Booking an indy: Tips, tricks, dos and don'ts

[annabellerileyx]

With all due respect,I concur with most of your viewpoints, with the exception of your response to the client's inquiry about menu details, where you insinuated that the client would miss the opportunity to meet you. It is important to note that this platform is not a dating site; rather, it is a service for which the client is paying. Considering the substantial investment the client is making, they are entitled to know what culinary options are available. There is no need for any discourtesy or negativity when addressing this matter.Just as you have asked the client numerous questions, it is only fair that the client has the right to inquire about the menu offerings, it should be reciprocal. Both the client and the service provider should maintain a civilized and courteous demeanor when discussing these inquiries prior to the engagement.

Many providers don't like it being called a "menu", and find it demeaning because we are not a restaurant (culinary options? ) and many have YMMV. I find it a red flag if I'm asked about a "menu" and what services I offer, it's wasting my time. I always respond by asking what they're looking for. For example, I do bbbj but I don't promise I'll do it in case hygiene or something else is an issue and I DO have to say that from experience. There are also a lot of providers who considers themselves people who give experiences and want to be seen past sexual acts only, and may be ok doing something with one person or not another, so if that's your issue then you should move onto a different kind of provider.

While I hate acronyms, I do find them useful sometimes because if something is a dealbreaker, it saves a lot of time from being wasted on both sides if I don't offer that service. I don't blame any client for wanting specific acts, especially if they know it may cost extra, or many don't offer it at all. But also, doing your research (this may be on their website already), tact and approach is key.

 

[LC18]

With all due respect,I concur with most of your viewpoints, with the exception of your response to the client's inquiry about menu details, where you insinuated that the client would miss the opportunity to meet you. It is important to note that this platform is not a dating site; rather, it is a service for which the client is paying. Considering the substantial investment the client is making, they are entitled to know what culinary options are available. There is no need for any discourtesy or negativity when addressing this matter.Just as you have asked the client numerous questions, it is only fair that the client has the right to inquire about the menu offerings, it should be reciprocal. Both the client and the service provider should maintain a civilized and courteous demeanor when discussing these inquiries prior to the engagement.

You are entitled to your own opinion may it be right or wrong.

I am telling you that many of us don’t like it. Feel free to still use that approach though.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

With all due respect,I concur with most of your viewpoints, with the exception of your response to the client's inquiry about menu details,

All she says is there are ways to inquire about provided services:

Can I know what's on your menu?
This question has probably made you lose your chance with a provider. While it's fair to ask what one might offer, there are certainly ways to ask. You could for instance, share what you like or need and ask the provider if that's something they offer

Tout est dans la forme!

 

[Fradi]

You are entitled to your own opinion may it be right or wrong.

I am telling you that many of us don’t like it. Feel free to still use that approach though.

I agree there are many polite ways to find out if what you want will be offered without specifically asking for menu items, then again the ladies that provide this type of information on their web sight may have an advantage in attracting people that want to know beforehand and are either too shy to ask or are not that well versed in being able to beat around the bush politely to obtain the information they want.
I can see both sides of the issue here.
I never ask what is on the menu, I can tell from many things if I will have a nice experience with the lady, there is all kinds of information available on their web sight, their twitter the way they advertise and if they post on Merb just the way they approach things.
I have never had a bad experience with an indépendant SP I have seen.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

You are entitled to your own opinion may it be right or wrong.

I am telling you that many of us don’t like it. Feel free to still use that approach though.

I believe that discussing the menu details is a crucial matter to address in order to avoid any unpleasant surprises for the client and the service provider after the client have already paid the service provider. Let's consider this scenario: the client is particularly interested in a GFE (Girlfriend Experience), but he’s unaware of what is actually offered on the menu. If the client proceeds to pay the service provider without this knowledge, only to find out later that the service provider does not provide GFE, it would undoubtedly lead to frustration and potential disputes. By openly communicating the menu options beforehand, we can prevent such situations from arising. While it is acceptable to inquire about personal details such as name, phone number, address, ethnicity, age,pet name and occupation, it is equally important to address significant questions to ensure both parties are on the same page and avoid any unnecessary arguments.

