Long term arrangements

[r00t]

Are we refering here to something like Seeking Arrangement? Many SP and INdies are present on that site + few gems.

Without knowing it, I guess that is what I was looking for. I've since had a lot to read from the group here and I know even less what would work for me!

I did try the SeekingArrangement site for a bit since my original post. Its looks like its what I would want, but then I come into contact with women with unrealistic expectations or have seemed "shady" (like there is scam or its a trap).

I think I need to give some of the recommended indys on the site a chance and see how I end up feeling about that first.

 

[ShyMan]

I did try the SeekingArrangement site for a bit since my original post. Its looks like its what I would want, but then I come into contact with women with unrealistic expectations or have seemed "shady" (like there is scam or its a trap).

NPR and some of the local TV stations did some extensive reporting on that site and other Sugar Daddy sites, raising my curiosity so I signed up for SA. Prior to even posting my photos, I was getting ladies and women asking me out and some were outright asking offering sex for money. I checked out some female who were supposedly attending medical school and getting masters and PhD's in other fields, they were asking for a stipend of US$5,000 at a minimum. I soon closed my account, without completing my profile. Heck, for US$5,000, I can see so many great SP's and be happy donating to their education, rent and other necessities and leisure activities and purchases.

Smart, r00t, maybe have a heart of heart talk with your spouse and see what would make both of your happy in the marriage without necessarily divorcing and keeping your family intact. Perhaps set up separate bank accounts for fun for each; fund the accounts with the marital incomes. I'm sure you both loved each others for a long time and maybe you each need to get some space alone in a transparent manner and agree to not ask each other about the extracurricular activities each one engages in. Perhaps down deep inside, you both still love each other (or at least respect one another). It doesn't hurt to discuss it. Go out on a date at a very romantic, upscale restaurant that has private rooms and tell her the purpose is to make New Year's resolutions. Go to a neural place. One of the best things I love about the UK is that there is so many places one can escape to by car (an hour drive away from London); the UK's countryside is awesome, regardless of the weather, IMHO. If this option is out of the question then shit resort to stealth and anonymity in order to satisfy and fulfill your need for intimacy with ladies.

 

[curly]

Arrangements take 2

Hi guys!

I've been doing arrangements vs hobbying on and off for a few years now and I'm curious of what your experiences might have been. I realize it may not be for the less monogamous hobbiers. But it does have some perks!

On my side, I did meet some gold diggers, some crooks, thief, dishonest girls, but hey! We meet some of these in the hobby as well. But so far I've had two very successful and rewarding arrangements with magnificent girls who treated me like their boyfriends, with relationship not being only about sex but about sharing good times no strings attached. Was the price tag worth it? Well some of these girls ask you to give them $3000-$5000/month without blinking, and don't want to see you too often! Some of these want you to pay them for their company only, no physical contact, huge price tag! The nerves they have! But so far, I've had very satisfied SBs (the term for sugar babies!) with the equivalent of about half of what I put in the hobby and seeing them once or twice a week for 3-5 hours each time. They enjoy, even call me to go out, are happy about the arrangement, so am I. The first of these arrangements lasted a bit over a year until she moved out of town. The current one, with a girl who is also a fashion model, has been on for six months now and still going strong. I'm not saying I'll never go back to hobbying, where you get variety and excitement, but right now I get my shot when I need it and I'm happy with the situation.

While I was working in Eastern Europe I've had a few of these as well. Shorter terms, as I was there for 2-3 months at the time. But it seems that many young non-pro girls over there are quite alright with having an older "sponsor". Seemed to me more part of their ways of life, I don't know why. But talk about stunningly gorgeous girl, top model material, considering themselves just "normal girls"..... And these girls accept your contribution more as a gift than as something you owe them: They truly appreciate it. That lack of sense of entitlement actually makes you want to be more generous with them!

Anyhow, what about you guys? Ever been into this? And you ladies? Ever considered this or lived it? How was it?

 

[starry]

Curly I am not at all surprised by your experience. I think it can be an upgrade to the basic encounters we have with other SPs where sex is by far the main reason for the time spent together. Arrangements can be attractive to clients who look for more than just sex (however good it might be). And all kinds of different relationships and protocols can exist under the "arrangement" umbrella. My most important SP relationship is with a professional working girl. She is busy so we can usually only get together one day and evening a week. When we do she benefits to the tune of a nice dinner with the occasional gift after shopping together, but for me this is pretty much how I have conducted myself with any of the girls I have frequented in my life. We do not always have sex but when we do I pay her normal rate though I hasten to add this was something I insisted on, not her. I also continue to incall with her professionally but less than I did before I began seeing her away from the office. So all in all this arrangement continues to have a commercial aspect and therefore differs somewhat from a "legit" relationship. Also of course it is non-exclusive for both participants (getting laid is her job after all, and I have excellent more conventional SP relationships that I am not at all interested in giving up). However the flow of affection and fellow feeling is mutual and entirely genuine. We are friends and we care about one another. As you know, it is imperative to find the right person and this is not always easy or sometimes even possible, but when it works out I personally rate the experience as better than even the best that normal course hobbying has to offer, though maybe its just different in kind-I'm not entirely sure.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

If you want a long term arrangement get married. Just my opinion but I see escorts ( not the main reason but ) for variety, I had an ATF which I seen the majority of the time but would never do a long term with anyone.

