Quite often I see the General as being too nosey and quite judgemental on here, why do you want escorts to pour out their personal details on a public forum? Since a few do, why can't you accept that they are honest with their feelings?
SPs and personal relationships
- Thread starter General Gonad
- Start date
AquaVulva Man said:
I am not pressuring anyone into divulging personal information. If an SP wants to share, that's entirely up to her. I would like it but I do not expect it so your accusations are baseless. If you don't like the thread, then ignore it.
GG
Orgasms are not based on emotions
What do emotions have to do with multiple orgasms? Read what Dr. Ruth, the famous sexologist has to say to this young lady:
How can I have multiple orgasms?
by Dr. Ruth Westheimer
My boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until we're married, but we still find many ways to enjoy each other. I'm able to have an orgasm when he touches me with his fingers and when I'm masturbating. But I've noticed that whether I'm masturbating or he's doing it for me, I can only orgasm once, then not again for a long time. After I've climaxed the first time, my clitoris gets really sensitive, and although I want to orgasm again and it feels close, it almost hurts and I just can't seem to do it. I feel really bad because I know my boyfriend wants to please me and feels like he's not doing it well enough. I don't want to fake more orgasms to make him happy, because then I'd feel guilty. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to have multiple orgasms?
>>Dr. Ruth answers:
I don't know what your favorite meal is, but let's pretend it's steak and French fries. So you're at a restaurant, you've just finished a nice juicy steak with lots of fries and you're feeling really full. Then the waiter comes over, puts down another plate of steak and fries in front of you and says, "With the compliments of the chef." It's free! You may be able to stuff down another couple of mouthfuls, but unless you're a 300-pound football player, you would probably gag after the third bite. That's analogous to your situation with orgasms. After you already have a satisfying orgasm, you're not going to be ready for another until you "digest" the first one.
You've probably heard that some women are multiorgasmic. It's true, but there's a difference between them and you. Imagine that when the waiter brought your first order of steak and fries, it was on a tiny little plate and you cleaned it all up in a couple of bites. You wouldn't feel fully satisfied from that, would you? When the waiter brought the next little plate, you'd clean that one up too. Eventually, after a few plates, you might feel satiated, but maybe not.
Women who are multiorgasmic don't get satiated by their first orgasm, and so they want more. I'm not going to guess who's better off, those women who are fully satisfied after one orgasm or those who need many. The fact remains that you are who you are. If you're satisfied with one orgasm, that's great -- as long as you get that one orgasm. You don't require another one, and if you try to force yourself, it won't be very pleasurable. So stop worrying about this, and tell your boyfriend to stop pressuring you into having more than one orgasm.
Zaphyr said:
What do emotions have to do with multiple orgasms? Read what Dr. Ruth, the famous sexologist has to say to this young lady:
How can I have multiple orgasms?
by Dr. Ruth Westheimer
My boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until we're married, but we still find many ways to enjoy each other. I'm able to have an orgasm when he touches me with his fingers and when I'm masturbating. But I've noticed that whether I'm masturbating or he's doing it for me, I can only orgasm once, then not again for a long time. After I've climaxed the first time, my clitoris gets really sensitive, and although I want to orgasm again and it feels close, it almost hurts and I just can't seem to do it. I feel really bad because I know my boyfriend wants to please me and feels like he's not doing it well enough. I don't want to fake more orgasms to make him happy, because then I'd feel guilty. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to have multiple orgasms?
>>Dr. Ruth answers:
I don't know what your favorite meal is, but let's pretend it's steak and French fries. So you're at a restaurant, you've just finished a nice juicy steak with lots of fries and you're feeling really full. Then the waiter comes over, puts down another plate of steak and fries in front of you and says, "With the compliments of the chef." It's free! You may be able to stuff down another couple of mouthfuls, but unless you're a 300-pound football player, you would probably gag after the third bite. That's analogous to your situation with orgasms. After you already have a satisfying orgasm, you're not going to be ready for another until you "digest" the first one.
You've probably heard that some women are multiorgasmic. It's true, but there's a difference between them and you. Imagine that when the waiter brought your first order of steak and fries, it was on a tiny little plate and you cleaned it all up in a couple of bites. You wouldn't feel fully satisfied from that, would you? When the waiter brought the next little plate, you'd clean that one up too. Eventually, after a few plates, you might feel satiated, but maybe not.
Women who are multiorgasmic don't get satiated by their first orgasm, and so they want more. I'm not going to guess who's better off, those women who are fully satisfied after one orgasm or those who need many. The fact remains that you are who you are. If you're satisfied with one orgasm, that's great -- as long as you get that one orgasm. You don't require another one, and if you try to force yourself, it won't be very pleasurable. So stop worrying about this, and tell your boyfriend to stop pressuring you into having more than one orgasm.
Monogamy and marriage evolved over the hundreds of thousands of years of human existence. For all but the last 50, women had little control of their reproduction and could not support themselves. Religious authorities and the state exerted considerable pressure to reinforce monogamy.
