Sharing My Experience with a Narcissistic Individual - Seeking Support and Advice.

[Obvio-0bvio]

Five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a stunning woman in a club. It felt like love at first sight, and everything seemed perfect - like a dream filled with butterflies and rainbows. However, little did I know that this encounter would turn out to be the most toxic experience of my life.

Once I became emotionally invested in this person, the nightmare began. Any sign of vulnerability or showing too much interest in them became the trigger for humiliation, disrespect, and the destruction of my self-worth. I felt small and unworthy, as this individual manipulated my emotions and played with my feelings. It was a mind-blowing rollercoaster of emotions, leaving me feeling terrible about myself. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, they would leave me as if nothing had happened, leaving me to pick up the pieces and rebuild my shattered self-esteem.

This process of self-validation and rediscovery was a long and arduous journey. It took time to heal, regain confidence, and learn to love myself again. But as soon as I started feeling better and was at my happiest, the narcissist would resurface, like a predator sensing its prey. And every time, I would fall into the same cycle, unable to resist their manipulation.

This toxic cycle has been going on for five years, with periods of being on and off. Recently, I found myself caught in this savage cycle once again. This has led me to question if anyone else has ever experienced a relationship with a narcissist. I also wonder how to completely cut off contact with such an individual, as it can be incredibly draining and detrimental to one's mental well-being. It feels as though this person drains all my positive energy, leaving me feeling depressed and anxious.

I would greatly appreciate hearing about your own encounters and any advice or feedback you may have. I am seeking a solution to ensure that I never have to deal with this person again, and your insights could be invaluable in helping me achieve that goal.

 

[Halloween Mike]

The same person? Dude flush them . Why anyone keep getting drawn to peoples they know are toxic to their lives .

Get a buddy friend, a dog, invest yourself in a charity if you need attention. Nothing is worth keeping toxicity around.

I rather be alone than deal with these individuals. Male or female. Be strong my dude. You are the only master of your own destiny. Just like a woman victime of "violence conjugal" ... Ditch the bastard. It ain't worth it. Love yourself. Respect yourself. And it start by having your friends, love interest and just about ANYONE&EVERYONE around you respect you.

 

[neverbored]

Hey, first off, we might not always see eye to eye here, but you seem like a nice guy. Find someone who's going to truly appreciate that, not just take advantage of it. You deserve someone who's going to give back that compatible energy or at least a little gratefulnes. But you already know that don't you?

Narcissists are bad fucking news. They mess with your head and make you feel small instead of making you feel tall and light headed. Understand that her behaviour isn't the problem... its a symptom. She is a direct product from years of her using her tactics to get what she wants. Thinking of fixing her? First of all, that's not on you. Second of all, she probably isn't looking for a hero, in her head, she is the hero and you need to come to terms that everything she says is to emotionally manipulate you for her gains... and hers only. She might even get pleasure from the turmoil she's causing you... ya they are that fucked up!

If you couldn't stop this from starting, standing up to her while also trying to protect yourself is going to be practically impossible. Delete her from your life. Better to focus on getting yourself stronger and in a better place where you can spot it and prevent it from ever happening in the future - get professional help if you need it. 5 years is a deep cut brother.

I'm sure you've read enough on the topic to know what kind of person you're facing. Understant that the moment she senses you trying to get stronger by ignoring her will just feed her narcissistic behaviour. The more she'll feel like she's losing, the harder she will push - sadly, they tend to be extremly smart and talended. She instinctlvly knows this and she will know exactly which buttons to press until you're left with nothing.

Sounds cold doesn't it? I'm sorry. You're going to suffer even more before you feel free from it. My friend, understand that what you're feeling isn't love, its a manufactured product of her will. Real affection is bi-directional, she's feeding you what she knows you want but in reality its all synthetic and the faster you can accept that the sooner you can be in a better place. No matter what she tells you, remember one thing: a good person doesn't intentionally hurt another, and you're clearly hurting.

