Yeah, it makes sense. Probably similar reasons why I don't want to send my face pic, ID with my name, addresses and so on to a stranger SP as well.
Booking an indy: Tips, tricks, dos and don'ts
- Thread starter LC18
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Anyway everybody do what they are comfortable doing!
So I agree with most of what is stated here..
Except... I don't like the part about the don't start off the conversation with "Hi. How are you?"
honestly when anyone contacts me and gets straight to business I find it offensive, and will force the conversation to slow down and it's actually one of my red flags if they don't take a moment to talk and understand I am a real human being, and not just an object for them to play with and discard... If he doesn't acknowledge and respond to have a real conversation while inviting me to see him, then I have no interest in seeing him.. To me that is likely going to be a bad experience and I wont have any of it...
Yes this is a job, but it doesn't have to be one I hate and fear who I will meet.. I very much treat it like a dating site conversation.. I need to be made comfortable with the person before I am willing to see them.. I have had bad experiences as well, but a lot fewer once I insisted on making the person I am going to see, see me as a person and not someone who does what I do because I have to, I don't. But make me want to see you....
As for the MENU discussion... I have seen some providers list their services as a menu, with a price listed next to each activity, and time allocations for each. It really did look like a menu... but do understand that legally a menu is something that can wind a girl up in a lot of trouble. selling sex itself is illegal and could get a girl in trouble. If she is wise, and to protect herself, she MUST claim it is time paid for not the acts within that time being paid for. And with that, I don't want to pull out every trick and tip every visit. It would make the visits mundane and boring to me. Each visit is it's own visit, and every time is different. My response to a menu is often just... "I don't give ideas of what you can do to me... tell me what your looking for and I will let you know if it falls under my GFE, or counts as extra, or if it is unavailable as an option." Be honest and don't be shy asking... We likely wont know you till we get to your door anyways. There's nothing to be shy about. We also do this enough to likely know what you like, once we actually start playing together. Our instincts can likely surprise you.
Just remember when you are going with an Indy girl, you are more likely to be missing out on the experience if you only have the 1 goal of your completion. Treat her well, and you will likely get back more than you initially were contacting her for. Sure there are good and bad apples in every bunch, don't treat her like an object, and she likely wont treat you like a transaction either... Besides survival in this line of work isn't in the 1 time visits, but the callbacks, and if I (she) didn't enjoy time with you, I'm (she's) not coming back, and if you didn't enjoy time with me (her) your not calling her back either.
A very big point missed too when dealing with indy girls... She is doing it on her own.. If she is with someone she can't respond to you right away, often you have to wait for her to have the time to get to your messages.. She likely wont accept calls, because she has her own life to attend to and might be on a visit and unavailable to answer the phone... Read her profile.. she might have set hours... We need to sleep too sometimes, and it is likely your pissing her off when you disturb her sleep, which wont result in her being her best when you then try to book her. She is a woman.... meaning likely those moody traits a partner in a relationship might have.. is intensified because your not even her lover, or even likely someone she has met yet, your trying to be. Basically your dealing with a woman and you want her to be inclined to see you... That understanding needs to be realized.
Except... I don't like the part about the don't start off the conversation with "Hi. How are you?"
honestly when anyone contacts me and gets straight to business I find it offensive, and will force the conversation to slow down and it's actually one of my red flags if they don't take a moment to talk and understand I am a real human being, and not just an object for them to play with and discard... If he doesn't acknowledge and respond to have a real conversation while inviting me to see him, then I have no interest in seeing him.. To me that is likely going to be a bad experience and I wont have any of it...
Yes this is a job, but it doesn't have to be one I hate and fear who I will meet.. I very much treat it like a dating site conversation.. I need to be made comfortable with the person before I am willing to see them.. I have had bad experiences as well, but a lot fewer once I insisted on making the person I am going to see, see me as a person and not someone who does what I do because I have to, I don't. But make me want to see you....
As for the MENU discussion... I have seen some providers list their services as a menu, with a price listed next to each activity, and time allocations for each. It really did look like a menu... but do understand that legally a menu is something that can wind a girl up in a lot of trouble. selling sex itself is illegal and could get a girl in trouble. If she is wise, and to protect herself, she MUST claim it is time paid for not the acts within that time being paid for. And with that, I don't want to pull out every trick and tip every visit. It would make the visits mundane and boring to me. Each visit is it's own visit, and every time is different. My response to a menu is often just... "I don't give ideas of what you can do to me... tell me what your looking for and I will let you know if it falls under my GFE, or counts as extra, or if it is unavailable as an option." Be honest and don't be shy asking... We likely wont know you till we get to your door anyways. There's nothing to be shy about. We also do this enough to likely know what you like, once we actually start playing together. Our instincts can likely surprise you.
