Should I ever worry about HIV if I always use a condom and don't do anal?

[marco99fire]

I used to do hobbying a year ago but recently developed something like a hiv-phobia. It's more so the stigma than the health effects that worries me, since I know medicine these days are good enough to nullify it. That stigma would also be the reason why I would never tell anyone if I were to get it. i wonder if any of you ever had this fear as well. I know that the escorts here, both indepedent and those in well-known agencies, have a reputation for being safe, but I guess it's like those with a fear of planes -- you tell them the odds of dying in one is like the same as winning the lottery but they are still scared.

I also wonder if anyone here has ever contracted hiv even though they were super careful and always used a condom, but I'd guess such a person wouldn't be on this forum or wouldn't want to share such private matters.

 

[Bobby_]

I used to do hobbying a year ago but recently developed something like a hiv-phobia. It's more so the stigma than the health effects that worries me, since I know medicine these days are good enough to nullify it. That stigma would also be the reason why I would never tell anyone if I were to get it. i wonder if any of you ever had this fear as well. I know that the escorts here, both indepedent and those in well-known agencies, have a reputation for being safe, but I guess it's like those with a fear of planes -- you tell them the odds of dying in one is like the same as winning the lottery but they are still scared.

I also wonder if anyone here has ever contracted hiv even though they were super careful and always used a condom, but I'd guess such a person wouldn't be on this forum or wouldn't want to share such private matters.

It is very unlikely to get it from a woman, especially if she never used intravenous drugs.

Of course you never know, but if you use condoms it’s unlikely to happen. Condoms are effective. If you are really paranoid you can even get a covered bj.

You could also take PrEP, but for a straight man having safe sex, I don’t think it’s necessary. Some sex workers actually take PrEP too, but I would never ask lol

 

[MCTJ]

The short answer to the question in the title is no. Condoms work if they are used properly and consistently. Make sure you use condoms that fit well (snug but not overly tight) with a little bit of lube and you're good.

Also, there is no HIV risk when receiving a blowjob without a condom
The risk when performing oral sex on a woman is considered to be extremely low and some sources say there is no risk.

Oral sex and the risk of HIV transmission | aidsmap

 

[Carmine Falcone]

Marco, MCTJ answered your question very well. I've been a stickler for condom use during coitus even in non-hobbying relationships so I've never feared HIV. What I feared was herpes (herpes simplex 2) because apparently the carrier could be shedding even without visible cold sores. Fast forward to a countless number of DATY and BBBJs with SPs over 10+ years and I'm still thankfully negative for herpes 2.

I left out herpes 1 because practically the entire adult population that has ever kissed someone has that.

It's also a good thing you're concerned about not catching HIV. There are corners of the Internet where people share barebacking info and throw caution to the wind as if HIV is no longer a problem. If someone thinks living in the very fleeting moment by having unprotected sex with someone he doesn't know or who has a lot of sex partners is worth the risk of being on an expensive cocktail of drugs with strong side effects for a lifetime, that's his choice. But it's also my choice to know said person is a damn fool.

 

[Anong]

Ex-President of South Africa Jacob Zuma believed that taking shower after sex washes away any likely infection like HIV?
We need to take all precautions when we get intimate with any unknow person and without any question condom it must.
I am not expert in this but less likely to transmit with salvia?

 

[MCTJ]

Ex-President of South Africa Jacob Zuma believed that taking shower after sex washes away any likely infection like HIV?

False.

I am not expert in this but less likely to transmit with salvia?

Not just less likely. Impossible.

 

[Carmine Falcone]

Ex-President of South Africa Jacob Zuma believed that taking shower after sex washes away any likely infection like HIV?
We need to take all precautions when we get intimate with any unknow person and without any question condom it must.
I am not expert in this but less likely to transmit with salvia?

If following the science is important, I would take info on best HIV prevention tactics with a grain of salt if South Africa is your source. This was the same country in the early 2000s where there was a trend of babies being sexually assaulted due to the circulating myth that sleeping with a virgin will cure your HIV infection! If you've had coitus, especially anal coitus with an *untreated* HIV carrier, no shower is undoing virus transmission.

The caveat of saying untreated is that a HIV+ person whose viral load has been effectively suppressed by medication has significantly less chance of passing the virus onto others. But why take a chance? Wear a condom.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I used to do hobbying a year ago but recently developed something like a hiv-phobia. It's more so the stigma than the health effects that worries me, since I know medicine these days are good enough to nullify it. That stigma would also be the reason why I would never tell anyone if I were to get it. i wonder if any of you ever had this fear as well. I know that the escorts here, both indepedent and those in well-known agencies, have a reputation for being safe, but I guess it's like those with a fear of planes -- you tell them the odds of dying in one is like the same as winning the lottery but they are still scared.

