Having a lover

[maximus]

I just asking you guys out there what are the pitfalls besides geting caught by your wife or girlfreind after its made clear what the ground rules are for both.This is something I have been thinking about for awhile.

 

[chef]

Are those not enough pitfalls?

One pitfall of course is falling in love with your lover. If you then divorce your wife and marry your lover, you create a vacancy.

 

[naughtylady]

Think fatal attraction.

A favorite escort is less dangerous (she wont try to contact your wife) and you can still develop a relationship over time...


Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Juliana]

The Naughtlady is right again!

Think fatal attraction.

A favorite escort is less dangerous (she wont try to contact your wife) and you can still develop a relationship over time...


Ronnie,
Naughtylady

I think Ronnie the NaughtLady is right ! Hire an escort and keep your marriage, it is cheaper then the divorce.

I think becoming envolved with someone else while in a commited relationship is way to dangerous. In the end too many people will be hurt.
If I was you, I would clear up the air first by getting a divorce first and then get another relationship when you no longer have to report your comings and goings to no one. This way your mind will be freer from guilty.

 

[Regular Guy]

I just asking you guys out there what are the pitfalls besides geting caught by your wife or girlfreind after its made clear what the ground rules are for both.This is something I have been thinking about for awhile.

First it is a very slim chance that you will not get caught. Women are far more intuitive and can read men better than men can read women. If you get caught you wont believe the fallout you will experience. It takes a clear head and some perspective to assess what you have and what you are willing to risk. Juggling a wife and full time lover can get real exciting at times (while it lasts that is). The girls are right. Meeting with an escort the odd time is really the only viable alternative. Usually the only time the wife/lover arrangement works is when the wife secretly knows or suspects but tolerates it for one reason or another. Sometimes a person will take a lover hoping to get caught as a way out of a dysfunctional relationship. Ask yourself if that is where you're at.
But you asked about the biggest pitfall. Well IMHO the biggest pitfall, if you really think about it, is the danger of not being realistic. For example, like a kid in a candy store. He just wants what he wants and that can colour one's judgement.

 

[maximus]

O.K. so you can not have your cake and eat,not even a slice once in awhile.

 

[naughtylady]

This is seriously perplexing to me .
There comes a point that we need "real" romance and affection... along with the sexual passion and we are willing to risk it all. (Short term "fantasy" romance is fine too with one of our fine fine SP's right here... as long as we don't have unrealistic expectations.)
It may be worth it if we finally connect with someone special.
I guess that this comes after many years of "hanging in there" for the sake of the family and our own stability.

To be honest Roland, I do have a couple of regular clients where real feelings have developed on both sides. This is where it is sometimes hard to be an SP. By staying in the SP/client relationship, I know that not only am I the "other" woman but that their is no plan for them to leave their wife for me.

The rules are set by the "job rules" for example: he can call me but I cannot call him, we can only see each other when it is convienent for him, etc. We communicate regularly by phone and email. (One time I reccomended that he stop seeing me and try marriage counselling; not a good business move on my part by this was sincere concern for his home life.)

Just because it is a client/SP relationship does not mean that there is no possibility of real feelings; it just means that you are guaranteed that she wont try to ruin your personal life.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady