The line between a Positive Hobby and an Addiction

[deschjr]

It never ceases to amaze me how someone can come into a civilized and mature discussion such as this one and interject with a negative and uncalled for insult.
Why not respect one man's opinion and just say that you do not fully agree instead of calling someone an "ignorant fool". I have seen until only thoughful opinions and insights expressed in this thread and then I see a comment such as yours and I think who extactly is ignorant here, the person that speaks eloquently about some of his thoughts and feelings or the person that judges with simple snd uninspired retort.

 

[General Gonad]

I have come to believe(and I would not say this if he had not made his private life so public) that GG is indeed searching for affection, perhaps because he is lacking it at home.

Bryson,

Are you talking out of your arse again? I got lots of love from my wife, and trust me, most men would be jealous of me if you knew how much she loved me. Yes, the sex is sporadic but the love I never doubted for a second.

As far as addictive traits, mine are solely with SPs, not drinking, drugs, or gambling, just SPs. But I now realize that hobbying is grossly overrated. We review ladies, reducing them to a pack of stupid acronyms, and we glamorize our encounters. Big frigging deal? Are we better men because we pay for SPs? Hell no!!! Are we terrible guys? Hell no!! But let's not pat ourselves on the back for doing this either.

An SP who I was once fond of - and still am - once remarked in a lunch, "you got to be a little screwed up for doing this". She was so right. The same goes for clients. The very fact that you are ascribing a market value on sexual acts between two strangers is disturbing. That is what I meant when I wrote only fools fail to see this. We the clients want sex and in return the SPs want money. If you think this isn't screwed up by its very nature, then you're in denial.

As for moderation, I will repeat, everybody goes off the bandwagon at some point in this hobby. Those that think they're invincible and can "control" themselves are most at risk. At some point, they too will hit bottom, make a U-turn and never look back. I am sorry if you see this as GG "projecting", but when that day comes, you'll remember what I wrote here.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

I'll count down the days until I hit bottom, too.

I hope you never have to hit bottom in this hobby, but given your cockiness, I'd say you're a prime candidate.

GG

 

[skywalker]

GG,

Consider the followings
1. A drug addict
2. A Sport Junkie
3. A Greedy CEO/CFO
4. A Womanizer
5. A stock broker

An SP Junkie is not so bad.

Like all addictions, it will wear off one day.

Find another addiction; Pick up a hobby; Go to star trek convension ...

If you love your wife, go to couple therapy. It will need a lot of work.

Take a break! You will be wiser when you are ready again.

 

[General Gonad]

Find another addiction; Pick up a hobby; Go to star trek convension ...

If you love your wife, go to couple therapy. It will need a lot of work.

Take a break! You will be wiser when you are ready again.

skywalker,

You're a wise man but my other addiction will be more benign (get back to reading and exercise). The problem with a lot of people here, including me, is that this became our primary hobby. In fact, many members have no other hobby. Time to review some others. If I remember correctly, there are still lots of babes in the gym to gawk at!

GG

 

[dirtierasigetolder]

skywalker,

The problem with a lot of people here, including me, is that this became our primary hobby.

GG

Most of us have a secondary hobby of picking on you. We actually have a pool to see who can make you lose it first. My bet is on metoo. Since I joined this secondary hobby/pool my spending on SP's is down 60%. Not only is it fun to try and guess D-Day for you but it's economical

 

[metoo4]

I I didn't know that! I want 50% of profits!

But I don't want him to loose it!

 

[asimplepicture]

Undeniable this board is an awesome, immense resource for information on many levels. In reading this thread, these posts and hundreds, perhaps thousands of others throughout all the categories, I have to wonder, is the board more of an addiction then the SP’s or the hobby itself?

I originally tried to keep my contributions tailored to plainly being helpful, accurate and honest, while not being specific to any given category. I almost never write reviews and tried never get too graphic when I did, but admittedly I have at times. I think the information imparted on behalf of the ladies has reached a point of clarity, in simply mentioning PSE, GFE or YMMV. At times I wonder about the zeal and bravado associated with the carnage of flesh. I am embarrassed, at times with myself, for the times I was classless, perhaps in denial with my own afflictions.

My point, I believe having the ability to relive the fantasy in written expression is the enabling device for perpetuating the suggestion of an addiction. I believe having one’s expression, immensely personal and graphic at times, read by mongers and members alike is often the driving force for the next fix. Of course some will argue that it’s all about providing information for a smart purchase, getting the most bang for the buck, as if the information or the money guarantees any equitable performance for anyone, by anyone. Look at the numbers specific to the escort categories, they are astounding! Curiously, how many times do we need to read an identical review on the same individual. Is this not some fixation to participate?

I even remember a suggestion of a Merb pin.

Even though there was a recent graph displaying the results based on who mentions their association with Merb when contacting an agency (89% that do not), I feel the results were not entirely accurate. I think similar numbers would have been case, in the presence of the visiting SP. This need for belonging, perhaps empowerment is also a tentacle in the quest for fulfillment and I feel many more play this card then the graph alluded to. So what's the reason, please don't suggest it’s about a twenty-dollar discount.

Because of the nature of this hobby, the true sense of gratification and satisfaction is never truly realized. The duration of enrichment is as diverse as the individual and seems it cannot always be validated simply by memory,……. on to the next conquest, the next fix, write a review......and so it goes.

I am sure that in many cases the event itself is secondary to the need to write the review.

