Why do you think the USA society operates under a model, "Over sexualized, undersexed?"(Land of Make Believe)

[TheQuestion]

PS: I don't mean to offend anyone. I am only asking since you guys give insightful answers. I also don't mean this as a "rant" rather I want to understand society.

Green Day got it right when they said, "Land of Make Believe"

If you were to look at American society from the outside, anyone might assume it's a big spring break party. However, in reality, it seems to be very different.

Oversexualized: At least in the big cities I've lived in. Sex, sexuality, and what is called "Erotic capital" are ever-present. You see in the ads, in the transportation, in the subways, even your shopping bag. If buy clothes at a random store they have a woman in a bikini. Also, a lot of the apps feature-heavy sexual content. I remember opening Snapchat, as well as other American-only apps, and the first thing I saw, was two women kissing. I've also seen at restaurants they'll sometimes hire women to sit at tables to show that attractive women go to that restaurant. Let's not start with the ever-present porn industry and many guys watch porn and some even suffer from porn addiction. As. final note foreign women(French/Japanese/Korean) I asked to think that clothing in America is too revealing compared to their countries.

Undersexed: This whole over-sexualization might make the price for sex very high. When many guys want to have sex but very few do so. For instance, many people on the outside think that colleges are one big sex party. However, once you go to college you see many guys watching sports on tv drinking beer, and very few actually sex. Now with the whole #metoo movement, I saw many friends of mine not even bothered to approach women for fear of getting in trouble. I have friends in fraternities and the same situation happens its mostly a bunch of guys drinking and maybe a small group can get laid. What's sad and confusing is that people "shame" guys for not having sex(the whole incel groups.)

Conclusion: One of the main things I've seen is that having sex in America is seen as a "trophy" and one of the ultimate goals in life. Hence, acute women in another country become highly desirable in the United States. I do not know why this phenomenon happens. But I remember a bunch of YouTubers showing a Colombian woman who in Colombia only has very few followers and she came to America all of the sudden she has a huge following and guys spamming her DM's. I have also seen at strip clubs people throwing a lot of money at a dance only for taking her top off. I think that some of you guys might have good ideas of what is going on.

 

[Fradi]

The US is a totally fucked up country when it comes to sex.
They sell everything form coke to hamburgers with scantily clad models exhibiting their boobs and butts yet when it comes to actually allowing the selling of sex then all the prudes, religious fanatics and feminists band together and convince the ignorant masses that this is all related to trafficking of young girls by gangsters and low life pimps and must be stamped out.
It is almost as if the country is run by dominatrixes that are quite willing to take your money, give you shit constantly, tease you to no end but never actually fuck you other than in the pocket.
Sad part is that this is very unlikely to change in the near future.
No wonder most of you guys can’t wait for the borders to open.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Most of this traces to the United States having been settled by Puritans and assorted other religious bible thumpers who were fleeing persecution in England. This history is quite evident in not only our federal constitution which aggressively imbues the values of religious freedoms, but in archaic state statutory and common law which proved very resistant to change for well over 200 years. There are still large swaths of bible thumpers in the United States and over the years we have seen the enormous hypocrisy of these institutions from Jimmy Swaggart's legendary "I Have Sinned" speech to the more recent controversies with Oral Roberts University.

IMHO most Canadians are very ignorant of this history and the impact and influence that was brought to bear on the political institutions of the USA by the religious zealots who founded the country. So asking them for their opinion, which js mostly uneducated on the real causes if not the effect, is a bit silly.

For example the average Canadian could not tell you how this situation could have developed, much less how it was overcome later on. There are deep historical, cultural, political and religious factors that produces something like this spectacle:

 

[TheQuestion]

Sorry if you only want answers from Canadians, but the simple answer is in economics. The U.S. is a wealthy nation, a disproportionate percentage of that wealth is within the top 25 percent (don’t waste time with the 1 percent nonsense the stupid kids chant about), and an increasing portion of economic opportunities are primarily open to young women who are getting educated at a higher rate than young men.

To put it simply, if she can get as much or more by teasing you instead of fucking you, she will. The marketing machine realizes that and puts the tease into everyday life.

This isn’t unique to the United States, and many young women like it this way and benefit from it. The laws prohibiting commercial sex add to the problem, but it is primarily economic. A man with sufficient economic resources can easily purchase sex in the U.S. without encountering law enforcement issues, but many lack the financial resources to do so, and/or do not think the price is worth it.

Foreign women often do not have the wealth or opportunities to do the whole tease instead of perform routine, so they are often of greater interest to American men. So the Colombian will get a lot of followers.

