How to avoid isolation when the world has change so much

[vanhamm]

Sylar made a good point in my other post, but honestly the world as change so much in 30 years its only natural to adopt a lone wolf lifestyle.​

I remember picking up my first bodybuilding magazine in a flea market back in 1983 i was 11y old back then and being bullied. I said to myself this guy ain't taking no shit from nobody.

At 13 my grand father bought me my first Weider's set and i train for 3 years at home, until at 16 i got my first gym membership back in 1988. I was skinny and full of acne but the guy took me in like family, they trained me showed me how to eat, hell we were there to build muscles.

Everything took a worse back in 2000 when a lot of people at the gym acted like douchebags, I almost got into a few fights back then. Injured my back in 2002 so I was out of the gym scene for a while.

I joined a gym back in 2014 and it was even worse, the people did not go there to train, all they did was parade themselves, selfie heros, still a bunch of douchebags. After i bought my condo I built a home gym multi station bench etc and trained at home, move the gym here at my mom house so i still train at home best decision ever made.

My point is today people are just stupid, how can you even want to engage in conversations with morons like that, last time I went to metro for groceries a guy dropped some spaghetti boxes didn't even pick them back up, i did that and told him he was an idiot.

This whole woke society now no one can say nothing without being judge or offending someone, this whole gender stupidity, and guess social media did not help.

Each year i get older i change mentally and try to be better, now the fact that my friend is dating a married women and calls her is girlfriend really broke my friendship with him, honest i feel he is such an idiot and i try to walk him up, he survived cancer stomach and liver, he got divorced last year, got is life back together only to get in a relationship with a married women. This also reminds me a lot of what my ex girlfriend did after 9y cheated on me and threw me out of my house.

Honestly just before covid 19 we used to go a bunch of guys at la cage last time we went a lot of annoying morons were at the other table screaming etc.

I guess i am too much into my lone wolf lifestyle now, I still go out, I walk feels great actually, but i guess i go through life doing my things and not attracting too much attention to myself.

I have some pets, last year i loss 2 of my cats my russian blue and my calico i still think about them a lot and miss them so much, i still have 2 new adopted cats but its not the same, they all have there characters i guess, i love them a lot too, but the pain is still there.

I guess my life now revolves around them, also creating AI music on suni AI, movies and series and playing a good video game, training as much as i can and losing the weight.

For the rest i think its pretty much over if i do travel mexico on my mind will probably go alone etc.

I created this song this morning this is how i feel about the whole thing

The magic of being single V999 by @distinctivesongbooks354 | Suno

progressive, electric guitar, bass, drum, upbeat, synth, ambient, rock, art song. Listen and make your own with Suno.

suno.com

 

[envelopes]

Maybe you can find some merbites to hang out with

I mean.. people usually get their social circle from their hobbies lol

 

[vanhamm]

Maybe you can find some merbites to hang out with

I mean.. people usually get their social circle from their hobbies lol

Its weird but i been doing things on my own since i was 15, another so called friend of mine quite karate and i loved it, went alone, went to see concerts wrestling shows, guess the only thing i did not do alone back then was clubbing going to clubs.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Friend, the best advice I can offer you is to live your life to the fullest, despite the challenges that may come your way. Unfortunately, obstacles are a part of life's journey. It's not that the world is changing ; rather, it's simply a natural part of aging. As we grow older, feelings of loneliness and boredom may increase. It's important to face these obstacles head-on each day, striving to improve your life and recapture a sense of youthfulness. Following the path of aging will only lead to disappointment and discouragement.

You mentioned that you have been bodybuilding since the age of 15. Why not reignite that passion and set a goal to become the person you once were in your youth? They say that regular exercise at the gym can help you feel younger and maintain a youthful mindset and enthusiasm. Don't settle for being an average older man experiencing a midlife crisis. By putting in the effort, you can regain that youthful vigor and believe that life will only improve.

If it's within your means, I would suggest considering starting a routine of Botox and fillers treatments to turn back the clock by a few decades. I began these treatments around a decade ago, and at 47 years old, people often mistake me for being in my mid-30s. The key to aging gracefully is how you choose to approach it and not letting it affect your self-esteem. This is the best advice I can offer you, my friend. Best of luck to you, and may you live your best life despite any obstacles that come your way

 

[Sylar]

My point is today people are just stupid, how can you even want to engage in conversations with morons like that, last time I went to metro for groceries a guy dropped some spaghetti boxes didn't even pick them back up, i did that and told him he was an idiot.

This whole woke society now no one can say nothing without being judge or offending someone, this whole gender stupidity, and guess social media did not help.

