Why do relationships/marriage turn sour?

[Markishere]

Here are my thoughts

When it comes to love between man and woman, the key to the relationship is in the man's hands. It is the man who knows what he wants. (Not confuse/lost men, grown men)

A man can date 300 girls at once, but his heart belongs to just one. It may amaze you that just that one girl doesn't have big butt, big breast, delicate face, fine skin etc. But he just loves her like his life depends on it.

No matter what you do for a man; whether you're the greatest cook on earth, or you are a sex machine who can last for five hours, or you are an industrial cleaner. Some men will still say "She is perfect but I don't know why I don't love her."

If he doesn't love you, forget it. The last time I said this, someone said I want to spoil relationships.

I have seen where a man left a virgin and married someone who wasn't a virgin.

When I asked him why? He said he didn't want to break someone's hymen, and he had no warm sentiments towards her, and marry another one.

Yes, I know what your church doctrine says.

A man will date a girl for 10 years, the girl knows how to cook and do everything, they started life together. All through his stay with this girl, she has been there through the good times, and bad times, supported his career, help him emotionally, and financially. Until he met Angelina, he becomes ready for marriage. Angelina that he has dated for just few months. Now all of the sudden, she has become his inspiration, and his motivation.

When I see people sharing tips on how to keep a man, I just laugh. Such tips don't work on a man who isn't in love or want to be kept. It works for a few men who want women who can give them such tips, and most times, there is always a problem when these tips don't occur anymore in a relationship. Also it would only work on men who solemnly want to use women until they find the one.

Let the man just love you, every other thing shall be added unto thee.

Forget it, if you like wash his clothes from January to December, if he doesn't love you, you no reach.

I have seen women who don't know how to cook, wash or even sweep floor being married to men who love them so much. The husband will employ a cook and a cleaner.

Some men love women who can cook. They go for them.

Some men believe that if their wives can't cook,they will teach them. Or they will learn and practice.

Some just want to marry women who will do the work of a cook, cleaner. In short, the work of mommy, and they go for them. Sometimes they date around for awhile and manage to see if their women can be exactly what they want, and if they turn out to be something else, they begin to search again.

People are different, so are men.

A woman's love is different from a man's love.
Most women can be taught to love, but when a men don’t, he almost never will. That’s why usually the pursuer are men. Some men may want easy, but all men value and appreciate anything they have to earn. When a men has to win over a women, and earn her, he is less likely to hurt her.

No matter how you fight to get their hearts, they go for the women who is sitting down and just looking at their faces.

Love is powerful. You don't fight for it.

If something is yours, nothing can ever take it away from you.

Don't struggle, just realize this, and relax.

Again love is good, to give it, or to receive it. Don’t be afraid to be hurt, that you don’t want to love.
Life with no love is no life at all.

 

[sorengard]

Here are my thoughts

When it comes to love between man and woman, the key to the relationship is in the man's hands. It is the man who knows what he wants. (Not confuse/lost men, grown men)

A man can date 300 girls at once, but his heart belongs to just one. It may amaze you that just that one girl doesn't have big butt, big breast, delicate face, fine skin etc. But he just loves her like his life depends on it.

No matter what you do for a man; whether you're the greatest cook on earth, or you are a sex machine who can last for five hours, or you are an industrial cleaner. Some men will still say "She is perfect but I don't know why I don't love her."

If he doesn't love you, forget it. The last time I said this, someone said I want to spoil relationships.

I have seen where a man left a virgin and married someone who wasn't a virgin.

When I asked him why? He said he didn't want to break someone's hymen, and he had no warm sentiments towards her, and marry another one.

Yes, I know what your church doctrine says.

A man will date a girl for 10 years, the girl knows how to cook and do everything, they started life together. All through his stay with this girl, she has been there through the good times, and bad times, supported his career, help him emotionally, and financially. Until he met Angelina, he becomes ready for marriage. Angelina that he has dated for just few months. Now all of the sudden, she has become his inspiration, and his motivation.

When I see people sharing tips on how to keep a man, I just laugh. Such tips don't work on a man who isn't in love or want to be kept. It works for a few men who want women who can give them such tips, and most times, there is always a problem when these tips don't occur anymore in a relationship. Also it would only work on men who solemnly want to use women until they find the one.

Let the man just love you, every other thing shall be added unto thee.

Forget it, if you like wash his clothes from January to December, if he doesn't love you, you no reach.

I have seen women who don't know how to cook, wash or even sweep floor being married to men who love them so much. The husband will employ a cook and a cleaner.

Some men love women who can cook. They go for them.

Some men believe that if their wives can't cook,they will teach them. Or they will learn and practice.

Some just want to marry women who will do the work of a cook, cleaner. In short, the work of mommy, and they go for them. Sometimes they date around for awhile and manage to see if their women can be exactly what they want, and if they turn out to be something else, they begin to search again.

People are different, so are men.

A woman's love is different from a man's love.
Most women can be taught to love, but when a men don’t, he almost never will. That’s why usually the pursuer are men. Some men may want easy, but all men value and appreciate anything they have to earn. When a men has to win over a women, and earn her, he is less likely to hurt her.