She is not yours to fix, probably never was and never will be. Doesn't stop you from wishing her well, hell if you're lucky, she might resurface a changed person (highly unlikely, just trying to sound optimistic and less of an dick).

 

[Speedygonzales]

Hey, first off, we might not always see eye to eye here, but you seem like a nice guy. Find someone who's going to truly appreciate that, not just take advantage of it. You deserve someone who's going to give back that compatible energy or at least a little gratefulnes. But you already know that don't you?

Narcissists are bad fucking news. They mess with your head and make you feel small instead of making you feel tall and light headed. Understand that her behaviour isn't the problem... its a symptom. She is a direct product from years of her using her tactics to get what she wants. Thinking of fixing her? First of all, that's not on you. Second of all, she probably isn't looking for a hero, in her head, she is the hero and you need to come to terms that everything she says is to emotionally manipulate you for her gains... and hers only. She might even get pleasure from the turmoil she's causing you... ya they are that fucked up!

If you couldn't stop this from starting, standing up to her while also trying to protect yourself is going to be practically impossible. Delete her from your life. Better to focus on getting yourself stronger and in a better place where you can spot it and prevent it from ever happening in the future - get professional help if you need it. 5 years is a deep cut brother.

I'm sure you've read enough on the topic to know what kind of person you're facing. Understant that the moment she senses you trying to get stronger by ignoring her will just feed her narcissistic behaviour. The more she'll feel like she's losing, the harder she will push - sadly, they tend to be extremly smart and talended. She instinctlvly knows this and she will know exactly which buttons to press until you're left with nothing.

Sounds cold doesn't it? I'm sorry. You're going to suffer even more before you feel free from it. My friend, understand that what you're feeling isn't love, its a manufactured product of her will. Real affection is bi-directional, she's feeding you what she knows you want but in reality its all synthetic and the faster you can accept that the sooner you can be in a better place. No matter what she tells you, remember one thing: a good person doesn't intentionally hurt another, and you're clearly hurting.

She is not yours to fix, probably never was and never will be. Doesn't stop you from wishing her well, hell if you're lucky, she might resurface a changed person (highly unlikely, just trying to sound optimistic and less of an dick).

Unfortunately, i have been in the same situation. my advise is to erase her from your life. Resist any attempt /desire to have any contact with her. Delete any images or any social accounts that she may be on. This scenario is very addictive and should be treated as so. it will take time and lots of self restraint, but eventually you will heal, and feel better about yourself.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

The same person? Dude flush them . Why anyone keep getting drawn to peoples they know are toxic to their lives .

Get a buddy friend, a dog, invest yourself in a charity if you need attention. Nothing is worth keeping toxicity around.

I rather be alone than deal with these individuals. Male or female. Be strong my dude. You are the only master of your own destiny. Just like a woman victime of "violence conjugal" ... Ditch the bastard. It ain't worth it. Love yourself. Respect yourself. And it start by having your friends, love interest and just about ANYONE&EVERYONE around you respect you.

This is not about feeling bored. It is about being deeply in love with someone and hoping that they will change and become the person you envision in your perfect world of love and harmony.

It becomes even more complicated when they reenter your life, manipulate you, and take advantage of your vulnerability. This is a meticulously calculated process that narcissists employ on themselves.

It has nothing to do with being bored or desperate. Despite having other relationships during the five years this person was in my life, there will always be that one person who holds a special place in my heart every time you lay eyes on her.

Narcissistic individuals feed off your happiness and success, and once they realize this, they strive to destroy and bring you down through manipulation and toying with your emotions. Playing with someone's feelings is the most despicable act a human can commit.

Thankfully, I am a strong individual who knows how to quickly regain my footing. However, weaker individuals can suffer immense pain and devastation, taking years to find their way back to reality. I truly value your input buddy.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Hey, first off, we might not always see eye to eye here, but you seem like a nice guy. Find someone who's going to truly appreciate that, not just take advantage of it. You deserve someone who's going to give back that compatible energy or at least a little gratefulnes. But you already know that don't you?

