The "Death" (retirement) of a Hobbyist

[EagerBeaver]

metoo4,

I did not undertake the analysis of the merits of such a civil lawsuit, or the variety of forums in which it could be brought. If you know anything about civil defense then you know that the lawsuit would have to be defended wherever it is brought, at a cost. And I never brought up the criminal ramifications because all the Fred Zed or the Mods will care about is when MERB gets punched in the wallet with defense costs, which won't happen on the criminal side. The punch comes from the costs of defense of a civil lawsuit regardless of merits and regardless of where brought. In cases like this you always have a choice of forum, if you didn't there would not be a doctrine known as forum non conveniens.

The bottom line is that if a good tort lawyer, a king of torts, has 5 choices of forum guess which one he files suit in? The one where he recovers the most money!!!!!!! Bingo!!!! This is major rocket science? That would be California under my hypothetical, not Quebec. Regardless of the merits MERB has to defend in California and that means hiring California counsel to file the motions to dismiss, forum non conveniens motions etc. You think the boys out in California do that stuff for free my friend? Guess again! I know a few California attorneys who do this stuff and they definitely don't work for free. You go there because of the value of the judgment, you then worry about docketing and registering that foreign judgment and collecting on it later. If your defendant is not judgment proof no problema, and no problema if defendant is also doing business in the USA or service is used in USA. You may even get insurance on the hook if you plead that complaint right with a negligence count.

I think I am probably giving away way too many professional trade secrets here.

Again, the law school lecture is beyond the scope of this thread. Nobody seemed to understand my very basic point, which is that MERB should not tolerate threads in which the Board is used as a personal psychiatric couch. This Board is for the exchange of information on escorts, not for psychotherapy on the purely personal issues of one poster.

 

[metoo4]

EB, the lawsuit can be filed as much as they want in the USA, it have no value in Canada. I sell on EBay and I would really like to see somebody in California trying to sue me from there, money being an object or not. I would just tell him to go play with their toys or to come and sue me here.

The board can't be held responsible against foreign laws, plain and simple. If these lawsuit would be possible, it would be impossible to do any kind of business anywhere since it would always contradict some laws somewhere. The board can't be presumed knowing Californian laws, same as it can't be presumed knowing North Coreean laws.

If what you say would be true, there's a lot of Muslim countries who will soon sue Playboy for depraving their population, all this from their countries, according to their laws... Cut both ways!

And about the board becoming a psychiatric couch: just don't read the post you're not interested in! I don't read US politics threads nor than sport threads, do same with psychiatric ones!

 

[John_Cage]

I am very interested in law and I would be very glad to hear Eagerbeaver's explaination on how to determine which lex loci to apply in which case.

In most Canada/US case, it's easier (relatively) because the same Spirit of the Law apply (in most cases); In Muslim countries, the laws are WAY too different. How are the laws enforced then? Let's use metoo4's example of Playboy's website. If a country were to sue Playboy (via some international UN court or something), how would that come about? Or is this kind of Conflict of Law only resolved when the two country involved are friendly (to each other)? Also, won't there be a BIG problem with proving mens rea? How can the proper intent be formed when the accused have no idea that what he's doing is wrong (Yes, intent to commit the actus reus can be proven, but that intent will not be malicious because as far as the accused is concerned, his acts are innocent and well within the Letter of his/her country's law).

 

[EagerBeaver]

metoo4,

It happens every day that a company doing business in one jurisdiction is sued in another. You put your product in the stream of commerce, it is going to happen, and when it happens you can anticipate suit in another forum. In the products liability context it happens all the time. Welcome to 2007.

The US Supreme Court has already opined on this issue a long time ago, and what they basically said is that if you put your products in the stream of commerce you can expect to get sued whereever it goes and the courts of that state have jurisdiction. If your business is completely confined to Quebec then that rule of law would not apply. Are you telling us someone can't access, read and post on MERB in California? Wrong dude!!!!!!!! Your legal analysis is totally incorrect.

I really should not have to be giving lectures on very well established US Supreme Court decisions that have been law for a long time. Distinguish two concepts:

(1) where a suit can legally be brought (jurisdiction); and
(2) where the judgment can be collected.

 

[EagerBeaver]

metoo4,

International Shoe Co. v. Washington, 326 US 310 (1945). I suggest you read that decision. That's what gets MERB sued in California under my hypothetical. California courts would have jurisdiction.

