I really think the hh is killing you. Its meant for people who know what they want and get out.
Like everyone said, you gotta find someone who will be patient if you explain them how you feel. I admit not all women will suit you. Either taking longer session to put you at ease, or indies. Indies are more geared towards companionship, good place to start. Clearly there are some great agency girls that are so cool that they would make it easy on you, but there is no general rule for you to follow to find those girls... so its tough... maybe bubbly girls?
You need the time to discover your rythme in the session. I can't deny that I've learned a lot from hobbying, I've done it for so long, but it really comes from genuine relationships that you learn the most. Knowing how to read your partner.
There is no way you can build a rapport, find your mojo and learn your way around a girl in 30min.
I am friends with a fellow MERBite, he suffers from spinal atrophy and moves around in a electronic wheelchair. He was a terrified individual until he started hobbying. He met with a lot of indies, and was very polite, he obviously had to warn the agency/indy of his condition, but his experience shows that the industry is very accommodating. After a few years, he changed a lot, he became more confident, and learned how to socialize, he now runs his own business, motivational speaker and has like 2 SBs lol... I applaud for his come back. There is hope for everyone. The lesson is not that you need to bang 100 girls, more that you need to learn how to invest in a relationship, as in getting to know someone.
My grandmother used to mess with me as kid to discipline me, and she would say:
You are too ugly to be mean.
just means, be a pleasant person.
it'll help with mileage too.