Narcissists are bad fucking news. They mess with your head and make you feel small instead of making you feel tall and light headed. Understand that her behaviour isn't the problem... its a symptom. She is a direct product from years of her using her tactics to get what she wants. Thinking of fixing her? First of all, that's not on you. Second of all, she probably isn't looking for a hero, in her head, she is the hero and you need to come to terms that everything she says is to emotionally manipulate you for her gains... and hers only. She might even get pleasure from the turmoil she's causing you... ya they are that fucked up!

If you couldn't stop this from starting, standing up to her while also trying to protect yourself is going to be practically impossible. Delete her from your life. Better to focus on getting yourself stronger and in a better place where you can spot it and prevent it from ever happening in the future - get professional help if you need it. 5 years is a deep cut brother.

I'm sure you've read enough on the topic to know what kind of person you're facing. Understant that the moment she senses you trying to get stronger by ignoring her will just feed her narcissistic behaviour. The more she'll feel like she's losing, the harder she will push - sadly, they tend to be extremly smart and talended. She instinctlvly knows this and she will know exactly which buttons to press until you're left with nothing.

Sounds cold doesn't it? I'm sorry. You're going to suffer even more before you feel free from it. My friend, understand that what you're feeling isn't love, its a manufactured product of her will. Real affection is bi-directional, she's feeding you what she knows you want but in reality its all synthetic and the faster you can accept that the sooner you can be in a better place. No matter what she tells you, remember one thing: a good person doesn't intentionally hurt another, and you're clearly hurting.

She is not yours to fix, probably never was and never will be. Doesn't stop you from wishing her well, hell if you're lucky, she might resurface a changed person (highly unlikely, just trying to sound optimistic and less of an dick).

Hey there, my friend, you've expressed it so well, and I completely agree with you. As I mentioned earlier, I have a strong inner strength that enables me to handle the task of picking up the shattered pieces and putting them back together swiftly.

This is all thanks to my unwavering belief in myself and my understanding of my own worth. It's astonishing how they always seem to resurface when they see you thriving and living your best life.

The level of manipulation they employ is truly mind-boggling, like a fish being ensnared by a skilled fisherman. It's truly unbelievable how a single person can bring you from a state of blissful contentment to utter despair.

However, I must admit that the first time she did this to me, it took a considerable amount of time to recover, and I sought therapy and psychological support.

I truly appreciate your advice, my friend.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Unfortunately, i have been in the same situation. my advise is to erase her from your life. Resist any attempt /desire to have any contact with her. Delete any images or any social accounts that she may be on. This scenario is very addictive and should be treated as so. it will take time and lots of self restraint, but eventually you will heal, and feel better about yourself.

Hey buddy, I'm sorry to hear that, and I agree with you. In fact, I've taken the all the step of deleting her from all my social media accounts. Since then, I've been actively going out more, and it's during these outings that I occasionally run into her .

These narcissists are incredibly skilled at manipulation and have a charming demeanor that can be hard to resist. They gradually worm their way back into your life without you even realizing it. They know all your vulnerabilities and exploit them to their advantage.

However, this time will be the last time she will plays this game with me. The next time I encounter her, I have decided to completely ignore her and act as if I have no recollection of who she is. That, my friend, is the ultimate revenge you can inflict upon a narcissist.

Thank you for your valuable advice and your honesty.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

If they truly have narcissistic personality disorder (which it sounds like they have) and not just narcissistic tendencies, it's important to understand that this is a physical illness in the sense that the brain structure is permanently damaged with malformations that happened early in its development from either genetics, abuse, or both. This means that any hope of the person changing is futile, as it would literally require a surgical intervention that doesn't exist, and they are incapable of empathy since the part of their brain responsible for that isn't present.

