Sp world vs real world

[johnybird]

I don’t see escorts to replace having a relationship. It’s a way for me to maintain some sort of serenity until I want a relationship or I stumble upon one.

I’ve been out of the game for a long time now (way before the internet). So meeting people in my social circles gets a bit more difficult. When I was younger going to the clubs or bars and hanging out with a bunch of single friends was a weekly thing, even Weddings were happening almost every week, so there were opportunities to meet single people. These days with the responsibilities that we have and being responsible for little ones makes it even more difficult to ‘get out there’. Doesn’t help that everyone’s married either. Online dating seems to be the only option, but how can you even judge a person by a picture and a bio. I prefer interacting with the living breathing person in front of me.

It’s great being in this lifestyle and having fun, meeting wonderful people. I’ve experienced things that if you told me just 3 years ago I’d be experiencing I would tell you to lay off the crack.

It’s all fantastic but it’s not enough, at least not for me. Once I leave, after the time is up, I want to go back an hour or two later! and not because I enjoyed the play but because I enjoyed her company. I’m far from being a needy person but when I lay in bed at night, when I’m enjoying a cup of coffee on the deck, when I’m sick, having a good day, having a bad day or simply plopping myself on the couch to watch tv, it’s so much better when you have someone there sharing the good and bad moments with you, growing old with you, standing beside you, being there for you, loving you.

There is a lot of effort in keeping a relationship going I agree, there are ups and downs, but hey that’s what relationships are. And as long as your happy with the person you are with, it is soooo worth the effort :smile:

 

[Jamesrenard44]

Great text johnybird!!

 

[clark_larson]

Men are hunters. Instead of going to hunt you go to the restaurant, that's how it is with prostitution.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Also there is a demand for it as there are many men who are shy or lack swagg. It is very difficult to attract a beautiful woman to want you when she is constantly getting bombarded with various men hitting on them. When men are expected to make the move and court women and lead it is beyond the skills of some men hence they resort to purchasing sex to fulfill their sexual needs and emotional needs. Some men had very limited contact with females this is the most contact they ever had. My Two Cents.

 

[tiannas]

I am simply not good at relationships. Sure, they start well, you are dating and having fun, but then they tend to settle into routine, or one person goes in one direction while the other goes the other way. I'm also a little selfish, and I put other priorities before a relationship. Maybe I'm simply just not ready to settle down, but that's okay with me, because I really am happy being single at this point in my life. In fact I am reluctant to date people my age as many of them are looking to marry, maybe have kids, buy a house and 2 cars...

Dating has two sides, there is the fun of socializing, getting to know someone, the sex - but then there is the crap that goes with it, the games people play, that I can do without. Enter escorting. I get to have those social interactions, the sex, without the bs, without complications. I don't have to worry about being judged for having sex on the first date, because it's expected! I really enjoy the interaction with the majority of my clients, especially the longer dates and repeats where we get to know each other. It just really works for me right now.

I see a lot of married men and the theme is common, most are missing some intimacy in their relationships, physical and sometimes emotional as well. It's not enough for them to throw in the towel and end the relationship, but enough that that they seek companionship. Some gentleman are travellers and have companionship needs while they are away. Some men just don't want to commit to one person at this time, some are just really into the variety of different women.

Obviously I'm biased, but I simply don't see anything wrong with men choosing to frequent escorts. If they simply don't feel like dating or pursuing a relationship, if they have needs outside of their relationship, I'm happy that we can provide them with what they are looking for.

 

[FunSexyMan]

I am simply not good at relationships. Sure, they start well, you are dating and having fun, but then they tend to settle into routine, or one person goes in one direction while the other goes the other way. I'm also a little selfish, and I put other priorities before a relationship. Maybe I'm simply just not ready to settle down, but that's okay with me, because I really am happy being single at this point in my life. In fact I am reluctant to date people my age as many of them are looking to marry, maybe have kids, buy a house and 2 cars...

Ah crap!!!! And here I was planning to propose to you at the next VIP party.

 

[yoyo114]

I have been reading this thread with curiosity. I have seen four lovely SPs so far. One was a tantric massage provider who was great! My reasons for seeing an escort just don't seem to come close to matching anyone else. At least from what I have read in this thread and elsewhere. I have been married for 20 years now. My wife is beautiful. She is 44, a couple years younger than me. I not only love her but I like her. We love spending time together and especially traveling together. Sex is always great with her. We have always been very compatible. We share great intimacy as well, both physical and emotional. So why would someone who feels this way visit an escort?

It is a hard question to answer. Usually at this point someone will say something about the fundamental nature of a man. But I call bullshit on those kinds of answers. For me it is both simple and very complicated. Twenty years is a long time to have sex with only one person. No matter how wonderful that person is. I want to share physical intimacy with someone else. I don't want to leave my wife. And there is no way she can solve the problem.

