Mega Rant - SP's not answering texts and very poor follow up

[Jurgen Klinsmann]

Am I the only one experiencing this? 10 to 15 years ago they used to always answer their phones, nowadays they only want texts. Fine, I respect and I understand, lots of time wasters out there but for the life of me answer your texts! I had one SP answer me nonchalantly 17 (SEVENTEEN) days after I texted her! Then you have those who take forever to answer during an active conversation often taking 30 to 40 minutes or even two hours to answer back. You're texting, trying to be as brief as possible not to annoy her but I mean you still need to get some details cleared and BOOM silence. Hello! Are you still there? Nothing. Then 30 to 40 minutes later an answer without any apology or explanation whatsoever. How do you expect to have regulars if you operate in such way? It used to take less than 30 minutes to browse, find an SP, call and book. Now, it takes over an hour IF you're lucky and they answer you. Sometimes there is an SP that you really like or you've read good things about her. You contact her, text her, maybe she answers and ghost you and maybe not. Then you find another one and on the way to the one you booked, the first one decides to answer you!!! Come on.....

Even worst are those who confirm but once you arrive in the vicinity, they don't answer texts or even calls. You wait like an idiot for 10, 15, 20 and sometimes 30 minutes. Then after you leave, they text you to ask where you are and that they're waiting for you. This is despicable and disrespectful. Making us drive all the way then get ghosted, how is that not time wasting for us the clients? Not counting the fact that you probably cost us an opportunity with another provider.

And finally, WTF is this infestation of scammers? I'm pointing the fingers straight at a directory that starts with and H and has the flag on an expired imperialist power in its logo. What the hell, it seems 1 out of 5 ads is a scam and some of them are verified ads for crying out loud!

I reckon that not all SP's are like that and when I tell this to the very few reliable ones I see, they are upset and very concerned about this because it hurts their business too. Anyways, I had to let it out. Share your story if you have one.

 

[Jurgen Klinsmann]

Hahaha I thought I was the only one thinking this.
This is pretty much why I haven't met a lot of girls for a long while, I used to think I was picky but it seems I'm not the only who's annoyed by this.

It used to be easier back then, text/call, you get the info and you can meet them. Now I feel, a lot of them take men for granted (they may have a lot of client, good for them).
The lack of class is high, I get they get a lot of calls but I had this girl I had texted, got no answer the same day, deleted the conversation, I don't know how many days/month she respond back with "hey dispo", I have no idea who this was, search the number get no ads (probably changed her number) and she wants me to meet her now (I was working).

Got a lot of situation like this, most are a few days later, no apologies nor hello, just I'm available and expect me to throw my day for them.

It's to the point I start having fun with them a little, I would say "Bonjour comment ca va tu vas bien? Es tu disponible?" and most respond "tu veux passer maintenant" or "tu veux 30 min ou 1h" and I respond "je vais bien merci, merci d'avoir demandé". I don't do this to every girl but the ones who are not hiding that they are after fast money.

I found it funny sometimes girl don't even put their price/services in their ads and want me to come directly and I always say "oh it's free nice, I'm on my way!".

They are also, the girl that put 1 pictures and get mad when you ask for more (not nudes of course).

Anyway, whenever I get "ghosted or stood up", I just assume they made enough money haha.

With humpchies near it's end, I might just contact the reliable girls I know and probably will stop meeting as I was already bored/not interested anymore.
I'm not say humpchies/annonceintimes were the best sites but I'm not a fan of leolist because of it lack of precise location (mtl instead of mtl est,anjou, st leo etc) and I'm more into girl next door vs Instagram looks.

I don't trust Massage parlor and it's always overpriced, paying before knowing what she offers or want to offer you is not for me. Agencies a lot of girl told me they are iffy but seen a few post about good ones (xo,vog) but I prefer to talk directly to the girl instead of the receptionist.

So short answer, I really doubt you are the only experiencing this and I think the girl who don't put effort don't get a lot of text either (the reason why I think they text us days later), a lot of them post ads almost every 30 min, so I don't think it's a win-win for them.

I totally agree with you. It should be easier now with the tech we have nowadays, but it seems like it's gotten worst. I wish there was an interest from the owners of Leolist for instance to add a visual guide to see if the girl is actually on duty or not. Some kind of green light / red light next to their ad that is activated by the SP to actually know if she's available or not and stop guessing if she'll answer this month or the next.

I also wish they introduce actual rating by registered clients perhaps with a symbolic fee to weed out the chills so that we can share our experiences and be able to select and filter according to the rating. I don't know, develop an app or something so the girls can have direct line of contact with the client within the app. I'm also totally for ratings on the clients, I often meet reliable SP's but you can see their hesitance because of all sort of nonsense stories they had to endure. If I'm a good, clean and reliable client, I want that to be known too so when I contact her she feels safe and gives me priority.