 

[LC18]

I believe that discussing the menu details is a crucial matter to address in order to avoid any unpleasant surprises for the client and the service provider after the client have already paid the service provider. Let's consider this scenario: the client is particularly interested in a GFE (Girlfriend Experience), but he’s unaware of what is actually offered on the menu. If the client proceeds to pay the service provider without this knowledge, only to find out later that the service provider does not provide GFE, it would undoubtedly lead to frustration and potential disputes. By openly communicating the menu options beforehand, we can prevent such situations from arising. While it is acceptable to inquire about personal details such as name, phone number, address, ethnicity, age,pet name and occupation, it is equally important to address significant questions to ensure both parties are on the same page and avoid any unnecessary arguments.

I am going to do exactly like what you did and not read your message.

You either didn’t read my initial post or have poor reading comprehension skills.

I never said you shouldn’t ask what one is offering. I said using the word “menu” is tacky and most of us hate it. Feel free to keep using that approach, some people don’t mind.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I am going to do exactly like what you did and not read your message.

You either didn’t read my initial post or have poor reading comprehension skills.

I never said you shouldn’t ask what one is offering. I said using the word “menu” is tacky and most of us hate it. Feel free to keep using that approach, some people don’t mind.

I instantly comprehended your perspective, perceiving it from a distance. Both of us have effectively conveyed our viewpoints, making our respective points clear. While I have no intention of intruding on your business operations, it is crucial, as a discerning client within this industry, for me to shed light on pertinent matters. At times, seeking clarification can prove invaluable without causing any negative repercussions. By the way, I would like to underscore the exceptional quality of my reading skills, which enable me to stay consistently ahead of the game. I find it rather perplexing why some individuals derive satisfaction from engaging in arguments, especially when I am merely expressing my opinion as a client who values constructive dialogue. I kindly request that you bear in mind the utmost respect with which I consistently respond, as it can be rather disconcerting when you choose to respond by mocking or ridiculing my input.

 

[LC18]

As shown in the replies of this tweet, everyone likes to be asked about their menu /s

https://twitter.com/x/status/1683832869624467456

This will be my last tweet on that matter because I don’t want to pollute my own thread and as stated in my initial post. Nothing you will say will make me or my colleagues change our mind ❤️

 

[DouMan]

Ok gentlemen so from now on take note that there will no longer be any "pussy eating" since it is a "diner" term. "Pussy" may also be banned shortly

 

[Anna Bijou]

I don't know if it's been mentioned and I don't understand why it needs to be.... But ffs don't send us unsolicited dick pics!

Among other things, you're telling on yourself that you don't understand or care about consent, which guarantees I'm blocking you! Geez.

 

[LC18]

That’s a very good point, thank you for bringing it up. Anything that’s unsolicited whether it’s a photo or sexting doesn’t belong in a booking inquiry.

 

[tzariad]

Def not. Respect and common sense go a long way...

 

[Blueguy]

This thread has probably been done a few times already but let's call mine a refresher.
I know a lot of you wish to make your booking experience short and sweet so let me help you.


Read the provider's website
You don't like deposits, screenings or sending your ID? Make sure you read their ads and websites as they will for sure let you know what information they require. This will save you time because there's nothing more frustrating than finding THE one, sending a message and realizing you cannot go further in the planning process. You will not make them change their mind, if they require a deposit, nothing you will say will make them skip that part.

Know what you want and ask for it
You want this to be done within 3-4 text messages/emails? Give all the information required in the first text message/email. There is absolutely no need for you to send an introduction message that doesn't contain the information the provider might need to book you. Keep your "hey what's good today?" for another day. I know you mean well and you want to make it more personal but a lof of my colleagues will see it as "time wasting" and won't even engage.

Hello so&so,

My name is Mr. X and I would like to know if you're available on [date] for a [duration] session. I would like an [incall/outcall] session. Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking.

Thank you,
X

I would like to book a provider to be my date for an event. Will I have to pay the same rates?
Trips, concerts, restaurant and all that jazz can sometimes be a puzzle. A lot of us have what we call a "social rate" which is lower than our regular rates and allow people to book us for non-intimate events such as but not limited to: business cocktails, concerts, museum dates

If you don't see social rates on a provider's website or ad, ask nicely but do not suggest a price as it is considered rude.

