Honestly i have generally attributed prostitute as a derogatory term, almost akin to whore.. (it makes me think of the crackhead streetwalker looking for her next fix)
Even when i was younger i saw Escort as a higher class term, (it makes me think of a sexy well-rounded lady, even if she is paid for, being the arm candy and presentable to show off as your date to an event)
Service provider is a good way to cover what the job is called because technically a bus driver is a service provider too . Along with many other jobs concidered as a public service. But is a good way to be discreet in telling someone what you so for a living.. (I should probly be useing that term more often for others discretion)
Totally makes sense to use the term that you feel most comfortable with. Will also depends who you are talking to.
The term whore is used by a lot of sex workers referring to themselves, including myself - in specific circumstances. But it's never acceptable for anyone else to use is, especially if it's meant to insult obviously.
Most men AND women are so brainwashed by misogyny that even when we think we reject it, we can't help but have leftovers hidden in all kinds of places we don't realize. So no matter what, most people can't say it being 100% non-offensive. So it's our word.
I absolutely hate hearing non sw women jokingly call each other or themselves whores because you just know that a little digging would uncover the response "I don't mean *that kind of whore*" (ok so stfu and find another fake way to seem edgy. Lol)
Totally random side note - feel free to skip:
I have only one friend, who is not a sw and who is actually male, who uses the term whore and I've never had a problem with it but that is my only exception. He's uncommonly, genuinely neutral and non-judgmental about sex, which makes his use of the word really non-offensive but I don't know anyone else I'd feel the same about using the word. I've never seen anyone react with less indifference to my disclosure when I made it, he's just a different breed of human.
This is a little prejudiced of me but the strangest part is he's born, raised and lived into adulthood in Lebanon, which is not really the most progressive feminist environment, even for Christians - although far from the worst either - I can understand why he'd need to immigrate here given he must have stuck out like a sore thumb lol he hates Lebanese, Syrians, Palestinians, Egyptians, and Jordanian equally, so idk. I've never asked but Israel probably doesn't get more love either. Anyway, random useless tidbit about a tinder hook up turned into a friend for years.. which is basically my track record haha)
However I do want to bring something up Respectfully, just to give some pause for reflection.
A sex worker and a person engaging in survival sex are obviously in very different positions of power and don't have the same amount of choice. In some cases, it's appropriate to make a distinction because I can't stand here and say we ALL choose this because of ABC and its been positive for ALL of us, and seriously take it upon myself to include everyone, especially not someone who is literally just surviving, with very limited choices and in a very precarious situation, who may never chose sw, even if in a perfect life situation.
But making this necessary distinction to avoid speaking over others' and their truth doesn't mean that choosing a more acceptable term for ourselves creates a hierarchy or different classes amongst people who receive money in exchange for sexual services, regardless of their higher rates or polished branding.
I'm not sure if you've ever heard of the term "whorearchy"? It describes this imaginary hierarchy we create among ourselves (and from the outside), where different types of sex work or working environments place themselves at the top, (usually the epitome of denial, that is, sugar babies, like to place themselves at or near the top).
The lesser contact type of work, such as phone sex, OF, strippers, porn performers come below in various orders..
Then DOMMES (I had a old friend of mine become absolutely offended when I referred to her as a sex worker. In her view, she was never penetrated
herself, so how could it possibly be sex work - never mind she was pegging like mad, so even that argument was absurd but whatever)..
Followed by happy ending massage, and finally full-service sex work, within which another weird hierarchy exists within the main whorearchy: this would include courtesans, companions, "high class" escorts, mid-range, low range, and yes, what you referred to as "crackhead streetwalker looking for her next fix", or just a street worker without any drugs being involved.
(I don't think you meant any harm but just FYI to everyone who still uses this term, it's incredibly stigmatizing, derogatory, judgmental, and unnecessary. It's also very rooted in racism. I think we can retire the offensive dehumanizing term "crack whore" once and for all, for good. It's uncalled for, addiction isn't a personal or moral failing and anyone who knows even a little about substance abuse, harm reduction, and mental health knows its far more complex)
Anyway, the actual point I want to make is that the large sw whorearchy is bullshit and we need to be very intentional about catching ourselves when we do it and respectfully calling out others when they fall into the trap. I've read a lot of clients speak in terms that show they subscribe to it themselves so they shouldn't get a free pass either.
But more specifically, when it comes to the "bottom" <<full service>> hierarchy, I think it's imperative to stop this nonsense belief that because you call yourself a courtesan and can ask for rates like $2000/1hr with a minimum of 4hrs because you're "classy", you are somehow better, worth more, superior or in any basic way different than the street worker making ends meet by offering blow job a couple of evenings a week to pay for your kids hockey lessons, or a couple of times a day to support a substance use disorder.
That is one of the most delusional, disconnected, self-important division some on the "higher end" seem to cling on. The fact is we're all the same in the end, even if the privilege or life circumstances vary greatly.
Stepping on our sisters heads to make ourselves appear above them doesn't change the basic incontrovertible FACT that 2000/hr "experience" is just a dressed up $20/bj with added bells and whistles, neither of which is wrong, better, or inferior - it's just the same. A street worker is not automatically less classy than a "high class" courtesan, not necessarily smarter, well rounded or interesting to spend time with. So many so-called "high class" companions can't even pretend well enough they have much class, let alone "high" amounts of it. (Not hating on high class, although I hate the term. Just find it ridiculous that a few who call themselves HC, whatever that means, are so clearly off on their choice of branding. *hisssss*)
A sex worker is a human. A human is a human is a human, period.
So that's my take, just food for thought. Always be suspicious when someone makes a lot of effort distancing themselves or throwing others under the bus for their own benefit. Getting off my soapbox now haha
Cheers! xo