And there is a lot of irrelevance in American society. The Green Day song is supposedly about a rebellious loser who is a big deal amongst his rebellious friends in high school, and goes on to have a pretty shitty life after high school. No one who matters believes in him, as he preaches in the parking lot of the 7-11. Sorry to break it to everyone, but a large percentage of American women don’t really matter to the small percentage of American men who buy sex. First of all, there is no way for them to communicate with one another with the government breaking down the advertising mechanism for commercial sex at the low-end scene. Second of all, the fast-food diet makes a lot of them unattractive, and they largely get indoctrinated with left wing nonsense no one wants to listen to, and the drug use is rampant. So the potential group of sex sellers that a Canadian observer might see from a distance isn’t as good as he would think. She is the female version of Jesus of Suburbia whose life won’t turn out all that great and who could take you down with her.

Hope that explains things. Most higher end chicks have no desire to sell sex because they don’t need to. The ones who are sexual can make enough teasing instead of fucking. The lower end chicks live in such a different world than the guys who would pay them for sex that it is a Mars Venus thing.

So for actual sex (instead of teasing) you get a small, expensive market. You don’t see this in Canada and most of the world. The slacker chick is thin and athletic, she is easy to communicate with regarding sex, and if she rollerblades to the hotel to fuck the tourist for money or to the dorm room to fuck a guy friend, she will treat him with some respect even if he doesn’t share her opinions. Same with Europe.

We deal with America as it is, and realize that it won’t change. And some of the things that are disadvantageous to guys might be preferred by some of the women. There are great providers who charge a lot and do the same thing that Canadian escorts do. You find them and repeat with them. You ignore the teasers and don’t waste money on that. And you ignore the masses that would logically be sellers of sex, because if they aren’t, they aren’t. If that is a result of a lack of communication systems, you just accept that. You use the communication systems that still exist.

Hey man, very insightful answer. If you don't mind I have a few follow up questions, you could answer briefly or write as much as you want I am American but I have also lived abroad, hence why there are certain nuances of the culture which I can't quite figure out. I am assuming you are an American expat now based in Montreal.That's the reason why you are very knowledgable.

1-Would it be fair to say America is "Hard mode" for both dating and hobbying for the average man?
Dating: Lots of flaky women and very high standards, but also relationships don't tend to last more than a few months. Hence, why many dating coaches/pua's end up moving abroad, Since these guys are looking for a relationship.
Hobbying: The only alternative is sugar dating and while good its more of a dating app.Its a mixed bag. You still need some "game" to pull it off. I managed to hook up with a few women there but it only lasted for a few weeks and it ended.
2-Are some countries/cities are better for hobbying and others for dating. But American is hard for both? Like if you want to find a long term GF go to Warsaw while want to find escorts go to Frankfurt. While Las Vegas might be the only exception a viable alternative with SD dating, it also seems like a "hit or miss." I've been there a bunch of times, I'm not that into Asian or Latinas which seem to be prevalent.
3-For a young bachelor who wants to hook up with a lot of women both pro's or no pro's would Montreal be a more better option?
4-My comment of "Make believe" was direct at certain party towns or even college towns where people want to throw parties or invite women/or escorts over and it seems that there's couples or older people who say, "We don't want that in our neighborhood." or "I don't want that around in our building. " I have been reading a bunch of threads and saw your comment that hobbying if possible in America would have to be done out the eyes of the public, could you expand on that?
5-Have you read/heard of the manosphere? While they can be misgoynist they also sometimes have interesting ideas. They talk about the "The Wall" similarly to what you describe where a woman is very attractive but later she finds it harder to find a husband.

 

[Fradi]

EB,
I think there are many of us that consider the US as our second home and have homes and relatives there and are well, aware of what goes on especially when it comes to sex and escorts seeing as this is after all an escort review board, and not nearly as ignorant as you make it out.
I think some of us know as much about sex in the US as US residents do about Griffintown lol.

 

[TheQuestion]

Most of this traces to the United States having been settled by Puritans and assorted other religious bible thumpers who were fleeing persecution in England. This history is quite evident in not only our federal constitution which aggressively imbues the values of religious freedoms, but in archaic state statutory and common law which proved very resistant to change for well over 200 years. There are still large swaths of bible thumpers in the United States and over the years we have seen the enormous hypocrisy of these institutions from Jimmy Swaggart's legendary "I Have Sinned" speech to the more recent controversies with Oral Roberts University.

IMHO most Canadians are very ignorant of this history and the impact and influence that was brought to bear on the political institutions of the USA by the religious zealots who founded the country so asking them for their opinion, which js mostly uneducated on the real causes if not the effect, is a bit silly.

