Could you LTR date a SP?

[happygolucky]

So how open minded are you Merbites? Could you long term relationship, date a SP? What if she was a GFE SP, would knowing that she is doing everything that she does with you, with other guys bother you? Should the SP`s just stay in the fanatasy world, hearing them complain about clients everyday & not getting enough sex on her working days, be a turn off? Would you tell yourself I can`t date her because of the health risk(very weak logic, since you are already using SP`s), or maybe you would feel too ashamed if friends or family ever found out about her, or maybe you are just too selfish & controlling to share her with anyone?

SP`s, do you allow your BF`s to see other people on the side or even other SP`s......... like a open relationship? Or do you tell them this is just work & what they want is cheating? Or is it better just to lie to them & tell them as little as possible about your work?

I have only met 4 Montreal GFE SP`s, and they all seemed just like a kind of woman I would date in the real world........ other than the fact that I normally do not date women that much younger than me. I find it is so nice to be able to talk about anything sexual with a woman, without that normal sexual hangups that we all have(until my trip to Montreal, I thought ATM was to demeaning & nasty to women, only gay men shaved their balls, or I would never kiss a woman, after a CIM), and to even laugh about what we like to do or turns us on. Even without talking to any of them about anything this personal, I know they all must have boyfriends and I would not be surprised if, at least 1 of their boyfriend`s knew what they did for a living. I now just wonder if Merbites respect SP`s as equals or do you think of them as your dirty secret? & Are SP`s okay enough with what they do, to trust men, knowing that most of their best clients are cheaters?

What about me, personally? I don`t know, like every relationship, it would depend on my experiences with that person, every relationship that I had are different. I would like to think I could, if it was a open & loving relationship........... the pro`s are huge to dating a SP, but so are my internal hangups. Still I am not in that situation, so in the end, I could not truely tell you that I am man enough to knowingly date a SP?

 

[rollingstone]

It depends on the nature of a relationship. If we are just fuck buddies, sure I wouldn't see a problem with that. But if it is a serious relationship with real feelings, then no. I don't see SPs when I am dating someone, and I would expect the same level of fidelity from the person I am with. I'm old fashioned I guess, I don't want to share the woman I love with someone else. I think we can throw hypotheticals around all we want, but you don't choose who you fall in love with, and it would be hard to imagine what you would do when you are actually in that situation.

I'm no expert on SPs, but assuming there is any truth in my observations or what they tell me, they are in this profession for specific reasons. Some may have expensive taste and need money to support their expensive lifestyle. Some may be saving for an education. Others could be saving for a house or another piece of real estate. I can't see them being commited to a relationship with one person unless that person can fill those needs.

 

[RogerRabbit]

The "L" word

The critical word inwhat u said, rollingstone, is "love". Many men on this network are in couple, and possibly a significant portion of them are in love with their wife/girlfriend. So most are not searching for love, and SPs are not there to give that either. Occasionnally, it can happen but it is the exception, not the rule.

Back to the question, I don't think I could date seriously a SP. To be in love with someone, having good sex is not enough. You have to fill the needs mentioned in the preceding post. You also have to have common grounds on interests and education. Many of the younger SPs are...too young to share interests with more mature men. And many of the middle or high-end escorts see spining as a job, which is very all right with me. So without common interests or close relationship right at the beginning, I don't see how it can happen. I think htat most of those who believe in that delude themselves. When I was younger (not so much in fact ), I almost fell in love with an MP and her with me. But retrospectively I'm not sure it would have lasted long.

That does NOT mean that you cannot feel close to an SP, even when not seeing her. THAT is another question.

 

[Bucky]

happygolucky, in your poll you should have : "i'm desperate, ready to try anything"..i would have click on this one ;-)

 

[General Gonad]

Law of Averages and the Law of Large Numbers

The only place SPs fall in love with clients is in the movies. There may be some exceptions out there but they are extremely rare. People here need a quick refresher course in probability theory:

http://www.problemgambling.ca/Resou...d_Problem_Gambling/Probability/page30431.html

It is important to understand the difference between the law of averages and the law of large numbers. From the site above on problem gambling:

"Law of Averages: Things average out over time.