Just remember when you are going with an Indy girl, you are more likely to be missing out on the experience if you only have the 1 goal of your completion. Treat her well, and you will likely get back more than you initially were contacting her for. Sure there are good and bad apples in every bunch, don't treat her like an object, and she likely wont treat you like a transaction either... Besides survival in this line of work isn't in the 1 time visits, but the callbacks, and if I (she) didn't enjoy time with you, I'm (she's) not coming back, and if you didn't enjoy time with me (her) your not calling her back either.
A very big point missed too when dealing with indy girls... She is doing it on her own.. If she is with someone she can't respond to you right away, often you have to wait for her to have the time to get to your messages.. She likely wont accept calls, because she has her own life to attend to and might be on a visit and unavailable to answer the phone... Read her profile.. she might have set hours... We need to sleep too sometimes, and it is likely your pissing her off when you disturb her sleep, which wont result in her being her best when you then try to book her. She is a woman.... meaning likely those moody traits a partner in a relationship might have.. is intensified because your not even her lover, or even likely someone she has met yet, your trying to be. Basically your dealing with a woman and you want her to be inclined to see you... That understanding needs to be realized.
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Every provider offers different screening methods, some ask for more information than others, it's your prerogative to choose the one that offers the kind of screening you are comfortable with!
@Rebaynia this thread was created by collecting feedbacks from friends working in the industry or colleagues. It is normal that you don’t agree with 100% of what is said in my post.
I just summed up what frequently came back.
Precision: The “hi how are you?” came back very often. The people I spoke to said they like when men do that but only if it’s immediately followed by a proper request. It does make us feel more human.
I just summed up what frequently came back.
Precision: The “hi how are you?” came back very often. The people I spoke to said they like when men do that but only if it’s immediately followed by a proper request. It does make us feel more human.
Oh I get what you mean.. but have found 'hi. how are you' to be the kinder ones.. It's amazing how many people seem to try and start the conversation in so many rude and vulgar ways... when I started I didn't really like them either. I've come to appreciate it over the last year though... besides there are apparently A LOT of false ads out there, and while we might not like it, the men too don't want to put a lot of effort into messages that they don't even know if there actually is someone on the other side of the conversation to receive it. There are 2 sides to the discussion on weather it is appropriate. but I get it is often just the opening to hi is there really someone on the other end of this conversation, or am i wasting my time even just saying Hi. It's better than the opening "Are you available" without even receiving a greeting...
Thanks for sharing. My written correspondence with SPs previously always began with a "Hi, how are you?" (as that's how I begin my in-person interactions), but the question was never really acknowledged so the greeting is now "Hi, hope you're doing well". Some SPs have assistants responding to their emails and managing their bookings, so that could be why some of the correspondence for me has struck a more formal, business tone.
I also find that SPs rarely respond to "thank you" notes after sessions are over. Just an observation, not a complaint.
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Oh sorry if I'm posting another one.. but another big don't, is asking for a discount... nothing like telling a girl you don't think she is worth the price she is asking for like lowballing her price... my responce these days when a man lowballs me is. "I'm sorry but asking for discounts is rather insulting, and i would hope you don't ask other ladies or myself for discounts.. you are likely to be recieved as rude in doing so..." (taken from my clipboard in auto responces to commonly asked questions i got tired of taking the time to answer.)
It is always acceptable and appreciated (likely to get you to be one of her vip's) if you tip her well... but asking to pay less is definitely a no go..
It is always acceptable and appreciated (likely to get you to be one of her vip's) if you tip her well... but asking to pay less is definitely a no go..
It's there perogative, but personally the callback should be the goal not just the encounter... it is a professional business, but doing personal things.. it's nice to recieve messages like that and to feel appreciated for the time together... honestly it's poor self marketing to not be looking for the likely callback.
Don't stop telling them thank you... it's a sweet gesture.
It happened often i sent a note/indy after just to say it was very pleasant and thanks.......and they answered the same.....plus few times it was her sending a note saying it was a nice moment and hoping we will see each other again...and it works...lolll
of course it's business.....but IMHO it's very professional to do so.....very appreciated.....a big big plus for me.
of course it's business.....but IMHO it's very professional to do so.....very appreciated.....a big big plus for me.
