Because its fun to play games! I've never been with an actual dominatrix, but I like when there's a bit of dominance/submission. Ideally I prefer a woman who acts slightly dominant during foreplay and makes me beg for it, but who acts more submissive during sex. But it has to be playfull. Really bossy or naturally submissive woman turn me off.
“Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love.”
Do you know the scene from "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" when they finally decide to stop trying to kill each other and start getting it on. Both try to dominate each other, but she ends up being ridden rather than the reverse. I have no interest in Doms, but there's a lot of arousal and fun in the kind of sexual struggle in the movie...without the murderous prequel of course. I love it when the woman shows just the right amount of aggressiveness, though like you I find "bossy" a turn off. Still, I do find complete submission from the start another very arousing flavor.
Interesting article. A number of escorts I've met indicated they also do this and hinted about the offer. Two were very clear about being Doms on the side. But it's never been my taste at all.