Finding out a loved one is in the hobby...

[General Gonad]

How would you react if you found out your daughter was an SP? What about if your son was seeing SPs?

I do not know why this came to my head but I was just thinking about this and to be honest, in both cases, I would be distraught (of course the former would really devastate me). So how would you react to finding out such news? I welcome the input from all, especially SPs.

GG

 

[Canadian Joe 652]

How would you react if you found out your daughter was an SP?

I do not know why this came to my head

GG

Stop going to the movies to watch the same film over and over again, that will cure ya

 

[Fat Happy Buddha]

How would you react if you found out your daughter was an SP? GG

I hate hypocrisy above all else, so I don't think I would do the whole "No daughter of mine...." thing. Nevertheless, it might a good occasion for a long talk about condoms, safety, future life plans and maybe even a percentage (after all, those are my superior genes she'd be using to drum up business).

 

[Fat Happy Buddha]

How would you react if you found out your daughter was an SP? What about if your son was seeing SPs? GG

What about if your son was a SP? Now that would really be a kick in the ass, wouldn't it?

(And no, I wouldn't ask for a percentage, since I'd pretty sure it wasn't my genes at work. Probably his mother's fault for pampering so much!!!!!!!)

 

[bond_james_bond]

Not married, don't have kids, so I may not have an experienced opinion. But if I did, I would think that you have to let them go and be adults.

For the daughter who is an SP, I wouldn't have a problem with it if she's clearly an adult and on her own, say, 20+.

For a son who's seeing an SP, blah! As long as he's 18+ and single, who gives a crap?!

Yes, I believe that men and women are different and have different needs.

And I believe that you have to let your kids be adults and suffer the consequences, if any, or reap the rewards, if any, of their decisions.

If they're adults, they gotta find their own way, whatever that may be. If they participate in the hobby safely and responsibly, then great. If not, they will learn their lessons on their own.

 

[EagerBeaver]

well... why don't you tell your girlfriend and wife that you see SPs as one of your hobby and then observe their reaction?

GG, I agree with OL, you are uniquely positioned to answer your own question. So let's dispense with the bullshit. Go and tell them, observe their reaction, and then report back in this thread so that we have facts rather than hypothetical and/or hypocritical bullshit.

By the ways there was a thread started on this topic a while back, and there are many interesting responses in that thread. But the thread did not have a judgmental/moral overtone as yours does, rather it focused on the situational shock of learning that someone you know works as an SP. I have not been able to find that thread but there were some interesting stories in it.

 

[Hojo*]

well... why don't you tell your girlfriend and wife that you see SPs as one of your hobby and then observe their reaction?

You know what orallover...that's a pretty good response...

 

[korbel]

I hypocrite

well... why don't you tell your girlfriend and wife that you see SPs as one of your hobby and then observe their reaction?
btw, I don't know if you are married or anything.. I am just saying.. *only adding this now so that there won't be any misunderstanding of GG attacking me for revealing his personal information, in case he is really married *

Hello General,

Let me say this clearly. I am not happy about being in this hobby, but I have few options most of the time. I am single, never been married, and there are no kids. I say the latter because I know how seldom that sequence follows to be true. I have never thought seeing SPs was a good thing. So maybe I am hypocritical and maybe I am not when I say..."not my daughter"...if I had one. I don't think the hobby is good for the SP, me, you, and certainly not any theoretical daughter. I just found I can't do the celibate thing forever and not combust...lol. So if I am being hypocritical...I stand on that proudly in this case.

As for the quote above...GREAT IDEA. Consider gathering some first hand testimony if you are married and if you have the nerve. Then come back to us with the added credibility...if you survive. Sorry about sounding cold, but there it is. I don't want to see any family torn apart. Yet you could answer your own inquiry very easily since I believe you are married. Maybe you should just keep this in a supposition mode???

Good luck,

Korbel

 

[General Gonad]

As for the quote above...GREAT IDEA. Consider gathering some first hand testimony if you are married and if you have the nerve. Then come back to us with the added credibility...if you survive. Sorry about sounding cold, but there it is. I don't want to see any family torn apart. Yet you could answer your own inquiry very easily since I believe you are married. Maybe you should just keep this in a supposition mode???

It not the same thing. If I divulged my hobbying to my wife, it would only hurt her needlessly. If I had a daughter who was SPing and I found out, I would be devastated. I would feel like a complete and utter failure as a parent. If my son did it, I would be concerned but not devastated. I would rather see him get laid the traditional way so I can really be proud of him.

GG

P.S. If my son was a gay SP, I'd shoot myself.

 

[korbel]

Normal

It not the same thing. If I divulged my hobbying to my wife, it would only hurt her needlessly. If I had a daughter who was SPing and I found out, I would be devastated. I would feel like a complete and utter failure as a parent. If my son did it, I would be concerned but not devastated. I would rather see him get laid the traditional way so I can really be proud of him.

GG

P.S. If my son was a gay SP, I'd shoot myself.

Hello General,

Yes, I dont think many would react differently. Avoid needless pain and keep loved ones as far away from bad choices as possible. Damn the hypocrisy in both of us, thats how it is.

Understandable,

Korbel

 

[General Gonad]

Yes, I dont think many would react differently. Avoid needless pain and keep loved ones as far away from bad choices as possible. Damn the hypocrisy in both of us, thats how it is.