Law of Large Numbers: As the sample size increases the average of the actual outcomes will more closely approximate the mathematical probability.

The law of large numbers is a useful way to understand betting outcomes. A coin on average will come up heads 50% of the time. It could nonetheless come up heads 100% of the time or 0% of the time. In a short trial, heads may easily come up on every flip. The larger the number of flips, however, the closer the percentage will be to 50%.

The law of averages is an informal approximation of the law of large numbers. The problem with the law of averages, as it is often understood, is that people assume that if something has not happened it is due to happen. For example, a person who gambles might expect that if heads have come up 10 times in a row, the next flip is more likely to be tails because the flips have to average out to 50%. Many people believe that deviations from chance are corrected by subsequent events and refer to the law of averages in support of their belief. Turner, Wiebe, Falkowski-Ham, Kelly and Skinner (2005) found that 36% of the general population believes that after 5 heads in a row the next flip is more likely to be tails. The law of large numbers, on the other hand, asserts only that the average converges towards the true mean as more observations are added. The average is not somehow corrected to ensure it reflects the expected average. The key difference is in the expectation. After a streak of 10 heads in a row, the law of averages would predict that more tails should come up so that the average is balanced out. The law of large numbers only predicts that after a sufficiently large number of trials, the streak of 10 heads in a row will be statistically irrelevant and the average will be close to the mathematical probability."

I often read some of the comments here on dating SPs and I conclude that clients often succumb to the fallacies of the law of averages.

What people tend to forget is that there are fundamental obstacles to developing a real relationship with someone you just paid to have sex with. The main one is an issue of trust. In the back of each client's head, they're thinking how can I trust her to be faithful? In the back of each SP's head is how can I trust him to remain faithful?

Real love begins with real friendship, not a business transaction where one exchanges sex for money. Sorry to spoil your dreams.

GG

 

[naughtylady]

The only place SPs fall in love with clients is in the movies. There may be some exceptions out there but they are extremely rare.

What people tend to forget is that there are fundamental obstacles to developing a real relationship with someone you just paid to have sex with. The main one is an issue of trust. In the back of each client's head, they're thinking how can I trust her to be faithful? In the back of each SP's head is how can I trust him to remain faithful?

Real love begins with real friendship, not a business transaction where one exchanges sex for money. Sorry to spoil your dreams.

GG

First Para>>>> I agree with you on this one it does happen... but rarely.

Second Para>> Personally I believe if the client is single or attached when the SP meets him makes a big difference.

I have one long time regular client who, the two times when he started seeing someone where he though things could get serious, he stopped seeing me. He contacted me to let me know he wouldn't be calling me any more at the beginning of the relationships and only called me after they were over. For him an SP is someone for in-between girlfriends.

If I started having feelings for a client like this I would not worry about his fidelity.

Third Para>>>> I agree with love beginning with friendship, but can friendship begin with a business transaction? If she were in any other business and you were a client I think this would be a silly question.

Personally there have been a couple of clients over the years who I could easily imagine falling for and getting out of the business and into a LTR with; however for several reasons, this wasn't destined to happen.

One I did become very good friends with. We hang out together, do things together and are normal friends in every sense of the word. No he doesn't pay me for my time. (Though he has taken me out to eat more than a couple of times...) Don't ask or wonder who he is because you do not know him.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[happygolucky]

Sorry everyone, I was not asking so much about love. In my question, that I did not fully explain, the SP, does not quit her SP job, but she spends all her free time with you. I think most of us could date a former or retired SP, but I want to know can you date a working SP? I personally could date someone that I did not love just for the awesome sex(like a fuck buddy), I don't know if I could have more than a fuck buddy relationship with a working SP.

Just like SP's guard their feeling with clients, I think most guys should guard their feelings with SP's. Affection is nice, but one-sided obsession is deadly. I have a feeling that younger SP's date their clients all the time, even though I think all agencys have rules about that? Attraction isn't a choice......... no, I am still not talking about love.

 

[Mike Mercury]

I wonder what names would be used when the name calling starts?

 

[General Gonad]

First Para>>>> I agree with you on this one it does happen... but rarely.