Hello so&so,

I've noticed you don't have social rates, I have this event coming up and I would love for you to be my date. [give as much details as you can so that she can give you a quote] Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking.

Thank you,
X

A few will have a totally different section reserved to travelling, whether you fly her to you or you depart together. If it's not there, once again ask nicely but do not suggest a rate. If you've seen her a few times or if it's something she really wants to do, she might even give you a discount. I know of a friend who really wanted to go to Toqué! so she lowered her dinner date rates but only if you were to take her there.

Can I know what's on your menu?
This question has probably made you lose your chance with a provider. While it's fair to ask what one might offer, there are certainly ways to ask. You could for instance, share what you like or need and ask the provider if that's something they offer.

"Hello so&so,

My name is Mr. X and I would like to know if you're available on [date] for a [duration] session. I would like an [incall/outcall] session. Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking. I am really into deep French kissing and kinkier things like COF. Are those things you offer?

Thank you,
X"

I am married or I have a partner. Discretion is a must for me, how do I play safe?
If you need the provider to be scent & makeup free meaning; no perfume, no scented body lotions, no body oil, no lipstick, no foundation
Let her know ahead, not everyone has fragrance free products so it's good to know a bit in advance in case they might need to find the said products. Same goes for asking her to dress more modestly if you are going to meet in public or if you want her to meet you at your hotel/residence. While none of us walk around with a neon sign that says I AM AN ESCORT, mentioning that you would prefer a more neutral outfit is totally fine.

How do I know she's not going to scam me?
Do your homework. Are the photos legit? Is she only advertising on one website? Is there any reviews? Is she active on twitter? Those are some good questions you can ask yourself before sending money. A reputable provider would not jeopardize her reputation over $50 while she can make more by actually seeing you.

References. I have never seen an independent companion before what do I do?
Some ask for references, some don't. Some will also not provide references. If you used to see someone in an agency and they have an active twitter account, you could ask the provider if they would accept to contact them on there. You should always give the most recent provider you've seen as a reference as many of us think it is strange that you always use the same person as a ref if you've seen 2 other companions after.

I'd like to bring a gift. Is that ok?
Gifts are never mandatory but always appreciated. I recommend that you either find her wishlist or ask the person directly. You wouldn't want to bring a bottle of wine to someone who's been sober for months or chocolate covered almonds to someone who is deadly allergic so always ask before you bring anything. Twitter can be a good place to find out what a provider might be into or might like.

Confirm and do not cancel last minute
I know some of you have very unpredictable schedules but as much as you can, do not cancel last minute. It's ok to cancel but you have to let them know, don't just ghost them. A lot of us have to book a space to host you and it's not free so when you cancel last minute, you are putting the provider in a very unpleasant position. Apologize and ask if it's possible to re schedule. Some might have a cancellation policy, I recommend that you read it thoroughly if you have an uncertain schedule. They will usually send you a message the day before or a few hours before to confirm, now would also be a good time to let them know if your plans have changed.

The envelope
An envelope makes it less awkward to hand cash to someone. If you meet in public you might even use a birthday card to hide the money. The provider will most likely excuse themselves to the bathroom to count the money. Is she going to run away with my money? No, not if you've done your homework and made sure she was a reputable provider. If you decide to go with the envelope, It's recommended that you do not seal it as it will be easier for the provider to count the money.


Any other questions or concerns, I'd be happy to help or clarify.


LC



Updated to add new points

Thanks for this. Always good to have some useful advice to make sure we do things the right way to ensure the best experience for everyone involved.

 

[Sexy Judy]

This thread has probably been done a few times already but let's call mine a refresher.
I know a lot of you wish to make your booking experience short and sweet so let me help you.


Read the provider's website
You don't like deposits, screenings or sending your ID? Make sure you read their ads and websites as they will for sure let you know what information they require. This will save you time because there's nothing more frustrating than finding THE one, sending a message and realizing you cannot go further in the planning process. You will not make them change their mind, if they require a deposit, nothing you will say will make them skip that part.

