Sex Worker's Security...

[naughtylady]

Every job has a certain degree of risk that you have to expect and just deal with...

firefighter might die at any moment fighting a fire...so they get paid accordingly.
policeman might get shot during when they pull someone over...so they get paid accordingly. But some of the most dangerous jobs don't have pay that match's the risk...taxi drivers, loggers, etc.

Escorts though are paid pretty well for the risks they take. We do on occasion read about an escort getting murdered...be it on the street or at a hotel. But not as often as we read about a policeman, fireman, taxi driver meeting their ending. And we all know a cop doesn't make $150 an hour. A policeman has to accept that the door he's about to kick in might have a guy with a shotgun standing behind it...same goes for the escort getting ready to knock on the door of a hotel room/house.

If you can't stand the heat, get another line of work. There are millions of people living in Montreal that get by just fine without having to resort to prostitution.

Yes, there are millions of people living in Montreal that get by just fine without having to resort to prostitution. I do not know of any woman who got into the sex industry when they had better or more appealing options available to them. Many stay there after other options become available to them (such as myself). But started SPing? There simply were no other options left.

Moreover, do you really believe that every violent attack on an SP makes the news? IN Stella's monthly bulletin there always at least half a dozen bad dates (or more) included. And that doesn't cover the ones that weren't reported.

Also when you look at $150 an hour, an agency girl gets to keep about half, and she certainly does not do 40 clients a week.(comparable to the pay week of the above mentioned professions) She has no benefits, such as health insurance, accidental injury, dental, vacation, retirement plan, ect.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[rollingstone]

I don't disagree with what Ronnie said. But it should be pointed out that while they don't have any of the perks of regular employment, most of them do not pay any taxes on their income.

I am all for an SP feeling safe. I for one believe that one cannot truly enjoy a good time unless both parties feel safe. I don't have any significant other that i would hide my activities from, so I am far more willing to share personal info/pics if I really want to see the lady (albeit I would only share it with well reviewed, well established providers). But I am in the minority.

 

[Merlot]

If you can't stand the heat, get another line of work. There are millions of people living in Montreal that get by just fine without having to resort to prostitution.

Hello Breadman,

I thought you were making a very good point about the balance of risk versus worth in the line of work. You seemed to be working on something insightful. But, this "if you can't stand the heat stuff" is pretty cheap. It's a worthless answer. If you don't like it quit????? How does that even begin to deal with the reality of the risks escorts face? To me this kind of answer says...you don't matter as a person, so take it and like or get out! Come on Breadman, I thought you had something very real to say before you quit.

ish,

Merlot

 

[Regular Guy]

Is it the nature of the beast?

I agree that escorts should not have to defend themselves or what they do when it comes to an issue like this. Not to put too fine a point on it, though, I don't know how helpful it is to argue that escorts were forced to take up this profession because of circumstances. Perhaps it is true but taken to its logical conclusion what does that mean in terms of the relationship between clients and girls. Do the girls hate the work? Are the clients just walking wallets? Apparently they would prefer anything viable to doing this. Is there an underlying coldness or even hostility towards the clients? Though this may not be true in the overall scheme of things it does paint a rather negative picture of the relationship between escort and client and begs the question about whether the nature of the profession may be instrumental in creating the optimal conditions for conflict. For the purposes of this discussion we might be better off not putting escort-client relations in a negative light from the git-go. I don't see the profit in going down the path where the question arises as whether one should expect violent tendencies to arise. No need giving ammunition to those who see the profession at its basest level lurking in the shadows with crime and violence.

 

[breadman]

Hello Breadman,

I thought you were making a very good point about the balance of risk versus worth in the line of work. You seemed to be working on something insightful. But, this "if you can't stand the heat stuff" is pretty cheap. It's a worthless answer. If you don't like it quit????? How does that even begin to deal with the reality of the risks escorts face?