 

[curly]

If you want a long term arrangement get married. Just my opinion but I see escorts ( not the main reason but ) for variety, I had an ATF which I seen the majority of the time but would never do a long term with anyone.

Lol! I guess you've never been married and going through a divorce.... that is much more expensive than ending any arrangement! I've had badluck with the wifes, depression, mental health issues after a few years, and they both left me naked in the street after divorce, so no more of this thank you very much! Laws in Quebec favor the one in the couple who is lazy by allowing him/her to tap into half of the "family patrimony" of the hard working one, even when there are no "family" per se.... but that's for another thread! By the way, that's something I always try to make clear from the beginning with potential SB: how does any one of us end this relationship, and how can we do it without tearing each other apart. Good termination clause, just like with any good contract. It's proven a useful conversation both for selecting and testing the SB. When you see her getting reluctant, saying she'd counting on your long term commitment, run away fast!

I agree that it's not for those seeking variety. But I see so many people here seeking GFE, and a good arrangement is VERY GFE, and feels more genuine if you do connect with your gal. And it's no strings attached: you can still see other escorts if you wanted to. You get both sex and company, but on your terms. She gets comfort, income safety, good companionship and even mentorship (yes, sometimes they ask for your advice on stuff...) on her own terms as well. Win-win.

Anyhow, maybe you'll read me writing something different when this arrangement ends, but right now it's not to shabby at all!

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Lol! I guess you've never been married and going through a divorce...!

Been there, done that. I meant that I would not look for a long term SP arrangement, dedicated myself to one person while I was married, if you see SP's why stick with only one.
And yes, my divorce cost me a lot, could have kept me in escorts for years.

 

[curly]

And yes, my divorce cost me a lot, could have kept me in escorts for years.

Why don't men learn their lessons..... mariage is a trap! So many of us fall in it!

 

[jalimon]

Why don't men learn their lessons..... mariage is a trap! So many of us fall in it!

Because when you love you dont count, that's why

Cheers,

 

[starry]

Because when you love you dont count, that's why

Cheers,

True but unfortunately neither can you count on love.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Why don't men learn their lessons..... mariage is a trap! So many of us fall in it!

All was great until she started meds from a doctor, went into a tailspin after that. The best thing that came out of it was my kids which are my joy, even if you do not get married, stick around long enough and you are on the hook for payments ( Alberta anyway ).

 

[jalimon]

All was great until she started meds from a doctor, went into a tailspin after that. The best thing that came out of it was my kids which are my joy, even if you do not get married, stick around long enough and you are on the hook for payments ( Alberta anyway ).

Here too in Quebec but only if you have kids. Best thing for me also is that I came out with 2 beautiful and bright kids There is no price for that.

True but unfortunately neither can you count on love.

haha good one. I guess I missed that part...

Very interesting thread.

Cheers,

 

[curly]

Thanks for sharing this Sam21. Although this is not a thread to talk about the merits of marriage, you are discussing the merits of long term relationships. Although I doubt that my arrangement will last 30 years...... But I think you will agree that marriage with some more calculating and abusive ladies certainly makes it look like a business deal that leaves you bankrupted rather than a values and heart thing.....

Anohow, anobody else would like to share their arrangement experience, for the better and for worst?

 

[curly]

Thanks so much Rumpleforeskiin for your candid frankness! Sounds very much like what I've been through... trials and errors until you find the gem. But when you found her, it's a satisfying relationship without the drama, jealousies, pressures of "standard" relationships.

Anyone else?

 

[CoolAmadeus]

Anyone else?

Been in the hobby for many many years, on and off. Been quiet for the last 10 years, being remarried with a wonderful woman. Yeah, some of you will ask: "You didn't learn the first time"? But when love knocks on the door, it's hard to resist! However, once a hobbyist, there's always a little something that keeps pulling you in here.

I've been in a friend with benefits relationship during about 8 months in 2016. She was a dream to be with, very nice woman. We would see each other a few times a week at the beginning, have breakfast together, spend the whole morning, have sex multiple times, discuss about our respective lives, being the confident of one another, etc. We had a monthly arrangement, and it felt like I was really helping her. We became very good friends, and even if our arrangement ended at some point, we are still in contact and sometime just have lunch together to share our respective stories. Even though she's much younger than me, I fell we'll remain friends foreever, or so I hope!

