Pre-divorce advice

[OR71]

Update:

I met with lawyer, and as predicted he was not particularly interested or excited about my having seen escorts. He asked some questions about whether it was likely to come out, but was more concerned about the general division of assets and liabilities (like EB said).

What really sunk in is that, once you get to the point of actually divorcing, you are going to have to accept the fact that the other person (and their entourage) are going to think all kinds of horrible things about you. Then the process is mainly about making sure the kids are looked after and dividing the assets. In our case, there has been pretty much equal contribution toward child rearing and household finances.

I learned a lot that is helpful to know going forward - I think it will help me stand up more in conflicts without an irrational fear of divorce being "the end of the world". I think she senses how scared I've been of this, and has used it to push the limits of acceptable behaviour.

Thanks again for the advice,

O

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

To those who really are looking to get a divorce. I did get a good lawyer, recommended I pay for my ex wifes lawyer so she could not come back later saying she could not afford a good lawyer before. Do not stay together for the kids sake, the probably know and why drag it out, it will happen later. Do not pay alimony as if she does not marry again it could be a long term payment, I paid out 5 years advance one lump payment and that is all she will ever get. Expect to walk away with 40% of what you had ( unless she was also a good income earner ). Life is much better after a divorce even if you have kids, just make sure you see them as much as possible and then some more.
Just my opinion.

 

[Roy Bean]

Do not aggravate you soon to be ex, I have seen too many bad divorces where the ex just needs an excuse.