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Thread: Nothing like death to make you ponder

  1. #1

    Nothing like death to make you ponder

    This week, a close family friend of ours passed away. I was planning on seeing some special ladies but I cancelled because I am really not in the mood. Death is a fact of life. We see people dying on tv, in the movies, on the news, but when it hits home, it really makes you reevaluate your life. There is never a good time for death. I remember my grandmother on her deathbed, telling me to be a good person. My eyes swell just thinking about that moment.

    I realize this is a morbid subject but, apart from deep sadness, do you find yourself in very reflective moods when someone close to you dies?

    Last edited by General Gonad; 03-02-2006 at 08:07 AM.

  2. #2
    You have my deapest condolences. I know what it feels like. My mother died in '98 and at times I still find myself thnking about things that were left unsaid and undone, at times wondering if I could have done things any better. Whether it's a close friend or a family member, it changes the way you look at life for a while at least. Eventually you go back to normal but thoughts and memories still pop up from time to time. I just try to focus on the good ones and let the others fall away.

  3. #3

    Thank you for your deep condolescences. I feel for you with your mom, closure is important. Death also reminds us that we should let the people we love know it while they are alive.


  4. #4


    My very sincere condolences GG, may life comfort you ...
    Last edited by The Wizard of Oz; 03-02-2006 at 12:47 PM.
    The Wizard of Oz
    Socrate's Dog - An effective way to cause reflexion without abuse.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    I wish I had the words to say that would ease your pain. You have my sincere sympathies.

    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  6. #6

    thank you

    Thank you all for your kind words. Even though it wasn't my parent, it hit home. Dee, I like the way you said it:

    "I think (that for me) the most important thing that I have discovered is that "getting over it" doesn't mean forgetting it, but rather accepting that this event (and all that it entails) is now part of my fabric, another part of what I am."

    As you all know, I do not believe in institutional religion but I believe there is an after-life. I believe in God who is in all of us and tells us to treat people with respect and kindness. Why do I believe? Because I would go mad thinking that this is it.

    Apparently, even atheists and agnostics rediscover faith on their deathbeds.

    God bless,


  7. #7
    Hey GG,

    You have my sympathies...even if it's not in the direct family it can struck you even harder; I lost 2 very close friends (both died at 27) and it shook me more than some family members!

    We do have to live day by day and live the fullest, cause we never know what can happen.

    I hope you can nicely recover from this, even though it can be extremely tough.


  8. #8
    Working rage-aholic
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    a rocky planet with one moon
    GG, sorry to hear about your loss.
    Yes, this is depressing, but it's reality, and you can't hide from it. A friend of mine says that death is a time to celebrate the life of a person. It's a positive outlook that I just can't share. Not suprisingly, he is Catholic and believes, at least to some extent, in the after life. I don't. To quote from Fight Club, "You are the same mass of decaying organic matter as everything else."
    I wish I could believe otherwise, for the same reason you list; it's maddening to realize this is it.
    Here's hoping that you're right and I'm wrong. And, here's hoping that, if you're right, God is merciful. Lastly, here's hoping that, if both are true, your friend IS in a better place.
    At the worst, here's hoping that at least he or she is at peace.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    Here's hoping that you're right and I'm wrong. And, here's hoping that, if you're right, God is merciful. Lastly, here's hoping that, if both are true, your friend IS in a better place.
    Flybob, btyger,

    Thanks for your sympathies, I appreciate it. I was wondering how many other Merbites do believe in life after death. Is this it or is our spirit stronger than our 'decaying' bodies?

    Also, to lighten things up a bit, if there is a heaven, who would you like to be right there with you? Let's assume that "God is merciful," but only allows you three temptations.

    Last edited by General Gonad; 03-03-2006 at 07:54 AM.

  10. #10


    Some people have PMd me asking me if they can include family members in their afterlife. Of course you can with no restrictions. Also, feel free to include as many famous people right there with you. I was thinking of Marx but he may drive me mad, not to mention he was unhygienic. I don't know, apart from my loved ones, I would like to have the ability to meet Martin Luther King, Henry Miller, Winston Churchill and yes, Marylin. There are many, many more great people I would love to meet in my afterlife.


  11. #11

    Sincerest condolences

    Your loved one has left behind memories that you can cherish forever, hold on to them to help get you through the rough times.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    I was thinking of Marx but he may drive me mad, not to mention he was unhygienic.

    Hey at least you can find some humour in all this!

    I believe in Afterlife and also believe God is not an entity but an energy that's part of all creatures. I was born a christian (catholic) but I dont think it's the only religion...anyone can have it's own religion/belief. It's the believing in something greater that's mostly important.


  13. #13

    My Condolences General Gonad

    As the oldest in a large family many times I have been with a loved one when they died or the last one to see someone alive.

    I recently attended the funeral of the man who taught me to ski. Eventually I want on to become a world class extreme skier. At his funeral I noticed a lot of people over 65 have gotten used to going to funerals and it is no big deal.
    That is SAD.

    True, death is part of life, but we are all unique individuals and our lives should be celebrated for whatever positive moments, experiences or influence we may have had, large or small.

    When they announced that this fine gentleman requested a donation to his favorite charity in leu of flowers, I hand delivered a sizable check and volunteered for their board of directors.

    Finding something you can do to carry on someones good wishes that would make them proud, can turn grief into a positive experience for all.

    Take care,


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