How do you define happiness?

[General Gonad]

Happiness is not attained through self-gratification

I will add that to depend on others to be happy is bound not to work but it is a great way to be happy. If you can find happiness on your own, in any other ways than the return affection or interest of others towards you, than you are blessed.

LBT,

Once again, I agree with you completely. Notice how people relate happiness to external factors: money or hanging around happy people. The problem is that if you're not happy with yourself then don't expect things or people to bring you happiness. I love these quotes from Helen Keller:

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

"Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

Think of that last quote and how it relates to hobbying which is purely self-gratification. I guess that is why you never find true happiness through hobbying.

GG

 

[MakeIt]

GG

You might look into reading "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert. Its not a self-help book (i hate those things) but rather a wonderful exploration of how the human mind works - we play so many tricks on ourselves its amazing. Gilbert is a Harvard psychologist who is also a gifted and very humorous writer and keeps you interested start to finish. There are many amazing things I learned about happiness in this book, but he does not claim to help you figure out how to find it. One thing that really stuck to me though is that happiness is a fleeting moment that results from whatever makes us happy. Once its gone, we're off looking for the next fleeting moment of happiness. This is perhaps what makes our lives so complicated as we never know what trade-offs to make as we look for that next fleeting moment - so many choices - could choosing the hobby, our family or work or something else. We are always in the pursuit of happiness only to find it and then have it slip away. I think Gilbert also said if we were always happy, we would become bored of being happy. So it is a state of mind, but our minds get quickly bored with the same thing and we must soon look for a new source of happiness. So perhaps while we all want happiness, what we really want is to keep finding new ways to create that moment of happiness. And of course, while looking for those new sources of happiness, we also create some misery in the process. Isn't life grand?

Makeit

 

[vodka236]

It is amazing how this thread is really bringing out, once more, the difference between how most men and most women think.
The materialist and the emotionalist.
I will take side with the women

I will add that to depend on others to be happy is bound not to work but it is a great way to be happy.
If you can find happiness on your own, in any other ways than the return affection or interest of others towards you, than you are blessed.

Vive la France

and the individualist.

vodka236

 

[CoolAmadeus]

Can you still be happy without money? Yes. Money helps but doesn't provide happiness.

Can you still be happy even if you're not totally healthy? Again, yes. There are obviously extreme situations where it could be very difficult, but I've met people afflicted with very bad diseases/conditions that were more happy than most. It's your attitude toward what life brings you that makes you happy IMHO.

Can you still be happy without love? NO!!! But most people define love only as the great love of your life. Isn't this quite limiting? What about great (genuine) friendships, close family members? Many people are very happy while still living a single's life. Love has many forms we tend to forget.

I few years ago I heard the TV interview of an older woman who was talking about happiness. I loved her take on it. She defined it in very simple terms.

To be happy you need:
- Someone to love.
- Something to do.
- Something to hope for.

As simple as that. Anything else is icing on the cake (and gives it an even better taste, of course!)

CA

 

[General Gonad]

I few years ago I heard the TV interview of an older woman who was talking about happiness. I loved her take on it. She defined it in very simple terms.

To be happy you need:
- Someone to love.
- Something to do.
- Something to hope for.

As simple as that. Anything else is icing on the cake (and gives it an even better taste, of course!)

CA,

That is beautiful. It doesn't surprise me that it comes from an older woman who has a lot of life experience. Ever notice how some older couples are still madly in love after years of being married. Yes, it's rare but it gives me inspiration.

GG

 

[Mod 7]

ZM and T76, I wouldn't want to be the party pooper but what about continuing this teasing game by PM? With all your exchanges where you are seemingly trying to arouse each other (and it seems to work ) , you are making this thread look like a chat board and the initial subject gets lost. This is also happening in multiple threads.

I will clean up this thread later (and possibly others).

Thanks for your cooperation.

M7

 

[Agrippa]

Happiness is much deeper then all that. It has nothing to do with what we have but mostly on our perspective of life and how we choose to live it. So many people dont have their health, don't have money, and are not head over heels for someone, but they can still find beauty in everything and rejoice about it.

Nicely said Maria. Indeed happiness is a choice and is independent of material or emotional wealth.

 

[naughtylady]

Happiness is money. Having money (which I use to have before I started to visit Montreal) can buy all the happiness you want.

