Any old timers can tell me how they calmly handle situations like this?

[kewt]

Hey merbies,

I recently had a pretty bad experience with a SP who tried to rip me off every step of the way. I wrote a review about it, just check my posts. I don't want to post links since I'm not sure whether or not this violate the rules.
How do you guys handle these bad apples w/o loosing your cool (verbally or otherwise)?

Cheers,
kewt

 

[CLOUD 500]

The best advice I can give you is unless you are booking with an agency with a long well proven track record such as Euphoria, Vogue, MSC or XO I would suggest to never pay upfront. You are making yourself an easy target to scammed. Once the girl gets the money she has no incentive to provide a good service and is much more likely to scam you. Xxxception is spotty at best and is borderline bait and switch. You are lucky the girl gave back your money. Not worth the stress. You do not pay to be stressed like this.

 

[westwoody]

Make sure you and the girl agree on everything before giving the money.
If she is vague or evasive end it immediately.

As for not losing your cool, that is hard, but there is always risk, YMMV always applies.
Just like any business there are bad people on both sides of the deal. There are bad providers and bad customers.

She lost more than you did. She may have pocketed a few bucks but your review will cost her a lot more.

 

[CLOUD 500]

She lost more than you did. She may have pocketed a few bucks but your review will cost her a lot more.

I strongly disagree with this one. Merb represents only a small portion of clients. Merb clients are difficult clients. The girl is still on the roster. They will still get bookings from elsewhere. See how many bait and switch agencies exist that is proof of that.

 

[Julia Sky]

I strongly disagree with this one. Merb represents only a small portion of clients. Merb clients are difficult clients. The girl is still on the roster. They will still get bookings from elsewhere. See how many bait and switch agencies exist that is proof of that.

I agree with you. I always smile when people say "this review is going to ruin her" because really, about 98% of the clients don't even know merb exist haha !

 

[EagerBeaver]

Yeah it’s laughable nonsense that a bad review on MERB does anything. Sweet Montreal ran a notorious bait and switch operation for over 15 years and despite numerous warning posts in the bait and switch sticky thread they thrived. Every year there would be some new long post warning about them which had not read the prior 10 posts of the exact same thing each prior year.

The best way to avoid bad experiences is to do the research and stick to well reviewed providers. As for handling a “bad experience” calmly, maybe you need to partly accept responsibility for not doing homework or whatever. But prior posts suggesting that you not pay upfront are not something you should try with better agencies because they are coached that it works both ways and guys leave incalls without paying. I never ever have any issues with better agencies, on the rare occasions when there is some mishap they are accountable.

 

[Mistral]

Hey kewt
I had a ripoff experience in Mtl a long long time ago. It was worse in one way - I called the agency while the girl was still in my hotel room. Lady on the phone was not helpful, she asked to speak with the girl, I passed the phone, they start chatting and laughing on the phone in front of me. LOL. Left a bad taste in my mouth, but I quickly erased it with some excellent sessions soon after.

Anyways take a philosophical perspective:
1. In the hobby you can have long, good runs but sooner or later you will have a bad experience. Just chalk it up that statistically you were due for a bad one.
2. Take pride that you TOFTT and posted the review so we can all benefit and avoid her.

I have to disagree with the last few posts. No data but it's my opinion just like theirs. There is no way I can believe 98% of Mtl hobbiests don't know about merb. How would one know that? Just because they don't mention merb doesn't mean they don't know merb. I rarely mention merb when I see someone. In this day and age with the internet, very hard to believe many if not most guys are not looking for online reviews and info. The proof in the pudding will be if the agency keeps the lady in question on the roster. OP review was only earlier today. If she is removed from the roster, you can bet it will affect her.

 

[jalimon]

I agree with you. I always smile when people say "this review is going to ruin her" because really, about 98% of the clients don't even know merb exist haha !

Julia I saw you and you found out about a year later

Cheers,

 

[Julia Sky]

I actually ask most of my clients about where they found me, and if they know about merb. Most say ''I found you on (ad site), what is merb ?''