 

[parmenides]

The girls are as annoyed by clients in some ways as much as you might be annoyed by the SWs in other ways. No one is satisfied. Life is suffering and futility reigns. No one gets a hollywood ending and everyone is completely insane. The sooner and closer to the heart that this is understood, the easier and more pleasurable life gets. And that's what you're looking for, right? Pleasure?

 

[RavenOnyx]

Being on the other side, I really did not know that clients would have this type of experience with some sp.
I guess in a way it makes me more thankful for platforms like Merb where we can have a base of reliable providers with reviews.

 

[donbusch]

Time is money. Go for MERB providers & agencies only.

 

[Carmine Falcone]

I have a general rule when it comes to patronizing businesses that I also apply to seeing SPs: if I'm trying to give you money and you're too cool to get back to me in a somewhat prompt manner, I just move on to the competition. There are too many competitors to be hung up on one company or person.

What you tell me when it takes you 17 days to return a text is my money isn't important to you. That's fine. I'll find someone who wants my business.

 

[Stroker7]

I have a general rule when it comes to patronizing businesses that I also apply to seeing SPs: if I'm trying to give you money and you're too cool to get back to me in a somewhat prompt manner, I just move on to the competition. There are too many competitors to be hung up on one company or person.

What you tell me when it takes you 17 days to return a text is my money isn't important to you. That's fine. I'll find someone who wants my business.

Amen, Carmine. It took me some time to figure that out in this industry. I agree 100%
If I had a dollar for every time I was either ghosted or whether it took a week to a month to get a reply back from an Sp, I would have a LOT of dollars

 

[Fradi]

This is one of the reasons why I absolutely love seeing my ATF and why I see her so often, she always answers my texts, emails, she is kind, thoughtful and it doesn’t hurt that she is gorgeous.
I have had similar situations where they don’t answer for days or weeks, and those I just ignore, it is frustrating I agree and that is why I like to repeat with a select few that are not like that.
I have no idea why they do this, to me it makes no business sense and it is just plain rude, but then again there are always horny men out there and they know they will always be in demand if they have the looks, unfortunately many of us overlook this kind of behaviour.

 

[Anna Bijou]

Ok here's my thoughts about this.

I 100% sympathize with your frustration but I will just point out that in order to gauge the frustration we might be experiencing on our side, you'd probably have to multiply it by 50. We get a lot more messages than you send out, and we get them everyday, literally 24/7 messages coming in.

I have someone comment that they were impressed by the fact that I answered saying hello in return and I was like.. well, what else would I say. That's when he explained that many providers don't bother and simply reply with their rates. I can see how that would be a turn off.

A few comments to put things into context.

If you text me on a day off, I may not be monitoring my messages and probably will see it the next day. Then I have no idea if you still want me to get back to you or if you're going to be annoyed because I'm way too late. It's especially nice (sarcasm) if you respond asking who this is.

So I never know if the person wants me to respond the next day or not. And what if I'm off for a few days? Should I reply or not? Totally depends on that person and I can't read their minds.

What's your take?


Same day.. Let's say I get your message right before an appointment and I don't have time to respond. Should I respond hours later? What if it's late at night?


Now. Cutting off of conversations should be expected. Because if I'm about to start an appointment or to do something else but I want you to know that I am around and am not ignoring you, I may very well be able to squeeze in a message or two before being unavailable for a hour or two. Would it be better to ignore the message unless I have 10min right now to txt?

I once finished an overnight appointment to an avalanche of progressively angrier message and insults in the final ones because I hadn't responded to someone. Like, how self centered can you be? I'm WORKING. lol We do have lives too.


Can you imagine how many times all of these things happen to us.. in a day?


I'll spend 10 minutes going back and forth to answer questions about info that is already on my site and when we're about to set a time, he says:


- which one are you again? (you're the one who contacted me 10min ago! Do a search on your own!?)

- can you send me your picture again? I forget who you are. (same as above)

- oh your rate is too much! (info on my site/ad)

- oh you're too far. (info on my site/ad)

- oh I'm looking to meet in 15min. I can't wait 1hr. (why have you waited 10min before telling me this?)

- can you send me the link to your ad, I can't find it (so I will go search for you while you can do it yourself using my phone number?)