Sorry John, but I have to disagree. I have been quite well off, and I have been broker than broke. The state of my bank account had nothing to do with my state of happiness. Happiness comes from within. If you have to depend on things outside of yourself to be happy, then happiness is fleeting at best. There are plenty of multi-millionaires who are severely depressed. There are many people living in poverty who are happy.

Speaking for myself, I have been depressed while owning a waterfront property, with a boat, couple of ski-doos, and a new car and have been extremely happy while not knowing whether I would have a roof over my head that night and not knowing where my next meal would come from.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[z/m(Ret)]

On topic

I will clean up this thread later (and possibly others).

Before you do, allow me this: Eastender started a thread in the same line of thoughts except his question was posed differently: "what do you really like?" (which many posters understood as "what makes you happy?"). My sense is this is how Nietzsche, perhaps also Montaigne and Blaise Pascal, would have asked the question. Conversely, GG's question is something Plato would have asked.

I vaguely remember a passage from Plato's Republic where Hippias was asked while facing the learned audience to define beauty. He replied (again, I'm quoting approximately) "A beautiful girl". The audience laughed at such foolishness. Nietzsche quoted this passage and explained that the fools were the ones who insisted to define beauty in general terms. To Nietzsche, beauty was indeed "a beautiful girl", the operative word being "a" which expresses the undefinable singularity of beauty.

Transposed to the idea of "happiness", EE and GG's question are interesting in a way that it brings this whole philosophical debate back on the table.

The joke translator says that "fresh figs near a tree on a sunny day" and "35mm film in a room" are only two of an infinite list of singular expressions of happiness, which make the idea of happiness undefinable.

 

[Agrippa]

[...] expresses the undefinable singularity of beauty. [...]

SOCRATES: What was that sound?

DIOTIMA: That was the sound of women everywhere swooning.

SOCRATES: Swooning makes a sound?

DIOTIMA: Apparently so.

 

[korbel]

Happiness is...

When you think about what would make you happy, what comes to your mind? Is it money? health? love? work? All these things? Or is it just making enough to spend on your favorite hobby whenever you want?

It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly how I feel after this experience. Sometimes I think back at the way I acted and I ask myself, who was that guy? Do you ever think back at an episode of your life and say to yourself, what the hell got into me?

All this to state my current definition of happiness: to remain in control of my emotional state and to reflect before I act on my emotions.

GG

Hello GG,

What is happiness? It's the freedom to choose your own path beyond any moulds or expectations preset for your life. It's being in the everlasting companionship of friends, family, and the perfect mate. It's the fulfillment in being all you ever could be. It's the satisfaction in feeling yours is a life worth living and living it to the fullest beyond the primitive instincts of hedonism, exploitation, or accumulation. Those are just parts of barbarism.

Toodles,

Korbel

PS

A cuddly puppy is good too.

 

[coonan]

Feeling like a have a purpose, satisfaction in whatever I do and the love of my kid... These all make me happy

Success and failure don't really matter as long as I've done my best! I believe that line is a load of crap because everyone wants to succeed but in reality I know that sometimes you just can't win....

 

[General Gonad]

the simple pleasures of life

Sometimes it's a nice gesture someone does for someone else that makes me happy. Beautiful. Sometimes it's the colours the sky takes on during sunsets; the colours of the produce at the market and the happy people there. Sometimes it's his smile. It passes by so many times during the day; so much beauty and money can't buy an eye for it. Seeing it, and feeling that child-like, naïve happiness as a result, only requires attention.

JAG,

There are beautiful moments all around us if we open our eyes. I love going to the park and seeing kids play. Looking at the smiles on their faces brings back happy childhood memories. It's the most beautiful thing to watch.

GG

 

[Esco!]

Yankees standing 12 games behind Boston and so on and so forth...

And the Yankees and Boston standing 12 games behind Toronto.... and so on and so forth

 

[Rango]

At peace with Yourself

Rango here,

Being at at peace with yourself and living up to the expectations of those who love you is all you will ever need.

Rango

 

[korbel]

Agree.

Being at peace with yourself. Absolutely.

But how about living up to your own expectations?

Hello Elizabeth,

I have to agree with your alternative view regarding Rango's opinion on happiness. Living up to the expectations of others would most likely mean living your life as others prefer instead of being your own person. I think I understand the sentiment Rango implies, but in practice I don't see how it could be truly your own life. Trying to be thoughtful of others reaches its limit when the freedom to choose your own path is lost.

Preserve choice,

Korbel