So as mentioned by other members, cut them off completely. These people, while charming, are evil at their core and can never change. Even the ones self-aware and smart enough to seek therapy and change their behaviour are still the same evil individual underneath the surface. They certainly don't deserve your love.

I'd suggest reading more on this disorder and you'll quickly learn how bad it actually is. Their brain simply doesn't work the same as a normal one. I would even hesitate to call them "people", because they are just an empty shell whose sole purpose is to cause pain and suffering.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said. Narcissists don't target individuals they perceive as losers because there's no challenge or satisfaction in that for them. Instead, they seek out strong and successful people in order to feed off their energy and boost their own ego. I don't need to watch any videos because I've personally witnessed it all with this person.

However, I have extensively researched narcissism and can confidently say that everything being discussed here is 100% accurate. When I reflect on it, their initial niceness and sweetness almost seemed too good to be true.

Believe me, I have been actively avoiding this person for a long time and have repeatedly made it clear that I have no interest in ever engaging with them. Yet, bit by bit, they managed to sneak back into my life with their charming demeanor. It's absolutely mind-boggling how they can drain all your energy and bring you crashing down, only to casually walk away as if nothing happened, devoid of any remorse. It truly showcases the height of their narcissism.

You find yourself questioning whether these types of people really exist, and unfortunately, they do. They are pure evil.

Thanks buddy,

 

[Speedygonzales]

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said. Narcissists don't target individuals they perceive as losers because there's no challenge or satisfaction in that for them. Instead, they seek out strong and successful people in order to feed off their energy and boost their own ego. I don't need to watch any videos because I've personally witnessed it all with this person.

However, I have extensively researched narcissism and can confidently say that everything being discussed here is 100% accurate. When I reflect on it, their initial niceness and sweetness almost seemed too good to be true.

Believe me, I have been actively avoiding this person for a long time and have repeatedly made it clear that I have no interest in ever engaging with them. Yet, bit by bit, they managed to sneak back into my life with their charming demeanor. It's absolutely mind-boggling how they can drain all your energy and bring you crashing down, only to casually walk away as if nothing happened, devoid of any remorse. It truly showcases the height of their narcissism.

You find yourself questioning whether these types of people really exist, and unfortunately, they do. They are pure evil.

Thanks buddy,

They are the ultimate manipulators, they can turn situations to their advantage and crush their victims without any hesitation or remorse. They have no problem weaseling themselves into your life, even after crushing you emotionally, psychologically. They are pure evil.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

They are the ultimate manipulators, they can turn situations to their advantage and crush their victims without any hesitation or remorse. They have no problem weaseling themselves into your life, even after crushing you emotionally, psychologically. They are pure evil.

Accurate my friend.

 

[Halloween Mike]

This is not about feeling bored. It is about being deeply in love with someone and hoping that they will change and become the person you envision in your perfect world of love and harmony.

Altough not entirely impossible, it is unlikely that someone will change drastically to become the person you want them to be. Especially as you say this person manipulate you and know your weakness. Altough it may not be to the same level as you i found myself in a similar situation about 15 years ago. I did had great moments with this person but at one point you counter balance the bad with the good, the toxic vs the joy and you realize its not worth it. At least thats what happened with me. In any case thats just my humble experience and advice. I am not a psychologist. I hope you can find the best balance in your situation.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Altough not entirely impossible, it is unlikely that someone will change drastically to become the person you want them to be. Especially as you say this person manipulate you and know your weakness. Altough it may not be to the same level as you i found myself in a similar situation about 15 years ago. I did had great moments with this person but at one point you counter balance the bad with the good, the toxic vs the joy and you realize its not worth it. At least thats what happened with me. In any case thats just my humble experience and advice. I am not a psychologist. I hope you can find the best balance in your situation.

I believe that narcissists are unlikely to change unless under the strict control of a doctor who can prescribe them with a significant amount of medication.

Interestingly, it took me a while to realize that I was dealing with a narcissist. In fact, it was only after my therapist explained it to me that I truly understood.

