The share of Americans not having sex has reached a record high

[GaryH]

"The share of U.S. adults reporting no sex in the past year reached an all-time high in 2018, underscoring a three-decade trend line marked by an aging population and higher numbers of unattached people.

But among the 23 percent of adults — or nearly 1 in 4 — who spent the year in a celibate state, a much larger than expected number of them were 20-something men, according to the latest data from the General Social Survey."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/busi...s-reached-record-high/?utm_term=.29f9aa3900e8

I am surprised that the age group 18 -29 is having less sex than the older generation. I would think these would be the prime years. I am also surprised that more females in that bracket are having sex than the males. Those darn male millennials need to stop playing video games and get some real exercise like back in the olden days.

Mmmm. Maybe they need a road trip to Montreal to see what they are missing.

 

[sambuca]

Patron, I would be interested in seeing that thread.

I am guessing a basic theme is young men don't have the same opportunities as they did fifty years ago. Less high-paying blue collar jobs, more women pushing them out of college spots. There was a book several years ago that detailed how successful women were being squeezed out of the mating pyramid. Since women tend to desire to mate up or at least at the same socioeconomic status, there are less and less available men the higher up the socioeconomic pyramid. It sounds like that's happening much earlier now.

By the way, isn't that one of the themes of Fight Club?

GaryH, you're saying 18-29 females have more sex than 18-29 males? Some men are obviously having multiple partners while some not at all. I've seen this phenomenon where young women are having relationship sex with noncommittal, polygamous men. These men don't have to offer a traditional relationship to attract women to a relationship.

Patron, as far as young men purchasing sex, that can a good thing and a bad thing. I think it can socialize young men sort of speak and make them less aggressive. However, I wonder if some men never develop their social skills and pay for play becomes a crutch.

 

[sambuca]

I din’t think that Sambuca doesn’t go as far into the trap as GaryH does, but he goes a little ways into it with the mention of social skills. I simply don’t think you can take a 1970s - 1990s model and apply it here.

Patron, can you elaborate? I'm not sure I follow. Thanks.

Yes, you have younger girls finding ways to hook-up with older guys whether it's being "monetized" or not. I also now see young women at various ages who are in one-sided polygamous relationships because it's better to be with a noncommittal male who offers prestige than to settle for a less prestigious male who will commit. Think of him as the guy you can fuck and take to a wedding. I think you understand.

The hot girl for every guy thing was always an impossibility. I think societal norms that pushed men and women into traditional monogamous relationships were actually a good thing for men as a group. I believe that's what both sociologists and Judeo-Christian philosophy believe. Otherwise, you have the harem/concubine effect. Strangely, this "game of musical chairs" as Patron noted is a very subtle harem effect. There was a guy here on a similar thread who didn't think it was a problem because he thought societies were very adaptable. I'm not so sure.

I believe the multitudes of young women not currently interested in pursuing relationships with young men will be scrambling in a few decades. You can see it right now in any bar where cougars congregate. Finally settling for less attractive and less successful men, lots of plastic surgery and of course cubs. Only the most attractive and financially independent cougar women will be able to maintain a relationship with a cub. The long-term stability of a cub relationship is highly suspect.

The musical chairs start to really squeeze for women in their 40s. Attractive men their age can easily dip into the 20s/30s pool of women. Older men who are available start to disappear by the longevity imbalance between men and women.

 

[sambuca]

Patron, very interesting discussion. People know that I am verbose, but I do try to make a point.

You commented "There is a belief that something is wrong with young, sexless men, who are instructed to go improve themselves in order to be considered more acceptable by attractive young women." I might agree that that there is not something "wrong" with young, sexless men. I'm not saying all young guys who have problems finding women are losers.

I would say however, they are in a mating game whether they know it or not. I recently said the sexual pecking order starts in junior high and intensifies in college and beyond. It's just the natural order.

We also live in a two gender world where you most likely deal with women at work. I do think learning to relate to women vastly improves a young man's social skills. Getting up off your bar stool and leaving your bar buddies to go talk to women because your dick is raging is both a biological need and social ritual. Personally, dealing with women in long-term relationships made me more patient, flexible and better at negotiation with men and women.

I believe Freud attributed everything to sex. It's what makes men get up and conquer the world. If we have offspring, we want our children to conquer the world. Instinctively, we know smarter and better looking offspring are more likely to conquer the world. Even are dick subconsciously thinks that even if we put a hood over him.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

My son and his friends tend to have females around with no shortage. They stay away from the clubs, where the people they do not want to meet hang out. Pool halls, the small town car races, weekend camping, places where you be yourself.

 

[bruno2000]

average testosterone levels are on the decline for young men so that's not surprise
the internet and instant access to free porn obviously doesn't help

Ever wondered why porn is freely available on the internet... ? I won't elaborate as I will get banned from here

 

[JackFranz]

Asian and FOB here, so most of my Asian friends back home had very little experience with girls until maybe 18-20, before that age you are supposed to study study and study until you get into the best collage possible, thats why every single one of them wears glasses and is out of shape. Back home a guy with zero social skills and being extremely shy around woman won't be viewed as a loser, however, if you have no decent job, no car, no houses/apartment in your late 20s, no average looking woman will even want to go out with you.