No matter how you fight to get their hearts, they go for the women who is sitting down and just looking at their faces.

Love is powerful. You don't fight for it.

If something is yours, nothing can ever take it away from you.

Don't struggle, just realize this, and relax.

Again love is good, to give it, or to receive it. Don’t be afraid to be hurt, that you don’t want to love.
Life with no love is no life at all.

You almost make me wish I was married. Almost.

At 45yo, I'm pretty much a confirmed bachelor. I regret not having kids but I know so few people who are happy after years of marriage I almost feel indifferent. Kids can be pretty awesome if nephews are a good proxy.

 

[jmioffe]

This thread is so depressing. I'm 45 and single, which used to depress me. However, the more I read here about marriage, the more I wonder if I dodged a bullet. Seems so bleak and hopeless.

I'm about the same age and have gone through similar thought processes. What I've noticed is most of my friends who are married are unhappy -- the ones who seem not to be may just hide it better than others or talk about their misery less. How many happily married friends do you have?

I used to want to be coupled (though it didn't depress me too much to be single) but not so much anymore. People get tired of one another.

I think the most successful couplings I know approach it a bit like a business partnership ... which may the only reason you'd want to be locked in with one other person. And that business partnership is usually with the goal of raising a child, and is free to end once the goal is reached.

This makes sense too. When you're selecting for a mom, you want mental stability, generosity and reliability. Unfortunately, it's rare that you get "hot" with those qualities too.

So right off the bat you accept a bit of pain in having a not-so-fuckable partner, but remember, you're in a business partnership and you've clearly defined your goal as something other than busting a nut in the hottest nookie you can possibly get.

 

[maximus.dickus]

It would be nice to have a female perspective on this topic. It’s very male oriented which is normal.

More than the opposite, women initiate divorce. This is usually proceeded by the claim, you don’t satisfy my needs anymore. Or something to that effect, with the implication that you have to change in order to satisfy me. This statement is in reality a warning that she will divorce you and no matter what you do, this will happen. There many videos and tiktoks by women making the claim that men don’t listen to their needs. Unfortunately they are being facetious and their decision to divorce has already been made. Their attitude is normal since people don’t change and they need the time to get emotionally ready for the day they will actually ask for the divorce. The timing usually happens when the kids are more or less independent and they are fed up of marriage life and want their independence.

 

[Flyingby]

Good start... tell me more!

What else do you want?
pussy gets destroyed. Tits get all flabby from the milk.
wife turns into mother.

 

[Flyingby]

It would be nice to have a female perspective on this topic. It’s very male oriented which is normal.

More than the opposite, women initiate divorce.

it is because men are too lazy. We go fuck around and don’t care. No need to divorce to fuck around. Men are happy when a woman initiates the divorce. It means we tricked her into thinking it was her idea

 

[Abathur]

the root cause is people deep down have too much of a diff view about the world, people view things diff, do things diff, have diff goats and expectations about life.

passion fades out quickly.

 

[Flyingby]

I wonder how many ppl writing in this thread have actually been in a long term relationship versus those simply giving “their opinion”

 

[bobbyc]

im a little older than you guys and the evolution of what a couple is as changed a lot since when i was younger, people have more expectations now a days,and woman even more sorry ladies but its a fact, people men and woman both have trouble being satisfied , we all seem to be searching for something that doesnt exist so when reality of life kicks in after the honeymoon a lot of people just quit, its very unfortunate but thats the way it is, no one remembers how much they were really in love with each other.

 

[Oberstdorf]

What else do you want?
pussy gets destroyed. Tits get all flabby from the milk.
wife turns into mother.

It pain me to read that. How do you think most men are? How do you think you look? All perfect with abs and perfect hair? Most men in a marriage gain weight as well, have a beer belly, stinks due to lack of care (not all, but most). Women are less hard on men when it comes to looks. Men judges everything on the women, like you said, flabby tits, post-pregnacy belly, face, strech marks. Im pretty sure no women would choose you for your physique right off the bat. Let alone your horrible personnality.

Talking about the Escorts etc. (Young and pretty, those you choose carefully after deciding if she is decently pretty for you.)
To all guys that takes escorts or go to MP to escape their scrapy marriage, and pay for services. Do you think that if they had the choice to engage physically with you for free, would they even take you?
If you were a girl/women, would you sleep with yourself? Probably most of you are self centered would say yes. What if you were a girl and had to sleep with one of your buddies, would you?

About physical changes post pregnancy. Your wife or whoever the women is for you, she gave you the opportunity to have the gift to be a dad. Yes she's going to have changes in her body but so do you. You both change physically and if you are somewhat of a decent man you'll support her with the baby that "destroyed" her body.

I am genuinely sorry for whoever women that touch you or have somewhat of a connexion with you.

 

[Stroker7]

I think we all (especially when were younger) have these expectations of what we hope to experience in life with a partner. The expectations rarely mimic what we dream they'll be once we find that special someone.

