Sam! Please don't take what I say to heart. I enjoy all those things that you enjoy too. I'm a very caring person and enjoy all the aspects of being with a man.
I was merely talking about the DATY part, which is what this thread is about. Don't assume because an escort doesn't expect an orgasm that she doesn't enjoy your company too.
Giving a woman an orgasm is wonderful! However, I think all the other things you have mentioned go a long way to making the experience enjoyable for both. Speaking for myself, the orgasm doesn't define the experience between a man and a woman.
For what it's worth...Eve
To me, this post (above) is well said and IMPORTANT advice.
Focusing too much on the orgasm can be a cock block (ok, an orgasm block). Yes, as soon as I say it, to many this is very obvious.
So, I think, for many women. Better to start DATY with the notion (for her at least), that you want to give her pleasure. Just pleasure. Usually gentle and seductive. It's not all about the tongue or the clit or any one thing. Just pleasure of all sorts. Your eyes, your hands, your lips, your Fingers. Here, there, everywhere. (OK, don't move the bacteria around too many places... Sorry to say, but some could be a bit more careful, I guess.)
Enjoy and let her enjoy, everything. Or, a lot of things.
About now, worth reminding that the mind is the biggest sex organ. You are teasing her mind.
You lick for a bit, you start to get a reaction. You pull back, you ask "Hey, what do you think about E=MC(2)?" Then smile. See if she sees that (a) you ARE interested in her mind, and (b) you ARE trying to tease her also... and if she starts going up the mountain, you will go with her up that mountain. Like me, like my pussy... or that you feel that way as a guy.
Do. Not. Fake. It.
But, if you are learning (aren't we all), tell her. "I'm trying some new things.... tell me your rhythm, tell me if you like one stroke or another more. Don't hold back, tell me. I'm wanting to try new things, and wanting to try the things that work for YOU!" "If you don't want to talk, then tell me as you hold my hand. Tell me you like it, or tell me "no" or tell me it's just ok. But tell me with your hand. How you touch my hand. I will be "listening"."
And tell her about some of the things you notice. She will like that you fucking bothered to notice and bothered to tell.
A change in her breathing.
That her kegels moved
That her hand moved
That her body moved.
That her head moved
That she moaned
That she sighed
That her body just relaxed
That she said "oh, my"
Thats she said, "uooww, that"
That she said, "yes, stay there yes"
That she said "oh. my urggghh....goooodddd"
That she said "don't stop!"
That her body gained a bit of tension
That she said "oh yeah. o yeah. uh yeah. hum. humm. hummmm"
That she said...."shit....yessssssss"
That her pelvis flexed
That she said "Oh! Ohhh. Oooohhhhhhhh"
That her pussy got wet
That her lips flowered.
That her clit engorged
That she moved away when...
That she moaned...
...when I did this with my hand
...with my tongue
...with my lips
...with the humming in my throat
...with my finger
Just talk. Nothing is serious. It's all just fun.
That you WANT her. NOW. (But Do. Not. Lie.)
God, it is fun to be wanted. If it's true, make sure she knows. Say it clearly. Say it again. And say it again, and tell her it's not fucking bs.
Tell her you love her taste. "No, I am not just fucking talking. I DO LOOVVEEE your taste."
She wants to hear that. She disbelieves some. She wants to believe. She thinks..maybe is just thinks he should say that. Eventually she believes.
Fuck if that does not help her let go. I think, for some.
If she wants to control things, don't be a wimp and get your feelings hurt. It's her clit and her pussy. Trust that she knows what feels good for her.
She's not gonna drown you. You're not gonna get lost in her vagina. You're gonna learn and she is gonna rise up and ... maybe....fly.
Let her take her pussy and fuck your mouth. And rub all around your mouth. Let her go at her rhythm.
And it might get her, take her over the rainbow. Somewhere! (Ok, a different song of love.)
Hmmm. Hope those comments helped. I got inspired!
The key thing I want to convey is enough detail so that as you are licking away, despacito, enjoying and in a relaxed way imagining what you might do next to please her, -- somewhere deep in your sub-conscious, you think of these things and --- as if by magic you're inspired to try something a bit different and SHE LIKES IT! I think it needs to be said via details, and then your hungry mind, your hungry tongue, can visualize in the act, and act better. Or, so I think. Not just abstract ideas, but in breathing, tasty, wet, pulsing, sexy, hungry, dripping details. Slide that tongue, now, just THERE. And uuuppppp, and ....baaaccccckkkk!!! With a flip. "Oh!" she blurts out, shocked, and then a hiss. Pay attention. Read her body like a blind man. Read it with your tongue, or your finger, or your hand. But fucking read it. She's telling you if you listen and read.
To the relatively few beautiful women and their magical pussies!!!! ...who have inspired me so to get on this magical circle of love!!! And talk about this.
(Magical karma. You do something nice, and it comes back to you, and then you have more love to give, and then you...)
And to the other wonderful women!!! .. who let me please them, and let me learn and make mistakes. (And maybe even fail...sorry) Let me control them. Who let go in my hands. I loved you and your pussies too! Thank you!
(I loved pretty much every other part of you too. The scent of your skin, the back of your neck, your soul, your sense of humor, the shape of your hand...I noticed everything, and liked it! I loved too your imperfections, I found them endearing, and that you were kind about my imperfections.)
(Well, god, you pleased me too. That was wonderful too, but a topic for another day.)
I am deeply grateful. And you are wonderful.