I do not find it hypocritical because we know what it's all about. There is nothing romantic about this hobby.

GG


P.S. orallover, I know you wanted put Emely of Eleganza number one but she is retired!

 

[General Gonad]

Why devastated ? Why a failure as a parent ? What does it have to do with the situation ? My dad had nothing to do with the decision I took to get in the business and in fact, I was over 18 when I started working. Its my own life.

I would feel like a failure because as a parent, I wouldn't want my daughter SPing for money. By the same token, I wouldn't want my son to sell drugs for money (this would devastate me even more).

If your dad found out, don't you think he would be extremely disappointed with you and ask himself where he went wrong? Of course he would. I think it's only natural. It has nothing to do with being of legal age; no matter how old you are, you're always his daughter.

GG

 

[z/m(Ret)]

How would you react if you found out your daughter was an SP? What about if your son was seeing SPs?

Would schwould, I have no friggin' idea how I would react. Only thing I know is I love my progeny and I'm capable of putting things in perspective.

I would feel like a failure because as a parent, I wouldn't want my daughter SPing for money. By the same token, I wouldn't want my son to sell drugs for money (this would devastate me even more).

Keeping yourself in such state of guilt is counterproductive. Failing, as a parent, is being unwilling or unable to overcome one's own disappointment so to give one's children his undivided attention.

 

[korbel]

Yep!!!!!!!!!!

I would feel like a failure because as a parent, I wouldn't want my daughter SPing for money. By the same token, I wouldn't want my son to sell drugs for money (this would devastate me even more).

If your dad found out, don't you think he would be extremely disappointed with you and ask himself where he went wrong? Of course he would. I think it's only natural. It has nothing to do with being of legal age; no matter how old you are, you're always his daughter.

GG

Hello Karma,

He's right on here. It may be your choice, but was it your goal in life? I would be shocked if it was. And no good father would want that for you either.

Regards,

Korbel

 

[General Gonad]

Would schwould, I have no friggin' idea how I would react. Only thing I know is I love my progeny and I'm capable of putting things in perspective.

Of course you love them which is why you would be very concerned and very disappointed. Come on, let's get real here.

Karma, your father isn't the center of your universe, but the truth is you wouldn't divulge this activity to him for the same reason that I wouldn't divulge my activities to my wife. You wouldn't want him to blame himself for your choices. But also think about this: if you found out your 18 year old daughter was doing this, how would you react knowing what you know? I honestly think you would be extremely disappointed, which is only normal knowing what you know.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

Disappointed ? My love is unconditionnal when I give it, and if you ask me, I would tell my daughter that if this is what she REALLY wants, that she has my support.

It is not because you are a parent that you know what your kids should do. And as much as age doesnt change the fact that your kids are you kids, it comes to a time one should be allowed to make thier own decisions and to spread their wings.

If someone would ever tell me they are disappointed with this choice I make, I would know the cost of this person's love and to be sincere, Im not interested in this kind of relationship.

Your answer is biased darling. But you are right, people have to learn from their own experiences.

GG

 

[z/m(Ret)]

Of course you love them which is why you would be very concerned and very disappointed. Come on, let's get real here.

Concerned and disappointed are two very different feelings: the former is altruistic by definition and the latter is selfish. One's reaction in regards to the events you are describing can certainly include both feelings along with a whole array of emotions. The "successful" parent, I think, is the one who finds the strength to dismiss the ambitions he projected on his children so he can look at them for what they are. Karma's post #20 illustrates what I'm saying here.

Note: there are many sides of the General's board personality (I use "board" as an oratory precaution because, as he often claims: "we don't know him") that are exasperating to a point where I've become stoic (well, "numb" would be more accurate). Here, in this thread, he provides the crowd with another sample of his never-ceasing questioning of the hobby. Since he wouldn't want to trouble the readership with complicate thoughts, our General is kind enough to provide all the answers to his own questions, answers which, should the cognitive challenged dare contradict him, he never hesitates to enforce with all the required sanctimony.

 

[sadbuttrue]

I would know the cost of this person's love and to be sincere, Im not interested in this kind of relationship.

I like the way you put that.

-Sad-

 

[General Gonad]

If someone would ever tell me they are disappointed with this choice I make, I would know the cost of this person's love and to be sincere, Im not interested in this kind of relationship.

We do not always accept criticism, especially when we are young and think we are invincible. Our parents or loved ones might be disappointed because they try to teach us values that transcend the almighty buck. At least mine did and I bet so did many parents of members and SPs here. To write what you wrote above is counterintuitive because if your parents were not happy with your choices, would you distance yourself from them - from the very people that provided you with their unconditional love?

The truth is that unconditional love does not translate into unconditional acceptance of one's choices. It often means tough love that makes you look in the mirror and accept the criticism.

GG

P.S. Ziggy, I will always question this hobby and I will never accept it as a "natural" thing. I think the minute you stop questioning it, then you implicitly accept the potential devastating effects it could inflict on countless lives. Even if I am not completely out, I am more convinced than ever that this hobby's insidious effects can lead to irreparable damage. I am honest enough to admit this. If this sounds "sanctimonious" to you or your buddy, then so be it.

 

[Special K]

P.S. If my son was a gay SP, I'd shoot myself.

If this is true, you've proven to me you're a very shallow individual and I am quite surprised that amongst everyone here, you'd be the one to say this! Very disappointing GG!