A survival guide for newbies entering the hobby & addiction

[General Gonad]

I've been thinking of this thread a long time but it's so potentially overwhelming that I didn't know where to begin. How can we best help newbies that have decided they're ready to take the plunge? That is the question that this thread will attempt to answer.

Does everyone here remember their "plunge" into the hobby? I do because it was eating me up inside but alas, in the end, my animalistic desires prevailed. They still do, but now my thinking is very, very different. It has evolved as I learned the good, the bad and the downright ugly of this "hobby."

I guess the first thing I would recommend to any newbie is to lurk for a while on the boards, learning from each and every review. Do not rush out to get laid with the first pretty face you see. There are many bait & switch operations out there so be careful. If it's too good to be true, it most likely is a scam (read Lion Heart's thread on this bait & switch operations).

If you're going to take the agency route, focus on the top agencies whose ladies are regularly reviewed (Celine's Fantasies, Eleganza, Xxxtase, Devilish, Asservissante). You should discuss with the owners what you expect and do not be afraid to tell them what type of lady you like. Try to pre-book and try to meet them early. If you want to take it slow, book them for a couple of hours. I still do this most of the time.

If you're more comfortable with an indy, do your research and again communicate your thoughts with the indy. What do you expect? Is she the right person for you? etc..

As far as booking rooms, there are plenty of threads on hotels and hotel bidding. For locals, there are plenty of nice motels with renovated rooms (Chablis and Ideal come to my mind).

Always be respectful, well groomed (see several threads on this) and try to relax and have fun. If you want to tip, go ahead but don't feel compelled to do so.

The most important thing to remember is that you're paying for a pleasurable fantasy - nothing less, nothing more. Don't fool yourself, not even once, into believing that this is the start of a great love affair.

There is a littany of crushed hobbyists that wished they heeded this advice.

GG

 

[Maritimer]

sound advice

I couldn't agree more. Going with the reputable agencies or indys is definitely the way the go. This advice is all the more worthwhile for people who are travelling to a new city to visit with an sp. Thanks for the post GG.

Cheers,
Maritimer

 

[General Gonad]

The wisest advice..don't take the plunge

I agree with all that has been said, but...
If you want my personal advice, don't go further if you never plunge that way yet.
Addiction like most of all people on this website is what it will let you bitter taste no matter who you are meeting...
Be careful...

JB2,

It takes a veteran to provide newbies with the wisest advice: don't take the plunge unless your willing to go through some sort of an addiction.

GG

 

[john77721]

I need your advice

Hello,

Gentleman, I need your advice. I took the plunge around six months ago. In the early stages of hobbying i would do around 3 or 4 booking a month. last month i had 10 booking is this too much. I mostly use the same agency and same Hotel. By the end of this year i estimate 50 to 65 booking with same agency is this too much for first year hobbyist. Most importantly am i addicted to hobbying.

thank you.
later johnny.

 

[Gentle2her]

By the end of this year i estimate 50 to 65 booking with same agency is this too much for first year hobbyist. Most importantly am i addicted to hobbying.

Is it too much? Only you can answer that. Does it impacts on your regular life? If yes, then it's too much.

Are you addicted? If your brain down there does the thinking for you, yes you are.

 

[General Gonad]

When is it too much?

Gentleman, I need your advice. I took the plunge around six months ago. In the early stages of hobbying i would do around 3 or 4 booking a month. last month i had 10 booking is this too much?

John77721,

I agree with Gentle2her, only you know if its too much but my hunch is that if you're asking the question, you already know the answer.

Here is a little math for you to think about: if you see one agency SP a week for one hour, you're spending roughly $220 - $250 (room included). That is $1,000 a month or $12,000 a year. Now, let's say you make $100,000 gross, which translates into roughly $60,000 clear here in Canada. That means you're blowing 20% of your net income on SPs.

In my books, this is excessive. Nobody should spend more than 10% of their net income on SPs. Some might argue that it should be less. If you're getting the rush too often, you're addicted and should pull back.

This hobby can easily become a pathological addiction - always be very careful with your hard earned money.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

On addiction and other nasty effects of hobbying...

5 to 10% of total net income should be a decent target...But watch out to excess gents...Over that amount Addiction is watching you...

JB2,

Addiction to the hobby has been discussed ad nauseum on this board. But I think we need to 'quantify' addiction for the newbies.

Some members measure addiction as the time spent lurking on Merb or the other board. Others measure it as the number of posts someone contribute to these boards.

My ultimate measure of addiction to the hobby is what percentage of your net income do you actually spend on paying for fantasies? Admitedly, there is a feedback effect that we all should recognize and some members are more susceptible than others.

For me, it's not what you write or how many hours you spend on the boards, but what you actually spend that counts. The same goes for other addictions like alcohol, drugs and gambling. But I obviously wouldn't recommend any of these latter activities.

I have heard of horror stories through private messages. Some clients regularly use cash advances on their credit cards to finance this activity. Needless to say, these members should permanently retire from this hobby.

The potentially devastating effects of hobbying are not limited to depletion of finances. You can also be doing a lot of psychological harm to yourself without knowing it. If the only relationships you've experienced in your life are based on paying for sex, then I would recommend you quit this hobby.

Finally, your physical health should be your number one concern. I recommend that you get vaccinated for Hepatitis A & B and that you test yourself every three months for STDs.

GG

 

[john77721]

Hello,

Gentleman,Thank you for some of the advice. Personal i think i am over doing it a bit and perhaps a little addicted to hobbying. I love this hobbying life style and lets face it SP are one of the most interesting people you will ever meet. For now i will take little break from hobbying.

Thank you.
later johnny.

 

[General Gonad]

The value of taking a break...

Gentleman,Thank you for some of the advice. Personal i think i am over doing it a bit and perhaps a little addicted to hobbying. I love this hobbying life style and lets face it SP are one of the most interesting people you will ever meet. For now i will take little break from hobbying.

Johny,

Try taking a real break for a while. I took one month where I did not even get on the internet (I was on vacation). It did me a lot of good and it helped me take a much needed mental break. Trust me, you're making a sound decision.

GG

 

[john77721]

Thank you GG,

I was thinking i would take a break for two weeks. one month will very very hard and to make thing worst my favourite girl working. I seen her last thursday and seen one of my other regular girls on saturday also meet a new girl last wednesday. So its little out of control i need a break.

later johnny.

 

[General Gonad]

I was thinking i would take a break for two weeks. one month will very very hard and to make thing worst my favourite girl working. I seen her last thursday and seen one of my other regular girls on saturday also meet a new girl last wednesday. So its little out of control i need a break.

Johny,

There will always be a "new" lady but there are very few gems.

GG

P.S. Remember you're paying for a fantasy - nothing more, nothing less. Never lose sight of those boundaries. Take a month off - in my opinion, you're due for a good break.

 

[John Legend]

I have mentioned my addiction before. My advice to new people is to stay away. I fibnd myself gambling more often now, trying to win money to cover my sex addication. I go to Montreal so often now, I don't even remember the trips. When I crossed the border into the US today, the guard asked when my last trip was, I told him July, when I have been twice since July and it didn't even register.

 

[Special K]

How addicted are you?

I took one month where I did not even get on the internet (I was on vacation). It did me a lot of good and it helped me take a much needed mental break. Trust me, you're making a sound decision.

GG

GG,

Question regarding your level of addiction. Do you think that in your day to day life now you could leave Merb and not even look at it for 1 full month? My personal observation on this matter would be "absolutely not", that's not knocking you but just my opinion that you wouldn't be able to stay away.

If the answers yes, I think you know my next question.

SK

 

[General Gonad]

Staying away is a valid option for a newbie...

I have mentioned my addiction before. My advice to new people is to stay away. I fibnd myself gambling more often now, trying to win money to cover my sex addication. I go to Montreal so often now, I don't even remember the trips. When I crossed the border into the US today, the guard asked when my last trip was, I told him July, when I have been twice since July and it didn't even register.

