POLL about bad behaviours on MERB

[Mod 8]

Hello everyone,

This started out as an interesting thread but somehow it seems to have gotten lost. Could everyone try to stay on topic and not turn this thread into a farce of itself? I believe this can be a very useful thread to gauge members' opinions and I would hate to have to close it.

Thank you,

M8

 

[Merlot]

And, now we've come full circle. A very astute observation My_dingaling, and one that ties directly to my original post in this thread.

It is really mind boggling that some folks consider an escort review board as their pulpit of choice for preaching morality but really what basically amounts to nothing more than hypocricy.

Due to mental illness, or maybe substance abuse, or both, or something else (I'm only speculating) it seems some posters here have even tricked themselves into believing what they say, when deep inside they must know it's blatantly false.

Fascinating...

BD

Well Mod8,

Here you have a severe form of bad behavior. The use of persistent vicious accusations. In all of my arguments with members who truly want a decent discussion this has never happened. In contrast, I've never seen a post in a discussion on substantive issues by some without it. How is it that one member can have an intense discussion many times with a second member and never resort to vicious labels between them, while a third member cannot post without them? Answer: the third member and those of the same mind has no will to do so. They cannot separate their posts from personal issues. It not difficult at all to resolve. Simply leave the crude labels, and innuendo out if you are sincere about having true discussion. If you are sincere about being respectful and having a respectful board there is no excuse for such posting tactics as..."Due to mental illness, or maybe substance abuse, or both, or something else". On other currently running threads discussion has been civil by those who really desire civility despite intense disputes. So there's the difference.

Good luck,

Merlot

 

[Ben Dover]

I have no idea what's going on. First you love me and now I have somehow offended you. Strange...

I'm sure if mod8 thinks I've done something wrong, he'll be more than happy to point it out himself. I'm trying to keep this thread on track and not make it personal. I think certain parties are degenerating this discussion a little too much for my liking, so that might be it for me here. Like mod8 mentioned, this had the potential to be much more interesting...



BD

 

[Regular Guy]

I think we might set the example in this thread

Guys should be able to go at it a little bit but keep it friendly like me and RG manage to do, i say it's day he says it's night but we kind of agree to disagree

I'm with Jeff on this. I am not going to defend Merlot as he is perfectly capable of doing that himself. I will, however, defend any member's right to express him/herself in whatever fashion he or she sees fit. Some points can be expressed in a few words. More complex concepts may require a longer explanation. If a member posts in such a fashion that is courteous and respectful then that should be sufficient. If a member is concerned about issues of another member being verbose or pontificating or whatever, they are free to simply pass over the post.

I have not entered into this discussion previously as I am generally satisfied with the rules and their enforcement on the board. The sister board at present is attempting to impose a very similar rules structure to encourage a more civilized style of debate and encourage mutual respect among the members.

Some of the posts here if not outright attacks still tend to make one uncomfortable with their innuendo.

 

[Ben Dover]

If a member is concerned about issues of another member being verbose or pontificating or whatever, they are free to simply pass over the post.

True. Or, to comment on it if they feel like it.

I don't believe the membership guidelines restrict members' writing styles any more than they prevent members from commenting on the writing style of others. The overarching rules of respect and intolerance toward flaming should govern this behaviour.

When my_dingaling said that a post was "too long" and "please make your point at the beginning" I did not detect any behaviour that would not be acceptable by merb definitions. I can assume that the mods have reached the same conclusion or the post would have been removed and the poster reprimanded.

I think some people here are simply unable to accept any critiques without considering them to be personal attacks. If someone is sooooo touchy that an inoccuous comment on the length of their post gives them a coronary, then maybe they should simply re-evaluate the tensile strength of their spine in order to determine for themselves if they really belong here or not and if being here is really healthy for them.

I may be wrong, but I don't think the mods are too interested in refereeing silly arguments or imaginary vendettas. They have enough work to do...

