crime is underway (coercion, etc.)
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TYSM for giving me more details on your thoughts, it would actually make a lot of sense and would be of great benefit to providers in a way since lots of people have to work in less than sanitary spaces (broken showers, mold, not enough utilities for everyone). From what I've heard it can be even worse in places that are for trans/queer mp (again I navigate mostly into massage parlours atm so yeah, speaking about what I know, have access to present experience wise).
There are a couple of org that make sure to distribute condoms / lube and other safety / sex health stuff to parlours, providers, etc. We are free to use our own as well ofc ! Just so you know ^^
I wish there was better sex ed in schools and everywhere in general so that EVERYONE has more knowledge about sex health and safety and a tendency to go get a screening every 3 months at least hihu what a beautiful world it would be.
Something was definitly fishy when they dropped off the Agency listing here. I did see an Sp who moved on to another agency telling me some spooky stuff about them. That being said, I never had a bad encounter, nor was feeling watched. If you had any of your buddies who was selling weed in their teens; it is always the gateway to getting cut, besides being careless or dumb. Neighbors notices paterns. People get bored, people like a good ol fashion drama. So imagine when they see frequent comming and going in their block/neighborhood... That being said. If I have to trade off my phone number being in some police book vs helping under age exploitation; I will gladly accept the trade-off.
And Remember... If you pay and have a camera present. Porno isn't a vice crime... (Be gents though, leave it off.)
