No boy, you are not a virgin. For sure (99.9%) you have been masturbating while watching porn. So, you have been already spending yourself on a pornographic fantasy.
First time sex (virgin)
- Thread starter milkman 1333
- Start date
I understand where you are coming from, and many ethical escorts would certainly agree with you, but since this is an important topic, I would like to elaborate on it and to provide a different perspective.
I am sure that some men who have decided to have their first sexual encounter with an escort have used this experience as a “confidence-booster” and eventually went on to date conventionally and then found a girlfriend or even a wife. Great. However, my personal experience and my basic understanding of how the brain works suggests that there are considerable risks with this strategy. The risk, especially for a virgin young man who is probably socially isolated, is to become addicted to seeing escorts: sex addiction. In a nutshell, this will make it extremely hard for them to form authentic intimate relationships with women in the future. Much like with online porn, escort (agency) websites provide an array of sexually enticing pictures of women who are only one or two text messages away. This path of easy reward, compared with conventional dating, runs to risk of becoming irresistible for someone who has never experienced the latter. If the person happens to have limited financials means, the consequences of this sex addiction on their lives, as with all addictions, could be devastating (not to mention effects on mental health, lost relationships, etc.)
As I said in a previous post above, this is not intended to disparage escorts in general. My understanding is that some people use escort services in controlled way in between relationships, as a complement to traditional dating, as companionship after having lost their wives (hello @Fradi ) and of course sometimes with or without the permission of their wives... When it comes to having one's first sexual experience with an escort, considering the important risks mentioned above, I do not recommend it.
For some reason, I've found myself thinking about this thread. The responses all seem sincere and the advice comes from experience. It's very interesting to me that so many men are skeptical of the OP's notion of seeing an escort. I actually agree with both Rosie and @MCTJ, as different as their takes are. If the OP wants to "take his sexuality into his own hands" (a suggestive phrase), then he should have at it. Have some fun! Seeing an SP could be good for the body and the mind. I sure have enjoyed it. What gives me pause, though, is that the OP is making a connection between the world of escorts and the world of romantic love. He's saying that his frustrations with one may lead him to the other. For me, I *never* see any connection between my pleasures in the hobby and my personal/romantic relationships. So: if the OP can disentangle the two and just have some fun with an SP, I'm all for it. But if he's thinking of seeing an SP because he's discouraged about his love life, then it's possible that he's on thin ice.
If you're looking for the perfect sp, it's Harley XO 100%, she's like a sex scientist. When we met she told me she didn't have an orgasm until she was 20 and how she can have multiple in a row now, then went over each step she took to get there. She always makes me feel comfortable and honestly I would much rather have lost my own virginity in a duo with her than with the boyfriend that I did it with... good luck booking her these days! but she's what you're looking for, if you're still looking for it
Interesting debate.
First, @milkman 1333 wants to get over the stigma. And you have a point.
I have girl friends who have stories on dating virgins.
One is a no-no.
Another friend had one guy asking if she likes it when it’s not even in. It happened in the first few encounters. It’s a smile among us but it’s no laughing matter. It’s bad for both of them, but she’s trying to be accepting. She’s shy and introvert as much as him. I guided to have lights on and change the position and it helped.
For my first friend who’s a no-no, it’s a red flag. Maybe she does not have the patience, maybe the enjoyment of sex and the confidence of scenarios is what she is into although it can be the best compatible guy.
As for addiction, milkman, it’s what you make of it.
I have a guy friend at your age who walked into a strip club, with full of lights, music, and 10/10 strippers, got hooked and he had sex addiction for the next 11 years. It was a hard heroine hit the first time. A rush of dopamine that flooded his brain. He spent a fortune that time and never stop. He is the sweetest and non-apparent guy you can spend time with.
Addiction comes of what you make of it. If you think that it’s so intense and sex is what the first time is like with an escort-porn-like-session, then, yeah most members here are right. It can drown you.
If you do it to gain the confidence and not having to say it on your second date, then do it for the beauty of it. The first time is the hardest in everything we do. The first bike ride, the first kiss, the first paycheck. Once it’s done, we go is that that easy?
You made the right choice as you said in your first post. As long as you find the partner who is open and willing to experiment with you. The issue is, in their thirties, women aren’t open to accept the non-dealbreakers anymore. They don’t settle and they are self-centered. Your dating process will be longer, and be open in your profile. There are women out there who will be grateful to accept you as you are.
PS: On another note, one guy went all in with 3 escorts at once to loose his viginity and had the most amazing time. Going to the extreme for sure.
First, @milkman 1333 wants to get over the stigma. And you have a point.
I have girl friends who have stories on dating virgins.
One is a no-no.
Another friend had one guy asking if she likes it when it’s not even in. It happened in the first few encounters. It’s a smile among us but it’s no laughing matter. It’s bad for both of them, but she’s trying to be accepting. She’s shy and introvert as much as him. I guided to have lights on and change the position and it helped.
For my first friend who’s a no-no, it’s a red flag. Maybe she does not have the patience, maybe the enjoyment of sex and the confidence of scenarios is what she is into although it can be the best compatible guy.
As for addiction, milkman, it’s what you make of it.
I have a guy friend at your age who walked into a strip club, with full of lights, music, and 10/10 strippers, got hooked and he had sex addiction for the next 11 years. It was a hard heroine hit the first time. A rush of dopamine that flooded his brain. He spent a fortune that time and never stop. He is the sweetest and non-apparent guy you can spend time with.
Addiction comes of what you make of it. If you think that it’s so intense and sex is what the first time is like with an escort-porn-like-session, then, yeah most members here are right. It can drown you.
If you do it to gain the confidence and not having to say it on your second date, then do it for the beauty of it. The first time is the hardest in everything we do. The first bike ride, the first kiss, the first paycheck. Once it’s done, we go is that that easy?
You made the right choice as you said in your first post. As long as you find the partner who is open and willing to experiment with you. The issue is, in their thirties, women aren’t open to accept the non-dealbreakers anymore. They don’t settle and they are self-centered. Your dating process will be longer, and be open in your profile. There are women out there who will be grateful to accept you as you are.
PS: On another note, one guy went all in with 3 escorts at once to loose his viginity and had the most amazing time. Going to the extreme for sure.
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