Everyone has options. The policeman who gets shot at a traffic stop but has the bullet stopped by his vest has the power to say 'no more' and take another path in life. Same goes for an escort. There's always another line of work, even staying in the sex trade...massage, stripclub etc.

 

[gich]

Bonjours à tous.
Si les courtisanes ne se sentent pas en sécurité
elles ont a changer de travail moi je ne me vois
pas à donner mes coordonnées sur le net. Chacque job
à son stress sur la construction il y a plus de morts que n,importe ou ailleurs.
gich

 

[La Femme]

I can't believe some of you guys...

Escorting is a dangerous business? Well, let's not try to find solutions to make it any safer, oh no! Let's just tell these women they can change line of work if they are not comfortable with the possibility of getting stalked, robbed, beaten, raped or killed.

Makes sense!

 

[Maxime]

Gich bien dit!

 

[gich]

La solution n,est pas de donner son pettigry sur le net ou au téléphone si les courtisanes se font agresser je compatis
mais il faut penser a notre sécurité aussi.
gich

 

[Kepler]

Why are they asking me for my real name and a work phone number? - Why they won't come to my house?

I fully understand the need for security. Not going to someone's house, etc. are very reasonable restrictions.

But it seems to me that it's possible to offer safe anonymous service. For example, an SP could decide to only meet "anonymous" clients in well known hotels.

Perhaps it's a niche market that some SPs could charge more for.

Just a thought.

 

[voyageur11]

The first meeting is in a motel room. Then if i meet the girl a second or third time its my house or i will call someone else. The girl and agency will know who i am and where i live so i will not do anything crazy

 

[naughtylady]

I don't disagree with what Ronnie said. But it should be pointed out that while they don't have any of the perks of regular employment, most of them do not pay any taxes on their income.

I am all for an SP feeling safe. I for one believe that one cannot truly enjoy a good time unless both parties feel safe. I don't have any significant other that i would hide my activities from, so I am far more willing to share personal info/pics if I really want to see the lady (albeit I would only share it with well reviewed, well established providers). But I am in the minority.

If one chooses not to declare any income as an entrepreneur, not paying any taxes, then they do not have the benefit of being able to get a credit card, get a car loan/lease, mortgage...

some do declare and pay taxes, others do not; a good accountant can have you showing an income and yet paying little income tax, remember if you are self employed with a home office, there are many expenses that can be written off.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[voyageur11]

But some of the girls are in this business for a very short period of time and want cash and they just cant wait to get it.Morgage and fancy car is not that important when you are 18 or 20 years old but a trip to Cuba paid cash is

 

[Regular Guy]

Reality check!

I can't believe some of you guys...

Escorting is a dangerous business? Well, let's not try to find solutions to make it any safer, oh no! Let's just tell these women they can change line of work if they are not comfortable with the possibility of getting stalked, robbed, beaten, raped or killed.

Makes sense!

Unfortunately since we seem to be going there anyway, maybe we should check out a few ideas in depth. First who are these abusive type guys and what seems to set them off with mistreating the escorts. We seem to agree that escorting is a dangerous business. Is it the very nature of the business? What is it about escorting that creates the danger? These guys would never dream to do the things they do to escorts to the girl at the gas bar or the one at the 7-11 or perhaps even to the girl they met at uncle Frank's wedding that they managed to get into bed with them.

Are we all sure we want to take this train?

Time for a major reality check: Okay then let's paint this as black as we can. Is it the very nature of the relationship that triggers the basest reactions in these guys? I'm not just talking about the adrenaline junkies, the bullies or the opportunists but also the introverted “spend too much time in the basement” types. Apparently circumstances force the girls to get into this business in the first place and to hold their noses with the clients and do the deed. The clients are simply walking wallets? Put these guys in a hotel room with a plastic, essentially illegal relationship complete with underlying rejection as a given and yes you have a recipe for a dangerous occupation. It's the nature of the beast. So what do you expect? In that sense, (though I have reservations), breadman may have a point.
So where does that lead. Well two choices. (1) Either reinvent the profession or, (2) accept the reality. Some here are pointing to the 2nd choice. But choosing the first can involve improving the very nature of the business by introducing measures to improve escort/client relationships in encounters. This might involve taking it out of the shadows, introducing viable screening processes etc. Now there would never be a scenario where things will be perfect. In order for that to happen escorts would have to be allowed to pick their clients as well as the other way around. All this is a tall order, not even practical at this point in time. Maybe that is why we hear the cry, “If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.............Or one might consider reinventing the profession a bit to improve things just a little.