The law school seminar is over. Go and do your homework!

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

While I feel bad about your situation, the vast majority of us don't have the same issues and we are growing sick and tired of being bombarded and inundated with cries for help. Please take those cries someplace where they can be heard and acted upon professionally, which is not here.

Very wisely spoken, Beav. I couldn't agree with you more.

 

[General Gonad]

Lose the false sense of pride and seek professional help. Right now the Board is being ruined by a small cadre of posters who are using the Boards to work out personal issues instead of doing that in the appropriate forum which is with a professional. This Board is for the exchange of information about the hobby, and should not be used as a forum for personal issues and agendas in regards to one's own personal problems.

While I feel bad about your situation, the vast majority of us don't have the same issues and we are growing sick and tired of being bombarded and inundated with cries for help. Please take those cries someplace where they can be heard and acted upon professionally, which is not here.

EB,

I couldn't disagree more with this completely self-serving reply of yours. So it annoys some of you, including Reggie, that we discuss some of the darker aspects of hobbying? Tough luck. I think if all we discussed was how great this hobby is we would all be full of shit. It's time we discuss all aspects of hobbying, not just the stupid acronyms.

GG

 

[z/m(Ret)]

I couldn't disagree more with this completely self-serving reply of yours. So it annoys some of you, including Reggie, that we discuss some of the darker aspects of hobbying? Tough luck. I think if all we discussed was how great this hobby is we would all be full of shit. It's time we discuss all aspects of hobbying, not just the stupid acronyms.

As far as I'm concerned, I have no problem with discussions over the "darker aspects of hobbying" as long as the discussion doesn't turn into the psychoanalysis of the thread starter, like it's often the case.

 

[General Gonad]

Finally an old fellow at the back held up his hand and said:

"I know why we are all here.... it's because we aren't all there!"

LOL, that's a good one!

GG

 

[Techman]

Dee, now you're quoting Bowser and Blue? They're my favorite troubadours!

 

[Jim2005]

Where to begin...

I'm posting this as kind of a resolution to myself. To no longer visit MPs or SPs. I have been trying to quit the hobby for some time now, and like an addiction, I've always found an excuse to go for one more visit, to try to find that gem out there, or to top my last experience.

The reality is, I will never find it. I've come to realise that this hobby can become an addiction. One that, like drinking or drugs, can be very hard to quit. Even more so in some respects because it can be considered a "harmless" addiction. Sure there are some health concerns, but by and large, the activities of a hobbyist are between two consenting adults and don't bother anyone.

lord,

Consider the words of Abraham Lincoln:

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."

Or those of Oscar Wilde:

"Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future."

Consider doing some hard soul-searching. Advice? Go "cold turkey" on this hobby. For now. Turn off the computer and find out which people really matter to you in your life. Parents, siblings, friends, colleagues. Call them, have dinner with them, and start to make profound changes in your life.

Rather than spending more money on this hobby, take out your checkbook and make a relatively small gift or two to a worthy cause. When you get the acknowledgment letter in the mail from the recipient, how does that make you feel? Better connected with the world, I'd hope. Community service is a WONDERFUL way to build and maintain self-esteem. Be brave and try it. Plus you meet people with similar interests in the process. Maybe not a HDH gal with an El Bueno Samaritano (EBS) rating of 8.25 or better (tongue in cheek), but you might meet a nice lady who becomes a close platonic friend or more. Join a sports league. Go to the gym. Take a yoga class and be surrounded by a dozen women or more. Try to laugh at the world like Oliver does with his wry sense of humor on these boards. If you're alone and looking for some romance in your life, the possibilities are staggering nowadays. For a guy over 40, let's say, there are often women more than willing to set you up with girlfriends, or a friend of a friend, if you merely ask if the lady knows of anyone that might like a guy like you.

I don't post that often on this board and I indulge in the hobby here and there. One of the challenges of this endeavour is maintaining an emotional "even keel" and exercising control over your wallet. One benefit of this hobby can be improving one's social skills and being less shy with women in real life. But it does cost plenty of money to hobby. Try to find that fine line where you can walk that tightrope without feeling like you're going to fall. It's a contact sport, so to speak, and there are many lessons learned along the way. If I were married or dating someone, I couldn't go the pay for play route. Those are my morals. As a divorced guy who is not keen on remarriage, this hobby works for me when I can meet personable, attractive women with good mutual chemistry. I got less and less satisfaction from the massage parlor/incall scene so I junked that altogether and have saved thousands of dollars in the process. That money can go towards other pursuits. Before I forget, there's a great quote by George Clooney about why he doesn't want to remarry: "Been there, done that, don't want to do it again." I know exactly what he means!