Many providers have pets in their incall so it’s always better to mention your allergies in the first email or text messages.
I used to bring my hypoallergenic dog “to work”. While she wasn’t an issue allergy wise, many have said she was annoying and too curious.
“Hi! I am allergic to cats and dogs so I was wondering if you had one at your incall.”
In my experience, even if the pet is removed from the incall, their hairs/fur/saliva will most likely still be on the furnitures. If you vacuum right before the person comes it’s sometimes even worse.
Personally i agree with this statement overall but it seem in general, well especially agencies due to the volume they receive, but also a lot of indies, prefer a more straight to the point because they have to deal with a lot of time wasters.
Now of course there is a difference between going for the point politely and simply saying "hey, avai now" or any other terrible intros like this. I think saying Hi or Salut is a minimum.
That said its so different from one to another and i feel there is no exact science. I will upload my last "try" to meet someone indy. I blurred all the names and numbers so beside the provider itself wich may recognize my text (and i don't mind) there is really no sensitive infos there. I just want to "analyze it with you guys".
I came personally to 3 conclusions why communication was stopped.
1) Last answer too long. I seen some peoples who really have an aversion for anything more than 2 lines. But i wanted to be clear with the situation and show im really not wasting her time, fully intended to book in the next 2 or 3 days and was open to multiple time slots.
2) Didn't liked i said i was speaking with a booker. I didn't meant it pejoratively. Its fine to have a booker handle your ...bookings. It really just didn't felt like the SP i met the way it was answered. Very generic and almost auto-reply...
3) She just has no interest for pre-booking and is fine with meeting peoples on the fly... Wich a last answer just letting me know pre-booking is not possible would had been nice ..
Now personally i think i was direct enough while polite, didn't asked for a "menu" or anything (it was auto-sent to me). I did mentioned i met the lady before so i wouldn't be a new client. I used french because the SP in question speak french as first language. The "auto-reply menu" was also sent in french anyway so it was not an issue. Oh and no screening at all was mentioned in the ads. Now maybe i could have added a first name. Like Mike here but i do think i told her my real first name in person (always do, its no issue for me) but i wasn't sure if it wouldn't looked awkward.
Anyway looking back on it its easy to analyze it on a bunch of factors and im sure most of you will have their theories why it avorted like that, either from my options or maybe something else. But on the spot, i taught it was fine. Its a text too, not an email, much harder to all condense into 1 small message.
So base on that what should i do? Retry at some point? Just forget about it?
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It's up to you if you want to retry.
It may help to mention you have seen her before. If you had a good time together, she may look forward to seeing someone she's already been with. Was it the same number you contacted previously? (Just a passing thought of was her image and ad stolen by someone else.) Or did you contact threw a different number than the time you did see her? Also if it is her she may just have some auto responses. (I have a few commonly typed responces saved so I don't have to keep typing out the same responce over and over. )
A booker is possible for some people, but I would think it only benifits her if her booker is upfront that the person booking will have to relay the messages to her, it would also prepare you for knowing that Your messages aren't directly to her, though again mentioning you have seen her before would be a way of seeing, and judging the responce back for if it is her or not you are talking to.
No harm in sending a message and trying if she left an impression on you to want to see her again.
I did mention seeing her before and as you can see in the text, the first 2 times i met her she was in an agency (popular agency in Montreal). That was late 2019 and early 2020 if i recall correctly, before Covid. I just erased the names and number with MS paint to avoid any issues. So that former agency (wich i kept using after) have my number but thats all. Her or the MP she worked at before had not. I do not think her pictures were stolen or it was a fake add. Basically she has been on and off in that massage parlor for a few years but lately most of the ladies working there have started advertising as indies as well. Its the same account on LL as the massage parlor so i know its real.
I never got to meet her at the parlor because it is VERY FAR from the core downtown and would be a logistic hell for me. But in her ad she mentioned being close to downstown so i was like "wow now's the time".
Truth is i do want to meet her again, so i want to try again, but if same day booking with a 3-4 hours window is the only option, its once again making things very difficult for me unless im already in Montreal for another reason.
Do not derail the thread please. If you want to exchange advice please do so using direct messages
That is litterally the subject of the thread. Advice and tips are pretty similar words...
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