 

[naughtylady]

Everyone has options. The policeman who gets shot at a traffic stop but has the bullet stopped by his vest has the power to say 'no more' and take another path in life. Same goes for an escort. There's always another line of work, even staying in the sex trade...massage, stripclub etc.

OK, tell me what other options other than sex trade, I had when I first started. Here was my situation:

I was very burnt out and depressed. My doctor did not see me as fit to work. I had walked out on a 15 year relationship when he became abusive. Employment insurance had run out and welfare refused me since the house was not sold and thus I had 2 residences (I was living in a woman's shelter)

I got fired from 4 jobs that year. It seems that being on the edge of tears or crying or being high strung and jumpy are not qualities bosses look for.

Back on employment insurance but this time for less months and less per pay period because I had less hours and a lower income. The last month of employment insurance is coming up fast and the house still is not sold. So welfare is still not an option.

That is when I started in the sex trade as a web cam sex hostess working for a small studio.

Now tell me about all the options I had. OH I know, I could have given up my apt. and become homeless! I could have become a beggar or given squeegeeing a try, on second thought no that last one would have been too physically exerting for me, remember I was still trying to recover from a burn-out.

Thankfully I am no longer in that situation and I have my health back. I stay in this occupation because for me the good out weighs the bad.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Regular Guy]

An escort's motto?

Thankfully I am no longer in that situation and I have my health back. I stay in this occupation because for me the good out weighs the bad.

And Ronnie, maybe that says it all. Understanding the realities of the profession is the first step. Though I am convinced there can be improvements. Maybe it just requires the will to take it to the next level. Who knows.

 

[Miss Cloe]

The reason we ask for this information? Or at least, the reason I asked for this information? To determine one single thing: does this person trust me? If he doesn't, I have no reason to trust him.

JAG

Thank you JAG!

 

[Regular Guy]

Now that's a good start! You go girls..............!

 

[Kepler]

the reason I asked for this information? To determine one single thing: does this person trust me? If he doesn't, I have no reason to trust him.

A client can trust you not to assault or rob him. It doesn't mean he trusts you never to reveal his identity.

My understanding from reading this board is that some SPs talk about some clients behind their backs. Also, datebooks and laptops containing contact info can be lost or stolen. Also, some SPs may become addicted to substances and may get tempted by blackmail. etc.

 

[longseek]

A client can trust you not to assault or rob him. It doesn't mean he trusts you never to reveal his identity.

My understanding from reading this board is that some SPs talk about some clients behind their backs. Also, datebooks and laptops containing contact info can be lost or stolen. Also, some SPs may become addicted to substances and may get tempted by blackmail. etc.

And we are back to the initial problem. Client don't trust the SP to not divulge information. The SP doesn't trust the client for being "normal". Considering the hobby, both side are right a client can go crazy and the SP can divulge information.

Since both element are the problem can we turn them as the solution? The client need to be findable by a minimum effort of the SP if something go wrong. The client, if the SP try to divulge information about what he is doing, bring her back in line with a minimum of effort(nothing physical).

No sure how. Maybe since most here seem to believe escorting is legal, why not have a code of conduct like many other liberal profession? With that code of conduct there should have an enforcing agency. Maybe Stella as I understand they already have a list of bad clients can't they also have a list of SP as members that agree to a code of conduct? If a man want to meet a SP and don't have problem, he meet a "certified" SP on the Stella memberlist.