While the western society might be more sensitive as a whole, I do not think that there is necessarily a degression of intellect. And as Obvio said, it is most likely you and your perspective that is changing which gives you this new perception.
Funny enough I just wrote the following paragraph in a private message yesterday:
"I used to be very extroverted and enjoyed social gatherings & outings. As I age these occasions become more rare, not due to the lack of opportunities but simply because it takes me longer to recharge my social battery. Most of the time I have had enough social interaction after a week of work and prefer spending quiet time with [my pet]. It does not mean I am socially inapt; I can still hold an engaging conversation in almost any setting with people of different backgrounds, but it is becoming more a chore each year. It could also be because I am becoming less patient and don’t have the energy to deal with certain people anymore."

Does it mean that I am also becoming a lone wolf? Maybe. But is it the world becoming a lonely place? Definitely not.

I also want to address the fitness comraderies in gyms which you have mentioned, which by the way would be a perfect place for you to connect with like-minded people, even if they are much younger. You need to keep one thing in mind though. Back then you were greenhorn and people took you under their wings. Now with 30 years of experience you should be the one guiding newcomers on their path. They might seem "stupid" to you but maybe they just need someone to lead and teach them. The same way you needed this when you were a teenager.

 

[IamNY]

Nothing wrong with being a lone wolf. Similar to Vh, I enjoy flying solo through life and other than the occasional SP for some physical stimuli, I’m quite comfortable doing so. Also similar to Vh I learned at an early age that this was my path and have always been comfortable with it. My job has me engaging with people all day long so when the day is over or when the weekend arrives I enjoy nothing more than to decompress by myself. I can also spend time in groups, dating, going out to dinner with friends, etc. so maybe I’m a hybrid wolf.

 

[vanhamm]

Friend, the best advice I can offer you is to live your life to the fullest, despite the challenges that may come your way. Unfortunately, obstacles are a part of life's journey. It's not that the world is changing ; rather, it's simply a natural part of aging. As we grow older, feelings of loneliness and boredom may increase. It's important to face these obstacles head-on each day, striving to improve your life and recapture a sense of youthfulness. Following the path of aging will only lead to disappointment and discouragement.

You mentioned that you have been bodybuilding since the age of 15. Why not reignite that passion and set a goal to become the person you once were in your youth? They say that regular exercise at the gym can help you feel younger and maintain a youthful mindset and enthusiasm. Don't settle for being an average older man experiencing a midlife crisis. By putting in the effort, you can regain that youthful vigor and believe that life will only improve.

If it's within your means, I would suggest considering starting a routine of Botox and fillers treatments to turn back the clock by a few decades. I began these treatments around a decade ago, and at 47 years old, people often mistake me for being in my mid-30s. The key to aging gracefully is how you choose to approach it and not letting it affect your self-esteem. This is the best advice I can offer you, my friend. Best of luck to you, and may you live your best life despite any obstacles that come your way

I never stop training at 47 i deadlifted 405 pounds and squatted 350 but i re injured myself so my then sport doctor told me no no for lifting heavy, sucks but i sold my squat rack and all the heavy weights i had, still have my multi station bench and dumbells now i train with high reps and near failure its an insane difference. I feel a lot better and no injured.

I am now focus on losing weight and try to regain the look i had when i had the beach body, easier said than done but working on it. For aging there is nothing i can do, but the rest its all lone wolf lifestyle. And now i won't see my regular SP anymore and am tired of paying for sex so.

And my pets are my priority of course.

 

[vanhamm]

"I used to be very extroverted and enjoyed social gatherings & outings. As I age these occasions become more rare, not due to the lack of opportunities but simply because it takes me longer to recharge my social battery. Most of the time I have had enough social interaction after a week of work and prefer spending quiet time with [my pet]. It does not mean I am socially inapt; I can still hold an engaging conversation in almost any setting with people of different backgrounds, but it is becoming more a chore each year. It could also be because I am becoming less patient and don’t have the energy to deal with certain people anymore."

Does it mean that I am also becoming a lone wolf? Maybe. But is it the world becoming a lonely place? Definitely not.

I also want to address the fitness comraderies in gyms which you have mentioned, which by the way would be a perfect place for you to connect with like-minded people, even if they are much younger. You need to keep one thing in mind though. Back then you were greenhorn and people took you under their wings. Now with 30 years of experience you should be the one guiding newcomers on their path. They might seem "stupid" to you but maybe they just need someone to lead and teach them. The same way you needed this when you were a teenager.

Man i feel i wrote this, ok for taking younger men under my wing, i already done that, but i am out of the gym scene, i just love training at home too much, i train in boxers when i want, listen to the music i want no need to change, i hit the shower and eat right after i love it. Plus i save on gym membership

I used to be extroverted too, hell i was a pro wrestler for 5 years in the indies in Montreal i have seen a lot of people, from around 18 to 30 i was clubbing dancing, met tones of people, it was easy back then now the world as change, i don't mean to offend anyone but any man who as been online dating knows that lots of those women are below average and yet consider themselves as a prize.