Who's the escort here ? Me, not you, Mistral. Don't try to tell me where my clients come from. Lol, you're sooooo naive if you think most clients check reviews. Do you even know how many girls and clients there are in Montreal ? Merb clients represent next to nothing and all the girls with bad service or fake pictures or whatever would be out of business if merb was that much of a deal breaker. Get out your illusion. I don't even know how you can think for a second that merb is a huge part of the clients in MTL. It's a very small portion.

Jalimon : But you're one client out of how many, and that's because I didn't ask you when we met, if you knew about merb or where you found me. Trust me, merb is a tiny little portion of the clientele. Some girls/agencies have made thousands and thousands running bait-n-switch. That wouldnt work if merb was the main source of attraction...

 

[Julia Sky]

86 000 members since the beginnings of MERB (2003 ?) and you have the audacity to think most clients check reviews. Considering you can only read reviews with an account, how many of those 86 000 members are sill active, how many of them are banned shill accounts, or second accounts, how many are girls, how many moderators, and how many guys are actively seeing escorts in Montreal right now ? There you have your answer.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Well said Julia Sky. A lot of these guys who post reviews it makes them feel better when they get scammed thinking it will affect the girl who scammed them but they are living in their own delusion. They only have themselves to blame to falling for the red flags and for not doing their homework. This is why I call this Merb culture. Also GFE is a Merb thing. Most escorts out of Merb do not even offer GFE and most clients out of Merb are quiet okay with that. Only on Merb we talk about BBBJ.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Mistral,

What I posted about Sweet Montreal isn’t opinion, it’s factual. The point you are missing is that it’s not knowing about MERB that counts. It’s being able to and taking the time to conduct a skilled search that counts. All of the guys who fell victim to Sweet Montreal knew about MERB. They just didn’t read the B&S sticky thread. When confronted with the prior reviews they admitted they didn’t know about them. So the bad review expedient really doesn’t work especially with agencies and indies that are somewhat off the grid so to speak.

 

[jalimon]

I agree with you many client know nothing about Merb. But Merb is very very important for many agencies and indy. A few told me themselves their booking significantly went up after my review (I told them me or another would have been the same as your good! hehe).

Do no ignore Merb private back channeling. I have not seen anyone based on review or add/agency pics in probably 18 months. Only via private message exchange with other merbiste (or because the girl were part of a kinky party with detour/ssj but that is another story ).

Cheers,

 

[Julia Sky]

Mistral,

What I posted about Sweet Montreal isn’t opinion, it’s factual. The point you are missing is that it’s not knowing about MERB that counts. It’s being able to and taking the time to conduct a skilled search that counts. All of the guys who fell victim to Sweet Montreal knew about MERB. They just didn’t read the B&S sticky thread. When confronted with the prior reviews they admitted they didn’t know about them. So the bad review expedient really doesn’t work especially with agencies and indies that are somewhat off the grid so to speak.

Literally had a gent from merb book me recently, and he was ashamed because his only reference was this agency you're talking about. Which further proves your point. I contacted them and they said they knew nothing about him & they never had a girl with the name he gave me for his reference. They seemed shady so I checked merb and decided to trust the guy instead. Well, glad I did, he was a gentleman. He knew about merb and still fell for this agency. Your point is still valid to these days.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Mistral,
So the bad review expedient really doesn’t work especially with agencies and indies that are somewhat off the grid so to speak.

Yep I agree with this because despite all the negative reviews there seems to be a sucker every week whining on this board about getting scammed by a backpage girl and fell for some of the oldest tricks in the book. They have accounts but still were foolish enough to fall for it. Those con artists thrive on naive clients. Like I always say there is a sucker born every minute.

 

[Russ_Meyer]

It's a normal thing for people to want to rationalize their experiences in this hobby. We all, once in a while, like to think that we're in control, that we can predict and avoid getting screwed. SP like to think they know their industry, but the fact is that they have a limited knowledge of one sub-section of the industry. Same thing for clients. There're no way of knowing the market share taken up by independent providers, and there's no way of knowing what happens behind closed doors. That's why it's so intoxicating: it's a little risky. When things work out and you're happy cause you got a little YMMV, you feel the extra kick because you know it could have broken differently. People who claim that a reputed high-end agency will protect its customers because of return business are making a prediction based on past results and a naive theory of business relationships. And we all know past results in the stock market are not indicative of future profit. XO or whatever are not Microsoft. They're not even patates frites La belle province.

