Relationship SP-client

[philonius]

As a client, could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman you met like an SP?

Could I see it? Yes, a few I've seen I would have no hesitation if they wanted to take it in that direction, whether they continued in the industry or otherwise, wouldn't bother me. Would I? Probably not. The fantasy is what makes it so much fun. As soon as the fantasy bleeds into the day-to-day, for me it would cease to be as alluring. I wouldn't trade free sex for the nervous feeling you get while walking down a quiet hallway, envelope in your back pocket, shifting your erection in your pants while you try and calm your breathing. The rush of sensations when they open the door and you haven't seen them in months but they're somehow hotter than the last time, and you immediately embrace, picking up where you left off like it was just a moment ago.

Mmm, yup. I'm good, thanks.

 

[jeffmathers]

I think she meant to say that many of us has other jobs or career, so if she wished to exit the industry, you wouldn't necessarily need to support her financially, as you implied in your first message.

@Jade xoxo I'm going on a date with a civilian I met about 5 or 6 weeks ago today. She works 7 days a week. Based on the 5 or 6 weeks of knowing her and only having seen her twice I predict if I was in a relationship with her I'd only get to see her like once a month.

I would be equally willing to financially support an SP or a civilian in terms of a civilian relationship when I get to that point as I feel a lot of civilian relationship problems stem from financial worries and time constraints. Among the civilians and SPs I know in real life most of the women I know who have ADHD or other neurodivergence feel very overwhelmed by work so that it impedes other aspects of their life.

 

[Rebaynia]

I had my relationship before returning to escorting. While he says it wouldn't have changed anything for him, for me it would have. Even though he is not the client sort. He doesn't have finances to be able to afford SPs as a dad who supports his kids every day.

I am happy to hear and see that other SPs might have found love while working. I quit when I was 19, because I didn't believe it was possible. And tried to fit myself into a box I didn't fit into, to try and be deserving of love.

I have enjoyed hearing how others have navigated relationships while SPs. I still struggle with the inner demons now that say I don't deserve it because of who I am and what I do, even though he gives all the love and support he can.
The affection from him, and the lovelies I get to see, shut those thoughts away.

 

[jeffmathers]

I had my relationship before returning to escorting. While he says it wouldn't have changed anything for him, for me it would have. Even though he is not the client sort. He doesn't have finances to be able to afford SPs as a dad who supports his kids every day.

I am happy to hear and see that other SPs might have found love while working. I quit when I was 19, because I didn't believe it was possible. And tried to fit myself into a box I didn't fit into, to try and be deserving of love.

I have enjoyed hearing how others have navigated relationships while SPs. I still struggle with the inner demons now that say I don't deserve it because of who I am and what I do, even though he gives all the love and support he can.
The affection from him, and the lovelies I get to see, shut those thoughts away.

I'm happy that you have him. I feel you're probably a great mom.

 

[Ducon]

I don’t know if the question had been asked before. I’m new here


As a client, could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman you met like an SP?

As an SP ( girls I want your input on this ), could you be in a relationship with someone you met like a client ?

* English is not my first language

I would.
The potential issues are not very different from "traditional" relationships.

 

[Jade xoxo]

I had my relationship before returning to escorting. While he says it wouldn't have changed anything for him, for me it would have. Even though he is not the client sort. He doesn't have finances to be able to afford SPs as a dad who supports his kids every day.

I am happy to hear and see that other SPs might have found love while working. I quit when I was 19, because I didn't believe it was possible. And tried to fit myself into a box I didn't fit into, to try and be deserving of love.

I have enjoyed hearing how others have navigated relationships while SPs. I still struggle with the inner demons now that say I don't deserve it because of who I am and what I do, even though he gives all the love and support he can.
The affection from him, and the lovelies I get to see, shut those thoughts away.

You’re lucky you have found him ☺️

 

[PSEfreak]

I have developed a close relationship with 1 of my go-to girls. I still see her as a client a couple times a month. We have clicked.
We've gone out to dinner a couple times when she was in my area. She's reached out for a quick coffee once, we talked for almost 3 hours.
She's also called me to vent her frustrations with her kids and life in general. I could have sworn she was even crying on phone, although she denied it later.

I consider her a friend, a good one actually. She is an amazing woman, and the sex is excellent.

Would I consider turning that friendship into a serious and monogamously relationship?
I don't really know, I would need to really think about it. but If I did it would only be with her.

 

[Rebaynia]

I'm happy that you have him.

So am I. I regularly feel blessed and lucky we have found eachother. I wouldn't have returned to this if we hadn't. It has been something that has braught me back to life from where I was before mentally. And something I secretly desired returning to over the years, but needed love more than more sex.

I feel you're probably a great mom.

It is a great part of who I am, it bleeds into how I am with others. Caring is an instinct, not an act I can turn on and off.