 

[General Gonad]

I am sure that in many cases the event itself is secondary to the need to write the review.

You figured it out. I must admit that sometimes, writing the review, is funner than the actual session.

GG

P.S. dirtierasigetolder, pin the tail on GG is a fun pastime here!

 

[John Legend]

GG you came up with a good thread this time. I have posted many times about my addiction to sex. I am so far in debt, strictly because of my sex addiction, that I will never be able to dig out unless I hit the lottery. Some highlites or lowlites:

1) Went to therapy once and ended up fucking one of the female sex addicts.
2) Have borrowed money from brother to pay mortgage (twice) due to weekends in Montreal.
3) Lie repeatidly to my kids as to why I am away for "work" all the time.
4) Wife dumped me due to this addiction.
5) Work 3 jobs to pay the bills and still have a hard time making ends meet. All my friends think I am rich because I am always working and seldom have time to spend with them.
6)Go to local strip clubs in my area eveytime I get a pay check.
7) Have the phone numbers for over 50 strippers and have fucked everone of them.
8) Totally incapable of having a relationship because I crave sex with different women all the time.
9) I only have 2 real good friends that know anything about my life, and I know thousands of people. So I am living a secret life.

The sad thing is I am a pretty good talker and I am able to get laid a lot from ordinary girls. I can go out pick up a girl at a bar take her home and fuck the shit out of her, but it never seems to be enough. I also have gotten many, many freebies from strippers and also a few escorts. Again, still not good enough. I am similar to my friend Oliver where I am so scared to commit to a relationship, knowing I will have to end this part of my life. I know I should, and like you said GG the end will come soon (maybe) but I am not sure where all this will end. To sum this up though, right now I am a mid 40's man, average looks, average smarts, average income level, debt up the ass, but I have fucked hundreds, maybe even thousand of women in both the States and Canada. Some of the best advice I ever recevied came last year when one of my favorite Montreal stippers told me I come off online as very arrogant, never leave Cleo's without takeout etc. This really woke me up, because I am not arrogant at all. I realize that like an alcoholic, my personality changes when I am around strippers and escorts. She woke me up. I left the club after that and didn't go back for a few months. I was doing fine saving money etc then one of my buddies had a bacholer party and wouldn't you know I went, and ended up fucking both the strippers after the party was over in a 3 some. Cost me 500 bucks. Now I am right back where I was before and maybe even worse.

 

[General Gonad]

To sum this up though, right now I am a mid 40's man, average looks, average smarts, average income level, debt up the ass, but I have fucked hundreds, maybe even thousand of women in both the States and Canada. Some of the best advice I ever recevied came last year when one of my favorite Montreal stippers told me I come off online as very arrogant, never leave Cleo's without takeout etc. This really woke me up, because I am not arrogant at all. I realize that like an alcoholic, my personality changes when I am around strippers and escorts. She woke me up. I left the club after that and didn't go back for a few months. I was doing fine saving money etc then one of my buddies had a bacholer party and wouldn't you know I went, and ended up fucking both the strippers after the party was over in a 3 some. Cost me 500 bucks. Now I am right back where I was before and maybe even worse.

Buddy, I feel for you, I honestly do. You're out of control, driving 300 km/hour and about to hit a wall with no seatbelt. YOU MUST TAKE BACK CONTROL Take it day by day. That is what I do now. I have weak moments but I am more relaxed now, more clear-headed, more zen...

In the end, you have nothing to prove by doing this. Every time you get the urge, just tell yourself no, I will be better if I refrain. If you consistently do this, you'll gain control. But do it, don't just say it. Believe in yourself.

God bless,

GG

 

[dirtierasigetolder]

Buddy, I feel for you, I honestly do. You're out of control, driving 300 km/hour and about to hit a wall with no seatbelt. YOU MUST TAKE BACK CONTROL Take it day by day. That is what I do now. I have weak moments but I am more relaxed now, more clear-headed, more zen...

In the end, you have nothing to prove by doing this. Every time you get the urge, just tell yourself no, I will be better if I refrain. If you consistently do this, you'll gain control. But do it, don't just say it. Believe in yourself.

God bless,

GG

Anybody else think: The blind leading the blind? You two are like a cold shower, you let the rest of us newbies know what can happen if we don't keep the hobby in check. John Legend, your story is moving. It's incredible how something that starts off as a once in a blue moon can consume your life.

Any advice for us new guys that are just starting? Do you regret the road traveled?

Good luck

 

[Romantic1]

There's no need to project your experience on others. Many can drink wine in moderation, but for the alcoholic abstinence is the only option. Similarly many can "hobby" in moderation, while others aren't. For those who can keep "perspective" to use your word, there is no brick wall.

Only an ignorant fool would take one man's experience and project it onto others.

I'm sorry to say this is totally the case. Gonad it's probably an indication of your narcissism that you project your experience on to everyone else. And I say that gently, as I have sympathy for your predicament.

I've hobbied hard like you, but unlike you, I make friends with the girls, have dated some of them, and kept everything in perspective. Within the job, there are very tight realities. Outside of it, there is "life" and infinite possibilities. You just have to know the difference.

I think when you stop trying to get out of an encounter what cannot be gotten, you'll find moderation. You have to get it out of "life" in whatever form that might take.

Hobbying can be a black hole in every respect. But it can also be wholly liberating if you approach it in the right way.