When you start hating your job

LC18 · Jan 14, 2024

I am sure you’ve met or will meet a service provider who just lacks energy, enthusiasm and just wants to rush you out of the door.

Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice. I am writing this because, yes, I do read reviews when I’m off. (Usually during that week of the month). I can tell in some of those reviews that the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore.

When I read things like “I’ve seen her a few times and her service has decreased in quality”, I know she is most likely just exhausted.

Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do.

What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

LC18 · Jan 14, 2024

Side thought.

That’s one of the reason I’m happy with my current volume and rates. I’m able to work only when I really want to so I can always be on my best behaviour.

It was extremely hard when I had to work for someone because I had to work twice as much to make half the money I currently make.

Cap'tain Fantastic · Jan 14, 2024

LC18 said:
What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

I would start by talking with her.

Thane · Jan 14, 2024

I’d ask “Are you okay?” and then listen to what they have to say.

michaelduni · Jan 14, 2024

Cap'tain Fantastic said:
I would start by talking with her.

I think there a few things. First, just be a good listener to what the SP may be going through. Certainly, there is the burnout factor and suggesting taking time off to relax and de-stress helps. I think just showing kindness without judgement will allow the SP to open up. Also, some days, she could have met toxic people or be in toxic situations that will drain our positive energy, and she may not even be aware of it because its happening in real time. I personally think meditation, exercise, yoga/stretching with good nutrition and time for yourself is a good way to rejuvenate both the body and the mind. Lastly, since this is a intimate encounter, giving the benefit of doubt and being graceful when it happens will be the right thing to do.

Fradi · Jan 14, 2024

LC18 said:
What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

I would talk to her. No I wouldn’t stop seeing her she has been like a total angel to me for 6 years you don’t give up on someone like that easily.
I would see her as a friend only if that is what she wanted, I would exhaust every possible avenue to try to help her if that is what she needs.
I will never be able to repay her kindness I am amazingly lucky to have met her and to have her in my life.

bodick7 · Jan 14, 2024

Fradi said:
I would talk to her. No I wouldn’t stop seeing her she has been like a total angel to me for 6 years you don’t give up on someone like that easily.
I would see her as a friend only if that is what she wanted, I would exhaust every possible avenue to try to help her if that is what she needs.
I will never be able to repay her kindness I am amazingly lucky to have met her and to have her in my life.

Totally agree with you again. I got a 12 years+ favorite and she went through though times but I didn't quit.
The thing is, at some point I had to challenge her to take her problem in hand. Which she did.
We have our best time together since.

Cap'tain Fantastic · Jan 14, 2024

bodick7 said:
Totally agree with you again. I got a 12 years+ favorite and she went through though times but I didn't quit.
The thing is, at some point I had to challenge her to take her problem in hand. Which she did.
We have our best time together since.

Same here, 15 years, with some breaks long and short, due to her being in relationships. We never lost touch and always been clear about what was business and what was not.

AirBo · Jan 14, 2024

Hmmm... ok... interesting subject! First, I'll cut right to the chase and be short and sweet:

If my regular or fav doesn't want to see me because she is exhausted or depressed or has a new BF or whatever, of course I empathize and will ask her how she's doing and if I can be of any help BUT if the girl chooses to see me knowing full well that she is not going to provide a good service and be good company, then I have a problem with that since I pay north of 250$/h to enjoy said services/company.

Now, knowing this, allow me to quote parts of your post and react:

LC18 said:
Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

I do not agree that being an SP is like any other job but I do agree that SPs can suffer from exhaustion/burnout. It obviously is a very demanding job, physically and mentally.

LC18 said:
since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

Or take paid vacations. Well, I also am an independent worker, and as an independent worker, I take these variables under consideration and put money aside accordingly.

LC18 said:
Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice.

Taking under consideration the amount of money they make, if they don't have a choice but to keep working instead of taking a break, then there is a problem with the way they handle their earnings (out of touch with reality and spending too much, drugs, lazy ass/pimp wannabe BF, etc).

LC18 said:
the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore

Well, if it is like any other job, then change job... but it isn't that easy, is it? Just like any client who's been hobbying for too long, it's very difficult to get back to a normal life when you've been SPing for a while.