At 42 i went on a date with a 50y old women said to myself older might be better, she brought papers of her house how much she was worth, told me she was an alpha women in demande and men wanted her, that i was lucky she ghosted 3 men to be with me that night. You see there is reason why I stop going on dates, its meeting women like this that showed me how the world is today.

And now people tell me i am no prize to be won and i think highly of myself well of course i do, i have the right to reject women, as i been rejected many times, i have to right to find a women unattractive, and more. Why would women be allowed to do all this but not men, they get offended when they are called obese, single mom with nothing to offer but what about me when i got insulted, in your dreams honey, you are not tall enough i won't be able to wear my high heels, and a women that look like she came out of a cavern tells you that her ex was much hotter than me and looked younger yet she is in between jobs as 2 kids full time.

Guess during the time i went on dates the universe was warning me and the signal were clear as water.

 

[vanhamm]

Nothing wrong with being a lone wolf. Similar to Vh, I enjoy flying solo through life and other than the occasional SP for some physical stimuli, I’m quite comfortable doing so. Also similar to Vh I learned at an early age that this was my path and have always been comfortable with it. My job has me engaging with people all day long so when the day is over or when the weekend arrives I enjoy nothing more than to decompress by myself. I can also spend time in groups, dating, going out to dinner with friends, etc. so maybe I’m a hybrid wolf.

I do the exact same thing when younger i used to be extroverted love to meet people was nice to everyone ready to help give it my all but each time i needed help no one was there for me, so with age and life experience i became a loner and realize it was the best life for me. I don't go on dates anymore its a waste of time, plus back in 2013 i wasted 4 years trying to meet a good women and i met nothing but rejection mean and more.

 

[Sylar]

At 42 i went on a date with a 50y old women said to myself older might be better, she brought papers of her house how much she was worth, told me she was an alpha women in demande and men wanted her, that i was lucky she ghosted 3 men to be with me that night.

In your dreams honey, you are not tall enough i won't be able to wear my high heels, and a women that look like she came out of a cavern tells you that her ex was much hotter than me and looked younger yet she is in between jobs as 2 kids full time.

What the fuck? Where do you find women like this? I haven't used a dating up in a long time, but that's just crazy.

 

[vanhamm]

What the fuck? Where do you find women like this? I haven't used a dating up in a long time, but that's just crazy.

I am not lying bro i am not lying why to you think i gave up. This is my full history of dating and contact with women since 2013 you will understand why i am like this

Back in 2013 when i came back from cuba i had met a 26y old, in cuba we hit it off, i was 41, when we got back to montreal we had one night together then she told me with age and wanting kids it was not going to work between us.

In the meantime a women i used to work with was trying to match me with her friend 46 no kids, she added me on facebook but never had time for me, she was always out with her friends, after 3 weeks of chatting she said if this weekend my friends cancel i will have time for you, i told her never mind its ok (she did not seem to be interested in meeting) on a side note 46 below average once again.

I went online on plenty of fish first girl i met at a pizza hut she was 5 foot 8 chubby smoked 1 pack per day, she brought her kids, at the end of the night she told me i was not tall enough she would not be able to wear her high heels with me. Note i am 6 feet. A month later she came back to talk to me she said she was not finding what she wanted online, i told her well you got 2 kids full time make less than 30k per year, you are very average looking and smoke 1 pack a day what did you expect, this was my first contact with delusion.

A stewardess message me she said hey we are practically neighbours we should meet, I am on a redeye to paris when i come back she gave me her cell call me on Friday. So i plan the whole date call her friday she called me Michel i was like what? oh sorry i shot myself in the food, i met a guy last night and it clicked. 2 weeks later she was back on POF. So she played me good.

The 50 year old women was in a free facebook singles group she approached me, you know that story. After that i spoke with a very cute blond for 2h on the phone i want to meet you, tomorrow i will call you, never heard from her again.

my sport doctor wife wanted to match me with a romanian women, she barely spoke french and no english, when I met her she shook my hand and said i did not look like my picture, we went to moe's in st sauveur and with the little french that she knew she was able to make me understand her visa was expiring in 6 months and she needed to get married to stay in Canada. I dropped her off she never called me back and she found her man to marry down the line.

Another women approach me online, all those women were below average at best, this is what blows my mind, and they think they are entitled all those high standards. From there i met the girl i used to go to high school with 3 kids whining she never did nothing with her life but raise kids, i asked her out lets go to Mt tremblant festival of colors yes this sounds nice i want to go, never heard from her again, then she told me sorry her head was not at the right place 43 year old women.

