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Thread: What's the best way to confirm a date

  1. #1
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    Question What's the best way to confirm a date

    This is a question for anyone and everyone, hobbyists and SP/MPs alike! I want to see the answer to this from all points-of-view.

    How can you be sure that your date will show up? Do you ask for a deposit? Do you exchange phone numbers? What exactly are people comfortable with?

    Harmony

  2. #2
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    Depends on how much in advance the date was booked.

    If it is more than a couple of days then the day before please send an email a day or two before, and the day of, call me a couple of hours before with a number where I can reach you. I will call you just before I leave to go meet you.

    For dates made in the morning for the same evening or for the next day, a call a couple of hours in advance is fine.

    And if for any reason you have to cancel, even if it is something very unexpected and last minute, please let me know.

    Ronnie,
    Naughtylady
    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  3. #3
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    Question Calling sounds good, but...

    The problem is the exchange of phone numbers. So far, I haven't met many men who didn't feel awkward in exchanging numbers.

    I guess a lot of men have had bad experiences with giving out their confidential information, or maybe they think that their numbers will be used for something other than confirming dates and making sure everything's running on time!?!

    It's understandable that they want to disclose as little information as possible for fear of what can be done with that information, but I would like to believe that most SP's are professional enough to keep that kind of information private and confidential, and also not abuse the fact that they have that information in their possession (i.e. harrass the clients/call when there's no date to confirm/etc).

    I'm not very familiar with how agencies work, but I'm pretty sure they don't send out their girls to some unknown location to some strange man who hasn't given them a confirmed phone number and/or name...

    So when it comes to indies, what's the ideal situation for both parties? What's an acceptable compromise?

  4. #4
    Wine, women, & song ... ck_nj's Avatar
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    For me it depends on whether I am seeing someone from an agency, or seeing an indy.

    With an agency, it is already hard to book in advance, even a day in advance. I do try via email or phone a day or 2 in advance if I can. Then I confirm the appointment on the day I arrive, by phone.

    With an indy it is actually a lot easier. It is easy to phone or email in advance. I email to confirm the day before, and I do call the day I arrive.

    For both, if there is a problem (like a flight delay or somthing like that), I will call.

    Now maybe I am the exception, but it just makes sense to me to do these types of things.

    CK
    Clark
    ------
    MOONEY: Sergeant, I swear! Flying! With a big red cape! And bright red boots as well! Then, quick as a wink - he was gone! Flew up in the air again, he did. Like a big blue bird!
    SERGEANT: Like a big blue bird....with bright red boots! Why don't you take the rest of the night off now, Mooney. Go back to Murphy's bar and finish what you plainly started. I'll be off myself in a bit and join ya there...

  5. #5
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    Thumbs down easiest communication with Indies

    Quote Originally Posted by ck_nj
    With an indy it is actually a lot easier. It is easy to phone or email in advance. I email to confirm the day before, and I do call the day I arrive.

    Now maybe I am the exception, but it just makes sense to me to do these types of things.
    I must also be that exception you mention.

    On my last trip to Montreal, I pre-booked meetings with 3 independents that I had never met before. They were very easy to deal with, and offer a great alternative to taking the agency gamble.

    A few emails prior to my leaving, an email & phone call upon arrival with hotel/room information, and a "day of" phone call was all it took. Emails were answered promptly and there was an exchange of "expectations" , neither of which you'll get from most agencies.

    To the point of this thread, there was no way to guarantee that I would show, or that they would show up, and there never is. If these ladies had a history of cancellations, I would know about it from the boards and I would never had booked them in the first place. I can't speak to what method they used to screen me in advance.

    I will still call agencies, but I want a few dates confirmed before I drive the 320 miles to the Mecca.

    Regards,

    Voyager
    "No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain cannot be denied—it speaks in silence to the very core of your being."
    -Ansel Adams

  6. #6
    Wine, women, & song ... ck_nj's Avatar
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    Voyager I know what you mean.
    I drive 360 miles, due north.

    I guess that my original point, about being the exception, is that I feel that it's just proper etiquette to confirm, and comminucate as soon as you can if there are any problems. Am I wrong?

    CK
    Last edited by ck_nj; 06-29-2006 at 11:34 PM.
    Clark
    ------
    MOONEY: Sergeant, I swear! Flying! With a big red cape! And bright red boots as well! Then, quick as a wink - he was gone! Flew up in the air again, he did. Like a big blue bird!
    SERGEANT: Like a big blue bird....with bright red boots! Why don't you take the rest of the night off now, Mooney. Go back to Murphy's bar and finish what you plainly started. I'll be off myself in a bit and join ya there...

  7. #7

    How to Confirm?

    I usually ask the gentleman to call or email me the morning of, if we are meeting early, then an email the night prior or a call in the morning works. I have hardly had a problem that way because we are both aware of the timing and location.

    Have a great day!

    xoxox
    Anik

  8. #8

    To your questions

    Harmony,

    There is no hard and fast rule to go by, but these are my observations based on my past experience:

    HDH indies who see few (2-3) clients a day, each for more than an hour tend to require a deposit because the opportunity cost of a no-show is high.

