Jali - I remember, back in the day, when a girl looked so perfect I couldn't wait to eat her out...I remember thinking later that some things sound good at the moment but are better left a fantasy. However, now a days, if the girl is all done up and everything looks and smells perfect and there is evidence of good hygiene...I have got to eat the pussy.
Giving Head: "You go to my head..."
- Thread starter harwell1690
- Start date
Ladies,
Please help us out here.
We have some advice above, mostly from men. Well, Cinderella talked about how women feel about being licked, which I think is very valuable.
Much like men, you have to make love to the brains and the self-image and help them let go....as much as add a zap to specific neurons on the clit. (Ok, zap is a cool and gentle thing in this usage, not an electrical zap, which I could imagine being painful... don't know).
What advice can you share?
We need men to be better here. (I hear from women that the average man could be better. I think my sample set is decent and fair.)
Here's my deal. I used to suck at licking pussy. I have leanred a LOT. I feel bad for all the years I was bad (or not very good) and girls were nice to me.
They would give me "enough of that" with a side of "thanks for trying, appreciate that"..."now, let's move on".
Now, I can see in their faces....to be honest, the faces of some, not all....dude, whoa, you are goooddd! I see that look and I hear them say things like that.
Really, I'm not that good yet. I can tell.
And I learned EVERYTHING. Slowly.
And...more important, it's not magic. However good I might be, you can be better.
If I can learn a lot, so can you.
Is it worth it? Oh yes. Yes!!!
Now, 3 more things I have learned. (Women, please tell me if you think I am wrong. Each woman can be different. What works for one, will NOT work for all....)
1. Tell her she smells and tastes good.
She needs to know. Tell her again. Tell her "No BS, I love this." Or something to that effect. And Do. Not. Lie.
That is, don't say it if you do not mean it.
One trick. Get her pussy juice all around your mouth, and then DFK her. She'll like that. Emotionally if not physically. Well, maybe not all. Tell her you want to DFK her...Ok? See what she says. What's the worst that could happen?
2. Kiss around her clit with your whole mouth.
Wet and generous and gentle, with a little pressure. Move up toward the clit with your lower lip.
There's like a lip usually, that is part of the hood, and you want to get your lower lip under it. Gently. And gently "flip" over it. Hard to express. I think my words help. All wet and gentle. Go try. I did say gentle!
Every pussy is a bit different. Also, pussy become different as they become engorged. So the geography feels different as things change.
3. Plunge your tongue into her vagina.
Some women love this. Others not that much. Although AFAIK, no one who hates it.
And then lick up toward her clit slowly. This is commonly liked. Faster or slower. Gentler (usually) or a bit more pressure. Wetter or dryer (coefficient of friction, right).
4. Listen!!
Fuck, listen to everything. Feel her muscles tighten. Listen to her breathing. Listen for a moan, the moans.
If she starts saying stuff ("Oh, shit; fuuuccckkk, yes, oh yeah, je t'aime, don't stop" -- things like that. Almost always that is good.)
Some women don;t want to talk and say things. Still they might moan.
Some like to be silent.
So, tell her to put her hand on your head.
Here's a tell. If she pull your head into her pussy....you are doing something she likes!!
(No laughing to those experienced ones.... we're trying to help some people with basics her. This is important. And it's ok wherever anyone is. No shame in knowing nothing. Anyone can learn biology at any age.)
If she holds your hand, and starts squeezing, that's probably a good sign.
When you get a good sign, try to just repeat that for awhile. Like 15 minutes sometimes.
And sometimes, as you get better, you tease her. You find something she likes. You do it for a while (3 minutes). You go away. Do something else she likes for a while. THEN, come back to the first thing.
That teasing can be a winner.
It is kinda funny. So laugh if you want. Relax, have fun. Enjoy. Feeling a woman come is such a wonderful thing. Feeling you had something to do with it, yet more fun.
Worth repeating: No one can MAKE a woman come. Or, if for some reason a woman is not ready to come, it's not your fault. It happens. (Same goes the reverse way.)
Usually worth repeating: Most women (I think) want you to be more gentle, more slow, more subtle, .... build it up. (This part is worth doing a survey on.)
****
Ladies and Guys: Come on here! Help! Help these other men and women. Tell them what you know. They need it.
For one: your comments help me learn. and there is always more to learn.
Share.
***
Like everything in life, it's more about music and dancing than science. Still, you need to know your science. Get out the diagrams some. Think. Think enough so you can do it without thinking. Go with the flow (I mean feel her as she gets wet).
It's fun to be loved.
Please help us out here.
We have some advice above, mostly from men. Well, Cinderella talked about how women feel about being licked, which I think is very valuable.
Much like men, you have to make love to the brains and the self-image and help them let go....as much as add a zap to specific neurons on the clit. (Ok, zap is a cool and gentle thing in this usage, not an electrical zap, which I could imagine being painful... don't know).
What advice can you share?
We need men to be better here. (I hear from women that the average man could be better. I think my sample set is decent and fair.)
Here's my deal. I used to suck at licking pussy. I have leanred a LOT. I feel bad for all the years I was bad (or not very good) and girls were nice to me.
They would give me "enough of that" with a side of "thanks for trying, appreciate that"..."now, let's move on".
Now, I can see in their faces....to be honest, the faces of some, not all....dude, whoa, you are goooddd! I see that look and I hear them say things like that.
Really, I'm not that good yet. I can tell.
And I learned EVERYTHING. Slowly.
And...more important, it's not magic. However good I might be, you can be better.
If I can learn a lot, so can you.
Is it worth it? Oh yes. Yes!!!
Now, 3 more things I have learned. (Women, please tell me if you think I am wrong. Each woman can be different. What works for one, will NOT work for all....)
1. Tell her she smells and tastes good.
She needs to know. Tell her again. Tell her "No BS, I love this." Or something to that effect. And Do. Not. Lie.
That is, don't say it if you do not mean it.
One trick. Get her pussy juice all around your mouth, and then DFK her. She'll like that. Emotionally if not physically. Well, maybe not all. Tell her you want to DFK her...Ok? See what she says. What's the worst that could happen?
2. Kiss around her clit with your whole mouth.
Wet and generous and gentle, with a little pressure. Move up toward the clit with your lower lip.
There's like a lip usually, that is part of the hood, and you want to get your lower lip under it. Gently. And gently "flip" over it. Hard to express. I think my words help. All wet and gentle. Go try. I did say gentle!
Every pussy is a bit different. Also, pussy become different as they become engorged. So the geography feels different as things change.
3. Plunge your tongue into her vagina.
Some women love this. Others not that much. Although AFAIK, no one who hates it.
And then lick up toward her clit slowly. This is commonly liked. Faster or slower. Gentler (usually) or a bit more pressure. Wetter or dryer (coefficient of friction, right).
4. Listen!!
Fuck, listen to everything. Feel her muscles tighten. Listen to her breathing. Listen for a moan, the moans.
If she starts saying stuff ("Oh, shit; fuuuccckkk, yes, oh yeah, je t'aime, don't stop" -- things like that. Almost always that is good.)
Some women don;t want to talk and say things. Still they might moan.
Some like to be silent.
So, tell her to put her hand on your head.
Here's a tell. If she pull your head into her pussy....you are doing something she likes!!
(No laughing to those experienced ones.... we're trying to help some people with basics her. This is important. And it's ok wherever anyone is. No shame in knowing nothing. Anyone can learn biology at any age.)
If she holds your hand, and starts squeezing, that's probably a good sign.
When you get a good sign, try to just repeat that for awhile. Like 15 minutes sometimes.
And sometimes, as you get better, you tease her. You find something she likes. You do it for a while (3 minutes). You go away. Do something else she likes for a while. THEN, come back to the first thing.
That teasing can be a winner.
It is kinda funny. So laugh if you want. Relax, have fun. Enjoy. Feeling a woman come is such a wonderful thing. Feeling you had something to do with it, yet more fun.
Worth repeating: No one can MAKE a woman come. Or, if for some reason a woman is not ready to come, it's not your fault. It happens. (Same goes the reverse way.)
Usually worth repeating: Most women (I think) want you to be more gentle, more slow, more subtle, .... build it up. (This part is worth doing a survey on.)