- I'm looking for a 15min incall appointment (not offered: info on my site/ad)

- I'm looking for a 30min outcall - I require 1hr minimum (info on my site/ad)

- Can you send pics of your face or selfies? No? Oh, I can't see you. (maybe should have said this right away 10min ago instead of wasting both of our time)

- Can you see me at $$ for 1hr, that's all I have. (goodbye, thanks for wasting my time)

- I'm looking for BBFS (bye)

- Can I see you now and pay you on Thursday? (hahahahahahaha. Bye.)

- I'll get back to you (often doesn't or get back days or weeks later)

- I don't send deposit or Uber for outcalls, only have cash for you here (info on my site/ad)

- Here's my 1st name without last for outcall screening at hotel (thank you, I will need last name for front desk to transfer call to your room for verification.....) (info on my site/ad)
*crickets*
*ghosts*

- Stops responding *ghosts*


That's a good 10min or more I'm not getting back. Multiple that by the several ppl who can do this on a given day. That's a lot of time wasted.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I get tons of "hello, are you available" types of messages that I respond to right away that just never respond back.

Getting and responding to messages is not automatically money. The majority of messages are free work, so no, merely receiving a message does not make me consider you a paying client. I'll consider you a paying client when you're a client who pays.

A stranger who texts me is not there yet and I know the majority won't be. Texting isn't where in going to be expending all my energy. That's reserved for in person.

That doesn't mean I'm going to be rude and not care. But it means I'm going to be cautious and expect you to show me how serious you are and that text is not supposed to be long winded conversations, it's meant to clarify some details if needed and make an appointment.

The least you can do is not ask 10 questions about information I've already included on my site/ads. And you should definitely be able to search for my ad yourself if you can't remember which one it is.


But when someone does book after that chat, there's a new set of annoyances possible:

- Stops replying (after I explain how/when to confirm)

- Doesn't confirm when agreed

- Confirms but doesn't show up and ghost

- Confirms, texts until 20min before arrival then ghosts

 

[Anna Bijou]

Introduction messages

DO: Get to the point.

Don't do this:


Him: Hi bb

Me : Hello

Him: hyd

Me: I'm good and yourself?

Him: good

Him: wat u up to

Me: Not much, yourself?

Him: Not much
...
Me: Can I help you with something?...


**Get to the point. ** This is not meant to be chitchat between friends, the purpose is to book. I don't want to send 5 messages before you give me any useful info.

**Specify WHAT you want to know. Don't ask about something that is already included in ad/website. Don't ask me to 'tell you more about myself", Ask a specific question that is relevant to the appointment, if needed. Additional details are what the appointment is for**

And preferably write like you're over the age of 15. It's not hard when your phone already offers corrections as you're going. Sentences are sexy.


And just one last thing, if all goes well and you've booked an appointment. For the love of God, don't arrive early and start stressing her to see you sooner. And follow the instructions she gives you to access the incall and be discreet!



And that would be MY mega rant and HOW-TO. Lol

 

[Anna Bijou]

I have a general rule when it comes to patronizing businesses that I also apply to seeing SPs: if I'm trying to give you money and you're too cool to get back to me in a somewhat prompt manner, I just move on to the competition. There are too many competitors to be hung up on one company or person.

What you tell me when it takes you 17 days to return a text is my money isn't important to you. That's fine. I'll find someone who wants my business.

Or she was on vacation.
Sick.
Family situation.
Not working.

We don't sit there 24/7

 

[Stroker7]

Or she was on vacation.
Sick.
Family situation.
Not working.

We don't sit there 24/7

Simply explain this on your Twitter (if you have one) and your website. You don't need to explain its a family situation, sickness etc. Just mention you won't be available from one time frame to another.If it's a sickness for instance, and you don't know how long you'll be out just say your on an indefinite leave of absence until further notice. If it's done in a manner like this, there should be no issues and appreciated from a client's perspective since its being done in a professional way. Excellent communication from not only the SP, but the client as well is key in this industry

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

Assuming I know the girl is on duty that very same day, my tolerance for phone texting answer is 24 hr. If you text me back 2-3 days later I will ignore you. For emails 1st contact, its a different game, I usually dont expect any quick answer until the conversation is engaged. As for getting ghosted while I'm on time and on site to meet, never happen to me, but I only have booked with very reliable girls that knew me very well. I'm definately not a fearless hunter when it comes to indy escorts. I can stick with my ATFs for years lol.

 

[Man911]

Or she was on vacation.
Sick.
Family situation.
Not working.

We don't sit there 24/7

You are too smart for us.
So you think We try to book with someone that don't have ad or post her availability.

 

[Fradi]

Ok here's my thoughts about this.

I 100% sympathize with your frustration but I will just point out that in order to gauge the frustration we might be experiencing on our side, you'd probably have to multiply it by 50. We get a lot more messages than you send out, and we get them everyday, literally 24/7 messages coming in.