I also wonder if anyone here has ever contracted hiv even though they were super careful and always used a condom, but I'd guess such a person wouldn't be on this forum or wouldn't want to share such private matters.

My friend, with the use of a condom, the likelihood of contracting HIV drops to 1 in 6 million, making your chances of winning the 6/49 lottery higher than acquiring HIV. I believe COVID-19 may have infiltrated your mind and manipulated your thoughts. Cherish your hobby, as life is short and aging is inevitable. Enjoy life and don't worry about HIV as long as you practice safe sex.

 

[Anong]

if South Africa is your source

I quoted Jacob Zuma which he said/believed is true.
No any sane person can believe the nonsense which he said.
My Immigration to Canada was processed in Pretoria, South Africa in 1996. During my stay there 2 girls offered me sex and I was so afraid of AIDS that even with the condom I was not willing to do that. Because that time Africa was portrayed as hot spot for HIV. Who scared me of likely infection:
When American actor Rock Hudson died in 1985 with AIDS. His death highlighted this disease. And after that an avalanche of information came in this respect and at that time I read a tons of articles on AIDS and made me concerned.
I always believe on science and not Jacob Zuma. It was just to make a laugh of person who was governing one of the important countries.

 

[Carmine Falcone]

I quoted Jacob Zuma which he said/believed is true.
No any sane person can believe the nonsense which he said.
My Immigration to Canada was processed in Pretoria, South Africa in 1996. During my stay there 2 girls offered me sex and I was so afraid of AIDS that even with the condom I was not willing to do that. Because that time Africa was portrayed as hot spot for HIV. Who scared me of likely infection:
When American actor Rock Hudson died in 1985 with AIDS. His death highlighted this disease. And after that an avalanche of information came in this respect and at that time I read a tons of articles on AIDS and made me concerned.
I always believe on science and not Jacob Zuma. It was just to make a laugh of person who was governing one of the important countries.

I'm glad you are sane. But your first sentence is emblematic of one of the problems plaguing modern society even after a few centuries of one version or another of the scientific method: anyone can believe literally anything!

Since we're talking about disease, before the scientific method and germ theory the Greeks believed all diseases (infectious, metabolic, neoplastic etc) was due to the imbalance of four fluid humors. I could mention many of the crazy things that people believe that defy logic, people that consider themselves "sane," but I won't. That Zuma believed it to be true doesn't mean much. Belief isn't proof.

 

[cricklewood]

If you use properly fitting condoms for everything you have no reason to worry about HIV, you can calm you paranoia. I think the info covered by others is good here, with uncovered BJ/DATY you have more risk of getting STI than HIV for example. Without being pendantic though I'd like to point out some still flawed thinking, the idea that hetero sexual activity is less likely to result in HIV infection is flawed thinking especially if we look at the rates of infection that have increased more in those groups than with LGBTQ+ population. The reason being is that segment is super hyper aware of the risks and is the segment that gets tested more regularly, talk more openly about sex/partner rates/preferences/testing etc.. as well as having taken advantage of the availability of Prep.

I remember once at a bar a co-worker once trying to make the argument, that it wasn't gay if you topped only if you bottomed (not that it would have been an issue if he was), and that he considered himself def a hetero alpha male and so imagine this guy getting his fix on the DL and never letting the women in his life know and likely maybe playing fast and loose with protection use. Think of how folks probably want to experiment or visit trans provider for kicks or whatever, I don't say this to shame anybody, I am super open to the spectrum of preferences but more to point out these things. I know tons of queer folks who are on prep but know of little to no "hetero" folks who are, yet I know plenty of them engage in risky behavior when they could mitigate it by taking prep or whatever, shit it's practically free in many cases. Folks could be more open to talking about things, don't forget how strong of a factor shame/societal pressure is.

 

[sorengard]

Having worked at a clinic for the past decade...

If you only engage in protected sex with female SPs, your odds of contracting HIV are well below 1% (being circumcised lowers the odds even further). Assuming the SP has a high viral load at the time of intercourse, think 1/10,000 per instance. ( = 4/10,000 transmission rate * (1- .75) to reflect efficacy of condom). Given the SP's viral load (or HIV status for that matter) is unknown to most clients at the time of intercourse, you can probably discount these odds by ~95% (to reflect a 5% probability the SP has HIV and a high viral load). So to the OP asking how likely I'd say 1/200,000 per instance with protection but unsure of SP's status. Obviously these are very rough estimates but they give you a sense of the ballpark you're playing in.

That said, as noted above, there are STIs/STDs which condoms don't fully protect against with herpes simplex 2 being the most common one. Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes 2. However, physicians are unlikely to test for herpes 2 unless the patient is exhibiting symptoms.

