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awkward, 28, lack of experience, should I hire a sex coach?

Abathur

Member
Aug 8, 2019
79
22
8
I understand you very well. When I started with escorts, I was nervous at first.

I met a few girls and never went back, because I didn't know Merb. Since I got to know Merb, I haven't thrown my money out the window.

For you I think that the young agency girls would not meet your expectations, because as you say "they can meet your fantasies but no emotion"

It's about finding the right one.
You are normal, even today when my favorite undresses I get erect, but on the other hand I am no longer 29 years old. At that point, you simply explain this to your partner and she will fill you up twice.

Good luck

yeah, young agency girls in their 18-21 indeed look very hot because of their young look, like others say, they probably less maturity and understanding, less like a pro whom can deal with any situations.
 
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Abathur

Member
Aug 8, 2019
79
22
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As someone who is in same boat as you ( young, inexperienced, awkward) I can guarantee you that the agency and merb indies can create those emotional moments with you. Most are very good at dealing with socially stunted men. They know how to lead a conversation and put you at ease. They want you to enjoy yourself and feel comfortable with them. Obviously it won’t be the same as having a long term gf. But it can definetly help you get more comfortable talking with women and being comfortable in intimate setting. Alot of these girls are very honest, tell them up front that you are socially ackward/anxious and you are trying to improve your socialization with women and I can say with confidence most will make an effort to guide you in a good direction.

As for the “what do I do after I cum” question. Use that time to talk with her and try and form a connection. Very few guys go at it for a full session of sex. I myself tend to also last between 5-10 mins, sometimes less on a bad day. Use the rest of the time to socialize. You can even go for a second round if you are able to get it up fast enough.
Don’t be afraid to ask the girls to cuddle either. Most of them won’t initiate it but you would be hard pressed to find one that would refuse a nice relaxing cuddle session if you asked for one. You were just inside them after all.

I definetly owe many of the ladies I have seen alot in terms of my comfort around women but also my social skills have improved as well. Although I still have alot of confidence and anxiety issues that hold me back from getting into a relationship i’m definetly getting better and I think you can too, if you start seeing agency/merb advertised indies for minimum 1 hour and actively engage in socializing with them instead of a “wam bam thank you mam” out the door scenario you seem to be currently doing.

Good luck on your journey
you gave me hope!
 

Abathur

Member
Aug 8, 2019
79
22
8
Ok. Real advice
Book an sp with experience. Minimum 26 years of age The young hotties are good. But will not teach you
April rose, sonia von satcher, anna at euphoria. Great examples
When I was starting. I booked Anna. When she was giving me a bj, I closed my eyes. She told me to look at her. Enjoy all of it. She let me get 4 pops in the hour with encouragement

a young hottie had made me feelbad about even requesting round 2
So. See a girl with experience. Skip the new girls

and finally. Tell yourself the following. You are not there to impress them! They are there to impress you

taking notes, "April rose, sonia von satcher, anna at euphoria"!

I was in the same boat, when I was with the first lady, I came in the first 5 mins, I still have 20 mins left but she already gets up and wears her clothes so I just wash up and left although she ask to offer me massage...
 
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The Nature Boy

Well-Known Member
Jun 17, 2017
2,342
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Call cloudsurf and bring a notebook and be better than the gap!

Have you ever seen that movie where Ryan gosling gives Steve Carell a make over? Expect that, kinda...

 

bamjay

Active Member
Sep 22, 2018
197
207
43
Have you considered easing yourself into things?

Go get a massage and a handjob at least once or twice. Maybe try something like a Nuru massage with a naked girl rubbing herself all over you. Then maybe go to a place where a blowjob is an option.

Then, and only once you’re fully comfortable with all that, book an escort. I agree with the suggestions above, preferably pick someone who is over 30 and be open and honest to her about what you shared here.

Once you gotten the hang of things you can then proceed to banging the young hotties at the escort agencies. I also agree they might not be the best choice for you right now.
 
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chowzilla

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Aug 10, 2011
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I really think the hh is killing you. Its meant for people who know what they want and get out.
Like everyone said, you gotta find someone who will be patient if you explain them how you feel. I admit not all women will suit you. Either taking longer session to put you at ease, or indies. Indies are more geared towards companionship, good place to start. Clearly there are some great agency girls that are so cool that they would make it easy on you, but there is no general rule for you to follow to find those girls... so its tough... maybe bubbly girls?
You need the time to discover your rythme in the session. I can't deny that I've learned a lot from hobbying, I've done it for so long, but it really comes from genuine relationships that you learn the most. Knowing how to read your partner.
There is no way you can build a rapport, find your mojo and learn your way around a girl in 30min.