The reason I fell for it was because she would often claim to be taking pills and becoming a better version of herself, which turned out to be complete nonsense. It required a great deal of manipulation and lies to lure me in, and once I took the bait, the nightmare began.

Every time I would unexpectedly encounter her, she would be incredibly charming and pleasant, which always made me think that perhaps she had changed and deserved another chance.
However, I was proven wrong every single time. I now comprehend that I am caught in a cycle where she enters my life, drains my positive energy and frequency to fuel her psychotic tendencies, and then moves on to another victim.

I never realized just how twisted it is to be a narcissist, and I can't fathom how they even live with themselves. I deeply appreciate your advices.

 

[Fradi]

Thankfully, I am a strong individual who knows how to quickly regain my footing. However, weaker individuals can suffer immense pain and devastation, taking years to find their way back to reality.

You are a strong individual and you let this thing go on for 5 years hmmmmm….
Perhaps you need to be stronger and just let go of her period.
You already know nothing good is going to come out of this relationship so just stop it once and for all.
Go see a few escorts, go out with your friends go play golf or any other activity that you enjoy that will occupy your time and make you feel good.
There is always another gorgeous young lady around the corner that will treat you much better.

 

[neverbored]

This is all thanks to my unwavering belief in myself and my understanding of my own worth. It's astonishing how they always seem to resurface when they see you thriving and living your best life.

In regards to their "disorder type" : "Its not a bug, its a feature". In other words, the stronger you are in whatever place you're in, the more motivated they will be. "How dare you be happy when she is not" kind of thing... its a disgusting behaviour.

I've often heard the term 'Pervers narcissique' used in French, unlike the English term 'perversion,' typically refers to sexual behaviors/disorders. In French, 'pervers' has broader implications. It is used to describe individuals with harmful and morally corrupt personalities, emphasizing their manipulative and malicious interactions with others. This term extends beyond sexual behavior to encompass a range of antisocial, manipulative, and damaging behaviors.

In psychological terms, 'Narcissique' relates to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The French term 'Pervers narcissique' aligns more closely with what is known in English as a 'malignant narcissist' or, in other contexts, an 'amoral narcissist' or someone with Sadistic Personality Disorder (SPD).

Spoiler: Really long reply

Sorry for the long reply, I didn't have the time to compile a shorter one. I figured it could be of interest due to the nature of this site. Not implying that anyone here is one or the other, but speaking from personal experience others may also be more succeptible to falling victim to this situation.

In the term "malignant narcissism", the word "malignant" is used as "passionately and relentlessly malevolent, aggressively malicious". In malignant narcissism, NPD is accompanied by additional symptoms of antisocial, paranoid and sadistic personality disorders. While a person with NPD will deliberately damage other people in pursuit of their own selfish desires, they may regret and will in some circumstances show remorse for doing so.

Because traits of antisocial personality disorder are present in malignant narcissism, the "malignant narcissist" has a more pervasive lack of empathy than someone with NPD alone and will lack feelings of guilt or remorse for the damage they cause. Since sadism is often considered a feature of malignant narcissism, an individual with the syndrome may not only lack feelings of guilt or remorse for hurting others but may even derive pleasure from the gratuitous infliction of mental or physical pain on others. These traits were formerly codified in the DSM-III under sadistic personality disorder (SPD).

The malignant narcissist is the most dangerous of manipulators.​

Incapable of identifying and accepting their own suffering, they find balance by making others pay and suffer. How do we distinguish them from the 'simple' egocentric narcisstic manipulator? The latter, when confronted with the reality of their attitudes, behaviors, and their repercussions, can acknowledge the facts and implement mechanisms for change. Let's simplify by saying that the narcissist is more delinquent than malignant. In contrast, the malignant narcissist seems incapable of change. The problem is rooted in the deep structure of their personality.