This post started off with a guy asking for advice about how to deal with having been screwed by a SP. Most of us who don't spend 500$ a week on the hobby can relate to that. As some members mentioned, you have to simply file those crappy experiences under "experience earned" and carry on, knowing that in time your judgement improves and these things don't happen as often. Is it better to pay after the service ? Of course, but many reliable, sexy SP will not accept that, as well they shouldn't. IMHO, the burden is on the client: it's your job to do your homework and ask all your questions before you hand over the money. That's my one recommendation: go over all the details right before you fork over the money. Some other members mentioned it as well: if the girl doesn't ackowledge what you agreed upon, just leave. It takes a lot of practice not to give in to the provider when you're horny as hell and want a release. In the past I've felt that focusing on details would take away my chances of getting the special kind of YMMV that sweet respectful clients regularly get from sweet, honest and sexy providers. But remember how bad you feel after having been screwed the wrong way. There are plenty of straight shooters out there, even on the rebate sites.

 

[EagerBeaver]

One other factor not being discussed here is that a “bad experience” is often determined to be “bad” based on unjustified or perhaps unrealistic or warped expectations, perhaps shaped by bait and switch, fake pics, misrepresentations, misunderstandings, lies or bad assumptions. When reading posts like the OPs, we have ZERO information on what shaped his expectations, whether they were warranted etc. We simply assume it but my point is that if you don’t have very high expectations to begin with, a bad experience might not seem as bad. On the other hand if there has been a massive buildup of expectations based on nothing that would raise expectations for the reasonable client, we have a case of unrealistic expectations. All of these factors shape bad reviews we read but we often have no information at all about them.

I recall some years ago an agency girl who had a number of great reviews received her first bad review. Clearly the reviewer had relied on the good reviews, and they shaped his expectations. However his bad review was over the top. It must have been a shock to that SP to not only receive a first bad review but a particularly nasty one. She responded by registering a MERB handle and then attacking the reviewer, in graphic detail, criticizing in particular his looks and poor personal hygiene. No details were left to the imagination. The Mods later intervened and banned her and deleted her graphic retort although the agency confirmed it was her and later responded on her behalf.

I think that whole episode happened due to expectations that were raised by board reviews. But my point is we often don’t hear from the poster what precisely led him to expect that the experience would be something other than a horrible adventure. And I suspect the answer in many cases, from the standpoint of the knowledgeable MERBiste, is “nothing.”

 

[kewt]

Thanks for all the replies! I did not expect that, and it's great to receive so much wisdom in so little time
Just to be clear: the intention behind my review was not to harm (financially or otherwise) this SP, but rather to give a warning to others in the community, and perhaps give her an opportunity to reconsider her current business model/strategy.

 

[Pvt. Papineau]

Rip offs are part of the game, if you report the good, bad and ugly in a review you will make it better for all the hobbyist. ( they might return the favor in their reviews )

 

[EagerBeaver]

Kewt,

I did take the time to read your review because I didn’t know exactly what your gripe was. Your primary beef seemed to be that you were suddenly whacked with an $80 upcharge for each of CBJ, LFK and DATY. I would agree that this is way beyond the industry norm and you had every right to be upset. Here is my opinion, the girl you got likely went straight from an MP to an agency. Those upcharges are common at certain MPs and my guess is she thought that MP model which may have been successful for her would translate to a full service escort agency. I would actually bet money on it but it’s on the agency to train the ladies otherwise.

FWIW, the only services which typically warrant extra charges by an agency girl are BBBJTCIM and anal/Greek.

At MPs, which I can’t name due to board rules, I have paid extra charges for what would probably be a no upcharge GFE service at an escort agency. That’s my choice as a consumer. I wouldn’t do it with every MP girl and may not be offered even by every MP girl, but in my experience MP girls become more open when the wallet opens up and money is offered for extras.

And I think this girl likely came from that model, although if she didn’t there is no explanation for what she was thinking. Because those upcharges just aren’t the norm.