I am sure you are right and it must be frustrating as hell for you but there is one big difference, this is your profession for lack of a better word your job you chose this.
I am sure when you contact any other professional or tradesman be it lawyer doctor plumber or garage mechanic, you expect a prompt and cordial response from them, so do we.
Now of course if a client is rude or aggressive or you have a bad feeling about them that is a whole different story.
We all have/had jobs and professions and I don’t know of any of my clients, customers that would have been happy with me if I ignored them for days not to mention my employer.
We contact an SP for companionship, yes sex and if we read all of your web pages and adds basically all in some way speak of a wonderful experience.
That is what we are looking for and expect.
Not getting a response for days or one liners, or simple answers with just services and rates as if you were peddling a hamburger and just announcing the condiments available is not what clients are looking for either.
Some of us also like a lady to have a certain flare and character and it does come across in their reply and a timely response.

 

[donbusch]

I am sure you are right and it must be frustrating as hell for you but there is one big difference, this is your profession for lack of a better word your job you chose this.
I am sure when you contact any other professional or tradesman be it lawyer doctor plumber or garage mechanic, you expect a prompt and cordial response from them, so do we.
Now of course if a client is rude or aggressive or you have a bad feeling about them that is a whole different story.
We all have/had jobs and professions and I don’t know of any of my clients, customers that would have been happy with me if I ignored them for days not to mention my employer.
We contact an SP for companionship, yes sex and if we read all of your web pages and adds basically all in some way speak of a wonderful experience.
That is what we are looking for and expect.
Not getting a response for days or one liners, or simple answers with just services and rates as if you were peddling a hamburger and just announcing the condiments available is not what clients are looking for either.
Some of us also like a lady to have a certain flare and character and it does come across in their reply and a timely response.

I liked Anna Bijou’s post. It was funny & witty and definitely brought to life the problems faced by SPs.

From an operational perspective, running it like a business is best and maybe the independent SPs can share an admin assistant. But I believe the current legal environment can make that somewhat complicated.

Perhaps we can all think of a solution to help ourselves & the SPs. My guess would be a tech platform of some kind. MERB could actually step into that role. Or maybe there’s an admin app out there that the SPs can customize?

 

[Anna Bijou]

I am sure you are right and it must be frustrating as hell for you but there is one big difference, this is your profession for lack of a better word your job you chose this.
I am sure when you contact any other professional or tradesman be it lawyer doctor plumber or garage mechanic, you expect a prompt and cordial response from them, so do we.
Now of course if a client is rude or aggressive or you have a bad feeling about them that is a whole different story.
We all have/had jobs and professions and I don’t know of any of my clients, customers that would have been happy with me if I ignored them for days not to mention my employer.
We contact an SP for companionship, yes sex and if we read all of your web pages and adds basically all in some way speak of a wonderful experience.
That is what we are looking for and expect.
Not getting a response for days or one liners, or simple answers with just services and rates as if you were peddling a hamburger and just announcing the condiments available is not what clients are looking for either.
Some of us also like a lady to have a certain flare and character and it does come across in their reply and a timely response.

Oh I totally agree with you. I don't think it's right for providers to do this and I understand that it comes with the job for us so-to-speak. I was mainly pointing out the other extreme, and probably interpreted as a red flag or that the person is a time waster. Because when you have the same experience 99 times, it's pretty likely that the 100th time the same situation comes up, you're not going to be as willing to give the person a chance to prove your wrong. You've already done that 98 times so it's settled in your mind. There are only so many times I'll be polite and answer an inordinate amount of questions or chit chat so that a guy can jerk off over the phone or book and no-show.

I had to cut off the receptionist at a clinic I called for information the other day because she was talking on and on and I had 5 other clinics to call for the same info. And she wasn't even breathing heavily asking me what I was going to wear.


As far as not answering the same day, I agree that if she's available and monitoring her work phone, sure. But there are very valid reasons for not replying the same day.

I used to have one of those free number apps for work because I would have not been able to explain having two phones. When I was in a situation where I couldn't have it start ringing in the presence of other people, or if I was not available, that app was disabled, period. So yes, there were certainly many times when I did not reply that same day. It would be helpful if the person specified whether or not they still wanted me to respond if it was not the same day.

It is our job but unlike other jobs I can't pick up the phone or text if I'm in line at the supermarket or on a packed bus sitting next to a nosy person, and I'm being asked for my rates, how I'm groomed down there, what my restrictions are or if I offer Greek. Lol (or receiving dick pics or porn videos)

Also, before I call any business I always make sure the questions I have aren't answered on the website and I don't take up more time than needed because I know I'm not the only one with questions. I also don't text or call unless I'm genuinely interested in the service they offer and I'm able to afford it now, not next Christmas.