I am friends with a fellow MERBite, he suffers from spinal atrophy and moves around in a electronic wheelchair. He was a terrified individual until he started hobbying. He met with a lot of indies, and was very polite, he obviously had to warn the agency/indy of his condition, but his experience shows that the industry is very accommodating. After a few years, he changed a lot, he became more confident, and learned how to socialize, he now runs his own business, motivational speaker and has like 2 SBs lol... I applaud for his come back. There is hope for everyone. The lesson is not that you need to bang 100 girls, more that you need to learn how to invest in a relationship, as in getting to know someone.

My grandmother used to mess with me as kid to discipline me, and she would say:
You are too ugly to be mean.

just means, be a pleasant person.

it'll help with mileage too.
 
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MCTJ

Well-Known Member
Jun 24, 2017
691
1,311
93
You received a lot of good advice in this thread. I was also inexperienced when I first saw an SP. I will emphasize that 30 min is not enough for an appointment. Actually it could even be making things worse! Save some money and "invest" in a 1 hour or even 90 min date. When you arrive, sit down with her on the couch and make 15-20 min of small talk (or more!) + light cuddling. It should help you to relax and will help you build a connection. Then you'll be ready for the next step :)
 

CydoniaNights

Active Member
Dec 7, 2018
123
130
43
I really think the hh is killing you. Its meant for people who know what they want and get out.
Like everyone said, you gotta find someone who will be patient if you explain them how you feel. I admit not all women will suit you. Either taking longer session to put you at ease, or indies. Indies are more geared towards companionship, good place to start. Clearly there are some great agency girls that are so cool that they would make it easy on you, but there is no general rule for you to follow to find those girls... so its tough... maybe bubbly girls?

Bubbly girls or chatty girls are definetly the easiest type to socialize with. If you suck at breaking the ice or finding things to say, they always make it easier with their charisma. You just feel more at ease cause you don’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells when you speak and you can just be yourself.

But there is also something so rewarding about getting a more introverted or shy girl to open up and have a nice conversation with you. If you can get reserved girls to chat with you like you are their best friend on a regular basis then you definitely know how to talk to women.

Would definetly recommend bubbly girls for hobbying though if you aren’t charismatic, as you are much more likely to have good chemistry since these girls are naturally social. Most of my poor experiences in the hobby have been with shy girls that I didn’t know how to charm or get them to open up.
 
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Flyingby

Supreme leader
Jul 3, 2015
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Up north
Yeh. I am of the opposite advice of a few people here. No time to chat it up.
if money is an issue. Hobby less but make it worth it.
you are 28. Which means your refractory period should be inexistant.
so a hh girl at 160= 1 sog
An hour girl at 250 is 2 sog. Which means 125$ per sog.
5 mins chat at beginning. No time left to chat at the end

but. As Chow said. Be polite. Kind. Curteous. Ask about her day. Then: bing bang boum
Look for girls who take charge. Not submissive ones (when you start learning)
Bringing a 2$ mcdo smoothie works as well as a 50$ bottle of wine
 
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Abathur

Member
Aug 8, 2019
79
22
8
I really think the hh is killing you. Its meant for people who know what they want and get out.
Like everyone said, you gotta find someone who will be patient if you explain them how you feel. I admit not all women will suit you. Either taking longer session to put you at ease, or indies. Indies are more geared towards companionship, good place to start. Clearly there are some great agency girls that are so cool that they would make it easy on you, but there is no general rule for you to follow to find those girls... so its tough... maybe bubbly girls?
You need the time to discover your rythme in the session. I can't deny that I've learned a lot from hobbying, I've done it for so long, but it really comes from genuine relationships that you learn the most. Knowing how to read your partner.
There is no way you can build a rapport, find your mojo and learn your way around a girl in 30min.

I am friends with a fellow MERBite, he suffers from spinal atrophy and moves around in a electronic wheelchair. He was a terrified individual until he started hobbying. He met with a lot of indies, and was very polite, he obviously had to warn the agency/indy of his condition, but his experience shows that the industry is very accommodating. After a few years, he changed a lot, he became more confident, and learned how to socialize, he now runs his own business, motivational speaker and has like 2 SBs lol... I applaud for his come back. There is hope for everyone. The lesson is not that you need to bang 100 girls, more that you need to learn how to invest in a relationship, as in getting to know someone.

My grandmother used to mess with me as kid to discipline me, and she would say:
You are too ugly to be mean.

just means, be a pleasant person.

it'll help with mileage too.

well-spoken! lesson learned!
 