How to recognise the malignant narcissist?​

• They are seductive
• Intelligent
• Egocentric
• Incapable of empathy
• Display a sense of grandeur
• Feverishly seek admiration
• Poorly accept when their friends are in the spotlight and applauded

Thought patterns of the narcissistic pervert in intimate relationships:​

• "I am brilliant, strong, above the rest, and others are insignificant"
• "One cannot not love me"
• "He can't be mad at me and has no desire for independence"
• "It's not my fault if others are stupid"
• "He will thank me for what I do for him"
• "Without me, he would be nothing"
• "It's an honor for him to be with me"

Individuals who are more susceptible to becoming victims often have certain traits or are in specific situations that make them more vulnerable:​

• High Empathy and Compassion
  • Individuals with a strong sense of empathy and compassion may be more likely to overlook initial red flags and try to help or 'fix' the narcissist.
• Low Self-Esteem
  • Those with low self-esteem or self-worth may be more susceptible to the charm and false confidence displayed by a malignant narcissist.
• Previous Emotional or Psychological Trauma
  • A history of past trauma, especially in childhood or previous relationships, can make individuals more vulnerable to manipulation.
• Desire for Validation
  • Individuals who seek external validation and approval may be more easily swayed by the attention and flattery a malignant narcissist initially offers.
• Lack of Strong Boundaries
  • People who struggle to set or maintain firm boundaries are more susceptible to the controlling and manipulative behaviors of a malignant narcissist.
• Idealistic View of Relationships
  • Those who have an idealistic or romanticized view of love and relationships may overlook warning signs in the hope of achieving a perfect partnership.
• Naivety or Lack of Experience in Relationships
  • Inexperienced individuals may not recognize manipulative behaviors or may misinterpret them as signs of love and passion.
• Co-Dependency Traits
  • Individuals who tend toward co-dependency in relationships may be more likely to tolerate abusive behavior and stay in harmful situations.
• Caretaker Personality
  • People who naturally take on a caretaker role may be more inclined to tolerate abusive behavior, often at the expense of their own well-being.
• Social Isolation
  • Those who are socially isolated or lack a strong support system may be more vulnerable to the manipulative tactics of a malignant narcissist, who may initially offer companionship and attention.

In other words, anyone can become a victim of a malignant narcissist. These traits or situations simply indicate a higher vulnerability, not a certainty of victimization. Understanding and recognizing these factors can help in identifying potentially harmful relationships early on.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

You are a strong individual and you let this thing go on for 5 years hmmmmm….
Perhaps you need to be stronger and just let go of her period.
You already know nothing good is going to come out of this relationship so just stop it once and for all.
Go see a few escorts, go out with your friends go play golf or any other activity that you enjoy that will occupy your time and make you feel good.
There is always another gorgeous young lady around the corner that will treat you much better.

I speak from personal experience, as I have endured multiple instances where she unleashed her narcissistic tendencies on me. As I mentioned earlier, the first time was an incredibly difficult and lengthy process for me.

However, I have grown stronger through extensive therapy and by believing in myself. She will never break me again, I know my own worth and my heart is pure gold.Nevertheless, there is always that lingering 1% chance that this individual has actually changed, and it can be tempting to want to believe in that possibility. Unfortunately, I am well aware that it is merely an illusion.

I suppose that is what happens when you are deeply in love with someone. I agree with you that there are many beautiful individuals out there, but the bond and memories shared with that particular person are truly priceless. It takes a considerable amount of time and effort to cultivate such a deep connection. I sincerely appreciate your advice, my friend.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

In regards to their "disorder type" : "Its not a bug, its a feature". In other words, the stronger you are in whatever place you're in, the more motivated they will be. "How dare you be happy when she is not" kind of thing... its a disgusting behaviour.

I've often heard the term 'Pervers narcissique' used in French, unlike the English term 'perversion,' typically refers to sexual behaviors/disorders. In French, 'pervers' has broader implications. It is used to describe individuals with harmful and morally corrupt personalities, emphasizing their manipulative and malicious interactions with others. This term extends beyond sexual behavior to encompass a range of antisocial, manipulative, and damaging behaviors.