In fall I registered on SeekingArrangement. Those of you thinking it's only fake women and gold diggers, you just got unlucky. Yes there definitely are gold diggers on that site, as well as thiefs, and escorts trying to attract clients, posing as regular women. But once you get used to how everything works on the site, you can quickly identify who are legitimate women and who are potential troubles. Those who know me know I've had my share of trouble with women in this hobby, and I'm not as gullible as before. Live and learn I guess!

We may all have different goals: Meet as many women as possible, like SPs, or favor quality over quantity. I'm more of the later. I'm looking for ONE woman to share nice moments with, and her being my mistress sort of speak. I could look for a mistress my age and it would probably cost a lot less, but I love a woman in her 30's. At that age they know their sexuallity very well, they are beautiful, and are still young and willing to enjoy those pleasures without complicating their life too much.

I met a number of women on SeekingArrangement at the beginning, trying to find the perfect one. Their background range from unemployed to being students, secretaries, musicians, paint artists, gymnasts, insurance brokers, administrative assistants, and all kinds of life paths. I even met a very very smart medical student who was studying for being a heart surgeon. Regular women, but also EXCEPTIONAL ones. Some of these women are there mainly for the money aspect, but others are there because they have a busy life restricting them from meeting, while still wanting pleasures and spice in their life, but hate the bar scene and what not, and the arrangement is just a way to keep a distance while still getting what they want...

As I said, I have met a number of women there, and some were just OUTSTANDING! One of them was a gymnast, had a body "coupée au couteau", was very willing, and I could almost not fulfill her desires. In a two-three hours meeting with her, she'd typically want to have sex 3 - 4 - 5 times! Geez, I'm still good, but hold on a little! LOL The one I'm with right now, she's more sensual, intense, she reacts to everything I do, very affectionate. We've having lunch regularly, going to movies once in a while, I met her kid, I'm going to help her move at the end of the month (daytime, while I'm supposed to be "at work"). Anyhow, it's the kind of relationship where you get to know each other, get to appreciate each other for more than just sex, when trust builds up. Does that mean I'm exclusive to her? Nope. Although she fullfils 95% of my desires, the 5% being only when I feel too horny and she's at work or otherwise not available. Then I might go to a massage place or something, but it's kinda rare.

Bottom line, they are women, beautiful, loving, interresting, personnable, smart. If you demonstrate a minimum of respect for them, as with ANY relation with ANY individual, you will end up meeting wonderful human beings. They are also looking to find the perfect gentleman, and if you happen to be this gentleman, enjoy the ride!

CA

 

[cloudsurf]

CA just make sure that you don`t co-sign for their loans.

 

[curly]

CA just make sure that you don`t co-sign for their loans.

Lol! That's precisely the difference between a wife and an arrangement..... wifes will use emotional pressures to get your signature, while with arrangement, you can make financial parameters very clear.

That being said, I wholeheartedly agree with Sam21 that there are a bunch of Douchebags around that women are stuck married with.... it's not better on the other side of the fence....

So, ladies who are stuck with one of those, I offer my services should you need an arrangement!

 

[ssj3]

Unfortunately most women are attracted to jerks/douche bags and will not give a genetleman the time of day. Some of them do end up growing out of this phase but some inevitably are stuck in it and will always complain about never being able to find a good guy when she's been shooting them down all her life in favor of the asshole that treats her like shit. It's hard to say but the saying "nice guys finish last" is definitely true.

 

[CaptRenault]

...After several marriages and a decade and a half of playing with escorts, some of whom I saw regularly, I decided a couple of years ago to dip my toes into the arrangement pool. I’ll describe the three experiences that went beyond the introductory dinner...

Been in the hobby for many many years, on and off. Been quiet for the last 10 years, being remarried with a wonderful woman. Yeah, some of you will ask: "You didn't learn the first time"? But when love knocks on the door, it's hard to resist! However, once a hobbyist, there's always a little something that keeps pulling you in here.

I've been in a friend with benefits relationship during about 8 months in 2016...

Gentlemen, great to see both of you fellow old-timers back, even if it's just for a short visit. But I would be glad to see both of you continue to contribute your wisdom to MERB. You both have interesting stories to tell about "arrangements."

One minor point, CA-in English "friend with benefits" generally does not refer to a relationship where money is exchanged for companionship and/or sex.

FWB=free sex with no romantic connection, a type of relationship that guys always think is great and in which women occasionally engage in hopes of turning the relationship into a romantic one. :smile:

Once you work out a deal for money, then it's either prostitution or a "sugar daddy/baby" relationship. Of course, some say there is really no difference between those two things, but I think there is.

 

[CoolAmadeus]

CA just make sure that you don`t co-sign for their loans.

Funny! I expected a comment relating to that! LOL

Nahhhh! Don't worry, no more appartment rents, no more car loans!