Since many of the reasons for monogamy are no longer valid, a new balance in heterosexual relationships must be established. The high divorce rates and the confusion about what is expected to be a real man or woman make it clear that a couple of generations are not enough for a balance to be achieved. I don't believe that I could handle an open marriage, but see no evil in the Zaphyr and her hubbie's relationship. I think of them as pioneers.
Since many of the reasons for monogamy are no longer valid, a new balance in heterosexual relationships must be established. The high divorce rates and the confusion about what is expected to be a real man or woman make it clear that a couple of generations are not enough for a balance to be achieved. I don't believe that I could handle an open marriage, but see no evil in the Zaphyr and her hubbie's relationship. I think of them as pioneers.
The Hite Reports for Men & Women
I fully agree with you. I read the Hite Reports (both of them...Men & Women) back in the early 90's. I read the one for women because i also wanted to have a woman's perspective on sex and the opposite sex. I must admit that these two books increased my sexual awareness by 90% and i attribute 'some' of my lovemaking skills to the books.
Zaphyr....even though i've lurked in the background, i've truly enjoyed reading your posts in this thread. You definitely are a breath of fresh air!
Zaphyr said:
I fully agree with you. I read the Hite Reports (both of them...Men & Women) back in the early 90's. I read the one for women because i also wanted to have a woman's perspective on sex and the opposite sex. I must admit that these two books increased my sexual awareness by 90% and i attribute 'some' of my lovemaking skills to the books.
Zaphyr....even though i've lurked in the background, i've truly enjoyed reading your posts in this thread. You definitely are a breath of fresh air!
Thank you. I've copied the list and will be looking for these books the next time i enter Chapters. They would also make a great gift for an sp, i think. Well, one who enjoys to read english books.
I also read both volumes of "The Joy of Sex" throughly in the late 80's/early 90's. My take on the matter was that i might as well be the best lover i can be in my adult life, which will also benefit not only my partner(s), but myself also. I always try to excel at everything i put my mind into instead of simply being satisfied by a shit-ass effort. That's just me, what can i say....
I also read both volumes of "The Joy of Sex" throughly in the late 80's/early 90's. My take on the matter was that i might as well be the best lover i can be in my adult life, which will also benefit not only my partner(s), but myself also. I always try to excel at everything i put my mind into instead of simply being satisfied by a shit-ass effort. That's just me, what can i say....
Is it lust or love?
Zaphyr and Doc,
Thank you for bringing the Hite books to my attention. The only books I have ever read on sex are the Masters & Johson study on Heterosexuality and another one called Sperm Wars, which was excellent.
Now, it is possible that we are confusing emotions with lust. Emotions are more important for women. But you cannot just turn emotions on or off. Lust is another matter. It's roots are in our hormones and it is a powerful force to reckon with, especially for us men. (see article below from askmen.com)
Zaphyr, as far as being an expert in sex, you may be intelligent but I feel you're too young to proclaim yourself an expert. I only met ONE real expert in sex so far in this hobby and it was the 50-year old SP Lili Love. She understands sex better than any study, psychologist or sexologist out there. I am dead serious about that; her many years of experience show when she discusses various topics on sex and relationships. She blew me away and I still think about what she told me about how to think about sex, love and life.
GG
Are You In Love Or Lust?
By Matthew Fitzgerald
Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.
The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.
And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states, which can make the male of the species "want to be a better man."
Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.
in love with lust
For men, lust is a heady experience; the brain goes on hold and red-hot surges of testosterone run the show. Lust -- like love -- is truly blind. This is why, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to tell whether you're in lust or love; whether she may be "The One," or merely a passing fancy who'll have your blood boiling for only a short while.
This is because men are perfectly capable of engaging in sex before they forge emotional bonds with a woman -- and those raging hormones can easily disguise themselves as feelings of love.
The real danger is that both lust and love can rob a man of his natural strength and defenses -- and then it's all too easy to hand his male power over to a woman for sex-ploitation .
Lust is especially dangerous because it causes a man to think with his crotch and throw all reason and logic to the wind. When a man's in lust he doesn't care if he and his partner have anything in common. He's not interested in where she comes from or where she's going. His brain is only focused on using his key to unlock the door to the secret cave. If his partner's only in lust, she'll use this against him; but if they're both falling in love, this sexuality is a bond.
Find out how to tell instantly which category you're in…
Zaphyr and Doc,
Thank you for bringing the Hite books to my attention. The only books I have ever read on sex are the Masters & Johson study on Heterosexuality and another one called Sperm Wars, which was excellent.