In psychological terms, 'Narcissique' relates to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The French term 'Pervers narcissique' aligns more closely with what is known in English as a 'malignant narcissist' or, in other contexts, an 'amoral narcissist' or someone with Sadistic Personality Disorder (SPD).

Spoiler: Really long reply

Sorry for the long reply, I didn't have the time to compile a shorter one. I figured it could be of interest due to the nature of this site. Not implying that anyone here is one or the other, but speaking from personal experience others may also be more succeptible to falling victim to this situation.

In the term "malignant narcissism", the word "malignant" is used as "passionately and relentlessly malevolent, aggressively malicious". In malignant narcissism, NPD is accompanied by additional symptoms of antisocial, paranoid and sadistic personality disorders. While a person with NPD will deliberately damage other people in pursuit of their own selfish desires, they may regret and will in some circumstances show remorse for doing so.

Because traits of antisocial personality disorder are present in malignant narcissism, the "malignant narcissist" has a more pervasive lack of empathy than someone with NPD alone and will lack feelings of guilt or remorse for the damage they cause. Since sadism is often considered a feature of malignant narcissism, an individual with the syndrome may not only lack feelings of guilt or remorse for hurting others but may even derive pleasure from the gratuitous infliction of mental or physical pain on others. These traits were formerly codified in the DSM-III under sadistic personality disorder (SPD).

The malignant narcissist is the most dangerous of manipulators.​

Incapable of identifying and accepting their own suffering, they find balance by making others pay and suffer. How do we distinguish them from the 'simple' egocentric narcisstic manipulator? The latter, when confronted with the reality of their attitudes, behaviors, and their repercussions, can acknowledge the facts and implement mechanisms for change. Let's simplify by saying that the narcissist is more delinquent than malignant. In contrast, the malignant narcissist seems incapable of change. The problem is rooted in the deep structure of their personality.

How to recognise the malignant narcissist?​

• They are seductive
• Intelligent
• Egocentric
• Incapable of empathy
• Display a sense of grandeur
• Feverishly seek admiration
• Poorly accept when their friends are in the spotlight and applauded

Thought patterns of the narcissistic pervert in intimate relationships:​

• "I am brilliant, strong, above the rest, and others are insignificant"
• "One cannot not love me"
• "He can't be mad at me and has no desire for independence"
• "It's not my fault if others are stupid"
• "He will thank me for what I do for him"
• "Without me, he would be nothing"
• "It's an honor for him to be with me"

Individuals who are more susceptible to becoming victims often have certain traits or are in specific situations that make them more vulnerable:​

• High Empathy and Compassion
  • Individuals with a strong sense of empathy and compassion may be more likely to overlook initial red flags and try to help or 'fix' the narcissist.
• Low Self-Esteem
  • Those with low self-esteem or self-worth may be more susceptible to the charm and false confidence displayed by a malignant narcissist.
• Previous Emotional or Psychological Trauma
  • A history of past trauma, especially in childhood or previous relationships, can make individuals more vulnerable to manipulation.
• Desire for Validation
  • Individuals who seek external validation and approval may be more easily swayed by the attention and flattery a malignant narcissist initially offers.
• Lack of Strong Boundaries
  • People who struggle to set or maintain firm boundaries are more susceptible to the controlling and manipulative behaviors of a malignant narcissist.
• Idealistic View of Relationships
  • Those who have an idealistic or romanticized view of love and relationships may overlook warning signs in the hope of achieving a perfect partnership.
• Naivety or Lack of Experience in Relationships
  • Inexperienced individuals may not recognize manipulative behaviors or may misinterpret them as signs of love and passion.
• Co-Dependency Traits
  • Individuals who tend toward co-dependency in relationships may be more likely to tolerate abusive behavior and stay in harmful situations.
• Caretaker Personality
  • People who naturally take on a caretaker role may be more inclined to tolerate abusive behavior, often at the expense of their own well-being.
• Social Isolation
  • Those who are socially isolated or lack a strong support system may be more vulnerable to the manipulative tactics of a malignant narcissist, who may initially offer companionship and attention.