BTW I've never actually told someone who doesn't remember which ad is mine to look for it on their own. Not gonna lie, it goes through my mind, I do find it annoying and it is super inconsiderate (and 80%+ chance of not resulting in a booking) ... but I still go search for the link for them.

I don't know if your message is aimed at me specifically or just providers who do this in general. I just want to clarify that the text in red is not how I actually answer and I'm not guilty of being rude or sending rates (I'm hoping you've read my website and already know them). Definitely not peddling a hamburger.


If I message anyone (who works typical Monday to Friday) on a Friday night or a Saturday, I'm not getting a reply until Monday morning and I'm not going to accuse them of not treating me properly as a customer. We're not on call 24/7. Just because our schedule isn't necessarily Monday to Friday, it's not fair to expect that we should respond any day, any time. Especially for people who go to school, have another job or cannot access their messages discreetly any time they want.


If I want to book an appointment with my hairstylist, who is self employed, I usually assume I have a better chance of seeing her when I want to if I give her some notice a few days before. If I decide spur of the moment that I'd like to see her the same day, I'm going to be prepared for the possibility that she might not have any availability left, she might not be around and have planned some personal things or she might be spending the day with her mother. Who knows. I can take a chance but I am fully aware that she may not be around right when I call or even that same day. I wouldn't dream of holding it against her.

There are not many professions where clients notoriously give very little notice to book an appointment. Unless we're dealing with medical emergencies, I doubt you call many businesses telling them you want to come by in the next 15min or not at all. Lol


Just to be clear, I'm not trying to offend anyone, and definitely not defending the providers who are rude or whatnot. I'm just trying to point out that some expectations are not completely fair and that circumstances are sometimes a little more complex than someone treating potential clients badly.



Damn I write a lot. Sorry

 

[Anna Bijou]

You are too smart for us.
So you think We try to book with someone that don't have ad or post her availability.

Well actually, yeah. I don't think people do that, I know they do. From experience. Ads are up permanently on some sites. And I get inquiries days after my last ad was posted all the time.

I'm not being smart (although I'm not saying I'm not. And definitely a smart ass, I'm not trying to be), just talking about how it is.

Yes, plenty of people try to book when there aren't new ads (they use the search feature or have your number saved, for example). Just like people try to book at 4am when your ad was posted at 2pm and you never mentioned working late at night.

Sorry if that offends you. Not sure why, though. Certainly wasn't my intention.

 

[Fradi]

Damn I write a lot. Sorry

No my message was not aimed at you.
For someone that doesn’t like to chit chat and wants to get to the point I would say yes.
Seriously though I appreciate your long and detailed explanations and I sympathies with you but like you say unfortunately it does come with the. territory.
There will always be guys that have had maybe a little too much to drink or high or just plain horny and want instant release and have no patience to get the job done and of course you will have time wasters that have no intention of booking at all.
Just like from our end there will always be SP that are only concerned with how much cash they can bring in with as little effort or time as possible.
After a while like you are able to weed out the time wasters, clients that you know will not be worth seeing just by the way they approach you and how they write, we also learn who to avoid, but we are not as good at it and we have the added disadvantage that we are obviously attracted to the one we are trying to book and our brain doesn’t always win the argument even when all the warning signs are there.
We can only try to be polite to each other and believe me someone who answers in a timely manner with a sense of humour will always be the one I want to see.
There is really no point in trying to pursue someone who doesn’t answer for days or gives you vibes that once she has the cash she just can’t wait to get rid of you.

Sometimes it does work out even when you get off on the wrong foot.
I had contacted a young lady from Indy Companions once and all went well she answered me in about 5 hrs after I had texted her and we agreed to meet 2 weeks later ( I usually book a week or two ahead). we also agreed that I would contact her 2 days prior to make sure everything was still good.
when I did that I didn’t get any answer so next day I asked if everything was ok.
The text I received back was not pretty, It started off with she has a right to take a day off and not work etc.. etc…
I answered her that she can take as many days as she wants I was simply doing what we agreed and I was polite and not accusing but if she wants to cancel no problem even though I wanted to see her.
Half hour later she texted that she had a tough day and didn’t mean to take it out on me and all is good if I still want to meet.
She turned out to be a real sweetheart and I am glad I was able to see her.

 

[DouMan]

I also wish they introduce actual rating by registered clients perhaps with a symbolic fee to weed out the chills so that we can share our experiences and be able to select and filter according to the rating.

Isn't this what you find here ... merb?