Some say I should be open with her. Maybe we can come to an agreement. Perhaps we can have an open relationship. These are all good questions. Perhaps it is fear that keeps me from broaching that subject with my wife. Perhaps it is the knowledge that she will be hurt beyond my ability to assure her that I love and adore and lust after her more now than ever before. For whatever reason, I will see escorts. Rarely but regularly until the need to be physically intimate with someone else lessens or goes away. And I will continue to love my wife and lust after her.

 

[Doggyluver]

I began in this "Hobby" while I was still married, ok not happily but all the same married. As I look back and ask myself why I would go out and pay for sex vs staying home and doing my wife, the answers were pretty simple. My wife wasn't a sexual person. She would have sex with me infrequently I think because she felt that she couldn't refuse me any longer without an argument. For several years I put up with this and accepted that this was married life and I shouldn't expect more. Then I decided in this age of the internet to see what was available. That was back in the day when I discovered Robin's spreadsheet. (some of you will remember) I scoured the spreadsheet and identified a girl who I thought might be interesting and booked a time to meet. Wow, was I ever nervous as I walked up to her door lol I saw her many times over a few months and it was fun. Yes I was paying for something that should have been available at home but there was no headaches (in more ways that one). She was up for it when I booked, gave it her all while I was there and I left satisfied with the service. For me it wasn't anything more than the fact that there was someone who was up for it when I was. I eventually met a girl and had a relationship for 6 years and although the sex was amazing in the beginning it dropped off over time and felt like I was married again, except that she really enjoyed sex and was up for it regularly although not all the time like me After that I went back to seeing SP's on a regular basis and although I was getting laid as much as I could afford, I was feeling more and more like there was something missing, it was the affection, not just the sex. I missed the cuddling, the sleeping with another warm human next to me, sharing a meal with someone, walking hand in hand with someone. So yea, although I still hobby for the physical need, I feel empty more often than not because there is something missing..............

 

[eviltmp]

Wow, boring thread title but there is a lot of heartfelt sharing goin on. Keep it up...

 

[johnybird]

[Women in their early 20s are attractive but I think I would feel awkward around them no matter how beautiful they look. I have however seen several ladies advertise on Merb in their 30s and 40s that I would like to contact especially the ones on the Indy website.

....Now I just need to take the first step and contact one of these beautiful ladies and then perhaps I will know first hand the experiences of posts that I have been reading.

Sam21, I feel your pain more than you know.

You should take that first step because it will be good for you in a lot of ways, and it IS the best alternative (albeit temporarily).

I understand what you are saying about meeting women in their early 20's might feel awkward, but you should go with your gut when looking for someone you want to spend your time with. The first Independent escort I saw was in her early 20s', and to be honest with you I didn't even notice her age when I decided to see her, and there was no awkwardness or even any feeling that there was a big age gap between us.

That being said, I have seen women in their 20's-30's & 40's age ranges and my experiences have been nothing less than wonderful with any of those age groups.

I could only guess what you are looking for, but if you contact one of these Independent women you will not be sorry :smile:

 

[cederhum]

I began in this "Hobby" while I was still married, ok not happily but all the same married. As I look back and ask myself why I would go out and pay for sex vs staying home and doing my wife, the answers were pretty simple. My wife wasn't a sexual person. She would have sex with me infrequently I think because she felt that she couldn't refuse me any longer without an argument. For several years I put up with this and accepted that this was married life and I shouldn't expect more. Then I decided in this age of the internet to see what was available. That was back in the day when I discovered Robin's spreadsheet. (some of you will remember) I scoured the spreadsheet and identified a girl who I thought might be interesting and booked a time to meet. Wow, was I ever nervous as I walked up to her door lol I saw her many times over a few months and it was fun. Yes I was paying for something that should have been available at home but there was no headaches (in more ways that one). She was up for it when I booked, gave it her all while I was there and I left satisfied with the service. For me it wasn't anything more than the fact that there was someone who was up for it when I was. I eventually met a girl and had a relationship for 6 years and although the sex was amazing in the beginning it dropped off over time and felt like I was married again, except that she really enjoyed sex and was up for it regularly although not all the time like me After that I went back to seeing SP's on a regular basis and although I was getting laid as much as I could afford, I was feeling more and more like there was something missing, it was the affection, not just the sex. I missed the cuddling, the sleeping with another warm human next to me, sharing a meal with someone, walking hand in hand with someone. So yea, although I still hobby for the physical need, I feel empty more often than not because there is something missing..............

Merci M. Doggyluver, vous traduisez bien ma pensée...l'anglais n'est pas ma langue maternelle mais j'ai compris l'essentiel du message. Je ne suis pas dans ce " Hobby" depuis longtemps mais, effectivement, après chaque rencontre ......je ressens le vide , une fois la porte fermée.
C'est pourquoi je me demande si je vais poursuivre dans cette direction ......

 

[johnybird]

What I am looking for is a no strings, semi regular ( once or twice a month) intimate encounter for an hour or two with an SP with whom I could have an interesting conversation, share a glass of wine, and be treated as if I am not intruding on them.This I know will depend on if we have somekind of chemistry.

Then you came to the right place :smile:

Let me assure you, you will meet some wonderful women.