LC18 said:
Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do

I hope you realize that, as a client spending big money on you, this is not my problem.

LC18 said:
Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

At 250$+ per hour, definitely not, unless I feel this was just an odd session, an exception. I would tell her to let me know when she's happy to see me again. I would also let her know that I'm here for her if she needs me, that I truly worry about her and that I'd be happy to keep in touch, but I'm certainly not going to pay her rate just to listen to her problems and/or receive sub-par services.

Looking back at my hobbyist career, I'm very lucky that I didn't have to go through this yet.

LC18 · Jan 14, 2024

AirBo said:
I do not agree that being an SP is like any other job but I do agree that SPs can suffer from exhaustion/burnout. It obviously is a very demanding job, physically and mentally.

You know what I meant by that. We all know it’s not like other jobs. I just meant it as “you can suffer from exhaustion in that industry too”.

Finances in this line of work is very tricky. When days are good, it can be a lot of money quickly and not everyone has the tools to make good financial decisions. Some also develop some bad habits whether it’s shopping, spending recklessly or dr*gs.

There are also people that simply cannot have a classic job. They cannot keep one so this is the only way they can make money.

Quitting or taking a break isn’t easy for all but I would recommend it to anyone in or out of the business.

LC18 · Jan 14, 2024

Now,

I know this is the least of your concerns and you’re seeing escorts to have something light, casual and fun so if it starts being some kind of melodrama you should definitely move on.

If it’s someone you’ve seen many times, you should take it in consideration before writing your review. It might be a bad day or a bad week.

If it’s someone “new to you”, yes by any mean tell others that the provider lacked enthusiasm. That’s why this website was created.

LookAlike · Jan 14, 2024

Cap'tain Fantastic said:
I would start by talking with her.

+2

Fradi · Jan 14, 2024

LC18 said:
Now,

I know this is the least of your concerns and you’re seeing escorts to have something light, casual and fun so if it starts being some kind of melodrama you should definitely move on.

If it’s someone you’ve seen many times, you should take it in consideration before writing your review. It might be a bad day or a bad week.

If it’s someone “new to you”, yes by any mean tell others that the provider lacked enthusiasm. That’s why this website was created.

I think we have to make a huge distinction between someone you have seen once or a couple of times and someone you have been seeing regularly for years and what kind of relationship you have.

I would not accept a sub par performance from someone I see for the first time or someone I have seen 2-3 times why would I .
If they are fed up and hate what they are doing it is a free country there are millions of women who make a living who are not escorts, join their ranks.
You make your own luck in life, life is not a bowl of cherries, nobody owes you a living not even the government you need to work for it.

If we are talking about your ATF or someone who you have been seeing for years and was always kind to you then it is whole different situation.
I could never give up on my ATF, she is the best thing that happened to me after my wife passed away. I will be her friend and if she needs it help her for as long as I live. I will never close the door on her or give up on her.

Gazoo64 · Jan 14, 2024

As already mentioned, I would start by talking with her. Maybe we would just go for a coffee and have a chat.
My ATF and I have had candid discussions, so I would be open to listening and supporting, if she’s going thru a rough time.

We had many nice encounters, I wouldn’t stop seeing her just because she lacks some energy during some recent encounters. We’re all human, there could be many things going on in a person’s life.
We need to support each other.

Thor Jr · Jan 17, 2024

Cap'tain Fantastic said:
I would start by talking with her.

Perfect start, then i would tell her its time for a therapeutic vacation so we could further explore what is on her mind. Next stop, any exotic destination, beautiful beaches and sunsets, quiet scene and great food.

