Bloopers - Everyone has an embarrassing / funny sex story to share

[KingRonSanders]

Hair-pulling or Wig Pulling????

Maybe 13 years ago

I was in the middle doing doggy style again

I attempted to do hair pulling, it is one of my habits, but i pulled away her wig

 

[AirBo]

she enjoyed giving blow jobs in a row successively without breaks

So you're saying she's the marrying type?

Long ago, I had a GF who couldn't leave the house in the morning to go to work without sucking me off first. Total oral fixation! Here's a thought for her

 

[bodick7]

The lady told me vibrator is mandatory to start up a backdoor session in the camper.
Problem was vibrator was using only alternative 110 volts... She didn't like her battery one.
Before next session I bought an inverter.
I plugged the damn thing and thank god, it started to vibrate. Love these outdoor sessions

 

[AirBo]

The lady told me vibrator is mandatory to start up a backdoor session in the camper.
Problem was vibrator was using only alternative 110 volts... She didn't like her battery one.
Before next session I bought an inverter.
I plugged the damn thing and thank god, it started to vibrate. Love these outdoor sessions

My man LOL Most men are willing to go to great lengths for anal haha sorry....

 

[AirBo]

backdoor session in the camper

I bet she could suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch

 

[bodick7]

My man LOL Most men are willing to go to great lengths for anal haha sorry....

That's why I tried to make it short...

 

[bodick7]

I bet she could suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch

She got all talents.
In the end, I was pinning the trailer in shorts without panties. Kind of survivor style.
These are the best weekends.

 

[bodick7]

I was also bringing my dog with me in the camper. I did it because he was barking in the car. Poor guy just can't be alone
So the first time I did it, he came down his banquette to see what was happening when action began. She was sucking my dick and he was looking at me with his tail wagging ready to play...
I ordered him to go back on his banquette and I never got bugged again.
I did several sessions with dog besides on his couch.

 

[AirBo]

I was also bringing my dog with me in the camper. I did it because he was barking in the car. Poor guy just can't be alone
So the first time I did it, he came down his banquette to see what was happening when action began. She was sucking my dick and he was looking at me with his tail wagging ready to play...
I ordered him to go back on his banquette and I never got bugged again.
I did several sessions with dog besides on his couch.

OK about the dog thing... way too much has happened in my life LOL

I was making love to my GF at the time (yes I still know how to make love... or at least used to at the time)... she was a well known SP. (that's my bragging right, right here).. she had that damn pug... those things have way too much energy... well, we were in mish and I didn't see the dog coming from behind and he literally started licking my sweaty hairy ass LOL

Yup... I got my ass licked by a dog... try to beat that

 

[bodick7]

OK about the dog thing... way too much has happened in my life LOL

I was making love to my GF at the time (yes I still know how to make love... or at least used to at the time)... she was a well known SP. (that's my bragging right, right here).. she had that damn pug... those things have way too much energy... well, we were in mish and I didn't see the dog coming from behind and he literally started licking my sweaty hairy ass LOL

Yup... I got my ass licked by a dog... try to beat that

You have been surprised in a vulnerable position. Ha!Ha!

 

[dagreatness]

While a girl was on top of me riding she farted and it stank like no one could believe. Apologized profusely, but the damaged was done. It stank so bad that I wanted to open the window but it was winter and also ya know don’t think the people outside want to hear sex noise lol

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

This was with a not so regular at that time. After a steamy fuckfest at her incall, this girl is cuddling with me, her head on my shoulder, my harm around her. 5 minutes later she is sound asleep! I’m thinking ah well, gonna let her nap a bit, I was not really at ease but didn’t want to wake that little Angel. then I fell asleep!!!

That was awkward, but what followed was nice though.

She woke me up a few hours later saying « I’m hungry »! So we ordered some food, after eating she drags me in the shower and then gives me another crazy ride. I finally managed to get out of her place nearly 6 hours later!!!

 

[montrealrez]

It must have been like 20 years ago, I booked a room at Motel Ideal Ste-Rose and met this really hot blonde sp from Asservissante. We were going at it hot and heavy with her cowgirl. When suddenly we both smelled something burning. (To set the mood with the light, she had taken my sweatshirt and placed it over one of the bed lamps.) My sweatshirt which was on the bed lamp is literally on fire.

There were some flames. She was the quickest thinking sp I met in my life. She literally jumped off my dick towards the burning sweatshirt, took it by the sleeve, ran to the bathroom, threw it in the bathtub and turned on the water. She also opened the windows to avoid the smoke detector from kicking in.

She saved the day!!!

 

[Mandouke]

I was receiving a blowjob from a well-known SP at a local massage parlour when I looked down at my penis after she stopped blowing me only to notice that she had left the wad of gum she was chewing on firmly attached to my knob.

I watched to my horror and astonishment as she sheepishly realized her chewing gum had gone missing and when she noticed it she grabbed it and tried to discard it discretely. I feigned like I noticed nothing at all and she continued on with the blowjob.

 

[AirBo]

The prankster out-pranked (kind of)

Thought of the day: It's never a good idea to COF for the first time on your GF without any prior warning LOL she got up, pissed, and rubbed her face frantically against mine LOL

She wouldn't talk to me for a while after that I wonder why...

 

[LookAlike]

I won't name the lady

Years ago, maybe 10 years ago

I took the lady doggy style....

And she farted loudly....

Same thing happened to me

 

[Anong]

she continued on with the blowjob.

Continued with blow job or started to chew the same Gum?

 

[Thane]

Continued with blow job or started to chew the same Gum?

I believe, she discarded his knob and continued to chew the gum to blow bubbles instead.

 

[TheJames101]

During that particular time she had just gotten a tongue piercing and told me that the bj experience would be enhanced for me. She was pretty vigorous and it was not really pleasurable.

Yeah I've always found pierced tongues to be quite painful on the ol' head actually.

 

[DouMan]

I believe, she discarded his knob and continued to chew the gum to blow bubbles instead.

Ah sh.. brain fart, now I got a new image for "blow job"