****
Ladies and Guys: Come on here! Help! Help these other men and women. Tell them what you know. They need it.
For one: your comments help me learn. and there is always more to learn.
Share.
***
Like everything in life, it's more about music and dancing than science. Still, you need to know your science. Get out the diagrams some. Think. Think enough so you can do it without thinking. Go with the flow (I mean feel her as she gets wet).
It's fun to be loved.
harwell1690 I've never seen a better description/introduction/deep reflection on the art of giving a woman head. Never thought of your trick in #1... I look forward getting the chance to do that some time. Further seconding the notion that we men need to improve here; I've heard from some women that a chunk of men don't consider the mutual element of intercourse at all, to many balking at the notion of giving a woman head.
Some women I've found like it when, after sufficiently giving attention/lubricating them, you "suck" on their clit. I'm not sure how to describe it well, or even if I'm truly doing it right, but it's almost as if the clit got "hard" in some cases, and you can take it all in like a tiny popsicle. Might just be an extension of #2, but eh.
Some women I've found like it when, after sufficiently giving attention/lubricating them, you "suck" on their clit. I'm not sure how to describe it well, or even if I'm truly doing it right, but it's almost as if the clit got "hard" in some cases, and you can take it all in like a tiny popsicle. Might just be an extension of #2, but eh.
Absolutely. The sucking thing is a thing.
Vary the amount of suction. Suck it softly like you are sucking an oyster out of (off of) its shell.
Suck around there gently, and then, if she likes that, suck more firmly. Don't go crazy. Be gentle.
I am guessing part of the thrill for the girl is feeling that you want to suck her inside you. You want her that much. (Do. Not. Lie. And, if you do feel that way, say it in words too.)
Again, not good to pretend. Do something you want to do.
Women have a great BS meter. They can tell if you are bs-ing.
Show with your tongue that you care. Show that you are thrilled to watch her, feel her, taste her, come.
Thank you for reminding me of the sucking thing! Yes!
Vary the amount of suction. Suck it softly like you are sucking an oyster out of (off of) its shell.
Suck around there gently, and then, if she likes that, suck more firmly. Don't go crazy. Be gentle.
I am guessing part of the thrill for the girl is feeling that you want to suck her inside you. You want her that much. (Do. Not. Lie. And, if you do feel that way, say it in words too.)
Again, not good to pretend. Do something you want to do.
Women have a great BS meter. They can tell if you are bs-ing.
Show with your tongue that you care. Show that you are thrilled to watch her, feel her, taste her, come.
Thank you for reminding me of the sucking thing! Yes!
Nice advice guys!
My turn to share :
I stumbled upon this website : https://www.omgyes.com/en/how-it-works
My wife used to avoid me giving her oral sex. But since I've checked some of the lessons, she's way more into receiving oral pleasure. Something must be working ;D.
You have to pay the one-time fee to have access to the courses, but it was all worth it in my case.
My turn to share :
I stumbled upon this website : https://www.omgyes.com/en/how-it-works
My wife used to avoid me giving her oral sex. But since I've checked some of the lessons, she's way more into receiving oral pleasure. Something must be working ;D.
You have to pay the one-time fee to have access to the courses, but it was all worth it in my case.
One thing I really enjoy doing once my partner is fully aroused is to hold her clit between my teeth, squeeze it very, very gently
(don't bite)
and flicker my tongue over it. YMMV with this as some are just too sensitive down there but I've received some very positive feedback about it.Hi Hanna. Asking is always a good idea.
My scientific studies with a wide sample set...ok, busted....but with some ladies the body language is, some liked it.
You might be right that some in my sample did not....maybe they did not give feedback to me because they liked other things more.
I will ask...
The problem with asking is that not everyone feels comfortable talking.... still, I will check my data.
But honestly, and I am trying hard to listen, I got I thought some very clear positive feedback.
AND...it is of course fine for you to be different. Person to person, we are different. Quite different sometimes.
Do you want to be in the sample set? (Mostly joking, but I actually would discuss, and you could set boundaries, etc. most be useful to the group. We don’t have to use your name...). :smile:
My scientific studies with a wide sample set...ok, busted....but with some ladies the body language is, some liked it.