Abathur

Member
Aug 8, 2019
79
22
8
Yeh. I am of the opposite advice of a few people here. No time to chat it up.
if money is an issue. Hobby less but make it worth it.
you are 28. Which means your refractory period should be inexistant.
so a hh girl at 160= 1 sog
An hour girl at 250 is 2 sog. Which means 125$ per sog.
5 mins chat at beginning. No time left to chat at the end

but. As Chow said. Be polite. Kind. Curtious
Look for girls who take charge. Not submissive ones (when you start learning)
Bringing a 2$ mcdo smoothie works as well as a 50$ bottle of wine

I think to go straightforward, no chit chat may seems be the most efficient and cost-effective way to get the most out of bucks, probably hard to build a connection and women don't like it because essentially you might see them as a tool to satisfy your needs which is never going well especially for well-educated ladies.

Quality >>>> Quantity, I agree it's all about the quality time you spent with a lady not just the number.
 
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sene5hos

Well-Known Member
Dec 26, 2019
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Quality >>>> Quantity, I agree it's all about the quality time you spent with a lady not just the number.

I agree with Fradi.
I haven't met Julia, but from what I've read on this site, she seems like the woman to meet.

Between agency girls and indies, I'll go for the indies.
Agency girls often change agency, or go indies?
 

Flyingby

Supreme leader
Jul 3, 2015
1,972
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Up north
probably hard to build a connection and women don't like it because essentially you might see them as a tool to satisfy your needs which is never going well especially for well-educated ladies.
Abathur. Trust me. It is not a date. Keep thinking that way and your next post will be : “help. I have fallen in love with an sp”
They know what you are there for.
some guys go see these girls as their psychologist. Dumping all their negative energy or problems or frustrations. Or have them pretend to be their lover. Fills a hole or a void in their lives You don’t see that as using them as a tool?

My gift to you: the speech for effectively getting an sp to have sex with you as quickly as possible
Walk in. Hi my name is : enter fake name here.
she says hi i am: bla bla
You say. Damn. I know you probably hear this all the time. You are gorgeous. Wow. Such beautifull eyes!
Her. Thank you handsome! (Dosen’t matter what you look like)
Your reply here is crucial. Do you mind I am gonna take a shower to cool down. You are just so sexy

go shower.
come out wearing a towel or just pants. No boxers

put your hands around her waist and let her lean in
Tell her you are nervous and ask her to lead you to the bed

boom. There is your chit chat
 
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chowzilla

Well-Known Member
Aug 10, 2011
1,062
499
83
how my choice of time frame changed

HH - was never enough for me, because I needed the time to build up some anticipation because generally i walked in nervous in the past
(at this point I realized already that I needed to "practice" my social skills, and I noticed I had better sessions when I was at ease)
1H - was enough for me to build a rapport and get 1sog but I didn't last long
I realized I still had time to kill
1H - turned into 2sog sessions with chatting but still didn't last long
as I got better at sex
1H - turned back into breaking the ice and getting 1 good sog and I would last the remainder of the session
90min - is my sweet spot, i have time to click with the person, and get 2 good and long sogs, like a pro. I like working up a sweat.
anything more is overtime and extra mileage.

Between agency girls and indies, I'll go for the indies.
Agency girls often change agency, or go indies?
both, depends on the girl's situation

My gift to you: the speech for effectively getting an sp to have sex with you as quickly as possible
Walk in. Hi my name is : enter fake name here.
she says hi i am: bla bla
You say. Damn. I know you probably hear this all the time. You are gorgeous. Wow. Such beautifull eyes!
Her. Thank you handsome! (Dosen’t matter what you look like)
Your reply here is crucial. Do you mind I am gonna take a shower to cool down. You are just so sexy

go shower.
come out wearing a towel or just pants. No boxers

put your hands around her waist and let her lean in
Tell her you are nervous and ask her to lead you to the bed

boom. There is your chit chat
very good way to start lol, I would say this is Chapter 1.1 of the "How to hobby with SPs" manual
 
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Flyingby

Supreme leader
Jul 3, 2015
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Up north
90min - is my sweet spot, i have time to click with the person, and get 2 good and long songs, like a pro. I like working up a sweat.

100% agree with this. 90 mins and you can get 3 sog. But they feel less rushed.
mathematically
If a 30 mins session has 2 showers and chit chat. You have about 20 mins of action
60 mins. Same time. But you have 50 mins left. Which means 25 mins per sog
90 mins. 80 mins of time. 27 mins per sog. After. That the math stays about the same.
you can also take a bit more time in between your shots
 
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