 

[Petit prince]

Success stories of transitioning from a client-escort relationship to a typical romantic relationship are rare but do exist I guess ?

The challenges often include trust issues, societal stigma, and navigating the emotional complexities of one partner’s ongoing work in sex work. Clear communication, mutual respect, and well-defined boundaries are critical. Transparency about intentions—whether both parties want a serious relationship—and addressing jealousy or insecurity early on are probably key to success.

Regarding whether a man would be okay with their partner continuing sex work until an “exit solution” is found, it depends heavily on the individual.

Would you be ok, as man if she continues her work?

Some men might be accepting if boundaries (e.g., emotional exclusivity, specific work limitations) are clear and mutually agreed upon. Others might find it difficult due to personal values or emotional triggers. Open discussions about timelines, financial goals, and emotional needs are essential to navigate this.


Many sex workers avoid relationships due to the difficulty of balancing personal and professional lives. When partners are aware and accepting, setting boundaries—such as separating work from personal intimacy or agreeing on what’s shared—can help. However, discomfort often arises if boundaries aren’t respected or if insecurities emerge over time.

 

[Zero_Six]

Probably no. Not because of the SP factor but because I'm too much of an introvert/hermit. IDK if I can do relationships in general. I like my alone time too much. Relationships sound like a lot of work, hence why I get my needs met via SPs. I can do a few hours here and there, but that's about it.

 

[jeffmathers]

Probably no. Not because of the SP factor but because I'm too much of an introvert/hermit. IDK if I can do relationships in general. I like my alone time too much. Relationships sound like a lot of work, hence why I get my needs met via SPs. I can do a few hours here and there, but that's about it.

There are civilian poly relationships where people choose to see each other rarely.

 

[EastWind]

No. She showed up to my life “perfect” dressed to the 9s. She will leave my life “perfect” dressed to the 9s.

For me there is that wide gap between this hobby and a civilian relationship. This keeps things memorable and civilized. This gap should never narrow or at worst converge. All the women I met in this hobby are unforgettable and some are even life changing and inspiring. I like to leave it that way.

Well that is just me. You do you.

 

[theyellowman]

I don’t know if the question had been asked before. I’m new here


As a client, could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman you met like an SP?

As an SP ( girls I want your input on this ), could you be in a relationship with someone you met like a client ?

* English is not my first language

I wish i could have a relationship with a SP like i have now with my Sugar Baby ! Lover with arrangements!

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I've dated a client before when I first entered the industry and I'm still good friends with him, I also became friends with 2 other clients outside of this and gave them my real identity.. but i decided not to do this anymore because of 2 bad experiences. In the past when I felt like the lines were blurred and I trusted the person I offered to be friends outside of this. I don't regret it, and I do have valuable friendships with my clients but they have boundaries..

I feel like there's a power dynamic behind a client and a provider that can go both ways and things can easily be misinterpreted, so I decided that I will no longer give access to certain parts of myself to clients unless the situation is super unusual.. unfortunately I've noticed certain patterns.. Seeing clients is kinda like staying in the earliest stage of a relationship forever, or having a magical friendship without arguments, which is the beauty of it, but there are things I don't like to reveal for multiple reasons. Clients also don't show everything about themselves. I don't think it's because they aren't trustworthy individuals but feelings can build on one side or two sides, and expectations aren't based in reality..

The other day I saw someone say ''there's no way these girls would hang out with you guys for free'' but that's not what this is about for me, it's energy conservation.. the clients i've established a friendship with outside of this are exempt from this but I can easily become saturated socially even if I totally enjoy the time I spend with my clients. I'm not a clock watcher when I'm not busy since I have the privilege of an open schedule but if I started getting coffee and lunch with every client I like for free I wouldn't have time for myself anymore.. hence why I offer social time as a service because it happens within certain boundaries.

I also know a lot of clients who have told me about providers who gave them their real name and hung out with them outside of bookings often, they dated certain providers and gossiped to me about multiple details particularly when things went wrong between them, i shut them down obviously because that info is not relevant to me and potentially harmful because what if I told other people about this and deformed the information.. it made me realize that even if the relationship seems very real, something could happen and dangerous gossip could occur even if the person who offers this information doesn't necessarily have bad intentions.. No matter how much you get along, if something bad happens, what if the client tells people about it online or to other SP? It's human to confide and I don't hold it against anyone who did this. but these things can have consequences in terms of confidentiality and discretion, even safety..

Same thing with friendships, I'm afraid if I were to become platonic friends with some clients and tell them my real identity, they wouldn't understand and they would think I am offering to be romantic partners. It happened once, and I was a bit shocked.. I guess I was naive.

I tried to date another client last summer who wasn't a man and this person hid things from me at first... Once we decided to just be friends, the topic of sex work came back on the table very often and she asked me to be her reference. This made me really uncomfortable. This person knew acquaintances of mine and at the same time knew people I knew in the sex industry in Montreal.. this is another issue. In my private life I don't want to constantly think about my SP life and talk about it, except with a few individuals..