There are other STIs/STDs which are becoming increasingly common but most of these can be cured with antibiotics, e.g., chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis, or (mostly) go away on their own, e.g., HPV.

As for contracting HIV from a BBBJ, my colleague, whom I respect and who handles my testing, said it's technically possible but you'd end up cited in the New England Journal of Medicine.

My advice is to always use protection and get tested after each encounter.

 

[Nostalgia]

Having worked at a clinic for the past decade...

If you only engage in protected sex with female escorts, your odds of contracting HIV are well below 1% (being circumcised lowers the odds even further). Think 1/10,000 per instance.

That said, as noted above, there are STIs/STDs which condoms don't fully protect against with herpes simplex 2 being the most common one. Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes 2. However, physicians are unlikely to test for herpes 2 unless the patient is exhibiting symptoms.

There are other STIs/STDs which are becoming increasingly common but most of these can be cured with antibiotics, e.g., chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis, or go away on their own, e.g., HPV.

My advice is to always use protection and get tested after each encounter.

Something I have always wondered and please excuse my ignorance on these matters but don't massages with happy ending also carry a significant risk of herpes? If the masseuse is stroking several guys a day with nothing covering her hand isn't that extremely risky? I am asking because I have heard several people say they think there is no risk to this activity. That just doesn't seem accurate to me.

 

[TheJames101]

Something I have always wondered and please excuse my ignorance on these matters but don't massages with happy ending also carry a significant risk of herpes? If the masseuse is stroking several guys a day with nothing covering her hand isn't that extremely risky? I am asking because I have heard several people say they think there is no risk to this activity. That just doesn't seem accurate to me.

No risk.

 

[sorengard]

Something I have always wondered and please excuse my ignorance on these matters but don't massages with happy ending also carry a significant risk of herpes? If the masseuse is stroking several guys a day with nothing covering her hand isn't that extremely risky? I am asking because I have heard several people say they think there is no risk to this activity. That just doesn't seem accurate to me.

It depends. As you know, herpes is spread by skin to skin contact. Sex and fluid exchange are not necessary, hence why safe sex barrier methods do not protect fully from it.

If it's just a HJ, there is no risk of contracting herpes 2. However, if the client is touching the SP's genitals with his hand, the SP is touching her own genitals or the SP offers a full body slide, then herpes is definitely a non-zero possibility.

 

[Anna Bijou]

My advice is to always use protection and get tested after each encounter.

Sure, you can go after each encounter but it can take some time before it is detectable, so its not necessarily accurate if you don't wait long enough.


An incubation period is the span of time from when you first come in contact with an STD to when antibodies form to fight the STD. Tests look for the presence of these antibodies during testing, and if you do not wait until the incubation period has ended, you may not allow your body sufficient time to develop enough antibodies for it to show up in testing, causing a false-negative result.

It depends. As you know, herpes is spread by skin to skin contact. Sex and fluid exchange are not necessary, hence why safe sex barrier methods do not protect fully from it.

If it's just a HJ, there is no risk of contracting herpes 2. However, if the client is touching the SP's genitals with his hand, the SP is touching her own genitals or the SP offers a full body slide, then herpes is definitely a non-zero possibility.

Technically, syphilis as well, I think - if someone has a chancre sore, it's transmissible through skin to skin contact. It's painless so s+the person may not know its there.

 

[sorengard]

Sure, you can go after each encounter but it can take some time before it is detectable, so its not necessarily accurate if you don't wait long enough.



An incubation period is the span of time from when you first come in contact with an STD to when antibodies form to fight the STD. Tests look for the presence of these antibodies during testing, and if you do not wait until the incubation period has ended, you may not allow your body sufficient time to develop enough antibodies for it to show up in testing, causing a false-negative result.


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You're absolutely right about waiting until the incubation period has ended. If you're seeing SPs that frequently, I'd recommend monthly testing or at least several times a year at a minimum. Once a year is not sufficient if you're seeing SPs every month.

 

[Anna Bijou]

You're absolutely right about waiting until the incubation period has ended. If you're seeing SPs that frequently, I'd recommend monthly testing or at least several times a year at a minimum. Once a year is not sufficient if you're seeing SPs every month.

They recommend we (providers) get tested every 3 months. Nothing prevents someone from going more often, of course. But going every week or 2 would probably not be necessary. Lol

 

[sorengard]

They recommend we (providers) get tested every 3 months. Nothing prevents someone from going more often, of course. But going every week or 2 would probably not be necessary. Lol

Makes sense given the incubation period. Thank you for the information.

 

[No Mercy]

I read somewhere some time ago that catching an STD is more likely with regular girls and not escorts, but I can't point to that study as it was some time ago. As for HIV, you catch it mainly from bareback anal sex. If that wasn't the case, HIV would be as common as the common cold.