I had a tight group of friends in high school who all pledged we would be doing all these trips together as we got older. We vowed it wouldn't change no matter our circumstances later in life, marriage etc. I found out the hard way that the only person who was willing to make that work was me, lol. They all decided to go in they're own separate directions. Many married women who were very controlling and insecure and my reputation amongst they're wives certainly didn't help, lol. We all discussed our goals and dreams we wanted to experience in life and honestly a lot of those never happened. A lot have reached out over the years after ghosting me, lol. Once your out of someone's life (zero contact for 10 yrs or more) for a while, it's awkward and I wish them the best, but I'll never forget how they handled things with me towards the end. My reputation as a ladies man with they're wives is one thing but a little honesty and a quick explanation as to why I was out of the picture would have gone a long way with me rather than a complete ghosting after knowing these guys for10+ years. I expected better from them.

The majority of they're marriages didn't work out and from what I hear they're not quite happy these days. I guess I wasn't the only person disappointed about expectations later in life.

 

[Markishere]

Based on my previous 2 post here, I'm speaking based on experience, beliefs, and what I have witness myself.

About providers, I will always have profound respect for them. It's a tough job, how they look, how they act, how they perform, what they do/say, it's put under a magnifying glass. Before I leave the session, I thank the lady for their time, and I wish them a good day. To think about the pressure they go through/feel in a constant basis. I can only imagine how mentally, and physically exhausting it is. We have all been guilty of pushing providers to their limit, and/or moulding them on how we want them to be for our own satisfaction at one point or another. I think only a few woman are doing this job for the sheer thrill of it, and to fill their own satisfaction/fantasy. The momentary gain they get is just a nice extra.They either last long in the business, and/or become superstars in the business.

In general, women deserve more respect and acknowledgement than us men like to admit. They are stronger than us in many ways. All beauty men experience in life is a form of feminine energy.

We write songs about women. Flowers, art, sun, ocean remind us of women. We make cars that have curves like women. We crave their smile, laugh, touch. If we aren't getting that feminine energy from a woman. We'll try to find that soft, loving, warmth in our hobbies. If we become too masculinized while focused on work and self improvement, and we don't have a woman, we'll turn to drugs, alcohol, or porn, or something else in order to feel that soothing beauty.

And we become overly angry when we don't get that soothing energy. We need women more than they need us. It's always been that way, and that is why the adult industry is the oldest profession in the world, and mostly caters to men.

I have only felt love twice in my life. One with a provider who works in MP. It was unexpected. I think if you love a woman for her beauty, it will last for short while, but when you love a woman for her soul, it will last forever. For the 2 years and half I known her, she brought a lot of happiness, and balance in my life. She gave me more than base gratification. Her love, tenderness, rage. She is fragile, vulnerable, and strong when she needed to be. She accepted me, challenged me, moved me. She is simple, yet so complex. I never met anyone like her, and I don't think I will ever again. One day when she decides to leave the business, I hope I'm granted the privilege to keep in touch with her, know what's new with her, what's going on with her life, take her out. If not, I won't be bitter. I'm happy to have known her.

Maybe, I'm prideful but I don't give up easily, whether it's a relationship, friendship, etc. I think many people are fair-weather friend to their partner. The only way I can let go, and be done for it's if I have tired out every options available to no avail.

Lastly, it is sad that many men are quick to criticize a women after giving birth, and expect them to snap back in shape quick. Quick to point out a woman's flaws, when we ourselves aren't perfect. Worse, when then compare their woman to other women who got back in shape rather fast, and look put together after giving birth and taking care of children. Some women can achieve that purely from diet, and exercise, and some can never get their body back no matter what they do. The only way they could get it back is going under the knife. What many men fail to understand or even know is that these women who gets back in shape, and look good quickly are women who gets a lot of support, and help from their husband. When they hire helpers, they have more time to focus on themselves. As well, I have a plastic surgeon friend, and he has done thousands of cases of mommy makeover, tummy tuck, breast augmentation etc paid by the woman's husband to get their confidence back.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Kids

Wanting kids is what caused the breakup of my 3.5 year relationship with a lady who started out as a sugar baby and developed into something more. She wanted a serious committed relationship, and for me to be her Baby Daddy. It had already been a couple years when money was not changing hands between us and we had a dating relationship. I was OK with committing to her but not being a Baby Daddy. This marked a change in her previously expressed desire, which was to adopt children and not have her own. Her periods over time became virulent (which I personally witnessed while watching her suffer through them), and she claimed that the change was due to having "baby fever."

The end of the relationship was sad. I harbor no ill feelings towards her. She did what she felt was necessary in her life and ended things with me, and I did what I felt was necessary, as I am not cut out to be a father and do not want kids or the responsibility to raise them properly. I look back at the 3.5 years I spent with this woman fondly and with great satisfaction and no anger at all. I miss her, but kids broke us up, and it was probably inevitable.

I should add, things between us never turned "sour." There was never a fight over our different positions. We discussed it at her request. I told her my feelings. I am sure she was disappointed but she did not yell or scream or throw a hissy fit. She was a low drama person which is what attracted me to her in the first place. She just moved on from me. That was it.