Then we came to Canada, and we did find Canadian girls very attractive. For me and my friends we are just too lazy to improve our social skills, work out or even try to talk to girls, hence some of us are in this hobby.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Ever wondered why porn is freely available on the internet... ? I won't elaborate as I will get banned from here

Now why would you get banned?

 

[bruno2000]

Now why would you get banned?

it's simply a rabbit hole that goes very deep and isn't politically correct

 

[sambuca]

This is a complex social phenomenon that doesn't lend itself easily to generalizations and anecdotes. I agree with almost everything said here. Remember using Patron's "musical chairs" analogy, a small shift in the power relationship between young men and young women can have a major impact on the culture. Think of it as how does the average looking, average successful young male relates to the average looking, average successful young female.

Anecdote warning: When I was 25, I had above average looks and above average success and I would meet women in bars with similar profiles who were uninterested. WTF are you waiting for to come? That's always been the case. Years later now, remove a few chairs in this game and "some" young men are fucked (or NOT as is the case here).

I think there are a lot of thoughts being batted around. I clearly think young men's communication skills are important. I jotted down some of the comments because many of them touched on the communication theme.

Sam21 wrote that you need to "have an outgoing personality."
That One Guy said "make them laugh."
JackFranz said in regards to Asian men "we are just too lazy to improve our social skills."

 

[bruno2000]

Sambuca,

I was like you, blessed with above average looks, an athletes body without an ounce of fat.
There were 4 young women that were considered the most gorgeous in our community, I married two of them and after all these years now the third one wants to go out with me ( she is one of the few women in my age group who I still consider attractive).
For now I kind of prefer SP.

So why would you see SPs at all and pay for sex...?

 

[bruno2000]

oh I see. Somehow I thought you were in you 30s or something

 

[sambuca]

Sambuca, I am a tad skeptical as to the causation - correlation between success in business and success in obtaining non-commercially purchased sex.

I think we would agree communication skills are important in our careers. Even in STEM careers, better communicators are generally more successful. Not every weak communicator STEM guy has a few million dollars in stock options or a share of a future IPO. As I have pointed out and perhaps you agree, women are attracted to men who can communicate all things being equal. Every statement above is on average as I am sure there are anecdotes that run counter to them.

Where we seem to disagree is on the notion a young man can make an effort to improve his social/communication skills. I think he can. Again, we're talking about "some" guys at the mean not the young men in the bottom 30-40 percentile of desirability. A little more effort, a young male will improve himself for both women and his career. Communicating with women is fucking hard work. Hard work is your correlation/causation. The ages 16-25 are the prime years for young men to develop their social skills. College fraternities and other social clubs are essentially designed with that purpose in mind.

Young women are innately better communicators than young men. And if they are not or if they are a pain in the ass, they have a vagina. Noone said it was a fair game.

Separately, I would say that American universities overvaluing non-STEM degrees has hurt young males vis-a-vis their female counterparts. I'll leave it that because we have discussed this topic in other threads.

 

[sambuca]

oh I see. Somehow I thought you were in you 30s or something

Men in their 30s don't necessarily pay for sex because they can't attract women. It's just so much easier with a lot less headaches. Last year, there was a young, local man on MERB that fucked his way through the list of top MTL escorts. Allegedly, he was a good-looking, successful guy who experienced a hurtful break-up with his girlfriend.

Remember when Chandler on Friends had a bad break-up and they take him to a strip club to help him forget. I would say a Montreal escort would be a lot better therapy.

 

[bruno2000]

Men in their 30s don't necessarily pay for sex because they can't attract women

I disagree here. Unless you're rich, why would you pay $2000 for a SP to sleepover at your place when you can get a girl on Tinder to do it for free ?
There's a ton of gorgeous women in this city, with sex drives just like us men, looking to get laid

 

[sambuca]

I also gave a real life example of a young man who seemed to have his shit together with women who was quite active with escorts for several months on these very pages.

 

[bruno2000]

I also gave a real life example of a young man who seemed to have his shit together with women who was quite active with escorts for several months on these very pages.

Yeah I think I remember him. Some young dude in his 20s spending daddy's money on escorts. If I was rich I would probably do the same

 

[jalimon]

So back to the original question. Why are young american not having sex!! They miss out so much cannot believe it.

I mean not having sex once married I would understand as I have lived it. It's married men after all who invented golf, fishing and Monday night football.

Who will dance in strip club or fill the agency line up if all younger generation is so pure..??

Cheers,

 

[jalimon]

It's funny, older guys seem to think that tinder is an all you can fuck buffet for most young guys, in reality only the top tier men have access to this exclusive buffet.

Ya... Us old guys in our days we used to wait for the bar to close at 3am to pick up the leftovers from the buffet.... Obviously with all lobsters and filet mignon taken before midnight...

There is no such thing on Tinder?

Cheers,

 

[sambuca]

Yeah I think I remember him. Some young dude in his 20s spending daddy's money on escorts. If I was rich I would probably do the same

:doh: :doh: :doh: