Looking for help overcoming ‘happy ending addiction’

[Gav]

I’m sorry if this post goes completely against what would normally be talked about here but I don’t know where else to turn.

im a 21 year old male and have been getting services from massage parlours and independents for over a few years now. Been probably dozens of times and obviously have spend thousands of dollars.

I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with this, my problem is just that I feel as though I’m physically dependent (as crazy as that may sound) to these services. I get strong almost irresistible urges every month to go to a parlour or incall and the only way to make these urges go completely away is to get the service done and then I’ll generally have a couple weeks of peace until the urge comes back. I feel this might not be the healthiest thing, most importantly because I’m relatively broke at this stage in my life, barely have any savings and don’t really have the income to justifiably pay 100 bucks or so per month just to get this specific kind of addiction temporarily calmed down.

ideally I’d like to get to a place where I’m only getting a massage as a celebratory event a couple times a year or maybe even not at all until I can comfortably afford it without it having to even be a second thought from a financial point of view. Does anyone have any advice to help me reach that point and beat this addiction?

 

[magnumrt1]

Porn videos and masturbation.

 

[testingsite]

I do not think your situation is even remotely related to any kind of addiction. I remember, back when I was 21, I need to see a girl/masturbate every day.

BTW, did you give up on finding yourself a girlfriend? Now that curfew ended and covid situation is getting better, you probably now have a better chance to find a new girlfriend.

Also, can not you find any part time job from which you can get extra 100 bucks per month?

 

[Gav]

Porn videos and masturbation.

Yah that’s definitely one solution. Just feel like I’m better with real life women and more energetic and such overall for whatever reason when I’m not masterbating or watching porn

 

[Flyingby]

Buy yourself a fleshlight

 

[honda1]

hello gav , do you have a place close to west island that offers services in that price , or in west island , with a good massage thank you

 

[Gav]

I do not think your situation is even remotely related to any kind of addiction. I remember, back when I was 21, I need to see a girl/masturbate every day.

BTW, did you give up on finding yourself a girlfriend? Now that curfew ended and covid situation is getting better, you probably now have a better chance to find a new girlfriend.

Can not you find any part time job from which you can get extra 100 bucks per month?

Yah that’s a valid point. I guess teens till early 30s is really when your at your horniest and your biology is screaming at you to spread your seed around at all costs.

The reason I call it an addiction is because the normal feeling of feeling aroused that I get in the morning or whatever and the feeling when I’m really itching for a massage are two very different feelings. I can’t really explain it but the massage one is way more powerful and harder to shake.

I think this is because I’ve developed a sort of massage fetish. I get way more aroused at the idea of hitting a Asian massage parlour to mess around for 30 minutes with a woman 10-30 years older than me than I do at the idea of going on a date and having sex with a beautiful girl my age. And it’s not even close. That’s in part what kind of scares me, I have no problems with women and normal dating, yet still I can’t shake the need for happy endings, it’s so deeply psychologically entrenched.

I could technically afford it but I’ve been wanting to save up and wanting to travel the world a bit and have experiences while I’m still young. I’m also still a student so don’t have that much free time to work extra hours with school and social life taking up significant space in my schedule.

 

[Gav]

hello gav , do you have a place close to west island that offers services in that price , or in west island , with a good massage thank you

I don’t sorry, I don’t live in the West Island

 

[testingsite]

Yah that’s a valid point. I guess teens till early 30s is really when your at your horniest and your biology is screaming at you to spread your seed around at all costs.

The reason I call it an addiction is because the normal feeling of feeling aroused that I get in the morning or whatever and the feeling when I’m really itching for a massage are two very different feelings. I can’t really explain it but the massage one is way more powerful and harder to shake.

I think this is because I’ve developed a sort of massage fetish. I get way more aroused at the idea of hitting a Asian massage parlour to mess around for 30 minutes with a woman 10-30 years older than me than I do at the idea of going on a date and having sex with a beautiful girl my age. And it’s not even close. That’s in part what kind of scares me, I have no problems with women and normal dating, yet still I can’t shake the need for happy endings, it’s so deeply psychologically entrenched.