Cheers,
Jim

"You are the CEO of your own life." Harry Grove, former CEO of Intel Corp.

 

[General Gonad]

I don't post that often on this board and I indulge in the hobby here and there. One of the challenges of this endeavour is maintaining an emotional "even keel" and exercising control over your wallet.

Great post Jim. The fact remains that this is a ridiculously expensive hobby compared to going to the gym or a spa or whatever. If I knew back then what I know now, I wouldn't have spent half as much as I did. Oh well, we learn from our mistakes. At least I hope we do.

GG

 

[Big Daddy Cool]

As far as I'm concerned, I have no problem with discussions over the "darker aspects of hobbying" as long as the discussion doesn't turn into the psychoanalysis of the thread starter, like it's often the case.

These words ring so true. The problem with giving advice is that as amiture psychologisests we tend to project our own biases and problems rather than truely helping the person while making misjudgements on the person we are trying to help. The best we can do is share how we deal with the issue and than the person we are trying to help will eaither try it themselves or will not. That's the best we can do on a board like this.

In reality it's better to ask a lot of questions as the patient will ultimitly answer and find a solution within themselves.

 

[lord]

My Response to the feedback

First off, thanks to all the posters on this topic. To set things straight, the title of the thread was just a figure of speech, and I did not intend to mislead people into thinking I was suicidal - not even close. I just wanted to post this topic and see what people had to say about it. I was curious to know if others thought this hobby was addictive as well.

I am not looking for answers on this board, although the feedback makes for great discussion, and that's what it's all about.

I'd like to respond to some of the replies, most notably, the ones that stated "if this hobby is causing you harm, or is not fun anymore, than you should stop". The problem is that, it IS fun. The chase (or search for the next good time) is half the fun, and the excitement of seeing a new MP/SP for the first time really gets the adrenaline going. I just feel guilty afterwards - even if nobody finds out that I participate in this hobby, I don't think it's something I should be doing. The reason it's hard to quit, is because it's so much fun to feel that initial rush and anticipation of the visit.

Sigh, it's not always so easy to do the right thing - epsecially when the wrong thing feels so good. I know I'm sounding a bit contradictory here, but that's another part of the problem - some days I just feel like it's no big deal, and other days it feels so "dirty".

For those who don't think this hobby is addictive - I invite you to try to resist the next time you are about to call your favorite MP/SP, and see if you can. I don't even frequent them often....sometimes I go months without seeing one, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it in the meantime.

Some other good advise was as long as you keep busy, you'll easily pass the time without missing the scene. I think this is true too. What's that quote, "Idle hands are the devil's tools".

Jim2005 - I liked the quotes - thanks bud.

 

[metoo4]

For those who don't think this hobby is addictive - I invite you to try to resist the next time you are about to call your favorite MP/SP, and see if you can.

Been there, did that. Often. It's called self control, will.

 

[Jim2005]

One reason why I hobby is that I simply don't have the "fire in the belly" to pursue real-life romance and all it entails, potentially good and bad. That might change downstream but I'm basically from the George Clooney school regarding remarriage ("been there, done that, don't want to do it again"). Or as Clint Eastwood aptly said in the movie "Dirty Harry", "Every man has got to know his limitations..."

I've seen too many guys get married within a couple years of their first divorce and fairly quickly end up with divorce #2. One ultra Type A guy (extrovert) I know was on marriage #4 before age 40. Number 4 was his lucky charm, after a super-expensive and messy divorce #3, and marriage #4 ended up very well for him and his bride and their respective kids. So I'm glad that he found a great match at the end of the day.