In other words, anyone can become a victim of a malignant narcissist. These traits or situations simply indicate a higher vulnerability, not a certainty of victimization. Understanding and recognizing these factors can help in identifying potentially harmful relationships early on.

Thank you for sharing your insights on the term 'Pervers narcissique' and its broader implications. It's truly disturbing to witness individuals who become more motivated to bring others down as they see them growing stronger. This intentional and harmful behavior, as if they cannot tolerate others' happiness, is disheartening. It's important to be aware of these behaviors and prioritize our own happiness, setting boundaries to protect ourselves from their toxic influence.

 

[MtlGuyNow]

This is a heartfelt and sensitive thread with some good advice. It takes courage to share and seek help.. Discussing this with friends or family may be difficult. It's not shocking that men have strong feelings too.
It is interesting because it is statistically more common for men to be the controlling narcissist.

Beyond the suggestions above, you may want to Google << Limerence >> , One-sided love can be a complex and emotionally challenging experience to the point that it can be debilitating.
There are dozens of books & websites. The more you know the scarier it is, but cutting off all contact is a requirement.

I read somewhere that even after a "good breakup" there should be a "no contact" rule for 2-3 months. I can recommend that.
Another thing tossed around is that it may take 1 month for every year after a serious relationship to « recover » emotionally. Financially is another story.

Would welcome a woman’s perspective.
Bonne Chance

 

[MtlGuyNow]

I believe that narcissists are unlikely to change unless under the strict control of a doctor who can prescribe them with a significant amount of medication.

Interestingly, it took me a while to realize that I was dealing with a narcissist. In fact, it was only after my therapist explained it to me that I truly understood.

The reason I fell for it was because she would often claim to be taking pills and becoming a better version of herself, which turned out to be complete nonsense. It required a great deal of manipulation and lies to lure me in, and once I took the bait, the nightmare began.

Every time I would unexpectedly encounter her, she would be incredibly charming and pleasant, which always made me think that perhaps she had changed and deserved another chance.
However, I was proven wrong every single time. I now comprehend that I am caught in a cycle where she enters my life, drains my positive energy and frequency to fuel her psychotic tendencies, and then moves on to another victim.

I never realized just how twisted it is to be a narcissist, and I can't fathom how they even live with themselves. I deeply appreciate your advices.

Changing is really really really hard, even when you desperately want to and do everything you can. It’s still possible.
Changing someone else, whether they want to or not, is closer to impossible.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

This is a heartfelt and sensitive thread with some good advice. It takes courage to share and seek help.. Discussing this with friends or family may be difficult. It's not shocking that men have strong feelings too.
It is interesting because it is statistically more common for men to be the controlling narcissist.

Beyond the suggestions above, you may want to Google << Limerence >> , One-sided love can be a complex and emotionally challenging experience to the point that it can be debilitating.
There are dozens of books & websites. The more you know the scarier it is, but cutting off all contact is a requirement.

I read somewhere that even after a "good breakup" there should be a "no contact" rule for 2-3 months. I can recommend that.
Another thing tossed around is that it may take 1 month for every year after a serious relationship to « recover » emotionally. Financially is another story.

Would welcome a woman’s perspective.
Bonne Chance

I want to express my gratitude for the advice you have offered. When it comes to the topic of financial matters and the specific situation involving this individual, it is worth noting that the amount of money I invested in that individual was on a whole other level.

However, I refrained from mentioning this because I firmly believe that your mental well-being takes precedence over any money concerns. Money may come and go, but the value of good health and genuine happiness is truly priceless to me.

 

[TheJames101]

I have plenty of experience with narcissists. They don't change.

There's only one fix.

Cut them out of your life to the extent that you can.

Not all narcissists are psychopaths. But all psychopaths are narcissists.