    Several SPs I know of prefer to communicate strictly by email because: you can get a sense of the type of potential client you're dealing with based on the writing style; and you can take your time and think through a little bit before you respond--if you wish to respond--as opposed to picking up a phone call and being caught off-guard for instance by an aggressive or inappropriate caller.
    A demander: une cochonne Quebecoise ou Allemande avec qui le sol se derobe sous mes pieds!

  9. #9
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    Post

    Quote Originally Posted by ck_nj
    I guess that my original point, about being the exception, is that I feel that it's just proper etiquette to confirm, and comminucate as soon as you can if there are any problems. Am I wrong?
    From my perspective, you are not wrong. Since all of the preliminary interaction shows what type of person you are, and considering the ultimate goal, being respectful & considerate will set all parties at ease and lead to a better meeting.


    Quote Originally Posted by picasso
    HDH indies who see few (2-3) clients a day, each for more than an hour tend to require a deposit because the opportunity cost of a no-show is high.
    Which Montreal ladies require a deposit, because I haven't found any? The majority of ladies that I have spent time with over the years have been HDH, and I have never been asked for a deposit. Also, they may only see 2-3 clients per week for multiple hours.

    Regards,

    Voyager
    "No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain cannot be denied—it speaks in silence to the very core of your being."
    -Ansel Adams

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by picasso

    HDH indies who see few (2-3) clients a day, each for more than an hour tend to require a deposit because the opportunity cost of a no-show is high.
    I have never seen anyone working in Montreal who asks for a deposit - now, some who travel do, but in Montreal? I don't think that would work here.

    Anik

  11. #11
    I never accept an email as the only confirmation.

    For me I ask that I'm telephoned a few hours before the date. (From an unblocked phone of course)
    (514) 433–8920
    http://nikitalecoeur.com

    I'm not something you can find in a Walmart.

    Please unblock your phone number in order to recieve a response.

  12. #12
    For incall/outcall independant SPs, I generally book about 1 week in advance if I've seen them before. If I haven't seen them before, I will go with 2 weeks advance booking especially if it is only via e-mail. I will generally call in the early afternoon (11:00am-1:00pm) to make sure everything is good on her end and confirm that everything is good at my end. If we've confirmed that everything is fine in the early afternoon (neither of us are sick or she doesn't have a visit from Aunt Flo, 1 hour before the outcall, I will call to make sure everything is fine again or I will ask her to call me before she leaves for my hotel. For incall, I will generally call before I leave (about 30 minutes before appointment) to confirm that I am cumming

    For outcall agencies that don't provide fixed schedules, I will generally call on the day I want a date to see who is available and confirm a time with a particular SP.

    For outcall agencies that have fixed schedules, I will generally follow a modified version of my incall/outcall independant plan where I book the appointment a week in advance and I call back during the afternoon to confirm everything is okay and call back again about 1 hour before the appointment to make sure it is still fine.

  13. #13

    Some thoughts on confirming a date...

    If I were an indy, I would first ask someone to contact me via email, describing what they expect from the encounter and telling me about themselves.

    After the initial screening email, provide him with a number where he can reach you and set up an appropriate time to chat. An independent SP should always chat with the client prior to the date to a get a 'feel' for the guy (Anik even meets them prior to the encounter). Admittedly, this isn't perfect but you should still do it.

    Do not ask him to provide you with a number right away, only after the second confirmation email. I do not deal with SPs who do not pick up the phone because of my blocked number. I never give my last name to anyone - ever - it's none of their business.

    Then, as the day of the encounter approaches, ask them to email you a day in advance to confirm and to call you at the number in case of a last minute emergency, which can happen. Make sure you tell them that if you do not receive the confirmation email the prior day, the date is cancelled. This is where you can ask for a number in case an emergency arises.

    By doing this, you put the responsibility in the client's hands to take some easy steps to confirm the date.

    GG

    P.S. Never, ever, ask for a deposit...you'll get laughed at.
    Last edited by General Gonad; 07-11-2006 at 09:11 AM.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Make sure you tell them that if you do not receive the confirmation email the prior day, the date is cancelled. This is where you can ask for a number in case an emergency arises.

    By doing this, you put the responsibility in the client's hands to take some easy steps to confirm the date.

    GG

    P.S. Never, ever, ask for a deposit...you'll get laughed at.
    I liked most of what you had to say - but requiring confirmation it not the best idea. One, because the client will believe that there is no harm in not confirming the day prior, when in fact, the entire time that time slot has already been booked and it would be hard to book it with just a days notice (well, especially if you are picky like me!)... I prefer to say that a date can be cancelled anytime up to 2 days prior, after that, I expect it to go through, or for that person to pay my fee. Admittedly, I travel, don't see many clients in Montreal, so I am not sure how that would work here, but it works for me in the US.

    I don't like blocked numbers, there are at least a few people who don't understand the words - please don't call me again.

    xoxox
    Anik

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