One of the aspects of this hobby that makes us guys vulnerable to addiction is the tremendous ease in cutting to the chase. Getting instant sex of a robust nature with relatively little effort involved. How many real-life girlfriends or wives volunteer the doggie postion? Surprisingly few, I'd bet. Some women are extremely shy when it comes to multiple positions and they're loathe to stray from their comfort zones. In a FKK club (Germany) or an Amsterdam RLD or a mainstream Montreal outcall girl, scalding-hot doggie is readily on tap and can be enthusiastically given by various women. I remember chatting with a couple of American guys in the Amsterdam RLD and they told me that while they loved their wives, they were disappointed, if not saddened, in their marital sex lives from a quantity aspect particularly. These were guys in their 30s. Being in the RLD with its share of stunners was like being a kid in a candy store, as one of them put it. You could turn the corner, spot a bikini-clad windowgirl that passed the erection test with flying colors, and then be engaged in coitus interruptus with her within 5 minutes or so.

One experience I'll never forget in my dating life was going out with a gal who was a goddess as far as face and body. Easily 9.8+/10 for both face AND all-natural body, with no exaggeration. And a really good person to boot. I'll call her "Ann" here. Some guys would drop to their knees and propose marriage upon first sight. And that was even in public. This gal had her share of female enemies among her co-workers, I learned. Jealous women who wished they had a mere fraction of the male attention that Ann commanded. So she didn't have any close female friends apart from relatives. The guys that she had rejected romantically had great difficulty coming to grips with the fact that it was over. And a couple of those guys weren't the least bit happy that I had started dating her. They wouldn't look me in the eye or even acknowledge my presence. Women with that uniquely rare physical beauty are going to be avidly pursued by many dozens of men. That's real life. What the worldwide pay-for-play scenes does allow us guys is the ability to largely pick and choose women that might be completely inaccessible in real life, such as gals in their early 20s not wanting to date men sometimes twice their age (or more). As Roger Daltrey of The Who once said, to paraphrase him, he couldn't get enough of that "Y-bone steak." So yes, this is a fun hobby but it often requires tremendous self-discipline when it comes to money management.

Cheers,
Jim

 

[z/m(Ret)]

(...)Getting instant sex of a robust nature with relatively little effort involved. How many real-life girlfriends or wives volunteer the doggie postion? (...)

With this statement, do you mean to invalidate all the pseudo-scholar analysis of the man's psyche that are being published on this discussion board only to reduce our motivations to resort to escorts to this truism: we like a good fuck and we want it now?

 

[metoo4]

... we like a good fuck and we want it now?

Ziggy, even this statement is open to debate: you can get a good fuck from a lot of women, without much preliminaries or money involved. Only with this route, our "standard" would need to be more flexible...

It is normal, not all ladies are model-material, incerdible in bed and great intellectual companion. A woman can be butt-ugly and be an amazing fuck. She could be a nutcase model-material and still be a good fuck or, she can be a butt-ugly nutcase, and still remain a good fuck!

It all depends what we want at the time: down-and-dirty sex with a looker who can barely discuss weather or, a human contact where there's some communication possible on top of great sex. Or we might want to "dip our stick" no matter with who, as long as she have suitable holes and some paper bags!

The SP scene allow us to be more selective in the "want it now" part. Plus, with review boards like here, the "model-material" and "paper bag" extremes can be spotted and either avoided or selected, depending on our preference, so as any other possibilities in between, including variations on "nutcase" and "intellectual pleasure" are all available.

Myself, I think I found what I was looking for in one lady: she's beautiful, intelligent, funny, honest, got a goal in life and is sooo sexy, she makes me happy every time I meet her! And one important part, one reason IMHO why engaged guys see SP instead of having mistress: no strings attached and no expectations, only good sex, good conversation and possibly good friendship!

 

[gamelessdork]

I'm blessed by having a relatively low sex drive, so I'm not at all addicted to this, though I do do it a couple times per year. The different likely is that this is my only way of getting sex. I'm so used to not getting any that I'm not particularly excited when I can legally do this. Just so used to it, so I actually have to drink a bit to get myself to even want to call them up... Though I am going on a trip to Germany pretty much for this purpose, I will only spend a little bit of my time doing that, and then do touristy stuff and bring back tons of food with me... I just don't know the next time I'll ever have sex, so might as well make the best with the opportunity presented.

 

[EagerBeaver]

hobbying has caused me to get lazy socially & i just don't feel like putting in the effort anymore in picking up someone when i go out

It sounds like you have it backwards - you started hobbying due to laziness socially. Always place the egg before the chicken and the horse before the cart, not the other way around!