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Thread: Having control over your ejaculation

  1. #1

    Having control over your ejaculation

    I find I struggle in this area. If the girl is really hot and I am really into her, I last a very short time. For example, last Friday I met a blonde goddess. She was young, like 19 years old. She had a perfect looking face with beautiful teeth and eyes. Very nice body with a good ass. She reminded me of porn star Alexis Texas. She was very soft and gentle. Well, while I was sitting on a chair, she sit on top of me and she started bouncing her nice ass on my cock. She was very good at riding cock, kinda like Alexis Texas. I came in like 20 seconds! That's quite short for the 200$ I paid. I really wanted to let her ride me for a while then pound her hard in doggy style position for a long time, but I could not. I wish I could control my ejaculation to make good sex last longer. Guys in porn seem to be able to go forever. I wish I could last for about half the time the guys in porn with a hot woman.

    The thing is, there are often times when I last a long time with girls, but more often than not, it is because I am less into it. When a girl doesn't impress me much with her appearance or when there is a lack of chemistry or when her pussy is dry/too tight, I can last really long times, but often I struggle to ejaculate. I have the risk of my dick going soft, and there were times when I could not ejaculate at all. Also there were times when I decided to jack off at home the same day before seeing an escort, but instead of making me last longer, it would make me softer and less into the sex, thus not enjoying it as much.

    So basically the more I enjoy the sex, the quicker I come. I wish I could enjoy the sex a lot and STILL last a long time. Is this even possible?

  2. #2
    Baseball... baseball...

    If I was with Alexis Texas, I'd last about 20 seconds too...

  3. #3
    How old are you? Experience makes a big difference in these matters. When I was younger I had the same problem, but now I can more or less control ejaculation at will. It's mostly a matter of practice and confidence.

  4. #4
    Have you tried an erectile drug like Viagra with the intention of shortening the refractory period so you can cum again in the hour? I know the refractory period differs from guy to guy.

    I also finish very, very soon after starting the session if I am into the girl, which is why multiples are very important and I cross any provider off the list forever if I see her and find that she does not offer multiples. It really spoils a session for me if I have to think about baseball to avoid cumming (and I like baseball).

    I find that drugs really do shorten the refractory period, even if the manufacturers have a no comment policy on this. They want their drugs to be viewed as enhancing a long-standing monogamous loving relationship, instead of allowing a john to get more value from his hour with a hooker.

  5. #5
    Try maybe having a few drinks before sex. That works for me. Relaxes me and sort of "numbs" the feeling a little, even makes me hornier! Not saying to get totally wasted, just 2-3 drinks.

  6. #6
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    Hello Guys,

    I have to admit Peter Mojo just isn't the same any more. When I was much younger all I needed was the Sears catalog adult bra section and I could shoot out a row of 14 tiny lighted matches at a distance 7 paces with deadly pinpoint accuracy. These days despite access to the best porn the world can offer I need bigger and fewer targets and a shotgun effect, though Alexis Texas and her big cheeks do help.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Snark View Post
    How old are you? Experience makes a big difference in these matters. When I was younger I had the same problem, but now I can more or less control ejaculation at will. It's mostly a matter of practice and confidence.
    Okay to answer the question, with experience we do know where the edge of the fuse is and how to control it, even though there are still response triggers that make full control impossible. Still, I think it's a matter of personal biology. My good friend is the same age and he still has a lot of hard work not to finish very early with a condom. I'm the opposite. So I wonder if it's the luck of the draw biologically rather than experience.

    Good luck,

    Merlot

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merlot View Post
    So I wonder if it's the luck of the draw biologically rather than experience.
    It's both. When I was inexperienced I had the opposite problem. It took forever to come when I was with a woman, although by myself I could come as quick or slowly as I wanted. With experience I learned to be more natural, less self-conscious and just let my instinct take charge.

    It's not something you can control consciously, like walking or chewing. It takes a while to figure out what works for you. Also, along the way I found some great escorts that were perfect for me. It can take time also to find a good match in partners. Just because you pay someone and you find her hot does not mean that things are going to go down the way you want them to.

    For premature ejaculation, I'm not an expert, but I would suggest not to focus too much on intercourse. Build up to it. Get a good GFE that likes to take it slow and lots of foreplay. Hopefully you will learn to control your desire so that it is not too intense, but not too dim either. Ideally, a sex therapist could help you solve the problem and find the right solution for you, but that must cost a lot!
    “Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love.”

  8. #8
    Practice.

    Try jerking off more to learn your threshold and how to control it.

    Also..."pulling the goalie" will de-sensitize you a bit...and help you last.