BD

 

[Ben Dover]

Hi BD,

Having a but of fun here , are you...

Hey Roland,

Glad you are chiming in! I'm always having fun. I mean, hey, if it's not fun, why do it? Right?

kinda like winding up a toy and aiming it to crash off a cliff.

Well ...almost..but no crash...

Unfortunately I'm not able to share PM messages with you. Let's just say (as I mentioned before) some people are great a portraying one thing on the board and something very different in PM-land. The PMs I'm getting are just loaded with strange insults. They have a tone and collection of words that the sender would never post publically for fear of tarnishing their image. I wouldn't call it a crash. More like a massive train wreck. Or, perhaps a downward spiral, like an excrement filled toilet, slowly flushing...

Yeah, he's a tad long with the posts ...but he is a real gentleman, and many of us like him a lot.

I like him a lot too. Maybe not for the same reasons, but I think he's great. I thought this feeling was mutual... but it looks like it was all one big sham and I was wrong.

Now, I really hate to be so repetitive, but can we stick to the thread topic and leave personal issues out of this once and for all? I'm afraid that if this persists we will all be losing out on a great opportunity to learn. I can only try to point the discussion back in the right direction X number of times....

Cheers,

BD

PS: How's the weather up on the dark tower this time of year? I hear the roses are in bloom!!

 

[Mod 8]

OK guys,

That's enough. Any other posts directed at any member in particular, whether directly or by insinuation, or posting about PMs, will be removed and the poster will be getting a few days off. Give it a break, already!

M8

 

[Regular Guy]

Am I worthy?

I think some people here are simply unable to accept any critiques without considering them to be personal attacks. If someone is sooooo touchy that an inoccuous comment on the length of their post gives them a coronary, then maybe they should simply re-evaluate the tensile strength of their spine in order to determine for themselves if they really belong here or not and if being here is really healthy for them.

Well a critique is a critique and a personal attack is a personal attack. It is pretty easy for anyone with a modicum of intelligence to see the difference. Sometimes it is not about how a person reacts to what another feels is an innocuous comment but what others (who have no emotional investment) may see as an attack.

Now the fact of someone being overly sensitive to a well intentioned critique is one thing. The board is set up in such a way that judgments are in the hands of moderators who apply sanctions according to an agreed upon board policy. Whether an exercise in self evaluation dependent on the standards set by another member is the only criteria for membership is a horse of a different colour. If I call you a mother raper and I decide that your sensitivity to this comment means that you don't belong on this board, then who is in charge here, me or the moderators? Who is to decide what is really healthy for one person or another? Is this simply the law of the jungle and the best street fighter rules the board? Believe it or not, that is the path of anarchy and destruction for any board. It almost brought the blue board to its knees until the moderators smartened up and tightened up.

So you are right about one thing. Start a wild west show here and I, for one, will be gone. And I suspect I wont be alone. Might be a wise idea to rethink your position on this. But hey what do I know? I am sure that if I have doubts, some member somewhere will straighten me out and laugh if I am stupid enough to buy into their opinion.

 

[Ben Dover]

If I call you a mother raper and I decide that your sensitivity to this comment means that you don't belong on this board, then who is in charge here, me or the moderators? Who is to decide what is really healthy for one person or another? Is this simply the law of the jungle and the best street fighter rules the board? Believe it or not, that is the path of anarchy and destruction for any board. It almost brought the blue board to its knees until the moderators smartened up and tightened up.

RG, I agree with you. In case you misread the text you quoted, it says that a person who is sensitive should make a decision for themselves. Mods are here to enforce the rules, but individuals decide on their own to lurk, join, post, leave, come back, leave again etc... However, I do think that calling someone a name like that is against the rules and would probably result in some warning or punishment, depending on the situation. The "victim" of a name calling attack like that would probably be supported by the system that is place and sensitivity to such a horrific remark might be deemed acceptable by a majority of people, I'm not sure. I guess I'm also not sure it's an applicable anthology when discussing what constitutes being "overly sensitive" in the context of Merb, an escort review board.