Know what you want and ask for it
You want this to be done within 3-4 text messages/emails? Give all the information required in the first text message/email. There is absolutely no need for you to send an introduction message that doesn't contain the information the provider might need to book you. Keep your "hey what's good today?" for another day. I know you mean well and you want to make it more personal but a lof of my colleagues will see it as "time wasting" and won't even engage.

Hello so&so,

My name is Mr. X and I would like to know if you're available on [date] for a [duration] session. I would like an [incall/outcall] session. Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking.

Thank you,
X

I would like to book a provider to be my date for an event. Will I have to pay the same rates?
Trips, concerts, restaurant and all that jazz can sometimes be a puzzle. A lot of us have what we call a "social rate" which is lower than our regular rates and allow people to book us for non-intimate events such as but not limited to: business cocktails, concerts, museum dates

If you don't see social rates on a provider's website or ad, ask nicely but do not suggest a price as it is considered rude.

Hello so&so,

I've noticed you don't have social rates, I have this event coming up and I would love for you to be my date. [give as much details as you can so that she can give you a quote] Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking.

Thank you,
X

A few will have a totally different section reserved to travelling, whether you fly her to you or you depart together. If it's not there, once again ask nicely but do not suggest a rate. If you've seen her a few times or if it's something she really wants to do, she might even give you a discount. I know of a friend who really wanted to go to Toqué! so she lowered her dinner date rates but only if you were to take her there.

Can I know what's on your menu?
This question has probably made you lose your chance with a provider. While it's fair to ask what one might offer, there are certainly ways to ask. You could for instance, share what you like or need and ask the provider if that's something they offer.

"Hello so&so,

My name is Mr. X and I would like to know if you're available on [date] for a [duration] session. I would like an [incall/outcall] session. Let me know what information you would need to complete the booking. I am really into deep French kissing and kinkier things like COF. Are those things you offer?

Thank you,
X"

I am married or I have a partner. Discretion is a must for me, how do I play safe?
If you need the provider to be scent & makeup free meaning; no perfume, no scented body lotions, no body oil, no lipstick, no foundation
Let her know ahead, not everyone has fragrance free products so it's good to know a bit in advance in case they might need to find the said products. Same goes for asking her to dress more modestly if you are going to meet in public or if you want her to meet you at your hotel/residence. While none of us walk around with a neon sign that says I AM AN ESCORT, mentioning that you would prefer a more neutral outfit is totally fine.

How do I know she's not going to scam me?
Do your homework. Are the photos legit? Is she only advertising on one website? Is there any reviews? Is she active on twitter? Those are some good questions you can ask yourself before sending money. A reputable provider would not jeopardize her reputation over $50 while she can make more by actually seeing you.

References. I have never seen an independent companion before what do I do?
Some ask for references, some don't. Some will also not provide references. If you used to see someone in an agency and they have an active twitter account, you could ask the provider if they would accept to contact them on there. You should always give the most recent provider you've seen as a reference as many of us think it is strange that you always use the same person as a ref if you've seen 2 other companions after.

I'd like to bring a gift. Is that ok?
Gifts are never mandatory but always appreciated. I recommend that you either find her wishlist or ask the person directly. You wouldn't want to bring a bottle of wine to someone who's been sober for months or chocolate covered almonds to someone who is deadly allergic so always ask before you bring anything. Twitter can be a good place to find out what a provider might be into or might like.

Confirm and do not cancel last minute
I know some of you have very unpredictable schedules but as much as you can, do not cancel last minute. It's ok to cancel but you have to let them know, don't just ghost them. A lot of us have to book a space to host you and it's not free so when you cancel last minute, you are putting the provider in a very unpleasant position. Apologize and ask if it's possible to re schedule. Some might have a cancellation policy, I recommend that you read it thoroughly if you have an uncertain schedule. They will usually send you a message the day before or a few hours before to confirm, now would also be a good time to let them know if your plans have changed.

The envelope
An envelope makes it less awkward to hand cash to someone. If you meet in public you might even use a birthday card to hide the money. The provider will most likely excuse themselves to the bathroom to count the money. Is she going to run away with my money? No, not if you've done your homework and made sure she was a reputable provider. If you decide to go with the envelope, It's recommended that you do not seal it as it will be easier for the provider to count the money.


Any other questions or concerns, I'd be happy to help or clarify.


LC



Updated to add new points

Yesssss Hallelujah
Thanks dear xoxox

 

[TooSexy4MyCat]

Great thread... At least for a guy who's more salon or agency type. Is it inappropriate to ask for a face pic before sending my ID or pre-deposit ? Thank you

 

[Giselle Montreal]

Is it inappropriate to ask for a face pic before sending my ID or pre-deposit ? Thank you

It is inappropriate. We are hiding our faces for many reasons. Sending our faces to every stranger who asks us for a photo defeats the purpose.

 

[LC18]

Great thread... At least for a guy who's more salon or agency type. Is it inappropriate to ask for a face pic before sending my ID or pre-deposit ? Thank you

Yes it is, we blur our faces for a reason. If you don’t want to send your ID, don’t. Just find a SP that doesn’t require it.

 

[TooSexy4MyCat]

It is inappropriate. We are hiding our faces for many reasons. Sending our faces to every stranger who asks us for a photo defeats the purpose.

Yeah, it makes sense. Probably similar reasons why I don't want to send my face pic, ID with my name, addresses and so on to a stranger SP as well.

 

[Rebaynia]

So I agree with most of what is stated here..
Except... I don't like the part about the don't start off the conversation with "Hi. How are you?"
honestly when anyone contacts me and gets straight to business I find it offensive, and will force the conversation to slow down and it's actually one of my red flags if they don't take a moment to talk and understand I am a real human being, and not just an object for them to play with and discard... If he doesn't acknowledge and respond to have a real conversation while inviting me to see him, then I have no interest in seeing him.. To me that is likely going to be a bad experience and I wont have any of it...

Yes this is a job, but it doesn't have to be one I hate and fear who I will meet.. I very much treat it like a dating site conversation.. I need to be made comfortable with the person before I am willing to see them.. I have had bad experiences as well, but a lot fewer once I insisted on making the person I am going to see, see me as a person and not someone who does what I do because I have to, I don't. But make me want to see you....

As for the MENU discussion... I have seen some providers list their services as a menu, with a price listed next to each activity, and time allocations for each. It really did look like a menu... but do understand that legally a menu is something that can wind a girl up in a lot of trouble. selling sex itself is illegal and could get a girl in trouble. If she is wise, and to protect herself, she MUST claim it is time paid for not the acts within that time being paid for. And with that, I don't want to pull out every trick and tip every visit. It would make the visits mundane and boring to me. Each visit is it's own visit, and every time is different. My response to a menu is often just... "I don't give ideas of what you can do to me... tell me what your looking for and I will let you know if it falls under my GFE, or counts as extra, or if it is unavailable as an option." Be honest and don't be shy asking... We likely wont know you till we get to your door anyways. There's nothing to be shy about. We also do this enough to likely know what you like, once we actually start playing together. Our instincts can likely surprise you.

Just remember when you are going with an Indy girl, you are more likely to be missing out on the experience if you only have the 1 goal of your completion. Treat her well, and you will likely get back more than you initially were contacting her for. Sure there are good and bad apples in every bunch, don't treat her like an object, and she likely wont treat you like a transaction either... Besides survival in this line of work isn't in the 1 time visits, but the callbacks, and if I (she) didn't enjoy time with you, I'm (she's) not coming back, and if you didn't enjoy time with me (her) your not calling her back either.

A very big point missed too when dealing with indy girls... She is doing it on her own.. If she is with someone she can't respond to you right away, often you have to wait for her to have the time to get to your messages.. She likely wont accept calls, because she has her own life to attend to and might be on a visit and unavailable to answer the phone... Read her profile.. she might have set hours... We need to sleep too sometimes, and it is likely your pissing her off when you disturb her sleep, which wont result in her being her best when you then try to book her. She is a woman.... meaning likely those moody traits a partner in a relationship might have.. is intensified because your not even her lover, or even likely someone she has met yet, your trying to be. Basically your dealing with a woman and you want her to be inclined to see you... That understanding needs to be realized.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

Yeah, it makes sense. Probably similar reasons why I don't want to send my face pic, ID with my name, addresses and so on to a stranger SP as well.

Every provider offers different screening methods, some ask for more information than others, it's your prerogative to choose the one that offers the kind of screening you are comfortable with!