    Do Kegel exercises to strengthen your PC muscle...this will help also.

    Good luck.

    Out.

  9. #9
    definitely some kegel exercices. you can do it anywhere from sitting down to eating/working. and do them while you pee. helps control the flow

  10. #10
    I,m exactly the same way, the more beautiful, the harder to control, unles its soon after refractory period. I use to frustrate my girlsfriends because of this. But age and experience really helped. Also, seeing alot of escorts helped :-) (take that C36!, there is a therapeutic reason to see escorts)) Having sex with a lot of different women sort of de-mistifies them, makes you gain confidence and control.

    You learn to slow your pace down when you are getting close to losing your control and accelerate if you feel like your going soft.

    Also I think the fact that we have a hard time staying erect with average looking girls could be a side effect of habitual porn viewing

    But one in a while i still 'mess up" and come too fast. The one time I saw the infamous Michaela I had not come for a several days beforehand. She was (is) so breautiful! Like a true porn star, beautiful face, slim with huge manmades. I came immediately after entering her! I wish I could get a do-over!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Birds View Post
    For example, last Friday I met a blonde goddess. She was young, like 19 years old. She had a perfect looking face with beautiful teeth and eyes. Very nice body with a good ass. She reminded me of porn star Alexis Texas.
    Looks like a good find, can not find the review?

    For me it is the opposite now the SP was to work to make it happen quickly. I tried some organic type Viagra ( forget the name ) years ago and I would get very hard but not able to cum ( this was my going to full sex strip club days and after 3 songs some would charge extra,,,, not good ).
    I do not think outside the box, I do not think inside the box, I do not even know where the box is.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Sol Tee Nutz View Post
    Looks like a good find, can not find the review?

    For me it is the opposite now the SP was to work to make it happen quickly. I tried some organic type Viagra ( forget the name ) years ago and I would get very hard but not able to cum ( this was my going to full sex strip club days and after 3 songs some would charge extra,,,, not good ).
    Horny goat weed maybe?

    For the OP problem, i'm the same and always have been. It's either i come too fast, or i barely get hard. I know that's all in my head because when i do get hard, it's as strong as wood. Also the more i have sex, the more i can control myself. But when it's been weeks since i had intercourse, usually it doesn't last long.

    There are some approved medical treatment to control premature ejaculation, they can extend your time by a significant value, but i don't necessarily recommend it. I confirm it works, but i would not abuse of it. Self-control is the way to go. Personally i like to set the pace myself, so i can adjust the speed at will. A girl taking control and riding me will make me cum in no time. I know i can't go full throttle for long period, even if i would like to bang a girl real hard and fast, so i make sure to change my pace regularely. Start slow, go faster, slow down, repeat. Girls like rythm changes too.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by 2fast2slow View Post
    Also I think the fact that we have a hard time staying erect with average looking girls could be a side effect of habitual porn viewing
    There's a lot of anecdotal evidence that porn watching affects how you respond sexually when not watching porn. (check out yourbrainonporn.com). Whatever practice you do to gain better control, I wouldn't suggest not doing it while watching or fantasizing about porn. Focus on the sensation instead.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Birds View Post
    I find I struggle in this area. If the girl is really hot and I am really into her, I last a very short time. For example, last Friday I met a blonde goddess. She was young, like 19 years old. She had a perfect looking face with beautiful teeth and eyes. Very nice body with a good ass. She reminded me of porn star Alexis Texas.?
    Who was this sp she sounds lovely?

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Birds View Post
    She had a perfect looking face with beautiful teeth and eyes. Very nice body with a good ass. She reminded me of porn star Alexis Texas.
    Was she gap-toothed like Alexis?

    Quote Originally Posted by Birds View Post
    Guys in porn seem to be able to go forever. I wish I could last for about half the time the guys in porn with a hot woman.
    With experience comes control... But one thing you may not realize is that porn fucking is different than "real fucking." In porn, you have to open up to the camera. It's also often a lot more start/stop/start than what you see on screen. Someone has to pee... The girl's sponge isn't holding back her menstrual flow and the camera is picking it up... The guy has a brief wood problem because a position was difficult especially because he had to stay opened up for the camera... Good editors are the unsung heroes of the industry. I usually last a long time, but once past a certain point, coming can be a problem. Jerking it helps, but I'm usually lucky with accommodating talent that let's me fuck normally for a few minutes to bring me to my edge. Don't compare your ability to last to a porn scene... Not only is it unfair to yourself, it's not what it seems...
    Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. James Dean

    Fuck like someone's filming. Max Edge

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