The option to "stay away" or "never take the plunge" is worth some serious consideration. It's hard not to be curious and attempt this, at least once, but it might be the costliest mistake of your life. In other words, think long and hard with your big head before acting with your little head.

GG

P.S. John Legend, it's never too late to walk away.

 

[General Gonad]

100% Yes!

Question regarding your level of addiction. Do you think that in your day to day life now you could leave Merb and not even look at it for 1 full month? My personal observation on this matter would be "absolutely not", that's not knocking you but just my opinion that you wouldn't be able to stay away.

If the answers yes, I think you know my next question.

No doubt about it, yes, even now, I can walk away. The only difference is that I wil not make any announcements. I learned my lesson.

GG

P.S. Do you want me to take a month off Merb?

 

[kradden]

As far as booking rooms, there are plenty of threads on hotels and hotel bidding. For locals, there are plenty of nice motels with renovated rooms (Chablis and Ideal come to my mind).

Thanks for this post GG, I have been lurking on the forums for a while and this thread answered a few of my questions and I finally decided to join in . I have been thinking of joining the hobby like many others and was wondering how to start. I get the feeling that people posting here are not locals and I feel kind of "out of place" to post in the merb forums. However I still want to try things out in Montreal and was wondering how I could arrange a nice encounter with a SP without problems. Since I am a local, I don't want to book a room in a hotel but I don't want to book in a cheap motel either. I heard that some agencies were not going to motels for that reason. Anyone care to comment? Thanks!

 

[California Surfer]

Use common sense

People have to use common sense, the same way they use it in other aspects of their lives, if you are the additive type, if you consider yourself at risk of becoming dependent on this board and or on the hobby, then the best advice to you is do not start.

Once in, you will find that like any addition, getting out is that much more difficult. The measure of your addtion is clearly defined by you and some of the comments on this thread, I will argue that the examples are evident, just in this thread.

If you lurk, learn and guide yourself by the boards (like this one), use common sense, someone once said: Objects in Mirror are larger than they Appear.
There is alot of info on this board and some of it is BS, so you have to learn to differentiate the truth from the dream, the blast, the ego exageration or the deep dispair.

Finally if you meet SPs, use common sense, the fact that you gave $1000.00 tio an SP last week does not make you more enduring to her, the fact that you treat SPs with respect and courtesy does not make you a lesser man, the fact that a woman operates on this profession does not mean that she is a sex maniac (there could be some), the fact that you use these services does not make you an automatic pervert (well maybe it does but just a little )

At then end do what it feels rigth, if you are already asking yourself after 6 months if you have gone too far, you probably have.

 

[John Legend]

GG:

Walking away is easier said then done. I am an addictive personality. I have been into drinking and gambling, and am proud to say I have beaten both addictions. Yes, I do still gamble, but not anywhere near the level I use to. I no longer drink, so the only bad vice I still have is my sex addiction. It's very costly like I have detailed before, but the goal for me is to control it as much as possible. I guess as I get older, and less appealing to women, I will more then likely walk away from this. As for now, I am still able to get takeout (paid and freeble) , get an escort to orgasm, get complimented on my kissing and pussy eating technigue, and enjoy the time spent with a young, hot, pettitte girl. The good thing is with my busy life, and Montreal visits invlove border crossings (lines, hassles etc) I usually hobby in the USA (clubs way more expensive). So I guess the expense and hassle will help to break my addiction.

 

[General Gonad]

The good thing is with my busy life, and Montreal visits invlove border crossings (lines, hassles etc) I usually hobby in the USA (clubs way more expensive). So I guess the expense and hassle will help to break my addiction.

JL,

Best of luck but at least you are aware of the problem.

GG

 

[ExoticSpirit]

During Addiction

When you guys say that hobbying is addicting, does it involve causing one not to be motivated to pursue genuine relationships with non SP women? Is it realistic to use hobbying if one is just in between relationships and then quit hobbying once a new relationship comes along?