Calling someone else a mother raper is a pretty big leap from saying their post is too long. It's true that it doesn't take much for things to escalate for no reason.... lol


BD

 

[Regular Guy]

MOD 8. Was Lucky's post removed by you or him? I realize that he had some kind of personal axe to grind because of Hal the John. (And I understand how some here might make the sign of the cross in horror when they hear that name) But perhaps we should have answered him not for his sake but because that kind of thinking just may be a perfect example of what depths an unmoderated board might sink to. And in the end isn't that what this thread is about? What do you think?

 

[Mod 8]

Hello RG,

Lucky removed his own post.

M8

 

[Regular Guy]

Hello RG,

Lucky removed his own post.

M8

I suppose in one sense I am not surprised. It did seem rather extreme as rants go. I hope he's all right! That one went a bit beyond someone simply having his "nose out of joint."

 

[breadman]

Now this poll makes no sense at all with the originator taking down his post after so little time. Seems like the poll just didn't reflect the hurt and anguish that he felt he suffered. If the originator of the poll takes off for siesta, what's the point in the poll for the first place?

Timeline....post regarding agency not giving free hour, insulted by post and needing to see a 1 month suspension, retiring and starting new board...now taking off originating post since nobody gave a shit (pardon my french).

To be honest, the moderators here do one heck of a job considering the whiners that come around and expect the board to bow to their wants. And show one hell of a restraint over guys fighting over past posts/pm's/insults. I think the mod's should have a red button they can push to give everyone a time out, children should be treated as children (me included).

 

[Ben Dover]

The rose is mesmerizing ....... And again...and again..and again....

I guess that there is a bit more to this.I don't wanna know.
Thanks for the explanation...appreciate that you took the time.

Well...at least you didn't take your ....... briefcase out.

Take care everyone.

Roland

lol.... NOBODY wants me to take my briefcase out.

Including me.

To be honest, the moderators here do one heck of a job considering the whiners that come around and expect the board to bow to their wants. And show one hell of a restraint over guys fighting over past posts/pm's/insults. I think the mod's should have a red button they can push to give everyone a time out, children should be treated as children (me included).

Well said Breadman. I have to agree with you.
Maybe instead of banning members, there could be a "naughty corner" ?


BD

 

[Techman]

Anyone ever see the movie Demolition Man with Stallone? They have a computer that is always issuing tickets for language infractions. Maybe they should get one here and issue infraction points to people. Oh wait...never mind. That's the way they do it in smurfland and we've all seen how well that works.

 

[Merlot]

lol.... NOBODY wants me to take my briefcase out.

BD

Hmmmm,

Ahhhh, the briefcase beating technique. I don't understand it at all, but like bondage some get highly aroused by beatings and brutality. Too freaky!

isssh.

Hey Dingaling,

I appreciate the "too long" critique. It's amazing you can be "that insightful" without being respectful enough to read it at all first. Is your hollow wisdom copyrighted...or can anyone use it.

So recognizing that like everyone else I probably can never find this board perfect for me...I voted: "No, I like this forum the way it is."

Cheers,

Merlot

Isn't it nice we share the same view.

LOL,

Merlot

 

[Merlot]

Ugly Political and Personal Opportunism.

Hello all,

Another sad form of bad behavior...using any of the slightest opportunity for ugly political and/or personal agendas, refusing to let anyone celebrate the good they have without an attack. Recently there were two threads by citizens offering appreciation for their respective countries Canada and the U.S.A on national holidays honoring their conutries. In both threads there were very ugly and/or divisive and hateful posts. Of course "free speech" reigns. But, for the life of me I can't see the necessity of turning simple appreciation for one's own country into venomous bickering or a flaunting display of the poster's total lack of respect and class. Talk about bad behavior...this is it.

Incredible,

Merlot