 

[talkinghead]

I don’t see escorts to replace having a relationship. It’s a way for me to maintain some sort of serenity until I want a relationship or I stumble upon one

Please bare with me as this is my first post and I may be doing it all wrong and rambling on.
I agree with the above quote.
I don't see how escorts can possibly replace a loving relationship, however I am starting to believe that they can be the best alternative.
I was married for more than 25 years to the most wonderful lady that I have ever met or will meet and will forever be in love with her
Unfortunately cancer does not care if you are a good person or not.
I have never been with an escort or any other woman for that matter during these years simply because I never felt the need for it.
It has now b een a couple of years and I am considering looking for companionship but I can't see myself being ready for dating or having any type of serious commitment.
The other issue I have is that while in my eyes my wife was the most beautiful woman ever(she was my age) unfortunately I find very few women in that age bracket attractive, and I am sure I would not have a chance with the ones that I do find appealing in the real world, that is just the way it is and probably the way it should be. Women in their early 20s are attractive but I think I would feel awkward around them no matter how beautiful they look. I have however seen several ladies advertise on Merb in their 30s and 40s that I would like to contact especially the ones on the Indy website.

So I guess what I am trying to say with all my rambling is that I believe that there is room for both the SP and the real world, but the two should never be confused, there is nothing in my mind that can replace a loving relationship and family born from it, you will retain that forever, but we should all be grateful to the wonderful SP that offer the next best thing. Now I just need to take the first step and contact one of these beautiful ladies and then perhaps I will know first hand the experiences of posts that I have been reading.

This is a most thoughtful, genuine, and touching post. I wish you good luck and bonne chance in your adventures in the "hobby." If you don't mind advice, do know that it can take some time to feel comfortable doing it, and that I have always found every SP to be surprisingly unique. Each brings her self and world to the meeting. It can take a while to learn what you want and how to read between the lines of the ads. I also would suggest that, while agencies can be a blast and very cost-effective, in general independents will probably offer a more mature, sensitive, and even compassionate approach. (See Tianna's post.) Finally, when you have a good night, a bottle of wine, a few hours booked, and things really click--then I find that it can be very, very real and wonderful--even if (or because???) it ends when the door shuts. Good luck!

 

[loverboy]

I don’t see escorts to replace having a relationship. It’s a way for me to maintain some sort of serenity until I want a relationship or I stumble upon one.

I’ve been out of the game for a long time now (way before the internet). So meeting people in my social circles gets a bit more difficult. When I was younger going to the clubs or bars and hanging out with a bunch of single friends was a weekly thing, even Weddings were happening almost every week, so there were opportunities to meet single people. These days with the responsibilities that we have and being responsible for little ones makes it even more difficult to ‘get out there’. Doesn’t help that everyone’s married either. Online dating seems to be the only option, but how can you even judge a person by a picture and a bio. I prefer interacting with the living breathing person in front of me.

It’s great being in this lifestyle and having fun, meeting wonderful people. I’ve experienced things that if you told me just 3 years ago I’d be experiencing I would tell you to lay off the crack.

It’s all fantastic but it’s not enough, at least not for me. Once I leave, after the time is up, I want to go back an hour or two later! and not because I enjoyed the play but because I enjoyed her company. I’m far from being a needy person but when I lay in bed at night, when I’m enjoying a cup of coffee on the deck, when I’m sick, having a good day, having a bad day or simply plopping myself on the couch to watch tv, it’s so much better when you have someone there sharing the good and bad moments with you, growing old with you, standing beside you, being there for you, loving you.

There is a lot of effort in keeping a relationship going I agree, there are ups and downs, but hey that’s what relationships are. And as long as your happy with the person you are with, it is soooo worth the effort :smile:

Nicely said johnybird.

Unfortunaly sometimes it's like finding a needle in a hay stack. When u find that hay stack it's worth it.I thought I found my better half years ago & finally said to myself I don't ever want to go back in this hobby.
5 years after I waited 8 months after relationship feel part & got back in.
I tried the dating thing but was a nightmare, thus brings me back here.I have to say since I returned to the hobby in 2010 I've meet a lot of really nice SP's some I would not mind dating & the sex has been amazing better than ever.
Only difference with the hobby it's more lustful satisfaction & a need that needs to be fulfilled every once in awhile, but in a real relationship for me I'm actually making love to the woman which gives me a whole different feeling of satisfaction which I cannot get from using SP's.

 

[randolph]

I relate to a lot of what is said here. Late 50s, wife disappeared a few years back. I do date, am decent looking but am not attracted to women my age--can't help it. I certainly would continue to be attracted to my ex: here is a difference between aging with someone, and starting afresh later in life. Older women do have huge amounts to offer, and I would love to be in a relationship. But just can't find a situation where my heart would skip a beat for someone older--that condition requires physical attraction. The problem is younger women, say 15 years younger and more sexual, aren't interested in older guys--and they are right, because we all will run out steam sooner than they will. I guess all of this is tied in to being wistful for youth. So the beautiful wonderful escorts we all see do fill that need. But of course it's missing the emotional connection. I guess the best I can do.