Now, it is possible that we are confusing emotions with lust. Emotions are more important for women. But you cannot just turn emotions on or off. Lust is another matter. It's roots are in our hormones and it is a powerful force to reckon with, especially for us men. (see article below from askmen.com)
Zaphyr, as far as being an expert in sex, you may be intelligent but I feel you're too young to proclaim yourself an expert. I only met ONE real expert in sex so far in this hobby and it was the 50-year old SP Lili Love. She understands sex better than any study, psychologist or sexologist out there. I am dead serious about that; her many years of experience show when she discusses various topics on sex and relationships. She blew me away and I still think about what she told me about how to think about sex, love and life.
GG
Are You In Love Or Lust?
By Matthew Fitzgerald
Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.
The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.
And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states, which can make the male of the species "want to be a better man."
Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.
in love with lust
For men, lust is a heady experience; the brain goes on hold and red-hot surges of testosterone run the show. Lust -- like love -- is truly blind. This is why, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to tell whether you're in lust or love; whether she may be "The One," or merely a passing fancy who'll have your blood boiling for only a short while.
This is because men are perfectly capable of engaging in sex before they forge emotional bonds with a woman -- and those raging hormones can easily disguise themselves as feelings of love.
The real danger is that both lust and love can rob a man of his natural strength and defenses -- and then it's all too easy to hand his male power over to a woman for sex-ploitation .
Lust is especially dangerous because it causes a man to think with his crotch and throw all reason and logic to the wind. When a man's in lust he doesn't care if he and his partner have anything in common. He's not interested in where she comes from or where she's going. His brain is only focused on using his key to unlock the door to the secret cave. If his partner's only in lust, she'll use this against him; but if they're both falling in love, this sexuality is a bond.
Find out how to tell instantly which category you're in…
Last edited:
Zaphyr said:
Zaphyr,
I apologize if I took you seriously...anyways, it's too bad you're not working this weekend.
Enjoy your time off and forget about this thread.
GG
Zaphyr said:
You're quite correct. I forgot that when i first read the "Hite Report for Women", i had borrowed the copy from my ex. She was from Montreal and didn't speak much english....i now remember that the book was indeed in french. Too bad she didn't read Shere Hite's Report for Men. Maybe we would have lasted longer.
Some More Books
A great book for women who lack confidence about their looks:
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
A great book about womens sexuality and health:
Our Bodies, Ourselves by the Boston Womens Health Book Collective
Another surprisingly good book on sex:
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Winks &Semans
Another favourite of mine:
Sex Work:Writings by Women in the Sex Industry;EDs: Delacoste&Alexander
A book on open relationships and Polyamoury:
the Ethical Slut by Easton and Liszt
I highly reccomend all of the books. Very insightful. Very informative. They make great reference books.
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
A great book for women who lack confidence about their looks:
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
A great book about womens sexuality and health:
Our Bodies, Ourselves by the Boston Womens Health Book Collective
Another surprisingly good book on sex:
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Winks &Semans
Another favourite of mine:
Sex Work:Writings by Women in the Sex Industry;EDs: Delacoste&Alexander
A book on open relationships and Polyamoury:
the Ethical Slut by Easton and Liszt
I highly reccomend all of the books. Very insightful. Very informative. They make great reference books.
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
One of my ol' friends whom i once regarded as possibly the top indy in Mtl at the time once gave me 2 books for my birthday, which dealt with the trade. One of them was "The Happy Hooker", by Xaviera Hollander, and the other one was a journal of a famous NYC madam. My friend suggested i'd get to know her better if i read those books.
DOC>>>I am familiar with "the Happy Hooker" but could you please supply more details on this other book?
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
naughtylady said:
I can't find the book right now, but i believe it's called "Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl".....here is a link to the author and an interview with her:
http://5x5media.com/eye/inte/tquan.shtml
I already own a copy of the book!
The author is Tracy Quan.
She has a second book out now: Diary of a Married Call Girl
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
The author is Tracy Quan.
She has a second book out now: Diary of a Married Call Girl
Ronnie,
Naughtylady
Zaphyr vs Dr Ruth
When it comes to the question of Multiple Orgasms....
Zaphyr wins hands down.
Emotions as well as dozens of other factors play a key role in how, or even if, a woman experiences orgasms in general and MO`s in particular.
I `ve been with several women who`ve started off with one or two orgasms a night and over time have turned into multi-orgasmic sex machines.
What Dr Ruth said is BS....single orgasm are not neccessarily stronger than any single MO , and a woman`s capacity to handle MO , may change over time depending on multiple factors , not the least of which is her emotional state with her partner.
Dr Cloud
When it comes to the question of Multiple Orgasms....
Zaphyr wins hands down.
Emotions as well as dozens of other factors play a key role in how, or even if, a woman experiences orgasms in general and MO`s in particular.
I `ve been with several women who`ve started off with one or two orgasms a night and over time have turned into multi-orgasmic sex machines.
What Dr Ruth said is BS....single orgasm are not neccessarily stronger than any single MO , and a woman`s capacity to handle MO , may change over time depending on multiple factors , not the least of which is her emotional state with her partner.
Dr Cloud
Similar threads
- Poll