You might be right that some in my sample did not....maybe they did not give feedback to me because they liked other things more.
I will ask...
The problem with asking is that not everyone feels comfortable talking.... still, I will check my data.
But honestly, and I am trying hard to listen, I got I thought some very clear positive feedback.
AND...it is of course fine for you to be different. Person to person, we are different. Quite different sometimes.
Do you want to be in the sample set? (Mostly joking, but I actually would discuss, and you could set boundaries, etc. most be useful to the group. We don’t have to use your name...). :smile:
SolTee,
I will try watching these videos.
I remember a Nina Hartley video that was good.
My concern: I want to visualize what my tongue can see, be oriented, then smoothly do just the right micro thing.
A video seems way too far away from what my tongue can “see”....
Does that make sense to you?
The other thing that I say to myself is... I am really licking her brain....
It’s more about how the brain uses the energy that the pure local sensations...
Thanks!!
I will try watching these videos.
I remember a Nina Hartley video that was good.
My concern: I want to visualize what my tongue can see, be oriented, then smoothly do just the right micro thing.
A video seems way too far away from what my tongue can “see”....
Does that make sense to you?
The other thing that I say to myself is... I am really licking her brain....
It’s more about how the brain uses the energy that the pure local sensations...
Thanks!!
Happy,
I went to the website. I have to PAY! (Kind of laughing to myself.) I will later.
Anyway, I found the video with Nina Hartley, which opened my eyes a good while ago. I noticed that there are LOTS of things she says that I still don't do.
Oh, it's free.
Here:
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5712f4fcadf9c
Apparently there is a longer version. Search "Nina Hartley Pussy Licking" at PornHub.
Happy learning!
Two things that she says that were "new" to me today.
1. LOTS of nerve endings.
She says the smaller the clit the more concentrated the nerve endings.
She says more nerve endings means more sensitive.
I do NOT know if that is true, but I don't think she is lying and she has a clit and I don't.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Do your field reseaerch and report back. Please.
BTW, some women have pretty big clits. Everyone knows that, right?
The key result: be GENTLE. Don't attack the clit directly. I am confident that I have gotten that feedback (verbal and non-verbal) in the field.
I do think it varies. I think, typically, when she is right at the edge, fully engorged, she wants a bit of gentle direct contact. Very wet, typically.
But if I did that for a long time, it just is too much.
BTW, the clit and the clit area engorges, kinda like a dick. Everyone knows that, right?
So, think about how your dick changes, and its sensations, as it goes from soft, to medium, to hard, to "OMG, I am right on the fucking edge!" That might help.
Still, GENTLE. I think that's a really good reminder.
2. Strong moves around the pussy.
Nina grabs around the pussy in a pretty "strong" way. Not the clit, but around the pussy. The lips.
The girl she is working with likes it AFAIK. Not sure it's for everyone, but maybe, if your girl has some trust, it works well for most?
I'm doing field research and reporting back. You can too.
Watch the video, but she moves the pussy lips around so that it causes a sensation to the clit.
She puts a finger in, and pulls down, which is, she says, like having a dick in the vagina.
And some other moves.
Ok, that's the math lesson for the day. Here's some math problems, turn them in by tomorrow, and we'll see how much you have learned. (Joking, of course.)
3. The Head game.
Men and women have ideas and feelings. My saying: "I'm really licking her brain." I think it is very true.
In any sport, you want them relaxed, loose, having fun, and doing the right things. But relaxed, loose, having fun -- pretty darned important.
That means different things to different people.
She wants to know you love it. (Do. Not. Lie. Don't pretend you love it more than you do. If you really don't like it, PLEASE, do not do it. She can tell. You're making her think all men hate it.)
Some women want to feel you love her. That she is more than a pussy. Other women, I think, are more like a typical man "I don't care if you hate me, just keep sucking my dick that way!!! Yeah, and don't hurt me."
[Who knows if the average man is really that way, but thhat's the meme sometimes.]
So, some women, I think, DO NOT want you to "love" them. We're just good Yoga/Sex friends.
But most people are turned on by being desired. You LUST them. Sometimes we use the phrase "I want to fuck your brains out" (In a nice way). Lust.
All I'm saying is the attitude, the feeling she has is important. And, for some, the straight-forward, "we're just having fun here" approach that Nina Hartley has might work for some.
And I think that might NOT be the right head game for another woman.
Set a mood.
Anyway, another suggestion that to me comes from that video.
GIVE YOUR ADVICE!!! We all need to hear it. Help us.
Ladies especially.
If you feel uncomfortable, set up another account so you can talk here "in private".
I have always enjoyed DATY and always been somewhat disappointed when the woman I was with asked me not to go there or was obviously uncomfortable with it (though I always do respect personal preferences). Hygiene, it goes without saying, is an absolute requirement.
I'm not an expert, but here is what I've learned over a rather long "career", in addition to the pointers that have already been made in this thread.
1) Every woman is different! In a way, it would be so much easier if you could learn to do it right and it worked with every woman, but it just doesn't work that way. For me, though, that is a big part of what makes women so fascinating! It's also true that every man is different, but I think the spectrum of variability is greater with women than with men. So, as mentioned already, it's critical that you pay attention to body language, moans and squirms, in order to figure out what works best for any given woman; and at any given time, actually, because even the same woman does not respond the same way every time!
2) Somewhat related to the head game mentioned already, I have found that the best mindset for me is to pretend, for a few minutes, that my purpose in life is to make love, with my tongue and lips (and nose, actually), to the most incredible pussy in the world. I block everything else out and I become, in a way, a slave to the pussy I'm savouring. I don't actually feel inferior or humiliated; quite the contrary, I feel like it's a privilege. But the main point is that that mindset allows me to explore more and respond better, I think, to the woman I'm with and her current mood. I think it's because it's a way of blocking everything else out, which creates a better connection.
3) The last "trick", if I can call it that, that I have learned over the years is about looking for just the right balance between satisfying and teasing. As I progress through the process, I often try to give almost everything, but not quite everything that I sense the woman would like me to do. That can apply to speed, e.g. I flick the tongue or lick at a speed just below what I'm sensing the woman is wanting; or pressure, I apply slightly less pressure than I'm sensing she wants; or area, I almost go exactly when I sense she wants me to go, but not quite. I don't do that all the time, and eventually, when I sense she's ready for a wonderful orgasm, I stop holding back.
What I've learned over the years has not always worked, I must admit, but I'm sharing because for the most part, it has served me well.
I'm not an expert, but here is what I've learned over a rather long "career", in addition to the pointers that have already been made in this thread.
1) Every woman is different! In a way, it would be so much easier if you could learn to do it right and it worked with every woman, but it just doesn't work that way. For me, though, that is a big part of what makes women so fascinating! It's also true that every man is different, but I think the spectrum of variability is greater with women than with men. So, as mentioned already, it's critical that you pay attention to body language, moans and squirms, in order to figure out what works best for any given woman; and at any given time, actually, because even the same woman does not respond the same way every time!
2) Somewhat related to the head game mentioned already, I have found that the best mindset for me is to pretend, for a few minutes, that my purpose in life is to make love, with my tongue and lips (and nose, actually), to the most incredible pussy in the world. I block everything else out and I become, in a way, a slave to the pussy I'm savouring. I don't actually feel inferior or humiliated; quite the contrary, I feel like it's a privilege. But the main point is that that mindset allows me to explore more and respond better, I think, to the woman I'm with and her current mood. I think it's because it's a way of blocking everything else out, which creates a better connection.
3) The last "trick", if I can call it that, that I have learned over the years is about looking for just the right balance between satisfying and teasing. As I progress through the process, I often try to give almost everything, but not quite everything that I sense the woman would like me to do. That can apply to speed, e.g. I flick the tongue or lick at a speed just below what I'm sensing the woman is wanting; or pressure, I apply slightly less pressure than I'm sensing she wants; or area, I almost go exactly when I sense she wants me to go, but not quite. I don't do that all the time, and eventually, when I sense she's ready for a wonderful orgasm, I stop holding back.
What I've learned over the years has not always worked, I must admit, but I'm sharing because for the most part, it has served me well.
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