I could technically afford it but I’ve been wanting to save up and wanting to travel the world a bit and have experiences while I’m still young. I’m also still a student so don’t have that much free time to work extra hours with school and social life taking up significant space in my schedule.

In that case, I would suggest you talk to your Family Doctor about this. They will refer to you to sexologist who are specialized in this area and should be able to help you. Good Luck!

 

[honda1]

ok thanks anyway , your situation is perfectly normal in my opinion , young man, i am 50 soon and just as bad lol, only thing is when i take my meds because of useless pain for no reason

 

[Gav]

Hadn’t

In that case, I would suggest you talk to your Family Doctor about this. They will refer to you to sexologist who are specialized in this area and should be able to help you. Good Luck!

Hadn’t considered that I’ll look into it, thanks

 

[Gav]

ok thanks anyway , your situation is perfectly normal in my opinion , young man, i am 50 soon and just as bad lol, only thing is when i take my meds because of useless pain for no reason

Yah man I hear you, the problem for me is that I can’t really justifiably afford to keep this habit up
while also trying to save up for things like travel and saving for the future

 

[magnumrt1]

Yah man I hear you, the problem for me is that I can’t really justifiably afford to keep this habit up
while also trying to save up for things like travel and saving for the future

Gav, I'm telling you, the ONLY affordable way is some Really Hot PORN VIDEOS and enjoy. Try It It Works!!!

 

[honda1]

i understand , was in same situation , but once you start making right numbers from working and or investments, before covid was supposed to check out action in toronto ,lol , shit happens , as long as you have your heath everything will fall into place , then again its so difficult for me to choose so many women so little time lol just this site omg hotty lol

 

[Gav]

i understand , was in same situation , but once you start making right numbers from working and or investments, before covid was supposed to check out action in toronto ,lol , shit happens , as long as you have your heath everything will fall into place , then again its so difficult for me to choose so many women so little time lol just this site omg hotty lol

Yah so your advice would be to just tell myself I’ll revisit this hobby once I’m in a better place financially?

 

[honda1]

that is totally your call, no one forces you to go , its better than having a drug addiction or alcohol addiction, its pleasure, how can i say it you do one turn on this planet, the best way to be happy is what counts, life is short , enjoy it to the max but within reason, what ever you can afford

 

[EagerBeaver]

Yah man I hear you, the problem for me is that I can’t really justifiably afford to keep this habit up
while also trying to save up for things like travel and saving for the future

You just have to create a budget for yourself and partake within your financial means. This means you can't borrow money or raid an IRA or 401K plan to support it. The excess urges have to be addressed through porn, masturbation or a girlfriend. It's not hard to find a woman at your age, and the concern I have for you is more social than financial. I have seen other guys in your age group become excessively involved in P4P and they became social cripples with civilian women. You need to work on your social skills with civilian women, and develop yourself socially. It's going to be important for you down the road. Don't be afraid to fail.

 

[IamNY]

Get a second job to pay for hobby, everybody is going to be hiring up there soon enough. As far as I know, young and full of cum is not officially listed as being an addiction.

 

[PSEfreak]

You are 21 young man.
when I was 21 I could fuck the crack of Dawn
Your normal. Your money issues are another thing altogether, porn and masturbation are the way to go until you get that resolved.
a GF will cost you way more than $100+ a month so forget that for now.

 

[BombaRad]

If I could give myself advice as a 21 year old - I'd stay away from the massage scene. Not forever, those same Chinese ladies you like now, will still be there for you when you decide to come back. And I get it, and ordinary-looking woman (Asian, Russian..whatever) with skill on a shitty table in a stinky room can get me hard and explode me faster and more satisfyingly than most girlfriends I've had. Not going to try and explain it. it just is.

You physical dependencies are probably not all that physical and there are emotional ones as well. Figure out what those may be (intimacy, danger, connection..) and then look for those in the real world. We are coming out of covid and there are plenty of pent up sexual 20-somethings, 30-somethings and now is a great time to explore your own sexual capacity and do it in the real world, with real people and real feelings. And yes, also with real consequences.
If that doesn't work, jerk off early and often

be safe, be considerate, don't stress.
that is what I would tell my 21 year old self.