Indeed, so rare that it is statistically insignificant.

Second Para>> Personally I believe if the client is single or attached when the SP meets him makes a big difference.

I have one long time regular client who, the two times when he started seeing someone where he though things could get serious, he stopped seeing me. He contacted me to let me know he wouldn't be calling me any more at the beginning of the relationships and only called me after they were over. For him an SP is someone for in-between girlfriends.

If I started having feelings for a client like this I would not worry about his fidelity.

Your choice but despite what you think, it does not make a difference. All it does is assuage your insecurities.

Third Para>>>> I agree with love beginning with friendship, but can friendship begin with a business transaction? If she were in any other business and you were a client I think this would be a silly question.

What is silly is to equate this biz to any other biz when discussing the potential germination of a serious relationship. I can't understand how you fail to see this.

Personally there have been a couple of clients over the years who I could easily imagine falling for and getting out of the business and into a LTR with; however for several reasons, this wasn't destined to happen.

One I did become very good friends with. We hang out together, do things together and are normal friends in every sense of the word. No he doesn't pay me for my time. (Though he has taken me out to eat more than a couple of times...) Don't ask or wonder who he is because you do not know him.

I do not care who this person is. Consider it a statistical fluke that you developed a friendship with an ex client. Also, I can guarantee you that your relationship would change if he got a serious girlfriend.

I am willing to concede that in the extremely rare case that a serious LTR develops between a client and an SP, the foundation of that relationship may be a lot stronger than that of other relationships where facades are the norm.

GG

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

The only place SPs fall in love with clients is in the movies. There may be some exceptions out there but they are extremely rare.

This is a pretty absolute statement. Can you please provide documentation?

 

[General Gonad]

This is a pretty absolute statement. Can you please provide documentation?

Yes, there are plenty of academic studies to back up this assertion. Just google it up.

GG

 

[Juliana]

Yeah but fellings can change!

It depends on the nature of a relationship. If we are just fuck buddies, sure I wouldn't see a problem with that. But if it is a serious relationship with real feelings, then no.



Rollingstone!
It is interesting you are saying this because: This is what my boyfriend said when we first meet, then he realised that i am a full person, and we have been together for many years now.

Perceptions and fellings can change, as we get to know someone we learn to admire and to love them.
Or we learn to dislike them, depending on what we find out about this person.
Love is learned and some people are more lovable then others!

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

we sex workers are fun to be around!

Ain't it the truth.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Yes, there are plenty of academic studies to back up this assertion. Just google it up.

As I thought. A warm wind.

 

[General Gonad]

As I thought. A warm wind.

No, that must be the gas you're passing. Take some Tums and you'll feel better.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

Google is pretty wide. Care to be more specific?

Perhaps you can enlighten us with your experience?

GG

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Perhaps you can enlighten us with your experience?

Le Guy did not make the absolute statement. You did. Do you have any data to back up this "knowledge."

 

[General Gonad]

Le Guy did not make the absolute statement. You did. Do you have any data to back up this "knowledge."

What did I say that offended you? Do you know of many SPs who have fallen in love with clients and lived happily ever after? I admitted that it is possible but so rare that it is statistically insignificant. What documentation do I need to provide to back up this claim?

GG

 

[AllOverHer]

It is interesting you are saying this because: This is what my boyfriend said when we first meet, then he realised that i am a full person, and we have been together for many years now.

Perceptions and fellings can change, as we get to know someone we learn to admire and to love them.
Or we learn to dislike them, depending on what we find out about this person.
Love is learned and some people are more lovable then others!

Juiliana, Would there be a problem with your boyfriend if you were an escort?
Would he tolerate yhat you are having full services with other man?

P.S. I know that CAPITAL letters is screaming but in my case BOLD letters is killing my eyes. thanks

 

[johnmbot]

...it is possible but so rare that it is statistically insignificant.

i completely agree.

just because exceptions exist does not mean the "law of averages/regression to the mean/whatever you want to call it" is not correct. we've all been an exception to a stereotype somewhere and at sometime in our life. but the masses are still grouped together in the big picture.

it's a undeniable phenomenon where math meets life.