For example the average Canadian could not tell you how this situation could have developed, much less how it was overcome later on. There are deep historical, cultural, political and religious factors that produces something like this spectacle:

Hey man, I appreciate your comment. I only ask Canadians since I thought they could bring a "fresh perspective." What I have noticed when I asked American in other forums. The knee jerk reaction is "No we are not like that, you are generalizing." Similarly if you ask Mexicans about something in their culture, they'll say, "No is not like that." However, if you ask Americans about Mexicans they give very insightful observations. Or even American expats living in Mexico they'll give very in-depth an insightful observations.

 

[EagerBeaver]

I think some of us know as much about sex in the US

Distinguish between knowledge of the cause and knowledge of the effect. Most Canadians know the effect, which is what you have addressed. Most do not understand the root causes and manifest that lack of understanding by asking me why that is the case. Many Montreal escorts have asked me why we have to see escorts in Montreal. They don't understand the historical reasons for it, the root causes. Someone like you wouldn't either. Most Canadians do not get a significant level of education on what shaped the early history of the United States, its political institutions and its laws. There are many books written on this subject and most persons who were educated and grew up in the USA would simply have a better understanding of why things are the way they are. Guys like Patron would know all of what I posted, and it makes sense to us, but not to foreigners who always ask me the same questions as the OP.

 

[EagerBeaver]

EB,
I think some of us know as much about sex in the US as US residents do about Griffintown lol.

I bet cash money that I have fucked more escorts at rented property within the territorial boundaries of Griffintown than you have, and for purposes of this board and the review thread you refer to, that is the only education, training and experience that matters.

 

[Fradi]

I think you assume way to much.
Like I said there are many of us who have travelled and lived in the US and who have way stronger ties to the US than just the occasional romp in Griffintown for escorts.
I probably know way more about European and Australian history than most living in North America but as someone who has travelled for the past 40 years all over the US and owned property there and having half my family there no I wouldn’t say that I would be one to ask you for why Americans come to Montreal to see escorts.

 

[EagerBeaver]

By the way if you put my posts and Patron's together you get the full and real answer to the OP's question. My posts address the issue of the sex question from the standpoint of the early development of the United States as a country, and its institutions and laws and political infrastructure, while Patron has taken that framework and applied modern economics to the equation. Please note that there has been a huge influx of immigrants into the USA in the larger cities and those ladies greatly and disproportionately manifest in the higher end escort scene and in Seeking Arrangement for all of the reasons Patron mentions. This is why if you have to hobby in the USA, you absolutely must lose a taste for white women and develop a taste for Latinas, Blacks, and Asians. Or else you must go to Montreal. That's basically it. That being said I do both and I have figured out that the way to go in the USA is to seek out women of other races on SA and similar websites. Economics compels the cheaper range of the high end sex scene, and those women staff it.

 

[Fradi]

I bet cash money that I have fucked more escorts at rented property within the territorial boundaries of Griffintown than you have, and for purposes of this board and the review thread you refer to, that is the only education, training and experience that matters.

You think fucking escorts in Griffintown makes you an expert on Montreal property values
Eb you always think way more about yourself than most.
Obviously humility is not one of your traits.

 

[Fradi]

By the way if you put my posts and Patron's together you get the full and real answer to the OP's question. My posts address the issue of the sex question from the standpoint of the early development of the United States as a country, and its institutions and laws and political
Infrastructure, while Patron has taken that framework and applied modern economics to the equation. Please note that there has been a huge influx of immigrants into the USA in the larger cities and those ladies greatly and disproportionately manifest in the higher end escort scene and in Seeking Arrangement for all of the reasons Patron mentions. This is why if you have to hobby in the USA, you absolutely must lose a taste for white women and develop a taste for Latinas, Blacks, And Asians. Or go to Montreal. That's basically it.

I never disputed what you and Patron said, in fact I agree with most of it.
What I don’t like is the fact that you assume everybody here is ignorant of what goes on in other parts of the world especially next door to us.

BTW. How many times have you been outside of North America and how many countries have you lived in, travelled to that makes you such an authority on everything and your ability to compare life and sexual practices to other parts of the world.
Yes I know about Griffintown and the famous mini private parties lol.

 

[EagerBeaver]

I wouldn’t say that I would be one to ask you for why Americans come to Montreal to see escorts.

Perhaps you can enlighten us all on what you have learned and answer the OP's question?

 

[Fradi]

Perhaps you can enlighten us all on what you have learned and answer the OP's question?

I will leave it to you, you are the man it seems.
I am perfectly comfortable not being an authority on everything, feeling important is not one of my goals.

 

[TheQuestion]

@Patron
I see man, and I agree. At the same time, don't you think the USA is one of those countries where radical feminists along with sex-negative feminists ideas have more of sway in the culture? In what they think is more popular among more mainstream liberals.

What I mean is that I have also seen some of this ideas in Spain and Argentina but at least there is a countering force. For instance, you have a political party like Vox, "We cannot criminalize men for being men or liking women..etc" I do sometimes feel that in certain circle in the USA there's strong anti-men, anti-sex work culture. It might be similar in other English-speaking countries as well. Though not sure how strong, I remember watching an English feminist saying very negative things about sex work.