The last one was the worst, 2 kids full time in between job, she looked like she came out of a dumpster, man white shirt sleeves rolled up i could see all the fur on her forearms, her hair was all stuck in a pack, her teeth demineralized, and a tattoo between her breast, i was like wtf am i doing her, then she insulted me my ex look a lot younger than you i want a hot guy you are not. Wow.

I went home in my condo order pizza, look at my cats plug my ps3 and played medal of honor 2010 for the rest of the day, I said fuck it, i give up life is sending me signals its that simple, how can a man meet so much dirt and not give up.

Of course this is apart the time i been insulted, even an escort once told me for what i look like i must have very low standards and she was not a prize to be won.

Suno ai as been a great way to express myself with my music of my adventure in dating and the women i went on dates with

The magic of being single V999 by @distinctivesongbooks354 | Suno

progressive, electric guitar, bass, drum, upbeat, synth, ambient, rock, art song. Listen and make your own with Suno.

suno.com

Lucy the fifty year old alpha women V130 by @giddyroots989 | Suno

Psychedelic Rock, Dreamy, Mellifluous song. Listen and make your own with Suno.

suno.com

Zita from Romania v10 by @giddyroots989 | Suno

house song. Listen and make your own with Suno.

suno.com

my last date V8 by @giddyroots989 | Suno

grunge, female singer, emotional, beat, drum song. Listen and make your own with Suno.

suno.com

I also made a song about the magic of online dating need to find it. but now you can see what i been through all those years

 

[Sylar]

I wasn’t insinuating that you are lying. But you are either very unlucky or don’t realize early enough that it’s not a good match. There is no need to invest time and energy or even meet in the first place if the expectations are so vastly different.

 

[vanhamm]

I wasn’t insinuating that you are lying. But you are either very unlucky or don’t realize early enough that it’s not a good match. There is no need to invest time and energy or even meet in the first place if the expectations are so vastly different.

horror stories like this are commun on the online dating community its sad but its the way it is. And why you go back 5 years later and see the same people are still on.

My last 2 the dental hygienist that told me she could not wait to be a grandmother at 47 and the one i met this weekend my neighbor girlfriend, friend who was in a g string, i told her that if you want to meet someone serious go get dressed, anyways, this is how it is.

A part from when i wanted to retire in the Philippines spoke to a 37y old bubbles she called herself sent me pics and tik tok video of her dancing, found real pictures of her on the net i put her on the spot she block me. So here and over the world its the same.

As i get older i realize that my looks have gone and am a far cry of what i used to be, but still i look at this world like a giant theater play, i am the spectator and keep laughing at how everything turns out. I am just planning my retirement for now its all that matters. The red pill was hard to swallow, but once you see the truth there is no turning back.

I just look at my so called friend and is married women and feel so much for him when she screw him over like she did with her husband but that is another story in this great world.

 

[cru_33]

It's really incredible how much the pandemic impacted society and our desire to be social... I grew up a social butterfly, and the last few years, even my desire to be social is way less... And I can notice a tremendous decline in my mental health when I don't force myself to be a little bit social. However, I can't imagine for those that already suffered from being an introvert beforehand...

I would say get hobbies that cultivate your creativity in a joyful way, and try to focus more on positivity, rather than feeding the darkness.

 

[vanhamm]

It's really incredible how much the pandemic impacted society and our desire to be social... I grew up a social butterfly, and the last few years, even my desire to be social is way less... And I can notice a tremendous decline in my mental health when I don't force myself to be a little bit social. However, I can't imagine for those that already suffered from being an introvert beforehand...

I would say get hobbies that cultivate your creativity in a joyful way, and try to focus more on positivity, rather than feeding the darkness.

Its not the pandemic, back in 2013 before my ex cheated and dump me we used to be very active, hiking, travel, etc, we walk 1h everyday after supper, after she dumped me i was alone, older, and every women i found did nothing, at my age i stay active but most women i met were lazy.

I bough a condo and live the lonely life, I had so called friend back in the days, but each time women were around they made me look like an idiot etc and the story goes on. So i rather be alone then with trash like that. Going to restaurant eat alone is not my thing i rather get something to eat and watch a movie on my big screen at home or play a video game no hassle, i love it that way but i do understand that some people can' t live alone they need people around and its perfect too.

I go out sometimes with friends sport bar, baton rouge, terrasse but its not often. But as i grow older its fine with me, i just want to lose weight now be healthy and be happy.

 

[MCTJ]

However, I can't imagine for those that already suffered from being an introvert beforehand...

Exactly. It got worse.