Wearethenight · Jan 17, 2024

I was suffering burnout in my earlier days working at an incall and going to school. This is a very unpopular opinion but the shelf life for this job is very short, like most physically demanding jobs. The hustling, the constant beauty upkeep the worry if you will make the money you need will eventually catch up to you, dealing with the cokeheads and drunks ( I say this as the rich men are also into that)

It's best to also find an alternative source of income like only fans, work for another job and do this part-time if your not a student of course. If your bilingual in Montreal, the world is your oyster when it comes to jobs, even with cv gaps. You may have to fib a bit on your CV but even if you have a substantial gap it's very easy to get a job even if it does not pay " sp"money, eventually you will make much more working less as an sp with a full time job and have much more security and put limits on what kind of clients you want to see. Touring may be off limits but I would not trade it for anything. Have a bad week with no calls? At least you have another source of income whether civilian or other to fall on.
l
English nor French are my first languages and I do not even speak french very well but I tell you that my mental health Increased dramatically once I found civilian work and do this independently on my own terms, the field that I am in requires English, plus most jobs over health benefits, paid vacation etc.

I knew several colleagues in there 40s and 50s who only work as Sps and never picked up other skills along the way to shorten there working duration. There burnout level is high it's not the case for everyone, and literally refuse to work in a civilian job as it pays to little, but yet they cannot save money or earn like they used too.

Also if you like to frequently travel to the US you will not raise any questions if you travel especially if you have a job on the side. Work as an Sp only or show your face? Say goodbye to New York City, Las Vegas and other places in the United States or travelling globally for that matter. At the end of the day it is not worth it just to work as an sp for the rest of your life or any very demanding physical job, it's obvious the burnout rate will be higher.

LC18 · Jan 17, 2024

Thank you for your input @Wearethenight

It is true that for people with fragile mental health, this job might be more difficult to do on the long run because of how mentally demanding it is.

I am happy I took a mandatory 3 years off (covid and pregnancy), it was definitely soul refreshing. I have now restructured my rates so that I don’t need to overwork myself. I now travel within Canada from time to time for both leisure and business.

I do see myself doing this for many more years if my body allows it.

What's My Name · Jan 17, 2024

It has happen to me where my ATF got moody and weird with me and giving me attitude. I tried to talk to her and she just gave me attitude. The last meeting it seemed transactional, like she just wanted the money and didn't give a shit about me. Long story short, I have stopped seeing her because even after our meeting I tried to talk with her and just gave me attitude. So now I have my SB we meet once a month and she's awesome.

Lexus3 · Jan 22, 2024

Wearethenight said:
I was suffering burnout in my earlier days working at an incall and going to school. This is a very unpopular opinion but the shelf life for this job is very short, like most physically demanding jobs. The hustling, the constant beauty upkeep the worry if you will make the money you need will eventually catch up to you, dealing with the cokeheads and drunks ( I say this as the rich men are also into that)

It's best to also find an alternative source of income like only fans, work for another job and do this part-time if your not a student of course. If your bilingual in Montreal, the world is your oyster when it comes to jobs, even with cv gaps. You may have to fib a bit on your CV but even if you have a substantial gap it's very easy to get a job even if it does not pay " sp"money, eventually you will make much more working less as an sp with a full time job and have much more security and put limits on what kind of clients you want to see. Touring may be off limits but I would not trade it for anything. Have a bad week with no calls? At least you have another source of income whether civilian or other to fall on.
l
English nor French are my first languages and I do not even speak french very well but I tell you that my mental health Increased dramatically once I found civilian work and do this independently on my own terms, the field that I am in requires English, plus most jobs over health benefits, paid vacation etc.

I knew several colleagues in there 40s and 50s who only work as Sps and never picked up other skills along the way to shorten there working duration. There burnout level is high it's not the case for everyone, and literally refuse to work in a civilian job as it pays to little, but yet they cannot save money or earn like they used too.

Also if you like to frequently travel to the US you will not raise any questions if you travel especially if you have a job on the side. Work as an Sp only or show your face? Say goodbye to New York City, Las Vegas and other places in the United States or travelling globally for that matter. At the end of the day it is not worth it just to work as an sp for the rest of your life or any very demanding physical job, it's obvious the burnout rate will be higher.

Have read this post several times now. Find it so well written and thoughtful. Seems to be from someone who has experienced, reflected and knows where she is now heading. Thanks for sharing and best of luck.

Gazoo64 · Jan 22, 2024

@Wearethenight , thanks for sharing your story. It gives a good perspective on the challenges of SP work and why it has a short shelf life. You know where you are heading, so good luck with that!

When you start hating your job

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