I'm not a big fan of ppl on this thread berating SP like saying "we just have to open our legs to get men's attention and we're all promiscuous". I get where this is coming from but it's not reality.. I'm not promiscuous in my personal life and I'm not out there to use people I date. In fact I was quite generous with the 2 people I dated while being a SP. They also understood it's a job for me and I didn't involve them in it. I would really like to be in a loving relationship eventually but retiring isn't an option right now..

Maybe in the future my feelings about this will change. who knows.

 

[Petit prince]

It can be challenging for a man who has the opportunity to develop a friendship with a woman he used to see as a regular client. The constant desire to be intimate with her may make it difficult for him to refrain from returning as a client. Similarly, for her, it may be hard to be intimate with someone who was once a client but is no longer in that role.


There seem to be two different dynamics at play: one person may seek reassurance and connection through physical intimacy, while the other may need reassurance and a mental or emotional connection first, which can take more time to develop. This difference in timing might lead the man to revert to being a client.


Sometimes, it feels simpler to remain just a client, as it avoids disappointment on both sides.

What do you think?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

It can be challenging for a man who has the opportunity to develop a friendship with a woman he used to see as a regular client. The constant desire to be intimate with her may make it difficult for him to refrain from returning as a client. Similarly, for her, it may be hard to be intimate with someone who was once a client but is no longer in that role.


There seem to be two different dynamics at play: one person may seek reassurance and connection through physical intimacy, while the other may need reassurance and a mental or emotional connection first, which can take more time to develop. This difference in timing might lead the man to revert to being a client.


Sometimes, it feels simpler to remain just a client, as it avoids disappointment on both sides.

What do you think?

My opinion is that it depends on the person. The 2 clients who are still my friends still either book providers or have sex on a regular basis with other people, so they don't need me in that sense. There is another client I became friends with who seems to have conflicting feelings about this.. I think the common link between the clients I decided to become friends with is that I didn't see them for a long time as a SP. The one client I dated, I only saw him once and we decided we got along so well that we wanted to see each other without the transactional aspect, but once again this was at the very beginning of my career as a provider and I didn't know better. This could have gone terribly wrong.

If I want to maintain a professional relationship with a client, no matter how well we get along and how real the friendship is, I need to keep certain rules and boundaries.. I also think right now I'd rather clients remain clients because things could get messy and expectations can be different.

I've also noticed how prevalent gossip is in this industry, even if this is something I don't like to partake in. Like I mentioned above I've often had new clients volunteer info about other providers they saw, and that makes me very uncomfortable.. I've had a client before tell me colleague's real names and tell me about SP's being in romantic relationships and multiple details about their time together, without me asking. I often don't remember these details and I don't share them because it's against my values.. I also discourage gossip and often change the subject when this comes up, but I know that not everyone does the same, as we've heard recently.

This sounds like I'm going on a tengeant but I'm not.. because if boundaries are vague between a client and a provider, it's more likely that the provider will share personal things like her real name among other things and the client feels special and shows other provider that by sharing the info.. It's also hard because then as a provider I feel pressured to share more of myself, and I'm afraid a client will feel like I don't value him because others have had different limits..

 

[Jade xoxo]

I like reading about the 2 points of views.

I understand what you’re saying @Lunaseraphim about being carefull and having bounderies.


For myself I have a good friend who was a client before. But he is the only one and it will stay that way. I think sometimes it’s possible and relationship can happen, but I imagine that it can be sort of a challenge for both people.

 

[urquell]

I would, and have, with 3 different women. I would have married one of the ladies but we broke up not due to personal issues but rather to complications tied to immigration. We're still friends to this day. The work was never an issue for me and I've never been the jealous or possessive type, and we were pretty open about physicality. The "intimate" part for me is never about sex, although certainly sex is heightened with intimacy. I've never really understood why people choose to call it "being intimate" as opposed to "being physical" . I make a clear distinction between the two, but maybe that's just me.

Now, dating a stripper on the other hand, is a different proposition. I found dating a stripper to be far more invasive and frustrating than dating an SP. due in large part to the inability to fully control the atmosphere, or the clientele or the hours, as well as the culture (especially the drugs) that exists among the girls working in the clubs. I would far rather date an SP than a stripper. In fact, I would never date a stripper again, at least not while she's working as a stripper.

 

[Sky_rocket]

I'm no Richard Gere. I'm in this hobby to meet women out of my league.

 

[philonius]

I'm no Richard Gere. I'm in this hobby to meet women out of my league.

Agreed. Average dudes of all ages, shapes, and sizes: Let's all take a moment, bow our heads, and give thanks to the proliferation and increased accessibility of this industry, and all the ladies that allow us 3s and 4s to bask in the periphery of you stone-cold 10s. : prayer emoji :