For instance, I've seen it in liberal circles and colleges where people would think of us and other men into hobbying, as "evil" sex tourist who need to be punish and send to "John schooL." And the sex workers are victims of a patriarchal system and need to be extensively helped to reintegrate into society. And a really cool website like this where you do your ratings would be deemed as a place of "institutionalized" misogyny.

Maybe, I have run into the wrong circles but there are sex negative people and feminist online who do have this prejudice ideas and are repeated by more mainstream liberals.

 

[EagerBeaver]

I will leave it to you, you are the man it seems.
I am perfectly comfortable not being an authority on everything, feeling important is not one of my goals.

You can take a shot at me but unlike you I added something to the thread and was also honest.

ONCE AGAIN- it is a fact that I am asked the same question all the time by Canadians that the OP is asking in this thread. It doesn't make me "feel important" to either state the facts or, unlike you, actually contribute my experience as I have in this thread and the one discussing Griffintown. It seems in both cases, The Question appreciated my info and contribution, whereas in both cases he got zero contribution from you.

 

[EagerBeaver]

The simple fact is that when women have more economic, educational and lifestyle choices, there will be fewer marriages and long-term relationships that are beneficial to most men. Just a simple statistical fact, especially when a disproportionate percentage of men are interested in the same small group of attractive women.

Interesting analysis. I felt I had met the perfect woman for me on Seeking Arrangement. We dated for 3.5 years. She is African American, college educated, 27 years old, and from the time we started dating, held down a very good job. Open minded and very, very independent and had her own place and her own car. For the first year or so of seeing her I compensated her for all dates. Eventually, she told me she only wanted compensation for dates on which we were intimate, and this became a smaller percentage of our overall dates.

Then 3 years into this arrangement things changed. She told me she wanted a "committed relationship". Even though I had seen other SA girls on the side and sort of planned on continuing to do so, I was fine with this, as I enjoyed our time together, we got along well, especially on the trips I took her on, and I wanted our relationship to continue. Unfortunately, things quickly ended after she told me she wanted to have children and asked me my feelings on the subject. She had when we started dating wanted to foster and adopt, but her periods became more and more virulent over time, and they gave her what she called "baby fever." I saw this firsthand on our trips. Then she heard I didn't want to have my own children and saw the writing on the wall that I wasn't going to be a Baby Daddy. And I was quickly dropped.

This is the problem you run into with a long term arrangement and I discovered it first hand. Women are now looking for marriage alternatives. The marriage alternative she wanted is "committed relationship and you are financially responsible for my babies." I just couldn't do it. Honestly, I miss her a lot. I have seen other ladies on SA since we broke up but she was the best by far, and frankly the best woman I have had in my life. But I think this is the new model and I found out the hard way by dating a modern woman who really knows what she wants.

 

[Fradi]

You can take a shot at me but unlike you I added something to the thread and was also honest.

ONCE AGAIN- it is a fact that I am asked the same question all the time by Canadians that the OP is asking in this thread. It doesn't make me "feel important" to either state the facts or, unlike you, actually contribute my experience as I have in this thread and the one discussing Griffintown. It seems in both cases, The Question appreciated my info and contribution, whereas in both cases he got zero contribution from you.

That is just it EB nobody really asked you specifically did they in fact the OP specifically asked for ”Canadians opinions” or people outside of the US as he believes Americans will not answer it properly because of their knee jerk reaction. Perhaps you should re- read his post #7.
You certainly have a strange way of interpreting things.
I believe he attached a like against my post but then again I do that by mistake sometimes during typing so I don’t attach too much to it.

 

[Fradi]

Patron,
There is nothing wrong with anybody responding we are all equal on this board and all are welcome to share their opinions.
That was not my point at all, what I object to is,.....well I think you know exactly what I was objecting to.
Opinions are one thing unwanted lectures are entirely different.
There are ways to share information and discuss things and then there are other ways.
Yours are informative and written in a way that people can respond to.

 

[CLOUD 500]

The simple fact is that when women have more economic, educational and lifestyle choices, there will be fewer marriages and long-term relationships that are beneficial to most men. Just a simple statistical fact, especially when a disproportionate percentage of men are interested in the same small group of attractive women.

Not so much this. It is more feminism that gave women a lot of power. Look at Canada there is so much social welfare benefits. Why does a woman need a man? She has a kid with him she can easily leave him and government will give monthly paychecks for the kid, she will be first in line to get subsidized housing, and police go hard after fathers to pay child support. The progressives/liberals are destroying the traditional nuclear family with all this welfare, feminism, and the promotion of homosexuality.